PART -20
When Maan and Geet came out in the living room Naina and Pari were already up and sitting. Naina watched Maan intently before running upto him and giving him a hug. Maan was not prepared for this sudden show of affection and just hugged back awkwardly.
Naina:" I am sooo happty veerji..."
Maan:" That I can see Naina but why?"
Naina:" My super smart Veerji, can't you guess?"
Maan:" I will pass Naina."
Naina watched Maan and slowly brought his hand up and said softly," You painted Veerji!! After years you have painted again. You don't know how happy I am for this."
Maan smiled and watched an contend Daadi and delightful Dev. Dev ran up to him and said softly,
Dev:" Bro you painted? "
Maan smiled and nodded positively. It was like his painting again had brought an immense amount of happiness to everyone.
Daadi came along and hugged Maan. Maan hugged back closing his eyes. Daadi said softly," I am so happy Maan beta you decided to paint again. "
Then turning to Geet she said," And Geet I see you have overcome your fears and have painted again."
Geet: "An old friend's memories and Maan's assistance had a lot to do with it Daadi."
Dev:" Geet, you paint as well?"
Daadi:" She is a very talented painter and you all have admired her handwork before. Remember the painting I brought back from the college competition I judged. It's of Geet's."
Both Dev and Naina houted together about how beautiful the painting was and how it had touched their heart. Finally Naina asked the next obvious question.
Naina:" So veerji, you must have known Geet before since you were there?"
"I actually...". Maan began but one look at Geet and he knew she did not want to share those encounters. Even he didn't feel like sharing them to anyone. Something about those moments seemed extremely private to be shared.
Maan: "I actually never accompanied Daadi for the function since I was busy with the college placement officer about campusing. It was today morning that I came to know Geet is such a talented painter and also the same person who drew the painting we all loved."
Many have praised Geet a million times but today when Maan praised she felt good. It was as if she was waiting for his appreciation and never ever wanted to disappoint him in any way.
Naina:" Geet you are so talented painter. Who made you an engineer?"
Thousands of memories of somebody else teasing her about the same thing came along making her eyes a little teary. As if silently understanding her pain Maan squeezed her hands a bit showing his support. Geet silently blinked back the tears. She cannot give the usual jovial reply she was used to giving for this question and answered in a truthful voice," I want this to be a hobby, not a proffession Naina. Proffession will make me loose the actual free urge of painting and it is tough to get your name recognized in this line. I have to look after myself plus save up for my post graduate so being an engineer is the best option. And, I am not so sure if my parents will ever appreciate me being a painter."
Everybody became quiet afte Geet'slitle monologue until Daadi said," Let's go and have breakfast now. I don't want my loving grandsons to leave without having breakfast."
Everybody ate together. There was both Indian dish like parathas and American breakfast with Pasta thanks to the two dudes sitting. Geet had known from her days with these two they totally love itallian.
The girls were lounging around as the khurana brothers made there way to office. The girls had off so all of them decided to lay back and watch some movie.
Naina:"So what do we watch?"
Pari:" Something romantic..."
Geet:" Since all three of us are hopeless romantics I figured that much out. But still the question is still the same...what do we watch?"
Naina: "Hey, I have a movie in mind. How about we watch the Hollywood version of my sassy girl'? It's not anything new but I haven't watched it...Actually I wanted to watch with with my girl friends for a change..."
Pari:" I haven't watchedit either. I am not so much into English movies but since you recommend its fine with me. Geet?"
Geet had watched the movie earleier. It is a movie more like her condition. She knew watching the movie will be torturing her already tortured soul. But Naina's hopeful expression was too precious to be denied.
Geet smiled and said with determination," Bring it on princess!!"
Naina scowled at her and put the DVD on and came back to have a seat. The lights were dimmed one thing Geet was thankful of.
Geet couldn't keep check on her tears as she watched. She knew the reason behind Jordan's madness, her crazy unexplainable behaviour. Geet had a first hand experience on what it felt like to lose the sanity.
How many times had Meer and Sid brought her back from lake side almost unconscious breatheless with tears? She hadn't been exactly drunk or anything but she had had her fair share of crazy acts...
By the time it came to reading the letters Geet was on the verge oof breaking down...Jordan's words had been so right. It feels wrong to let go...
All three were in tears by the end because even in positivity the movie had an edge of melancholia but no one felt it as Geet. Geet excused herself silently and took out her phone. As much as she knew Meer will help her right this moment she needed Sid, her friend, her brother.
Sid was sitting at the office food courtwhen his cell wrong. Geet was calling and he knew it had to be something serious.
Sid:" Hey Geet!!"
Geet:" Sid"
The voice itself said that Geet was crying and he knew who can bring this reaction in Geet.
Sid:" Geet babu! Where are you? What happened?"
Geet: "Nothing like that. I watched a movie. It reminded me of him too much."
Sid:" What movie did you watch dear?"
Geet answered almost in hiccups," My sassy girl."
The growl that Sid made was unannounced, something Geet was unprepared for and the surprise made her hit the loudspeaker button as he shouted," Why will you do this to yourself Geet? Why? You knew right what will happen if you watch it. Then why would you endure such a torture, watch a movie that will remind you...remind you of him..."
Sid took a deep breath and said again," Geet, I am sorry sona. I shouldn't have shouted but your words just reminded me of your initial days after ... after he passed away. You have done really good, especially after you moved to Mumbai but you cannot do something like this to yourself. It is not good dear."
Geet let go of the tears and said," I watched with friends and saying no meant telling them that the movie is lot like my life. I am Jordan. I have lost the most amazing, the most lovable person of my life in a freaking flight cras. I couldn't even bid him a proper goodbye Sid. We couldn't even find his body also..."
Geet broke down into a soundless sob. Sid's own eyes turned teary and he said in a hoarse voice filled with emotions," I understand your loss Geet. We all had loved him like a family. But the truth is that he is gone. Stop torturing or thinking it would have been better for you had you been there on that flight with him. Please Geet, grip it. You are doing awesome and nowadays I truly get a glimpse of that naughty Geet who would make our lives hell with her pranks. Please sona, just hold on and try harder."
Geet dried her eyes and said softly," I need you here Sid. Do you think it is possible for you and Meer to come even if for a weekend?"
Sid:" I can't give a word without talking to Meera but I will try to be there as soon as possible. Just be okay."
Geet:" Sid, how do you know about me wanting to be in that plane?"
Sid sighed and answered in a broken voice," The numbe of times you had been violent in the initial few months you remember that I was allowed to stay with you and Meera to help in case you get too violent?"
Geet:" Yeah I do remember."
Sid:" You used to scream and scratch me asking me to let you go so you can go and die. You used to shout about how you wished you were there in that plane. You know I and Meera hardly slept a wink for first few months. Then all of a sudden you just went all quiet. Not a sound. And then you became this alien form of Geet we used to know. You know how happy and relieved we were when we talk to you nowadays. It's like my bestie Geet is back again. I know you haven't healed Geet, not by a long shot. But you are reaching there. What you and he had was no teenage crush but the real deal and love of that kind never fades really. But nowadays I find something in your voice that I had never felt ever since he left."
Geet:" What is that?"
Sid:" Hope. You are not really there where you can dream again but you at least subconsciously hope to be there. And there is nothing wrong in it sweety. He would have wanted you to be there..."
Geet:" I had been a handful didn't I?"
Sid:"That you always have been. Don't worry dear; I and Meera will be there sometime real soon. Plus we are both dying to meet your new friends who had helped you so much."
Geet:" Yeah! Meet you soon Sid! And thanks for being there you know!"
Sid:" Always sweety!"
Geet kept the phone down. She sat down on her knees letting go her tears. Armaan had been everything to her.
A soft hand held her and she looked up to see Pari and Naina standing there. Pari's face showed empathy while Naina looked horribly disturbed.
Naina:" You lost your love in a flight crash?"
Geet:" How do you know?"
Naina:" Your phone was in loudspeaker when we came here searching for you. I heard your friend and it was really very disturbing. Why the hell you didn't tell me about the movie? I wanted us to have fun, not watch you broken when I chose the movie."
Pari:" Had I known what movie was about I would never have allowed you to go through that."
Naina:" You knew?"
Pari:" He was a star student of our college so we all were you know aware about his... But I told you remember that Yash was once Geet's close friend. So I had heard a lot from Yash when he was trying to cope up."
Naina:" I understand Geet how hard it is to lose someone you love. I have lost a younger brother in a flight crash as well and even after years I can never really accept that he is gone. But your friend is right Geet. You can't break down again. Cry and all but don't let it get into your system again. It's hard but I am sure you will pull it off."
Geet nodded. She knew what everyone had told her was right but then that is the simple thing as Jordan had pointed out..." It feels wrong to let go..."
It was not long before all three of them went back to the hostel. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster for Geet so both Pari and Naina had decided to give her her space.
Geet opened up her diary and started writing:
Dear Armaan,
There had been too many things going on you know. I had organized a party and then it was all like...like I had never been so alive. We were all invited since we kind of made the party happened. You know how I loved having girl time while dressing up. I am sure you know for the amount of time you had stood screaming for me to hurry up. Anyway we went inside once we were ready. To be frank Maan escorted me inside. I was bored but sometime later I went out to being the fresh air. Maan came to get me after sometime. All was going well until that song was played...that song which had been ours. I had been so lost in our time that I didn't even notice that I wasn't dancing with you...that I was dancing with Maan. You know I danced like there was no tomorrow and at the end I said I love him. You have to trust me Armaan that all I was seeing was you. I thought I was saying I love you to you. But then as I came out of the trance I realized what I had done. I had run away filled with Guilt. But you knowMaan had found me. He took me away to his home trying to provide me a peaceful environment to find solace. Maan was hurt you know. His face, his eyes had said it all. But he didn't let me apologize. He said he had known I was in some kind of trance. I had felt worse hurting a gemof a person like him. I am so bad. Even after all these Maan sat by me as I shared with him about us. He held me when I cried for you. He helped me open up; really open up for the first time after...after you're gone. But that was not the end. Today morning when I woke up I had been up really early. Strange because I hadn't slept till two pm last night. But I kind of visited the temple area of the house. I felt peace.Maybe sharing truly helps. The pain is still there, I still feel that you should be here but somehow maybe I have come in terms with the fact that you will never come back. Going to the temple maybe a short step but I think I am no longer in war with God.I met Savitri Devi and she and I had a long chat about paintings and life. She asked me to call her Daadi and I felt like she is my own Daadi. I never had the feeling of having family.I don't even remember the last time I had visited home. Do I even have a home? From 5th standard all my holidays were spent either at Meer's place or in some summer or winter camps and in college hostel. I don't even remember when the last time I met mom and dad was. Teji bhai still visited me sometimes whenever he is back in country and we regularly are in touch via skype. But that has been all. I envied Maan having such a beautiful family to hold on to. Anyway I talked about how I could never paint after that painting with yours eyes. Daadi took me to inside her studio and I watched tha painting of mine kept in all its glory. She left me alone. You know Armaan I thought I would breakdown the next time I see that painting but I just felt happy, happy that Daadi had kept the painting the way I had always wanted to. Proudly being displayed like it was priceless...I am being silly aren't I? You know I was reminded of you but then first time there was someone to wipe away my tears. I had always been discreet in crying for you but Maan had something about him that connects with me making it easier to share. And in that one moment I read his eyes I realized he loves me. Maybe he loves me like you had loved me. I can't explain how deep his emotions were. I felt horrible thinking how hard the dance might have been for him. But Maan assured that he wants nothing but friendship from me. A part of me wanted to stop all interaction with him so he can move on. But another little selfish part did not want to let go of a wonderful friend like him. I never knew he could paint let alone paint so good. After all he had the best teacher!! We together painted your eyes. I guess he saw the painting of mine too many times and ofcourse I was there to guide. Everything was fine. His family members were so happy to know he had painted again. It seems he had stopped painting after some incident or something. But you see Armaan I can never be happy for long. We three, me, naina and pari decided to watch movie. Naina chose My sassy girl'. All the pain, all bottled up emotions came out as I watched the heroine struggle through something I am struggling as well. I broke down and called up Sid and like an amazing friend he helped me through and promised to visit me after planning with Meer. I am soo lucky to have them in life. Naina found out since I never noticed that the phone was on loudspeaker.
Sid, Meer, Naina, Pari everyone is telling me the same thing. To let you go. But nobody really understands. It feels wrong to let you go as Jordan had pointed out. Strangely Maan never said about letting go. Maybe he understands. Strange but the only person who understands my situation, my pain had never known you in person. I expected this from Sid and Meer who had actually watched our love grow. But it is Maan, a so called stranger to our love story who realizes the true depth of my pain. I think it was good decision to have him as a friend. At least I can share your memories with someone without getting lectured about moving on and letting go. Armaan just because I am ranting about Maan doesnot mean I love him. It is just maybe after a long time I feel like the void that you had left in my life is being filled up. I can never replace my lover Armaan but maybe I can get a new best friend in form of Maan. Not replacing our friendship of course; Just making place of his own in a way that the gaps are filled.
I miss you Armaan. A hell lot. I have loved you and will always love you.
Forever and Always,
Yours Geet
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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