Sharon Rai Prakash had decided to spend the perfect night in. It was Valentine's Day and she had the perfect plan, if she said so herself. She gradually made her way to the living room carrying a giant bowl of microwave popcorn and a glass of Coca-Cola. She settled on the couch, and started the movie she was so desperate to watch ever since she stepped into college earlier that morning. The starting credits rolled, and she snuggled into her favourite hoodie, already munching on some popcorn. God forbid, if anyone from college saw her in her current state, they would want to take pictures and post them on their blogs. She giggled to herself as that thought crossed her mind and focused her attention on the screen. Sharon had always been the Diva; be it in school, college, or any socialite functions. She had rarely let her guard down and the people who had ever seen the girly, softer side to her were handful.
She sighed softly, and let her lips curve upwards in a soft smile as she heard Jamie say, You'll have to promise that you'll never fall in love with me'. A Walk to Remember', her favourite movie of all time; she had been watching it ever since she could remember, on every single Valentine's night. Last year, she was quite close to breaking this tradition, but she'd rather not dwell on that right now. This moment was hers and no one else's. No one had the right to evade her thoughts tonight, especially not a curly haired, dimple cheeked, sparkly eyed someone. It was a no-go.
As the minutes trickled by, the characters on the screen portrayed their story and Sharon was lost. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes when she witnessed the most adorable kiss there ever was and her mind's eye took her to another beautiful memory.
Sharon..can I?' Before he could finish the sentence, she leapt towards him, and landed in his arms. He looked stunned to say the least but overjoyed as she had understood his request of hugging her without his having to say anything.
A giggle coming from the character on screen broke her chain of thoughts as the tears flowed down endlessly. She shook her head and felt like slapping herself silly for having broken down so early on in the movie. Usually, she held out until the end. However, times had changed, hadn't they? She didn't have any memory that was so beautiful that she could connect to it after watching a romantic movie.
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie and couldn't help but let out a low chuckle as she realised who the hoodie belonged to. As she turned her attention back to the movie, and time passed, her slow tears turned out to be full blown sobs. She cried for the lovers who were about to part, cried for the pure idea of love that was portrayed so beautifully on screen, cried for the love that she had lost.
Her arms slowly made their way to her chest and as she hugged herself, she heard something that made her freeze.
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes."
She pause the movie and pressed rewind. She heard the dialogue over and over until it started to make absolute sense to her, until she started to connect with what was being said. And as she did, the name of only one person came to mind. Swayam Shekhawat - her ex-boyfriend, the only love of her life.
Swayam, it seemed to her, encompassed the idea of love that was just described to her. He was her knight in shining armour, cheesily enough. He took each of her tantrums with a smile, held her as if she was the most beautiful and precious person on this entire planet. He never meant to hide his feelings from the world, but for her, he did. He never let any of his expectations shine through and was content by the mere thought of them being together. He took care of her, even when she wanted to be left alone. He broke through her barriers and walls built with sheer patience and care. He trusted her; he was ready to face anyone's wrath, anyone's consternation for her. He relied on her to talk to him regarding any issues they had in their relationship. He cherished her and she had begun to fall deeper in love with him. He made her believe in love. And in one moment of weakness, it all fell apart.
In one moment of panic, she had let go off the one person who cherished her, the person she longed to be with from the bottom of her heart. Why had she said what she did? Even as the voice of the characters turned into a mere drone in the background, the flow of her tears didn't ebb and she suddenly felt her mind in utter chaos. She knew where she went wrong, she tried to rectify it, God knows, she tried! However now, at this very moment, if one asked her what exactly went so wrong that it couldn't go back to what it used to be, she had no answer.
She let out a muffled and strangled cry and noticed that the movie had slowly come to an end. Never had she zoned out so much that she missed out on the ending. Never had she been so hurt that it made her physically weak to stand up and go to her bedroom. She was Sharon Rai Prakash, damnit! Being weak didn't suit her. She had tried to win Swayam back, but to no avail. She had never felt so helpless, but she knew one thing. She had undergone a change in her personality after being with Swayam. He had taught her to be patient, less melodramatic. She had to be an inspiration to people, and they had to see her that way as opposed to seeing her as a tyrant. To impress Swayam, she had tried a gazillion things, none worked. She had tried to be someone she wasn't. She had tried to apologise, get back into her Diva mode; none of which worked either.
Truth be told, she missed him. She missed his friendly smiles, his teasing glances, his touch, his dimpled cheeks; she missed everything about him! And it hurt. When she saw him sitting with Ruhi in their spot, it hurt beyond words. When he accompanied that girl to the rose day party, it shattered her, and above all, he fought with her, Sharon, for that new girl. She was devastated.
Another memory flashed past her, reminding her that she wasn't going to twist herself anymore nor was she going to make any attempts to win him back. But she thought back to the dialogue from the movie and smiled to herself. Pyaar mein ego ki jagah hoti hai? Sure, she wasn't going to change herself to an extent that she couldn't recognise herself. After all, that's who he had fallen for in the first place. She had also promised herself that she wouldn't go out of her way to get Swayam. But what had he done for the past five years? He had waited for her, patiently. He had understood. He had been with her and had never left her side. He was her rock. Then why was she so hesitant to be his? He had been there fore her no matter what and that's what she was going to do, for love, for him, but with a slight twist in the tale.
Suddenly, with a surge of determination, she rose from the sofa and went straight into her store-room. Out came an A3 sheet of paper and lots of coloured markers. She was going to do this right this time, without resorting to anything unethical, anything immoral, anything untrue, anything ambivalent and above all, anything that she wouldn't be proud of to begin with. She had to do this her way; the only way she knew how to, and that, along with determination could get her anything. Swayam Shekhawat was special, and he deserved to be treated that way. He was hers and she loved him. She was Sharon Rai Prakash, and there was no way she was giving up on someone she loved, that easily.
"Love is never boastful or conceited. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes."
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... to be continued...
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