Chapter 9
Vickram sat in his darken bedroom, staring at the wall from the light that had been filtering thought the window. It could not be later than seven PM, but he did not care. What was time?, nothing really except in his case it seemed to have stopped.
Since he left Sugni that night, Vickram reverted to his old self, staying by himself hardly talking to anyone. If his family was shocked by his behavior they stayed quite after his mother tried, and he told her point blank, if she had a problem with it, he can stay in his house and she could forget dinner time. He knew it was harsh, but all he wanted was to be alone. They figured he was in one of his moods again and he would snap out of it. They were wrong.
Staying away from her knowing she was right here was not easy. How was she? , what was she doing? What did she wear to work today? He was tempted to go back and park outside her home, but if he did that he would just hurt her again and he did enough of that to last her a life time.
So he came back here where at least he could see her. Remember her. Unable to take it any more Vickram got up and made his way downstairs, where he went to retrieve a bottle of whiskey. As he did the past few nights, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of liquid fire was the only thing keeping him sane.
He laughed at the irony , who would have think he would end up the real life version of a Devdas type...at least he died two feet away from his lady love, Vickram did not even have that to look forward to.
He poured himself the straight shot quickly downing the drink, closing his eyes as it burned its way down his throat.. Making another one with ice this time he took the bottle as he was about to make his way upstairs. He stopped when he heard the knock on his front door.
Adi again...really he was in no mood for a lecture this time. Placing his bottle down he took the glass and made his way towards the front door. Sighing he opened it stopping in shock at the sight that stood in front of him.
Clearly, he did go over the deep end because suddenly Adi looked like Sugni...how strong was that one drink. Because he knew, it would be a cold day in hell before she showed up at his front door.
"He-Hi" She said as she was nervously twisting her hands. "I - a sorry I should have first called . Can I talk to you?"
Vickram blinked to clear his head, as he shut his mouth which was opened in shock she was really here?
Sure sure. Come in come right in..." he said moving aside for her to enter.
Sugni took a seat in the living room looking around. Vickram was still in disbelief that she was here.
"Ah...can I get you something to drink?" he asked.
She looked at him nervously shook her head.. then she pointed to his hand. Vickram looked at his hand which was holding the whiskey he forgot about.
"Whiskey?" he asked shocked, that was the last answer he expected. There was a time she thought alcohol was evil. She nodded.
"Ok..." he said going to the bar. "Soda or cola?" He asked.
"Just ice please." Wow! On the rocks, Vickram was beginning to wonder if he was in some weird dream. Sugni and hard liquor since when?
"I did'nt know you drank." He said he could not hide his surprise.
She shrugged.
Making the drink, he returned to her handing her the glass. She took it as she took a sip, the burn of the alcohol making her cough, as she scrunched up her face. Clearly she was not an expert, that was a relief to him.
Taking a seat opposite her Vickram looked at her as some of his good sense came back. Something was wrong he could feel it.
"ah where is Shanti?" He asked. As much as he could tell, she and the child were inseparable.
" She...uh sh...She is with Rita..." She said, it was the truth, Rita agreed to sit with her after Sugni told her she had to see someone who might help her.
"Rita?"
"My land lord." She said. He nodded, as if it made sense.
"So what brings you here?' he asked looking at her. She was staring at her glass as though it held the world of answers for her.
"What's wrong Sugni?"
Talking a breath, Sugni downed the rest of the drink as she rested the glass on the center table.
" I need your help" She said
"Help? What kind of help?" He asked
"I need...some m-money" She stuttered. "I..I'll pay it back somehow..."
"How much?" He asked, obviously she was nervous about this.
"$17,000." She said.
"Seventeen thousand dollars? Why?" He said. Why would she need that kind of money all of a sudden?
Sugni did not know how to say it...there was no easy way to say it so she blurted it out.
"Shanti... My baby ...She is very sick...she needs to have an operation and they won't do unless I come up with the money. If she does not get it done...she won't get better...I tried everything...I didn't know where else to go..." She said her eyes began welling up.
"What Oh My God!..." He said looking at her. As what she told him sank in.
Sugni looked up at Vickram who was staring at her.She was sure he was wondering why should he help her?. With the walls closing in on her, she had no choice. What else could she do? She was jobless her baby could be dying. Desperate times called for desperate measures. And for her daughter she would go to any lengths.
Slowly she stood up walking over to where he was, she sat next to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Please..." She said..."I'll do anything You say..! " She whispered.
Vickram head swiveled around to look at her, as he looked at her hand. What was she saying?
"Huh?" He said.
"Anything you want." She leaned forward as she placed her lips over his. Making it clear what she meant. .
"Wha..what are you doing?" he asked getting up. He could feel his anger beginning to rise.
He pulled back from her...
She was prostituting herself?.
Vickram got up. "What is wrong with you?" He said. " Is that what you think I want. In all the time we were together Sugni...Is that all you think my feelings for you was based on. Oh God... How could you.?!" He said. As he looked at her , she had her head bent...crying.
"So what...you came here, for my help...but since asking is like begging to you, you decided what...you'll sleep with me... for the money and that's it! Deal done!...I am that cheap huh?? That is the worth you give to yourself, and my feelings for you. Unbelievable." He said. His anger stemming from the fact that she put so little value on herself . Sugni wrapped her arms around herself, as he ranted at her. She honestly did not know what she was thinking, when she came here. All she knew is if anyone could help her now it was Vickram. She also knew that what she was asking of him was to help his enemies child. She saw there was no lengths these men would not go in their hatred for each other, why would he help her save the child of his enemy when it was that man who made no secret the only reason took Sugni was because Vickram had her.
Even then she knew that on some level Vickram himself was interested in her, after all the stalking he did trying to win her back. This should have been easy or so she thought, except now, he was mad and she lost the only chance she had to save her child. He was literally her last hope.
Sugni began to cry earnestly now.. Her world was falling apart again and she could not stop it..
"Sugni?" Vickram said as he touched her shoulder.Oh God! Watching her sobbing melted his anger. She must really be at the end of the road to be here, and instead of helping her he was ranting at her. "I am sorry I didn't mean to say all that."
She looked up at him, the desperation clear on her face.
"Please...my baby I can't lose my baby. I can't lose my baby!" She sobbed.
"Hey ...No..." Vickram said . He sat next to her as he hugged her. "Shh don't cry..."
"Sh..She's all I have" No it wasn't he wanted to say but did not.
"Hush...it's going to be alright," He said. Her anguish was heart wrenching.
He held her as she cried. All the frustration, fears helplessness coming out now. She rested her head on his chest crying. Drawing comfort from him in a way no one else was ever able to give her.
After a few minutes he pulled back to look at her wiping her face. "Don't worry...I'll help you ok."
"You-you will?" She asked looking at him. He nodded.
"Tell me what happened?" He asked
"Well, about a little over a week ago she went to school, and was really excited because she was in the school play. While practicing she fainted and they could not revive her..." Sugni told him what happened, the doctors diagnoses everything. "Now they are saying I need to get the money or no operation.'. her eyes welled up again. She could not stop crying it seemed.
"alright...alright" Vickram said. "Sugni don't worry I am here I'll make sure she gets the best care, even if that means we have to do it somewhere else. She will be alright." He assured her. Sugni looked at him, he was still willing to help her? After the fool, she just made of herself and the way she insulted him with her behavior.
"Thank you...t-thank you. I-I- promise I'll pay you back." She said
"Forget that right now. Let's just make sure she is taken care of. Hmm. " he said as he held her hand.
Both of them sat in contemplative silence for a moment. As Vickram looked at her.
"Sugni...can I ask you something?" he said.
"Hmmm?"
"Since when have you started drinking?" he said indicating her empty glass on the table.
"It started because I had to and then it sort of helped" she said. Of course, her behavior would shock him.
"Had to?" he asked confused. Sugni wondered if she should tell him how she did, but she could not lie about it either, whether they liked it or not it was a fact of her life now.. She may not be proud of it, but she was not going to pretend it did not happen.
"hmm..Thakur Vijay Singh thought it would be fun one day to make me drink, refusing him was not possible." She said in a faraway voice, not unless you wanted to get up with a few bruises the next day... she thought. Anyways after a couple you get numb, don't feel anything...so I didn't mind it." She said.
"I really messed you up didn't I?" Vickram said. After herd her explanation. He did not think he could feel any worse about himself.
She shook her head. "No...No you did not. I choose to do it. I said yes. I went through with it." She said
"But to you I am just like him na. the fact that you made that "offer" tells me that.."
Sugni bent her head as feeling of shame washing though her. He was nothing like that.
"I am sorry." She said. She did not know what else to say. She herd him sigh.
"You don't get it do you Sugni...I love you..." he said
She raised her head to look at him "Thakur Mallick..."
"No..I know you don't feel the same. You don't trust me. It's ok. I cannot control the way you feel about me. And I will accept that you probably will never trust me again. But you can't stop the way I feel about you either. And nothing you do , or did will change that. Nothing."
"What.." She began not sure what to say.
"Shh..." he smiled "I don't want you to do anything. Except stop worrying. It is getting late and I am sure you want to get back to your daughter. Let me just freshen up a bit and I take you to the hospital."
"OK." She said
Vickram got up and went upstairs, Sugni stared after him. What could she say to him? As always he was here again to get her out of a tight spot. Asking for nothing in return. No matter what she did or said he never looked down on her, always doing his best to get her out of it. Always telling her she was more than she thought she was.
If that was not love Sugni...then what else is? Her heart said. As silent tears trickled down her cheeks as a slight smile graced her lips , she could not deny that fact. Beyond reason, beyond anything she could comprehend he did love her.
Sugni leaned back against the couch as she tried to sort through all the emotions she was feeling at the moment. Anxiety of her child, yet hope that she will get better now, she was marveling at the fact that she had her Thakur Mallick back. She closed her eyes for a moment.
Then that voice started in her head, wiping the smile from her face. He loved her was true. However was she worth it though? No Sugni. After all she went through, all she did. She ruined the love they shared. She tainted it.
Yes If she accepted his love now, undoubtedly he would give it to her. She was nothing compared to him. This could never work. He deserved someone much better than her. Someone who would not burden him down, but bring him the happiness he deserves.
She intruded in his life now, breaking her own rule that he stay away and just made things difficult. She had to solve it. Find a job pay him back , get out of his life again.
"Oh Thakur Mallick I am sorry" She thought, tiredly. Suddenly she was exhausted, her body finally catching up with all the last week of running around. Sugni fell asleep still wondering how to solve this...
Vickram came back down stars ten minutes later, showered and changed. This evening surely took a very unexpected and eventful turn. A part of him was wondering if this was all a crazy dream. The desperation and fear on her face though telling him that this was in fact happening.
He knew that at this hour they administration office might be closed, , but just in case he grabbed his check book. He knew she was worried and he would do all he could to help get her and her little girl out of this.
There was so much he wanted to talk to her about, but she was under a lot of stress and he did not want to add to it by bringing up the past. He herd more than enough for the evening!. She already been through enough and he did not want to bring it all back again. He hurt her enough already.
"ALL SET?" he said as he came back downstairs into the living room. He made his way to the living room he stopped as he looked at her . She was fast asleep sitting upright, her head back in an uncomfortable position. She must be exhausted! Walking toward her, he shook her lightly.
"Sugni?" yep she was dead to the world alright. Vickram looked at his watch. It was nine P.M. He was sure if there was any change in Shanti's condition they would call. He looked at Sugni the dark circles under her eyes, and he figured she could use all the rest she could get at this time.
He picked her up as he carried her upstairs to his room, he placed her in the bed, covering her with the comforter. She did not even stir once. Vickram sat at her side softly passing his fingers through her hair. He should not be touching her, but it he could not stop himself.
This was probably the last time he would be this close to her , he did not want to lose that. "Oh Sugni...I would do anything to make you happy again anything, even if that means staying away from you" he said. He would help her for sure, be here for her but as soon as Shanti got back to good health, Vickram would go back to respecting her wishes, and stay away from her.
Sugni came to him, not because of her feelings but because she was desperate, and judging from what happened earlier she fully expected him to take advantage of that. That hurt worse than if she had took a knife and stabbed him. Maybe he deserved it for betraying her, he would take it as his just punishment.
He spent a long time just watching her sleep, cherishing this time with her. After she was gone he could remember this with her here in the flesh instead of some lifeless photos. Eventually his eyes began closing down, as exhaustion also took its toll on him.
Getting up Vickram made his way to the small sofa at the other side of the room , where her lay down facing her, he looked at her until his eyes refused to stay open anymore and sleep over took him...
Edited by Vinnie79 - 11 years ago
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