Originally posted by: ambolove
I really respect your answer but don't agree with alot of it. In the realistic world it's not all candyfloss and cream. Divorces happen and children are ripped apart from parents who don't give a damn about their childrens feelings. Yes in serials we see children cement their parents relationship but not in the real world. In the real world people hate and have affairs. It's the balancing power of this world that we live in. I don't know about india but in the UK we have a thing called Social Services and millions of children arre displaced. I know many a family who have to travel long distances to see their children.
Why should children be the people to cement someone elses marriage? Why put such a heavy load/responsibility onto small shoulders?
If a marriage is going to work then it will work no matter what, they, the two people who married have to keep working on it.
I don't understand why Ovi should have custody over the child in the first place. She doesn't want the child. So why not place it into care? Either way both Arjun and Ovi will realise the importance of the child one way or another, sooner or later.
I totally agree with all posters that a divorce should happen but I beg the question, if Ovi was really against him talking to the ghost of Purvi and generally acting mental then why does she not file for a divorce? I don't see why it should be up to a MAN to give a divorce.
I certainly wouldn't want to come into this world with parents like Ovi and Arjun. Neither of them are mature enough to understand the greatest responsibility that they are about to undertake. Becoming parents.
Well, I wasn't saying that Divorces don't happen and the truth is the children are the truest victim in and when a divorce happens. What I was trying to say that inevitability children becomes the cement in a parent relationship. Most often than not, most couple will agree that after kids, their relationship got a whole new meaning. So, I was trying to say, that we do not know the actual stats. of how a kid has helped their parents and their marriage. Not that they have a burden or do something extraordinary. They, by their simple and innocent depended presence just changes their parents who otherwise couldn't change. With kids in the room, most parent will just control their actions and frustrations on their spouse and will be more willing to give themselves and their spouses chances, which otherwise couldn't happen either. Most parents will think twice before walking out on a marriage if there are kids involved... even in the cases of extramarital affairs. Even when a spouse feel extreme hate for their hubby, but may not feel that hate for the father/mother of their kids..The equation changes with a kid. This has been said from time immemorial.
Of course, if a kid is displaced after an abuse or if the parents are proved incapable of taking care of a kid, after divorce, they end up in a 'foster home' in the Western countries. In countries like India, where foster homes aren't there, kids from abuse or neglect are given to their closest relation (btw, that can happen in USA/Canada too, if the parent /parties involved wants). Now, in the case of Custody and this I suppose is universal from my knowledge of living in 3 different countries, moms gets easily the custody of infants and under-aged kids. Why, because the law determines that a mother is much more essential to a kid than the dad. The dad gets visitation rights and the duration to stay with the kids. But the dada will have to travel to see the kids, unless there are very real and defined reasons otherwise. It is easier for a mother to say that she will not travel because the kid will be distracted and stressed by such travels. Now, the Dad can get custody, only when he has proved that the mother is insane and can be abusive to the kid, and he is himself capable of taking care of that kid. In the case of Ovi, I am not sure, how she can be proved insane or abusive. She can be proved arrogant, short tempered but not abusive or neglecting. Her suicide attempts were not even recorded in a police case, so that can't be proved either. Whereas, Arjun's state of affair is much more easily proved and in fact his reputation can be tarnished completely, by the very fact that he had feeling for his saali, which is incest. Btw, I am not sure Arjun/purvi love affair will have much game changing affect in a court of law. The Law doesn't recognize a couple in love, rather a couple who is married. Now, if it is shown that Arjun had an affair after his marriage with saali and fathered a kid with his saali (also, note, there are no ways that accurately predict the day of s** with the saali and that it happened before marriage...no docs can accurately predict that- at most it is tentative), rather it will be predicted that he slept with his saali right after marrying or round the time of his marriage with the other sister and then impregnating his wife after a public declaration, so how will Arjun get custody of their kids, where his very character is a public ridicule.
Now, about the maturity and taking care of kids. Sadly, the court doesn't decide who is capable of taking care of kids, even in case of teenage pregnancy. They assume that the mother is, unless there are strong reasons not to give her custody. At least, that is what I know. I have seen teenagers preggo in USA, and their mothers supporting them. It is a struggle. Besides, if the Court jumps in and start taking care of such kids, their financial state will need a constant bail out.
Anyway, this is my POV...
Edited by Kalapi - 13 years ago
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