Time to heal - Page 2

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DiVa

@Dihiva

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: BHAVI1972

Ditto Hima 👍🏼. Me too if i can not earn how can i eat despite being a woman of a subcontinent where to dwell on husband's money is every wife's right.😉 😛
On serious note - smarter the person it takes longer for him to get out of his guilt but as you said we have to divert our thought process somehow. How we do that is totally dependent on our upbringing, our surrounding and help from family. But for sure drinking and playing cards will make it worst.

The more you interact with family, the more pain it gives.. So, basically, what I feel is obvious here is isolation from everyone.. in terms of physical contact and then work inwards!! Best way to do it is to work.. where you interact with strangers who do not know you and will gradually help you gain the confidence back.. slowly, the guilt has to vanish.. I think a spiritual bent of mind is very important to totally get rid of the guilt! Detachment along with keeping yourself busy will help!

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: snmalik4
But for sure drinking and playing cards will make it worst.

Also hearing Taanas from your brother Every Single day

I believe hearing taanas from a brother will make it worst since he is too used to it now. If he does not hear it he can not digest his foods.

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: hima2012

The more you interact with family, the more pain it gives.. So, basically, what I feel is obvious here is isolation from everyone.. in terms of physical contact and then work inwards!! Best way to do it is to work.. where you interact with strangers who do not know you and will gradually help you gain the confidence back.. slowly, the guilt has to vanish.. I think a spiritual bent of mind is very important to totally get rid of the guilt! Detachment along with keeping yourself busy will help!

Spiritual bent of mind is helpful but i don't think people with this attitude and set of mind would go that way.

But for sure going out and speaking with people will help.

Detachment from family - not sure how that will help since he needs a support system.

Speaking to people outside - i believe will only infuse more of the inferiority complex in him. When he finds people of his age more successful. But friends and family together can help him out. However he has to decide and speak it out that he needs help.

The moment he is ready to accept help he will be again back in race. (MY POV)

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: shweta_r
Bhavi, I think it would vary from individual to individual... some people are more emotional that others...

For the same result, say - failure in an exam, someone can commit suicide and someone else could behave as if nothing happened..

Therefore it depends on an individual, people around him/her, circumstances etc etc...

Is there something called co-efficient of restitution for humans? 🤔 If yes, KC will score very low on that

Agree Shweta that every person is different and co-efficient of restitution is low for KC.

Getting back to Failure in life - He did overcome it once though with the help of his wife. So he had the capacity and the strength to do it but he chose not to. Not even for his love for his son.

Instead he took the short cut and turned his back towards the reality of life and embrace the vices.

It is a personal choice which depends on lot many factors. The big question here is - how long can we cry on the spilled milk?

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saratha

@Drivemecracy

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

good post...u rightly said 9 years is a big time one can got over from the grief...even abhay lost his entire family but he has learned to live for the child which is not his...truly i cant understand what exactly his problem is...it lookslike he used to live in this lifestyle... the family have to give a shock treatment...if gaurav stop paying anands school fee thn he will automatically work for his son...but here veena mata searching reasons to scold her dil for her sons velagiri...

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: sarakvp
good post...u rightly said 9 years is a big time one can got over from the grief...even abhay lost his entire family but he has learned to live for the child which is not his...truly i cant understand what exactly his problem is...it lookslike he used to live in this lifestyle... the family have to give a shock treatment...if gaurav stop paying anands school fee thn he will automatically work for his son...but here veena mata searching reasons to scold her dil for her sons velagiri...

Now that is one good point you brought here. Shock treatment from family-👏.

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jay_bpm

@jay_bpm

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Bhavi I too am baffled as how can a human being take so much. I even made a post on that.

9 years is very long time.

But at the same time I agree with Shweta. It sure depends on individual as well. I have said few times KC is very complicated character. He really does seem completely broke from inside. I sense dark emptiness inside him where he's not able to see anything at all.

Such people are rare to find. KC cares more about what his loved ones than anyone else. And his wife sure meant to him everything. If he can't save one person that matters most to him; what good is he as a person; that's what he feels.

I know an individual who intentionally failed 12th science exam and walked proudly to get mark-sheet of 0 in every subject. But inappropriate joke from his brother; guy was not able to eat or sleep properly for 2 weeks and remained in bad mood for months. Very rare but they are.

But I still want or hope for more answers from the story. Just 2 mirror scenes are not enough for me. Even if he is shattered; still can't spend 9 years playing PSP, cards and drinking. So I am still not able to understand what took place here.

Was it shown just for hack of it or there is a purpose?

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Salman

@TheBhai

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

I Like what John Abraham did to Akki in Desi Boyz where Akshay had to save his nephew and get his custody but was unable to do so as he did not had money and due to recession did not had a job. So temporarily the custody was taken away from him and he joined the college again to get back his degree so he can get a decent job and bring back hi nephew.

Gaurav should have done same with Kunal. Its a tuff decision and will create differences in the begining but eventually it will good for everyone.

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ramya

@rainbowgirl

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

Good post Bhavi 👍🏼, there are lot of people who heal in a couple of days and there are some people who take more time to get healed but after certain amount of time most of them do get healed from their wounds. Rare exceptions, there are few odd ones who's heals never get healed but after sometime they put up the mask of normality and get by their life surviving each day as it comes.

Kunal chopra falls under those odd number of people who can't let go of his wound coz he feels more remorsefull than hurt. Its that deep guilt that's imbibed in him which stops him to move forward in life, He feels that due to him siddhi got put behind bars. when she's in jail going through tough time he feels that he doesn't deserve to move forward in life, hence the vela and drinking. 🤢

He might have tried to give up drinking and given a shot at doing some sort of work to be a responsible father but his guilt pulls him back . He refuses to let go his wounds subconsciously coz he feels that he needs to see the marks of his failure to remind him from enjoying life with his son when siddhi is lonely in some dark dingy cell i guess me writing this is weird 😛coz since the show took the leap i've been ranting on kunal's irresponsible behavior and a failed father figure. 😡

End of the day, you need to move on if you like it or not, the self pity party has to end some day. 😉

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bhavis

@bhavis

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: rainbowgirl
Good post Bhavi 👍🏼, there are lot of people who heal in a couple of days and there are some people who take more time to get healed but after certain amount of time most of them do get healed from their wounds. Rare exceptions, there are few odd ones who's heals never get healed but after sometime they put up the mask of normality and get by their life surviving each day as it comes.

Kunal chopra falls under those odd number of people who can't let go of his wound coz he feels more remorsefull than hurt. Its that deep guilt that's imbibed in him which stops him to move forward in life, He feels that due to him siddhi got put behind bars. when she's in jail going through tough time he feels that he doesn't deserve to move forward in life, hence the vela and drinking. 🤢

He might have tried to give up drinking and given a shot at doing some sort of work to be a responsible father but his guilt pulls him back . He refuses to let go his wounds subconsciously coz he feels that he needs to see the marks of his failure to remind him from enjoying life with his son when siddhi is lonely in some dark dingy cell i guess me writing this is weird 😛coz since the show took the leap i've been ranting on kunal's irresponsible behavior and a failed father figure. 😡

End of the day, you need to move on if you like it or not, the self pity party has to end some day. 😉

I do agree he is the odd one out. So does it mean that he need some medical/psychologists help to recover from his sickness in name of failure.

Edited by BHAVI1972 - 13 years ago