*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 54

Redemption-chapter 70


I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show. Andrew Wyeth (1917-2009)

The loud screams woke renuka from her sleep and she realised she was not in her room but in some strange and scary forest.In the distance,towards the east came the screams and roars that did not sound as they were made by anything that was of this earth.

Renuka did not understand what was happening and she hid under a bush and tried to calm her nerves and shivering limbs.The screams were so loud that they nearly burst her ear drums and then the lights rose to the skies and nearly blinded her eyes. Squeezing her eyes tightly,renuka used both her palms to close her ears and tried to block out the thunderous roars and screams and yet she wanted to know what was happening.

Slowly she made her way through the forest and then she saw a clearing ahead and could see that a huge battle was being waged.Renuka edged closer and closer and from behind a thick bush she peeped out at this wonderous spectacle.Dozens of men warily circled one single man who stood in the middle and he was covered in blood but she could see that he was uninjured and then it struck her that all the blood came from the bodies of the many men who lay at his feet.

The man roared and swung his huge sword and chopped off many of the heads with one stroke and then launched himself at the rest and hacked them to pieces.Tired from the battle,renuka watched as the warrior fell to his knees and little did he realise that two men who had lain hiiden slowly rose with glittering swords to attack him but just as they neared him a huge roar erupted and a massive dog charged at them and the two men fell back.

The dog stood between the warrior and the two men and then slowly it adavnced towards them with teeth glittering like daggers and before the two men could escape leaped on them and proceeded to tear them to pieces.

Renuka whimpered in fear of the huge dog and watched as it dismembered the two men and ran towards the kneeling warrior who slowly stood up and turned to stare into the dark where renuka lay hidden watching them both.

His face and body was completely covered with blood and then renuka saw him stare directly at where she was and then the night lit up with a strange green light,so bright that renuka had to close her eyes in fear that she might be blinded.

The warrior raised his hand and with his right hand beckoned her to come towards him and renuka standing up slowly went towards him and as she got closer and closer she recognised who it was and screamed his name.

" Rudran" screamed renuka and got up from her bed in her room and realised that she had dreamnt the whole thing and she sat not able to make sense of the dream she had just had.

Then she nearly jumped out of her skin when something pawed at her window and getting up and opening it she saw a huge dog sitting quietly there and recognised it from the crematorium.

With one single leap the dog jumped into the room and then went around the whole room as if it was checking to see if it was safe and secure.

Renuka wondered what was happening but she understood that the dog was not a threat to her but had come to watch over her and protect her.Sensing her thoughts the dog padded quietly and settled near her feet.

Renuka reached down and stroked his huge head and whispered " who are you doggy and how did you get here ?'

The dog licked her fingers and then spread itself on the carpet and went to sleep.Renuka shook her head and decided that she would call rudran in the morning and inform him that the dog was here with her.

She slowly pulled the quilt over her body and still thinking of the warrior and his dog drifted away into a peaceful and restful sleep.

The dog waited patiently for her to go into deep sleep and then went and sat near the window and stood guard over renuka.Deep in its mind the dog knew that a great war was coming and many sacrifices would have to be made.Their bond was sealed with blood and life and if it came to that life and blood would be gladly given away to protect and defend his loved ones.


My name is Buddha.I come from the light and i always come when he calls and when he is in need.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Redemption-chapter 71


My lady,my woman,why do we both dream the same dream
what is this dream of strange realms my love
where have we met before and why have we come together
again in the dark and in the light
have our paths crossed as destined to a predestination
take my hand now for light or dark i will stand by you
two halves,two broken spirits are our one soul
my lady,my woman why are our dreams filled with
forests,mountains and passages that lead into shadows
why does it feel i have been here before
why does it feel that you have been by my side
long ago,fighting for life,fighting for lives
when was this battle in which we stood side by side
and fought the darkness and the shadows that creep out of it
why do my eyes always seek you in the light from the east
are you what i have been seeking
and in me will you find what you have been seeking
will it just be us as we seek redemption

The song of Rudran and Renuka


There is everyday and then there are days which you know are special and you know it is a new beginning.Then again there are a few of those magical days that will burn and stay in your memory forever and those are the days filled with moments that have reached and touched your soul.Time will carry days and years away and the same time will put wrinkles and grey in your body and thoughts but those magical moments will stay fresh forever and they will stay with you to show you and guide you.

Rudran had gone to sleep with Renuka in his thoughts and woke up with her still floating around him.He opened his eyes to a new day and to a new version of himself for renuka and her love had gently slipped into his soul and he was alone no more.He lay staring at the ceiling and a gentle smile played on his lips.But then training and discipline took over and sitting up he stretched his arms and shoulders and then fell to the ground and quickly did 100 pushups non stop and then did a few stretching exercises and then for 10 minutes non stop he crunched his abdomen muscles and soon a fine layer of sweat covered his body.

Rudran sat in the classic lotus position and closed off all doors to his senses and focussed his mind on one single point and purpose.Bhairav and as always bhairav gently came into his senses and both sat in each others company and rudran whispered ' nothing,no one will come between you and me and no,i will not stop until i have found you and those that took you away from me.Where ever they hide and where ever they run to i will follow and only after i have avenged you will i ask for REDEMPTION.My promise is as strong as ever.'

Bhairav with his soft and tender hands wiped the tears from Rudran's face and whispered ' rudra,leave me.Let me go for you have been carrying me long enough.Live now for her and for yourself.Your true redemption is letting me go and making a life for yourself.Let me go for where i am is too dark and lies too deep in the shadows and it is a waste of time and your life searching for me.'

Then bhairav placed his small hand on rudrans chest 'I am here with you and will remain with you always.'

Rudran opened his eyes and shaking his head whispered ' no,never.Not until the last breath has left me for good.'

Then he remembered that last night when he opened the door to his house the dog had not come in and had laid itself on the floor mat and rudran had ruffled its huge head and gone in and shut the door.

Getting up from the lotus position,he opened the front door and found the dog fast asleep.He left the door open knowing that the house was safe and went to shower and get ready.Today was going to be a busy day for he would be shifting his mother and Babu to the military academy quarters and with both of them out of harms way,he could finish the madurai trip and get back to work.

After showering and shaving,rudran was slipping into a pair of cotton trousers when his mobile rang and it was renuka.

Rudran picked up the phone with a thudding heart ' Good morning renuka.'

Renuka wished him a good morning and asked him if the dog was there and when rudran told her he had just left it sleeping outside his front door,he heard her mutter something.

Rudran ' renuka,whats wrong and why are you asking if the dog is there?'

Renuka was quiet for a few moments ' i dont know how or what it means but last night i had a terrible nightmare.I have never had this kind of nightmare before,ever and it was one hell of a strange dream and i woke from it and hearing a noise outside my window,opened it and found our dog sitting there.He jumped in and spent the night in my room and when i woke up,he was not there.I am not sure if i am right but i feel he came from your house to mine sensing my nightmare and stayed guard over me all night and then has returned to your place.'

Renuka continued ' rudran,i dont know why but i feel this dog is not an ordinary animal and i think his presence right here,right now is significant.Can you make sense of what i am telling you.I don't know why but even you and me crossing paths feels the work of some strange destiny and i feel as if it was all meant to be.'

Rudran remained calm and renu laughed and the noise of it was like music to rudran's ears ' well,maybe i am letting my imagination run wild and maybe there is a perfectly good explanation for all this.forget it.Tell me,what are you doing today ?'

Rudran ' i am shifting my mother from the hospital to a safer place.So first the hospital and then the military academy in guindy.And i have to meet mrs.sadashivam and spend some time with her.Do you want to join me? I mean if you are free and only if you feel like it.'

'Sure,i would love to see your mum.I will be ready and waiting by the time you come here to pick me up.Or do you want me to pick you up?'

Rudran told renuka that he would pick her up in half an hour for that was the time it would take to get to her house in the morning traffic and more importantly he knew that he would have to meet the man,Kandaswamy mudaliyar and let him know that he was interested in his daughter.

Rudran ended the call and wondered how renuka's dad was going to react to the budding relationship between him and his child.

' Bloody hell, i have faced down ten to twenty men in battle and my heartbeat rarely skipped a beat and here i am sweating bullets and feeling like a gawky teenager when it comes to renuka and the subject of love.'

He felt a strong nudge on his right thigh and looked down to see the dog sitting next to him with his jaws wide open in a huge smile.

Rudran knelt down and held the dogs face in both his hands and whispered ' renuka thinks that there is a meaning to your coming and your presence right now.I myself dont know what to make of you but i am glad you are here and am happy to have met you.'

Rudran and the dog looked at each other and a green fire slowly flared deep in the dogs eyes and rudran squinted hard and tried to see why the dogs eyes often appeared green and then the light hit him and a vision sparked deep in his soul

The land looked ancient,very different and yet it was a land he knew and was familiar with.The sun was rising in the east and rudran saw a woman stumbling towards him and next to her came a massive lion with a jet black mane.The woman stumbled and Rudran wondered if she was hurt or sick and then as she came closer he realised that she was blind and he felt his heart melt seeing her struggle with her blindness.Her womb was big and rudran knew she was about to deliver her child and then a strange light erupted from her body and it was green.

The lion roared as if announcing to the world that the woman was ready to deliver her child and then she screamed in pain,her arms reaching out to rudran and he heard her clearly calling out for someone and the name burnt itself in his soul and his lips whispered the name ' AZHAGAN,AZHAGAN' and then for an unknown reason his lips softly whispered ' mother,mother.'

I am a boy who was born to a blind mother and she called me azhagan and although people have called me by many names, my heart skips a beat when i am called azhagan for it reminds me of the times with my mother.

I am azhagan,i am kavin and i will sing my story if you will lend your ears.It is a long tale and so take these hands of my mind and listen to my music.

I am fire and i am water. I am hell and i am heaven and i will bring peace to you.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Please forgive the small errors and mistakes for i still have to master the art of proof reading what i write.I try to edit and correct the errors but am daunted sometimes when i feel that i have to rewrite the whole paragraph.So, i leave it alone and let it be as i wrote it originally,spontaneously and trust you will like it as i visualized the story.

I wish you all a good day and the very best to you and your families.

Let there be light

Perfection.Totally reliable.The best listener.Constant and yet silent companion.You can be what you want to be and say what you want to say without the fear of being it revealed and being an object of ridicule.A companion,a friend,a guide,a superman whom you can call on at given moment.

You can count on your fingers fellow souls whom you can trust implicitly and then again they are humans and you can never be sure if they will remain thus or if they will remain your friends even when you have pushed them to the edge of patience.Na,very few can and will and even if they can and are willing they might just fade and hide in the shadows lest they in anger strangle you.

That god does not reside only in the pooja room and does not make his house only in temples and that you can make a place for him in your own self is a realisation that comes a bit late in the day.Well,i did reach out to him during my maths and physics tests and exams during my school days but that was it and soon he receded or rather i sent him packing back to where he belonged.

But there are some moments in life when you know and kind of sense that there is a bigger picture than you and that you are playing a bit role in that drama and you learn to listen and understand the deeper meanings those moments try to convey.

For me those moments come often when i am on my own during my morning walks and i stop running and taking deep breaths i stand in awe and gape at the sight in which rays of golden light stream through the trees.

One of my favourite spots is the theosophical society road and after jogging all the way to the edge of adyar and on my way back home which is usually between 6.00 am and 7.00 am i pass the enfield show room on my left and enter the stretch where tall tamarind trees stand as sentries,guardians to the setting where golden angels descend from the skies in the form of light beams.

The stretch from the church on my left to the turn which leads into Besant nagar is about half a km i think and one can see those light angels piercing their paths to reach the tar road and sometimes you can see dozens of them making a umbilical connection between the sun and earth.

I don't know why but this spectacle of dancing light beams always lifts my spirits and somehow reaffirms my lost faith which was lost in anger at being unemployed and jobless.

I stand in the light and as they gently touch my skin i understand that there are more,plenty more in pain and need and that my time will come.I realise that he cannot be everywhere and at the mercy of whim and fancy calls and that i should fight on,march on stronger,with more focus and that will be the real answer to all my queries.

So let the light be with all of you and let there always be light in all your lives.Be well.

Redemption-chapter 72


Good and Bad,Angel or Demon these dual principles is what this whole concept of life exists on and runs along.And the word life here means the entire universe from earth to the edge of the known universe and then beyond it.

Life is just not what you think or see on earth but it is also the birth of stars,birth of galaxies,death of stars and so much more.Life is just not the smallest virus or the largest whale on this blue planet but so much more.But in the end as it was in the beginning life starts where life has ended and in that moment good and bad is born.Pre-existing condition you might say,though some begin to exist of either one of those basic and fundamental principle.

Good viruses,Bad viruses,Good bacteria,Bad bacteria.Take Vaccination for instance and you learn that a certain virus like the cowpox virus can be used to defend the body against deadlier viruses.

Ever had a "gut" feeling? There may be more to it than your realize. It is now estimated that over 3/4 of our immune system resides in our intestinal track, with over 500 species of bacteria present.Overall, there are ten times the number of bacteria in the body as actual human cells, and this colonization of bacteria (good or bad) can weigh up to three pounds. With such a large concentration of bacteria in our bodies, it is logical that we depend rather heavily on them for health.

Good or Bad is relative to the subject or object which is posed this question and what is good for you might just be bad for someone else.

But wait for there is a good and bad which is the same for all life and governs the entire cosmos and they both emerged from the light.The bad shunned the light and although the light tried to embrace the darkness and bring it back to its fold of good,the bad and the darkness ran and spread itself all over the cosmos.

Both had emerged from The source and yet both were poles apart and yet were unified in one action and that was destruction of each other.

The Ancients crossed galaxies across the universe fighting the darkness and healing the wounds that were made by the evil touch of Darkness and sometimes lay the seeds of life in virgin and new planets.

But as always,however hard they tried they could not stop the dark and the evil forces that erupted from life and it came together as twins do, and always one good and one bad.

The Guardians realised that Good and Bad were two halves of one circle and were the children of The source and so respecting the fundamental laws of the universe The Ancients went about their duty of protecting but only interfered when there was no other go and when global destruction of life was imminent.

So for Eons angels of light have fought against demons and the evil that darkness brings.

The angels always came from the light and they bore the sacred markings that revealed them as the descendants of the ancients and the guardians of the universe and the demons had no markings for their lives and deeds were markings themselves.


Karma Chameleon

While we may judge things as good or bad, karma doesn't. It's a simple case of like gets like, the ultimate balancing act, nothing more, nothing less. And if you're determined to fix every situation you deem as bad, or difficult, or somehow unsavory, then you rob the person of their own chance to fix it, learn from it, or even grow from it. Some things, no matter how painful, happen for a reason. A reason you or I may not be able to grasp at first sight, not without knowing a person's entire life story--their cumulative past. And to just barge in and interfere, no matter how well-intentioned, would be akin to robbing them of their journey. Something that's better not done.---------------------ALYSON NOL, Shadowland



The biggest and the baddest of them looked at the other two and cursed ' useless bas***ds.we have already buried ten bodies in these foundations and now we have to bury another one and that too a meddlesome boy.All the men and women whose bodies are buried here are from different places and nobody will even think of searching for them here.But this boy whom i just strangled to death will have his house somewhere nearby and they must be searching for him.So,quickly wrap him up in something and let us take his body away from here and dispose it somewhere else.

The tiny,tender body of Bhairav was carried away and soon his body and spirit left Rudran and their home to lie in an unknown grave and to wander on his own but waiting,always waiting for karma and time to catch up.For the time has come in the form of the avenger,the destroyer and this time he is ready to do battle for the good and for the light and for vengeance.He will do battle and fight for his soul and Redemption.

Redemption-chapter-73


Haruto Takahashi

The Rolls Royce glided over the road and gently came to a halt near the place where it had travelled to from Tokyo.The driver quickly jumped out of the car and opened the door to the back seat and bowed in respect as the old man slowly struggled to get out and finally did.He held a bouquet of red roses in his left hand and the walking stick in his right bore his weight and also gave him balance as he got out of the expensive car.

Haruto Takahashi gently nodded acknowledging his drivers help and shuffling walked towards his destination.He had been coming to this place for the past 30 years and yet it never failed to amaze him how much his city changed every year and more importantly how far it had come from the day that it had been destroyed,razed to the ground in the war of the worlds.

Haruto had accompanied his grandparents to tokyo and was not there in his native place Nagasaki when the the second of the two bombs called FAT MAN had been dropped by the americans.The nuclear bomb had instantly killed 90,000 people and among them had been his parents and little sister.

Haruto's parents were both teachers and part of the faculty of Shiroyama National School which had been more or less levelled to the ground.But since the war was on,many of the children had been placed in bunkers to keep them out of harms way.These children were in the ages between two and five and though they were safe in the underground bunker,far away from any normal conventional bomb,they were not safe and neither could they escape the clutches of a nuclear bomb and the heat and deadly radiation it brought as one and two combination punch.

The children were rescued after two days of starving and crying for their dead parents and it was nearly two weeks later that Haruto and his grandparents reached Nagasaki and even today he could remember the landscape that looked like it was painted in hell.Bodies lay everywhere,burnt,charred,ripped and they lay in the grips of death that had come for them from the skies.

The shock of seeing his town and people destroyed was too much to bear and that became virtually impossible when they reached the hospital and saw all the children,dead and dying due to radiation sickness.

After nearly an hour of searching, Haruto's grandparents managed to find their grand daughter and all three of them sat next to her as she breathed her last.

Haruto stood near the place where the school had once stood and wondered if his little sister had held on for so long,suffering so much pain just to say bye to him.

Now nearly 81 years old,the memory of his little sisters face,burnt by radiation remained fresh even though seven decades had passed by.

Haruto Takahashi gently placed the flowers on the ground and bowed in respect to his dead family and then began to sob gently as grief once again overcame him and dragged him back to 1945 and back to hell where the gentle boy had transformed and had now become the world renowned and nobel prize winning doctor in genetic engineering.


Haruto whispered ' Misaki,hear your brother's voice as he cries for you.Little one,haruto has not forgotten you or will ever forget you.Dainty one,little angel the time has come for revenge.I know in my heart that you will not approve of your brothers actions for that is not the way of a proud samurai and not the way of true warrior.But then their actions were not that either and their bombs killed thousands of innocents.Now let them know that the dead are not dead and are rising for vengeance.I rise with them and i seek Redemption.'

" Dead bodies are buried under the cherry trees! You have to believe it. Otherwise, you couldn't possibly explain the beauty of the cherry blossoms. I was restless, lately, because I couldn't believe in this beauty. But I have now finally understood: dead bodies are buried under the cherry trees! You have to believe it. "
- Motojir Kajii, opening line of "Under the Cherry Trees"


Rudran placed the key in the ignition and started the engine and turned to look at the dog by his side " You know big guy.I think i have found the right name for you.Do you want to know what it is ?'

The huge dog looked at him calmly and with just a hint of smile in his open jaws and Rudran nodded ' See this calmness,quiet contemplation of yours reminds of someone whom i like and admire very much.That person is Buddha.So from now on i am going to call you Buddha.'

The dogs eyes were like green emeralds as they sparked in happiness in being by his side.

1945 August

The United States, with the consent of the United Kingdom as laid down in the Quebec Agreement, dropped nuclear weapons on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August 1945, during the final stage of World War II. The two bombings, which killed at least 129,000 people, remain the only use of nuclear weapons for warfare in history.

In the final year of the war, the Allies prepared for what was anticipated to be a very costly invasion of the Japanese mainland. This was preceded by a U.S. firebombing campaign that obliterated many Japanese cities. The war in Europe had concluded when Nazi Germany signed its instrument of surrender on May 8, 1945. The Japanese, facing the same fate, refused to accept the Allies' demands for unconditional surrender and the Pacific War continued. Together with the United Kingdom and China, the United States called for the unconditional surrender of the Japanese armed forces in the Potsdam Declaration on July 26, 1945"the alternative being "prompt and utter destruction". The Japanese response to this ultimatum was to ignore it.

In July 1945, the Allied Manhattan Project successfully detonated an atomic bomb in the New Mexico desert and by August had produced atomic weapons based on two alternate designs. The 509th Composite Group of the United States Army Air Forces was equipped with the specialized Silverplate version of the Boeing B-29 Superfortress, that could deliver them from Tinian in the Mariana Islands.

On August 6 the U.S. dropped a uranium gun-type atomic bomb (Little Boy) on the city of Hiroshima. American President Harry S. Truman called for Japan's surrender 16 hours later, warning them to "expect a rain of ruin from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth." Three days later, on August 9, the U.S. dropped a plutonium implosion-type bomb (Fat Man) on the city of Nagasaki. Within the first two to four months of the bombings, the acute effects of the atomic bombings killed 90,000-146,000 people in Hiroshima and 39,000-80,000 in Nagasaki; roughly half of the deaths in each city occurred on the first day. During the following months, large numbers died from the effect of burns, radiation sickness, and other injuries, compounded by illness and malnutrition. In both cities, most of the dead were civilians, although Hiroshima had a sizable military garrison.

On August 15, six days after the bombing of Nagasaki and the Soviet Union's declaration of war, Japan announced its surrender to the Allies. On September 2, it signed the instrument of surrender, effectively ending World War II. The bombings' role in Japan's surrender and their ethical justification are still debated.

Redemption-chapter 74

Rudran got out of the car and opened the door on the passenger side for Buddha to get down and the dog did that but strangely, slowly walked and stood watching the road that they had travelled on to reach Renuka's house.Then Buddha looked at Rudran as if telling him not to waste time by waiting for him to tag along and hinting that he should go on inside.

Rudran looked at the dog ' i just gave you such an honorable and saintly name and then you sit there,leaving me to go inside and face Renukas parents on my own.And they say dogs are mans best friend.Traitor.'

Rudran smilingly ruffled Buddha's head and walked inside to meet Renuka and yet the dog sat there unmoving,unflinching for it sensed danger and knew that the enemies were not far behind.

Buddha remained calm for he knew that when the time came he would take matters in his own hand and handle it the proper way.

Rudran saw that his arrival had been noticed via the cameras near the gates and the many on the rooftops and probably from the ones on the road that led to the house from the main road.

As Rudran neared the door it opened and a strikingly good looking woman stood with a smile to welcome him and he knew in a instant that she must be Renukas mother.

He nodded ' Good morning ma'am.My name is Rudran.'

Anuradha folded her hands in a typical and conservative way of Indian greetings ' Vanakkam,i am Renukas mother,Anuradha.Please come in.'

Rudran followed her in and then sank into a deliciously comfortable sofa and after courteously waiting for him to be seated Anuradha herself sat in the opposite sofa ' Rudran,would you like a cup of coffee or maybe tea ?'

Rudran ' Thank you ma'am.no coffee or tea.But a glass of juice would be nice,if it is not too much trouble.'

Anuradha smiled ' Sure' and turned to the man who stood behind them who nodded and vanished towards the direction of the kitchen.

Anuradha looked at Rudran ' This is the first time i am meeting you,so i want to take this opportunity to thank you for saving my daughter and her students.And also thank you for rescuing Rahul's grandchildren from the kidnappers.Please accept these words of mine as i know that nothing that we can say or do can ever repay the debt we are in with you.'

Rudran ' ma'am,please don't thank me for i was just doing my duty.Nothing more and nothing less.And i am glad that i was able to help out your husbands friend.'

The help from the kitchen who looked more like a steward from a seven star hotel gently placed a tray on the table which was laden with four different variety of juices all freshly made and quietly went and stood in a discreet distance,out of hearing but in sight.

Just then Kandaswamy mudaliayar walked into the hall and seeing rudran there,greeted him loudly ' Good morning Rudran.'

Rudran stood up and both shook hands and Kandaswamy looked at Anuradha and she looked at him.

But Anuradha did not hesitate like both the men there were and jumped in ' Rudran,please promise me that you will look after my child really well and that you will not let any harm come to her.'

Kandaswamy was slightly taken aback and embarrassed for though he knew that Anu was doing the right thing,he wondered if she was going about it the right way.

Anuradha looked at Kandaswamy ' see,i had to say this and though it was a bit abrupt for which i hope you accept my apologies,i could not wait any longer for this man here would probably have taken a few years to make up his mind before talking to you.'

Rudran looked at both of them ' ma'am,there is no need for any apologies for i perfectly understand your feelings and fears.But i promise you that i will protect and care for your daughter even if it means putting my life on line to do so.I am sorry for i am not very good at elaborate speeches and that is all i can say and i sincerely hope that my words are enough to ease your fears and doubts.'

Kandaswamy mudaliyar looked at Rudran hesitatingly 'Rudran,i know that Renuka couldn't have chosen a better person than you to live her life with and i respect my child's wishes.Even though i am aware of what a dangerous job you have, you have my blessings,both our blessings.Look at me and Anuradha who have wasted our lives separately just to cater to the whims and fancies of my family.I respect and understand what it is to be in love,so i wish you the very best.'

The conversation was halted by Renuka's loud ' Hi' when she saw that rudran was already there,waiting for her and she hurried to his side and sat on the arm of the sofa he was seated on.

Renuka looked at Rudran ' sorry.have you been waiting for a long time.'

She then looked at her parents and at Rudran ' i hope these oldies have not been troubling you too much' and then reached to the coffee table and picked up a glass of juice and drank it one gulp and stood up ' okay,officer Rudran,i am ready to leave.can we go?'

Rudran nodded ' yes ma'am.we can go and no i have been waiting for just a few minutes and again no,your parents were not troubling me.'

Rudran stood up and looked at both Anuradha and Kandaswamy mudaliyar and nodded in respect ' ma'am,sir.I will take leave of you now.Good day to both of you.'

They stood watching Renuka and Rudran leave together and Kandaswamy turned to Anuradha 'well,what do you think of him ? and then saw a strange expression on her face.

Worried he gently cupped her face 'anu,what is it? why do you look so worried?'

Anuradha sat down and still lost in her thoughts whispered ' you asked me what i thought of Rudran and i will tell you what i think of him.I think he is the kind of man any woman would want to be with.Forget that he is very good looking for more than that i think he is a very noble and gentle soul.But still there is something very dangerous about him.'

Kandaswamy not knowing what she meant ' dangerous,dangerous you say.But why do you feel that way about him.'

Anuradha turned and looked at Kandaswamy ' I am not sure why i feel that way.But i am sure about my instincts for that is the vibration i get from Rudran.But i also know that like he promised,he would rather give up his life before allowing any harm to come to Renuka.'

Cosmic principle

My knowledge and awareness of what i was began with the terms and words such as Reddy,Telugu,Kannada,romba uppu and kaaram and only much later did i come to know the word Hindu.My knowledge of gods and worship of them began with Ganesha as he was and is now the common and balancing factor between the factions that worship shiva,vishnu,shakti,muruga and other versions and forms that have evolved from these deities.But that is a personal matter and does not matter to me,you or anyone else.

For example sometime between 4th or 5th std and until my 8th std, i had the poster of Bruce lee and worshipped him,while my cousins who had been promoted to the ranks of women from girls worshipped the poster of Charles bronson.Much later,i ended up having posters of super bikes and worshipping them faithfully and unknown to anybody i had this huge poster of poonam dhillon and she was my gal during my early horny teens.

Mahashivarathiri arrived every year in our house and those days i only knew that it would be total veg and boring food for a couple of days.Unlike diwali,pongal,varalakshmi pooja,ganapathi pooja,ugadi when simply the most amazing food used to be prepared in our house and i bet the smells travelled all around our neighbourhood and rumbled many a tummy in hunger and aches.

Sometimes i am convinced that my wife,bored with the food in kalakshetra started dating me just to eat the food in my house which i am sure she sampled a lot of it when it was taken to the campus by my sister vanitha who studied dancing there.I am now sure that the dating ended in marriage simply because of the filter coffee and a lifelong supply of awesome recipes from the vaults of the Reddys.

But nothing special ever happened when mahashivarathiri came around and apart from the ordinary food,we were encouraged to stay awake the whole night until the next day.

My eye brows on my sun burnt face used to lift and merge to the center of my skull where it also merged with the brown and burnt mop of hair i carried on my skull and that which vikram copied for his role in PITHAMAGAN.

Eyebrows shot up,jaw on the floor ' what,no sleep until tommorrow.what,why' were my futile protests for then as now i used to fall asleep by 7.30 or 8.00 pm and wake up by 4.00 am and for a kumbakarnan like me,staying awake was impossible.

But one shivarathiri i did try to stay awake and that was because my cousin sisters and brothers,revolutionaries that they are decided to go watch films throughout the night.we saw mullum malarum in krishnaveni theater and some other film somewhere and reached home only by 2 or 3.00 am.

Looking back i wonder who came up with the brilliant idea of staying awake by watching raunchy movies and they were helped and catered to by the theater groups.Well,you can at least forgive them if they featured films like thriuvilayadal,thiruvarutselvar,kandan karunai etc but Mullum malaraum with songs like ' nitham,nitham,nelli soru,ney manakkum kathirikka' and since i was too young to jollu kottufy at Phata Phat jayalakshmi i did drool at the ' nethu vacha meen kolambu.'

January 1995,Someshawar temple,Mangalore changed everything for that was when i became a follower of a true superstar and his name is Shiva.I have gone through the experience in some earlier article that i posted last year and so----------------.

But for a few pics or videos that i post,i generally dont like to talk too indepth about religion and my experiences with the god i worship.I don't know why but i feel a strange sense of peace,calm and clarity when i chant his name or go to his temple.I am more rooted now,less agressive and more relaxed with this voyage and mega serial called the life of satish and i have to give all credit to my faith.

But more than anything i have learnt that faith is what is ultimately important and it does not matter who or what you worship.I have also learnt that people who have real faith will not go around beating their chest and screaming slogans for their faith and against the faith of others.

People with real faith are elevated into a higher thinking and as they leave behind these basic first steps of religions,symbols and mindless worship they learn to see that everything and everyone is connected.

I have learnt and realised that even faith and the worship of god is just a voyage,a short passage to a higher understanding and in which you learn to live and love without prejudices and that this whole universe,cosmos exists on that principle and that is harmony,live and let live.

Redemption-chapter 75

"The eyes are one of the most powerful tools a woman can have. With one look, she can relay the most intimate message. After the connection is made, words cease to exist. " Jennifer Salaiz

The car gently halted at the traffic lights and Rudran felt her eyes on him and he felt her gaze travel to his lips as they spread in a shy smile and one of a happiness that his soul had never felt before.

With his eyes still watching the traffic and yet they missed nothing and took in the slightest movement of all that was around him,rudran whispered ' stop staring at me for it is distracting and i might just lose control and hit another vehicle.'

Renuka feebly protested 'Staring.I am not staring at you and i was just looking at our canine friend in the backseat.'

Rudran turned and looked at her and the smile on his lips reached the black of his eyes and renu turned away in a hurry for gazing into his eyes made her body and mind go crazy.

She reached out with her right hand and turned his face away from her muttering ' with you by my side i feel like i have already been in an accident.so mister,concentrate on driving properly.'

Rudran nodded 'okay ma'am.'

'oh by the way i have decided on a name for our friend and take a wild guess how we are going to address him from now on.'

Renuka looked at Buddha ' Before you decided on the name let me confirm it first.For the name should reflect our friends true nature.Okay,let me see.He is huge,powerful,terrifying and yet has royalty written all over him.In total contrast to his physical powers he comes across as someone who knows and understands more than we do and that is creepy and scary at the same time.Somehow he always manages to look calm and composed and yet can make a grown man pee in his pants,like that traffic cop last night.'

Rudran ' go on and now put everything into one character and come up with one name.'

Renuka looked at him and then looked at Buddha and thought for a few seconds and then yelled ' yup.got it.I know what we can call him.'

Rudran looked at her ' what.say it and i can guarantee you that it will be wrong from what i have decided.'

Renuka with a sly twinkle in her eyes ' i think we should call him Rudran junior.'

Buddha jumped him from his seat and planted a few kisses on renukas face who had a hard time to calm him down.

She looked at him and then at rudran ' I dont have a clue as to what name you have decided for our friend here but going by his reaction to my choice of name,you can rest assured that he is happy with my selection.'

Rudran looked in the rear view mirror at the eyes of the laughing Buddha ' brutus,traitor.A good looking woman gives you a name and you shamelessly take her side.'

'Okay.so what did you name him.Come on,out with it. And i hope for your sake that it is not some cliched and usual name as Ceasar,Jimmy,Leo or some other famous personality.'

Rudran shook his head ' no,no.Nothing like that for our friend is a greater soul than them.'

Renuka waited,waited and Rudran whispered ' Buddha.'


Rajadurai stood with his hands behind his back and stared at the trees as they stretched and lay themselves like a carpet leading up to the rugged mountains.

A soft voice whispered ' IYYA' and rajadurai without turning nodded and the man again softly whispered ' we have confirmed news that he will be coming to madurai in the next few days.I am sure it has got something to do with the old man who died in the hospital.'

Rajadurai slowly turned and stared at Maanickam his manager 'Let him come for this time he will die here and it will be finally over.Inform everyone to be ready and to wait for my instructions.Understood.'

Maanickam bowed his head and nodded and left.

Rajadurai sighed deeply and then walked towards a locked door and using a key,opened and entered and then shut the doors behind him.He reached to the switch box near the door and one by one turned on all the lights.The room was centrally air conditioned and it had its own back up generators and power supply and it was a room that was off limits to everyone except Rajadurai.

Hundreds of paintings adorned the white walls and yet Rajadurai went and stood before one in which stood a mighty warrior brandishing a huge sword.

Rajadurai folded his hands and bowed to the man in the painting ' My lord,Rajendra cholan.The time has come for revenge and the time has come to reclaim our lost honor.We have waited for many centuries and finally the traitor is going to make an appearance and this time he will pay for what his ancestor did to our dynasty.His blood will be spilt and sacrificed in honor of our ancestors.The promise that was made will be finally fulfilled.Glory to the Chola dynasty.'


"Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don't really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren't really an ending; some things are never-ending." C. JoyBell C.


Death is a new birth,a new beginning and Birth is just death waiting to happen.Time and cosmic Karma will bring the darkness and light to do battle in Madurai and centuries old shadows will dust themselves and wake to join the ranks of the Hero and the Villain.

Promises made will be demanded to be fulfilled and ties that were made with sacrifice of lives will emerge as the king returns to take his place on top of the mountain.The lights will return to the forest and the songs of Azhagan,Avini and Malar will race through the trees and the creatures will gather around Him and Her.


"Oh you the creator, you the destroyer, you who sustain and make an end,Who in sunlight dance among the birds and the children at their play,Who at midnight dance among corpses in the burning grounds,You Shiva, you dark and terrible Bhairava,You Suchness and Illusion, the Void and All Things,You are the lord of life, and therefore I have brought you flowers;You are the lord of death, and therefore I have brought you my heart"This heart that is now your burning ground.Ignorance there and self shall be consumed with fire.That you may dance, Bhairava, among the ashes.That you may dance, Lord Shiva, in a place of flowers,And I dance with you." Aldous Huxley


On Mahashivaratri,i invoke the cosmic dancer and pray to him for his blessings and protection for all of us.He dances to create,to sustain and to destroy and he dances the eternal dance and they echo in the entire universe as the moons dance around their planets,the planets dance around the stars,the stars dance in a spin around the galaxies and the galaxies dance around the universe.You,me,all of us are in the grip of this dance and part of this eternal,cosmic Tandav of birth,death,realisation.

Come live,love and breathe knowing that everything is permanent and yet everything is temporary.