*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 108

That's right, Giri.

Spain,

Satish,

Interstellar


From the 19 inches to 21 inches tv and then to 28,32 and well the advent of plasma and lcd tvs have led to an explosions of sizes when it comes tvs and as a matter of fact cell phones too.The minute tvs went up to 40 and beyond,going to see a film in a cinema hall has become a bit of a bore and chore.Forget the cumbersome process of standing in lines which many of the multitudes still do,online booking has made it easier to select your seats and yet the whole pleasure of watching a film is gone the minute some cretin's mobile rings and he answers "i am watching movie,ok bye or ennamachaan,padam paakaren" and so on and so forth.I have never shied from getting up and letting the person know that i have paid hard earned money to watch film and it would be nice if he went outside to talk or i would...well it usually works but off late i just cannot do that for my infamy of being a a tv actor follows me and everyone kind of knows who i am.Goddamn that ANANDHAM serial for they have been flogging it again on zee tamil channel and there seems to be renewed interest in my aging mug.


The word theatre has mostly faded from memory and now when the time comes to go see a film it usually is called INOX,ESCAPE,AGS or PHOENIX MALL.
Viewing pleasure,ok for most it is that and still for many who go to the darkened halls is for other pleasures has come a long way,what with the push back seats and the comfort of the cushion and the width,oh the width of the seat is big that it can take any seat or dickey of any gigantic person.and then they have holes deep enough in the armrests for you to stick your water bottle,and the narrowed bottom of a popcorn carton or like me cold coffee.Damn those portions of cold coffee for even if i buy the largest one the damn thing is nearly empty by the time i come and seat my slurpy ass.and then i look achingly at others sipping their drinks making huge noises.

The width of the seat has increased and has come a long way from the coir filled more or less metal benches of black and white days of cinema.Even until the early 2000's seats in the theaters were pretty miserable and sometimes,shit many times you will find the local rodent population running over your feet and the fairer sex will scream in pure terror and you will laugh sarcastically one second and then you will be yelping and screaming like a pansy when the bandicoot tries to bite your leather shoes for want of protein.Forget the rats,cats and cockroaches for the biggest problem would be chewing gum sticking to your backside or the springs in the coir seat giving you tetanus in your anus.And the toilets,and the food items on display would make a leper make a face and retreat in fear.The width of the seat increases in proportion to the decrease of the width of your wallet.Yup every action has an equal and opposite reaction.increase is followed by decrease.A seat in multiplex costs anywhere from 150 to 200 and sometimes much more if in mumbai or bengaluru.add about 50 to 75 for car parking and the petrol charge to go the hall.add to that the food items and even for one person it comes to nearly 500 rs.oh wait add 30 rs for online booking priveleges.


When i decide to go watch a film,the deciding factors are firstly the director and then the cast of the film.Christopher nolan is an amazing director and i have seen most of his films starting from memento to the dark knight rises and add to that i just love sci-fi films but i dont like too much of Vittalacharya films kind of aliens and prefer too watch the universe if shown properly.Saying that i delayed going to see the film for usually it is crowded the first few days and weekends and i like to watch a film when the crowd is much thinner.ok put that down to claustrophobia and yes you will see the ebb and tide in my thoughts and words.


Expectations always lead to varying degrees of disappointments. i went to see interstellar to witness space and other objects on the big screen but sadly there was very little of that and mostly it was about humans and their triumphs and the pitfalls of industrial revolution.Well i can guarantee you this and you can take it to the bank that if one wants to make a blockbuster film then fill it with humans and their relationships.Yes sadly the film is about a father and his promise to his children and into that volatile mix throw in wormholes,blackholes,event horizons,theory of relativity and time travel.
Since i belong to the film fraternity and a permanent member of an industry that deals with illusions and suspension of logic and belief and all other laws of physics that govern the universe,yes i am talking about our tamil cinema when the villains fly through the air the minute the hero makes a turn towards them...etc,etc

Some of the biggest films like titanic,avatar,batman series are all filled with emotions,relationships and ties that bind.Okay for example no bond film has grossed more than 600 million dollars and skyfall crossed a billion dollars and the simple reason being the mother and son relationship between bond and M.Yes that final and climax scene where judie dench dies in bonds arms touched the heart of everyone and that simply translated into moolah,cash,dollars and pounds.the climax scene where rose pushes away jacks body in titanic brought tears in most peoples eyes and yes again the means box office records broken and new records set which were again broke by cameron in AVATAR where he showed love between a human being and an alien,well i know and have seen many who look far worse than that and maybe they are aliens in disguise like they quip in MEN IN BLACK.

Interstallar is good film,a good family film and a decent thriller but give me more please and until then i am sticking to my tv programmes HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS,COSMOS,THROUGH THE WORMHOLE,STRIP THE COSMOS and other programmes on national geographic,discovery and history channel.

Matthew McConaughey as always shines even with his texas drawl and sinks his teeth into the role and excels.The wave scene was good but 2012 beat it much before.The black hole and event horizon scene was yyyaaawwwn and physically impossible and logically impossible.

Well in the end it was a clever mixture of drama and science fiction and the enduring hope that someone from somewhere will save our sorry arses after we have finished destroying the planet and that someone could be ourselves from the future.oh what ego,what faith in mankind and yet again the belief in that something,somewhere.

CHAPTER 22

And they asked him:
Why do you sing?
And he answered:
I sing because I sing...

And they searched his chest
But could only find his heart
And they searched his heart
But could only find his people
And they searched his voice
But could only find his grief
And they searched his grief
But could only find his prison
And they searched his prison
But could only see themselves in chains

Earth poem by Mahmoud Darwish

The blind woman was ordinary looking and from a poor family and she was married off to a even poorer man for a dowry which consisted of an old cow.The husband of the blind woman was neither good or bad and was happy that his wife was barren,a sad truth for her and happy one for him.one less mouth he thought and yet life went on.years passed and yet they somehow endured and with them endured the old cow.One day she was alone and heard the bellow of the old cow and stumbling her way she went to the old cow and touched it.It bellowed and she felt her way through the cows body to see if it was hurt somehow and her fingers felt the udders and then the cow bellowed even louder and milk flowed from all the four teats.the warmth of the milk and the smell of it filled her nostrils and not knowing why she cupped her hands and catching come milk drank it.The milk flowed through her throat and into her stomach and it flowed into her whole body.Blind as she was she saw the light surrounding the cow and then she felt a light move through her body and then all was dark.concerned she felt the cow and after a few minutes realised that the cow was dead.her husband arrived and said well one less mouth to feed.The next day dawned and the blind woman slowly made her way to her husband to tell him that something strange was going on in her body but found her husbands body cold and stiff in death.she wailed in grief and soon neighbours came to her rescue and well matters were taken care of.the blind woman heard somebody whisper
" one less mouth to feed ".-snippet from the boy who went into the dark and came back with light ( a future story waiting to be written by me)


Like father,like son



vasantha kaala kolangal
vaanil vizhundha kodugal
kalaindhidum kanavugal
kanneer sindhum ninaivugal

Song from THYAAGAM


Arjun sat in the dark and the thick curtains in the two windows prevented all light entering his domain.he sat in the dark like evil sits in hell and plotted his next move.Hearing a knock on his door he yelled angrily " what " and manian the cook mumbled in fright that his mother was on the phone waiting to talk to him.Not wanting to be disturbed ever even by his parents arjun had not given his mobile no to anybody but for a selected few who were helping him in his plans and even they barely knew what he was planning.Arjun came out and picked up the phone and said "what".His mother informed him that his dad was very ill and that there was a chance that he might not make it and he was asking to see his son.Arjun told his mother that he would be there later in the afternoon and banged the phone down.He had thought of going to the gym and enjoying a quiet session of lifting weights to celebrate but now he had to change his schedule and maybe do that on the way back home.He crossed the large room and went into the corner where the wall was painted white and lots of photographs were stuck on it.It was like a timeline of lavanya's life starting from the day she was born and a couple of photos taken a few days before she died.

Arjun thought back to his days with his kid sister and anger swelled his chest and filled his mind.He quietly walked to the basement where his own personal gym was and slipped on the boxing gloves and started punching the bag.He did not punch the bag but the faces and bodies of dhana and balaji.He kept punching and punching until sweat from his body made a puddle near him and then finally collapsed in fatigue and tears.

Growing up arjun had never been like this although there were certain traits in him that kind of made people veer away from him and the most important trait was the drive and motivation to never lose and to never give up.This trait came from his father who instilled this emotion,this madness from his childhood and he had done the same to lavanya.Mr.venkatesh, arjun's father had not come from a rich family and had worked hard for everything and had struggled every step he had taken towards amassing a fortune.These rough lessons he drilled into arjun whom he groomed from the time he could understand money to take over his business and also take it to a global level.But then everything had come crashing down with lavanya's death and arjun had retreated into a shell,a cocoon of his own weaving.

Gurumurthy was sitting at the table and as usual sumitra his wife was serving the usual healthy but unpalatable food.Chandru came down the stairs and paused for a second to enjoy this romantic interlude between his mum and dad.Gurumurthy looked at his wife lovingly and said "sumi,ennamma idhu.oats and that too without salt or honey,and one cup of papaya and one slice of brown toast which tastes like cardboard.how am i supposed to live on this and in the afternoon two dry chapatis and some boiled vegetable and one cup buttermilk.sumima,how do i eat the same damn stuff everyday,i am getting tired".sumitra pinched her husbands cheek and said "you might be guru to everyone else but that stops when you step into the house for here my laws have to be followed.you cholesterol has shot up and your suffering from high blood pressure and knowing this you still complain.".gurumurthy sighed " what is a man supposed to do when his wife knocks him out with such technicalities.okay,i will eat this while i stare at your beautiful face."sumitra planted a kiss on his head and said " nalla payan,samathu"

Chandru at the top of his voice sang "Aimbathilum aasai varum,Aasaiyudan paasam varum " and his parents turned to him his mother said " why are you jealous.i am flirting with my husband and if not for us you would not be here".gurumurthy said " wow,son let me give you one important piece of advice and that is never tangle or argue with your mum for you will surely lose.35 years and i have yet to win a single arguement and here i am still editing news for one of the most important papers in the country." Gurumurthy looked achingly at chandru's plate as sumitra piled five idlis and placed two huge keerai vadais next to the idlis.she poured lots of mint chutney on the idlis and in a small plate placed sugar mixed with ghee for her son liked dabbing the idlis in it.Chandru looked at his dad and then asked his mum for the kaara kozhambu she had made the previous afternoon.sumitra went off to take it from the fridge and to heat it up in the oven and in that time span chandru broke a piece of the vadai and placed it in his dads mouth.but it didnt stop at one piece and gurumurthy finished both the vadais and two idlis to boot.And knowing that his wife would surely know what happened by taking just one look a him ran to his bedroom in fear.chandru seeing his dad scamper started giggling and couldnt stop laughing and wished he had taken a photo of his dad swallowing the vadais and then running in fear.

After breakfast he went in search of his dad and found him in the garden surrounded by newspapers quietly reading them.Chandru looked at his dad and shaking his head said "appa,you have all these newpapers online."Gurumurthy shrugged his shoulders and said " well,for oldies like me there is no greater pleasure than reading like i have always done.no laptops or kindles for me." Chandru sat next to him and slowly explained the mysterious phone calls to priya about the chief minister and how they were going about it.Gurumurthy patiently listened to his son and then smiled and said " well,you have everything under control and i would have handled this matter the same way,so go ahead without any doubts.But remember what i have always told you "dont rush to judgement until you have all the facts and always maintain the dignity and integrity of yourself and the paper.Stories will come and go but reputation and a good name is difficult to regain once it is lost." Chandru nodded and said thanks and left feeling lighter for having talked to his dad.


Arjun parked his car outside his parents house and entered his home after nearly five years.His mother came rushing to greet him and stopped short in shock when she saw her son for he had transformed so much that even she had difficulty recognising him.Not knowing how to approach the stranger that he had become she led the way and he entered his dads bedroom.His father had changed just like he had but for the worse and the cancer that had been in remission had finally won against chemos and other chemicals that had been thrown at it and was steadily fulfilling its destiny.Arjuns mother left them both and the two men looked at each other.Venkatesan had lost too much weight but the eyes blazed fiercely and he stared at his son and smiled knowingly and whispered " have you started.have you struck." Arjun was taken aback but knew his dad was smarter than him and said "started but am waiting for the right moment to strike." venkatesan coughed roughly and slowly got his breath back and " arjun,remember one thing,once you have started dont stop until you have finished and reached your goals.show no mercy and if your enemy is down,strike and see that he will never be a threat again,forever.you are my son and i am not angry with you for killing your sister and i might have done the same thing in clear conscience which you did out of impulse and anger.I dont know if i will be around by the time you have finished but i will rest easy in death if you are victorious in your revenge against those that have destroyed our lives.By the way i have left everything i own to you and use all of it to regain what you think you have lost.but promise me that you will look after your mother for she is naive and innocent." Arjun felt the tears pour down his face and they fell on his fathers face and both their tears mixed as one and the son slowly took the fathers hand and held it close to his chest and watched the old man drift into a sleep which he might not wake up from.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."? Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
A snap shot in the family album
Daddy what else did you leave for me?
Daddy what d'ya leave behind for me?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

"Another Brick In The Wall (Part I)" -pink floyd

CHAPTER 23

"You invented me. There is no such earthly being,
Such an earthly being there could never be.
A doctor cannot cure, a poet cannot comfort
A shadowy apparition haunts you night and day.
We met in an unbelievable year,
When the world's strength was at an ebb,
Everything withered by adversity,
And only the graves were fresh.
Without streetlights, the waves were black as pitch,
Thick night enclosed me like a wall ...
That's when my voice called out to you!
Why it did I still don't understand.
And you came to me, as if guided by a star
That tragic autumn, stepping
Into that irrevocably ruined house,
From whence had flown a flock of burnt verse."

? Anna Akhmatova, The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova


There are times when we know our strength is inadequate to face life's adversities and then the question is do we retreat,do we lie down and give up or do we forge on regardless of the end result.But wait there is another way and that is ask your dearest and nearest for their perspective and take the hand given to you in good faith.for in times of peril who else can we turn if not our loved ones and our closest friends.The minute you lay your problems is th minute you can breathe more freely and be rid of the burden for at least a little time.and sometimes timeout and the breather you take is all that is required to fight on,to carry on the good fight called love and life.Call them as you wish and i will call them oasis,yes for they are like the sweet water that gushes out from the burning desert floor and yes friends are just that,water sent to quench and soothe your thirst and pain.It is as if mother earth herself understands and recognises your struggles to make sense of it all and she sends timely help in the form of friends and family.But look and really look again,open your eyes wide and look again for you have words,quotes and proverbs from great men,wise men who have said it all for you,for me and for everybody to read and ponder and they have done it many thousands of years ago and still do.Drink from their wisdom,learn from their experiences and live,fight and die fighting even if vain and even in defeat for it is better to die fighting than lie down and wait for death.

"Perseverance is more prevailing than violence and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little".Plutarch (C. A.D. 46 - C 120) - Greek Biographer and Essayist


The fellowship of the ring of fire

The whole team was assembled in chandru's cabin and were awaiting him and he came in a slightly better mood than he had been the past few weeks.He looked at all of them and said " i know ,i know that i have been moody and irritated with this whole affair but i am better now,better for i spoke to dad,our chairman and he said something which has charged my batteries and that is dont stop until you find the truth.and we are not going to stop." Chandru looked at malaiswamy and asked him if there was anything suspicious about the doctors death and malai said "nothing from the police report and they have put it down as a hit and run case and well nothing more will be done about that.But i plan to go to the accident spot and see for myself if it was just an accident or something else for it is too much of a co-incidence that the man had to die just when i was going to meet him.Put it down to my police instinct but i wont jump to any conclusion until i have done my own investigation."

The intercom beeped on chandru's table and he picked it up and said " rekha,i told you that i did not want to be disturbed by any calls for at least an hour.so what is the emergency." Rekha his personal secretary " sorry boss,but there is a gentleman called balaji here who wants to meet priya immediately and he has come with a sub-inspector who told me that balaji is the chief ministers close friend.I am sorry for disturbing you but i did not know what to do."

Chandru pressed the mute button on the intercom and took a deep breath and looked at everybody and said mr.Balaji is here.Everybody stared at each other as if caught by surprise and then malaiswamy said " sir,he is here now.so lets talk to him and find out what he wants to say and also ask him a few questions and try to find out what the whole thing is about and maybe then we will have more info than we have right now.'

Chandru looked at malaiswamy and said " mr.malaiswamy,that is what i like about you,straight to the point and no confusions about it."

He told rekha to send mr.balaji in and they made space for him and gokul stood up and vacated a chair for the visitor.Balaji walked in and looked surprised to see so many staff members of the newspaper there but composed himself and softly introduced himself " i am balaji." He looked at priya and said " hi priya." she nodded her head and said " hello.thank you for coming to our office.please, be seated."

There was bit of a pause in the air for first meetings are always awkward and it is even more awkward when it is to discuss secrets and long buried memories.Chandru looked at malai and taking the hint the policeman slipped into investigation mode.He introduced himself and asked balaji how they could be of help and balaji explained that the calls trying to defame the chief minster dhana were worrying,especially when he and his party had just formed the government and were sincerely trying to do good to the state.Balaji went on and told them that dhana did not want to misuse his power to find out the mysterious caller and wanted their newspaper to do their own investigation independently and come to their own conclusions without any bias.

Chandru " mr.balaji,thank you very much for coming here but if it is not too much trouble ,could you please tell us more about yourself,the chief minister and the dead girl in question."

Everybody saw the sadness that filled the huge mans face and body and balaji himself looked down at the floor for even the mere mention of lavanya brought pain and tears to his soul.He took a deep breath and slowly told them everything.How he met dhana and how he met lavanaya.He told them how lavanya had been obsessed with his friend and her evil plans to hurt dhana by sleeping with him and in the end had ended her life when dhana had rejected her outright.

Balaji calmly looked at all of them and said " that is all there is to this story.It is a sad and disturbing episode from years ago and one we had thought had been buried and forgotten.but it seems that someone is deliberately raking it again to disgrace dhana and through him his government.Let me tell you one thing about dhana.he is the most honest and decent human being you can ever meet and i am lucky to have him as my friend.I would rather die than let someone destroy his reputation just for the sake of politics or some ulterior motive."

The whole room was quiet and everyone felt lavanya move through them as if to remind them that the dead even though long gone still live through their evil desires and vengeful plots.Chandru looked at balaji and said " thank you very much for being so honest and i know now what happened then and i know from your telling it that everything happened the way it happened.we will keep you informed of any further developments in this investigation and please convey our regards to our chief minister and tell him that we all think he is doing a great job."

Balaji left them and one by one they all looked at each other and then all of them looked at malaiswamy and he knew why they looked at him for he was the police officer with years of service behind him and he sighed and said " yes,i personally think he was telling the truth and he looks like a very honest man and a very innocent man in the least.And heaven help the one who comes between him and his friend."


Venkatesan,arjuns father whispered to his wife to come closer and said " if i die today or in the next few day dont try to contact arjun and wait for him to come to my funeral.place me in cold storage and if anyone should ask why,tell them that our son is abroad and hence the delay in the funeral.tell them that you are trying to locate him and are having difficulty in tracing him since he left many years ago and has not been in contact for some time." Promise me the husband begged and the wife said okay.They looked at each other and the old man smiled and life slipped away,laying seeds of destruction as it slipped away and helping chaos and death in the form of his son.

ulagaththil thirudargal sari paadhi
oomaigal kurudargal adhil paadhi
kalagaththil pirappadhu dhaan needhi
kalangaadhae madhi mayangaadhae

Ennathan Nadakkum from panathottam


The blind woman found refuge in the temple and pitying her and her plight people from the village left her food and old clothes.she made her home in a small broken down mandapam near the temple.The temple doors were locked in the night the blind woman stayed all by herself and yet she knew no fear.The light that filled her now moved to her swollen womb and unknown to her things happened around her.A large black maned lion came every night and stood guard near the entrance of the mandapam and with the king of the jungle guarding her ,every animal gave the lion and the woman a wide berth.The very forest closed ranks and the tall mighty banyan tree enveloped the mandapam from rain and cold.Time travelled and the blind woman travelled with it bearing the light in her womb and she cried and prayed to god " let my child be healthy in every way and not blind and poor like me and her salty tears and prayers fell on her womb and the light moved inside her and she felt strangely comforted and would fall asleep.The huge black mane lion roared for he now knew his king was alive and that he would be united with his long lost friend again.-snippet from the boy who went into the dark and came back with light ( a future story waiting to be written by me)

We met and got entangled in lifes net
she asked what is this thing called love
many questions on why,what,where and how
i shrugged my shoulders and shook my head
and said who knows,maybe someone does but not me
So we sat as time,life and many people passed us and passed on
she said i am broken and i feel every break in my soul
and it reflects in my broken body
i said it is somewhat similar to what i feel
and i dont have the answers on how to heal
she slipped her fingers into mine and said they feel rough
and yet they feel nice and fit perfectly
i shrugged and smiled and mustered a sigh
she slowly placed her head on my chest and said
i know this beat for it is a familiar one
and i placed my head on her chest and said
your heart feels familiar and the rhythm comforting
i held her close and our hearts beat as one
and she cried and whispered
is this love for then it is comforting
is this love for your touch is healing
is this love for i can feel everything about you
and our hearts beat as one
for i tried to beat for her and she tried to live for me
one heart,one soul,one thought and one life
two became one

CHAPTER 24

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" ? Mark Twain


Stand still and observe the world around you and their actions,speech and their thoughts.We are who we pretend to be and want to be.Isnt it funny that after a few hours of observation you come to the conclusion that most people say and do things just to be accepted and the need to fit in.Fashion is a great rule or method in which way one can see this comedy in action.whether it fits them or not and regardless how ridiculous one looks in tight or skinny jeans which have been the rage ,the majority do it even if it is uncomfortable,makes them walk funny when their walk was already funny and regardless how funny they appear to others and then again the others are no better.They will not change but endure the pain just to fit in with the majority of the people.They get dictated by the streets of paris,by underground fashions in black america and dont stop to think about the streets of chennai.That is why i call them sheep and often use the word herd mentality.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. - George Bernard Shaw


RUN LIKE HELL


"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."- Bruce Lee


Dhana had become a student of martial arts because of bruce lee.In the early 1970's bruce lee's films had created mass hysteria among the people of madras and around the world.thousands took up karate just to be like bruce lee who they considered a hero and many thousands still do to date and take up the sport for the sake of the legend from hong kong.

Dhana started learning karate under Renshi R.V.T.Mani who established the Budokai (Academy of Martial Arts) in the year 1965.Many people will remember mani from the few films he acted in notably ANBUKKU NAAN ADIMAI .The effect of bruce lee took him quickly to the black belt status and then on to the 1st dan and that too by the time he joined college.But college politics,wanting to have fun and just the euphoria of youth came to the foreground and karate took a step back in his life and then altogether faded away from his life.But dhana was blessed with good genetics and high rate of metabolism and this kept him healthy and vital.It was during a stint of work in california that he took up martial arts again and that too under the student of his childhood hero Dan Inosanto aka Daniel Arca Inosanto.

Under the new master dhana learnt lot more about karate but most importantly more about the mind .It was here the foundation of the future chief minister was laid for it was here under master dan, dhana's search went inwards and eventually his mind expanded to take in everything.Put through rigorous training dhana perfected his technique and imbibed the doctrines of bruce lee and ancient china.He started reading and not just reading but breathing in all the teachings of great men and philosophers and realised that true happiness lay in seeing other people happy and serving others who were in need of his help and strength.


It was a room that no one entered or dared to enter for it was his private space and retreat.This was a room where dhana retreated to meditate and ponder and also connect with his masters.Dhana entered his study and switched on a single overhead bulb.He opened the single window and let the air in and then lit a few incense sticks and placed it before the small buddha statue.He sat down and closing his eyes chanted the few precious sentences which a tibetian monk had given him and shut himself from the outside world.Time passed and dhana asked the questions that were plaguing his dreams and his mind answered what is broken cannot be put back as the same and in the same form.dhana travelled back and realised that everything revolved around lavanaye and her untimely death.
The voice whispered ' what is done is done and what is important now is the present.There comes a time to stay calm and retreat and there comes a time when you must stand firm and fight.fight for yourself and fight for what is right.and if in the fight you have to kill then dont hesitate for the bad will kill you and everything around you.there is a time to be a martyr and a saint but there comes a time when you must become a warrior not just to protect yourself but protect your loved ones and all that is right.'

Dhana opened his eyes and felt lighter and he gently folded his hands and bowed to buddha and prayed ' master,guide me for i am going to war.i dont ask for victory for myself but ask for protection of the weak,innocents and my loved ones."

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."? Sun Tzu, The Art of War


Malaiswamy looked at chandru and priya ' I am going to the spot where senthilnathan died and it will be good if you both come along for more eyes and extra minds will help me find clues if there are any.' Chandru and priya knew it was a privelege to be invited and that they were going to have a crash course in investigation techniques and jumped up in excitement as if they were school children going on an excursion and said 'yes,yes,we would love to come along.' malai shook his head and muttered kids and asked them to come along.Down in their basement parking garage malai took one look at his tiny maruti alto and then looked at chandru and 'boss,we are in no hurry so lets take your BMW.at least lets investigate in style.'

Priya's mobile rang and she said 'hello balaji.' She looked at chandru and malai and when they nodded in unison she informed balaji about them investigating lavanyas death and the doctor who had conducted her autopsy.she further told him about the mans death and asked him to join them on the kelambakkam road.
Malai looked at them both ' it is not going to hinder us in anyway and who knows maybe he might remember some detail from those days which might help us for right now we are in the dark.'

Afternoon traffic was bit light and yet it took them the best part of a hour to reach the kelambakkam bypass road off ecr and found balaji waiting in his car but without the policeman who had accompanied him.Chandru asked him the leave his car and come along with them in the BMW and off they went,a posse on the hunt for an elusive clue about an elusive truth.

Balaji thanked them all and asked them what was suspicious about lavanya's suicide and malaiswamy told him in detail about his going to the kilpauk government hospital and the confession of ramesh who had been present when the autopsy was done in a secretive manner.Malaiswamy ' well until we go through the complete information that is available to us we should not discount or rule out any avenue open to us.it is common knowledge that most suicides of rich and famous people are hushed up because it brings too much interest from the public and unwanted attention from the press who are always trying to sniff out a story where there is none.'immediately chandru and priya protested loudly 'what malaiswamy,how can you say this when you yourself are employed by a newspaper.' Malai with a twinkle in his eye and a sly smile ' che che,i am talking about other newspapers,not us' and started laughing.


It was late in the afternoon when they reached the place where senthilnathan had fulfilled his date with destiny in a grisly manner.Malaiswamy asked chandru to park the car on the opposite side so as not to contaminate the spot even more.Then all four of them crossed the road and malai looked at them and said follow me in a single file and keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual or suspicious.Like soldiers they marched in a single file and malai stopped when he saw the large bloodstain marking the spot where the doctor had died.Malai stood still taking in everything and his mentor the late balwinder singh whispered 'see the crime scene and see it again and memorise everything about it and now visualise how the crime could have been committed.'

Malai turned to the three of them and asked 'what is wrong with this picture.' The three of them shrugged and balaji said ' i see a large blood stain,obviously from the person who died in the accident and well that is all i can see.'

Malai looked at them ' the scooty which senthilnathan was driving got hit there, nearly ten feet away for we can see the gouges on the cement road which was obviously laid down by the scootys side stand as it skidded after being hit.after the initial impact senthilnathan is flung forward and lands here where he dies.But then there seem to be two different traumas that caused his death from what little i saw of the autopsy report and i snuck a peak in a hurry.After the first impact the man slams to the ground fracturing his skull and the impact also breaks his wrists for he must have put his hands forward to cushion his fall.But then his chest cavity seems sunk as if it also suffered a major impact.I think that after hitting his bike,the car ran over him with one of the wheels and that clinches the whole thing.Somebody deliberately killed senthilnathan.'

Chandru puzzled ' but mr.malai.why didn't the police see all this and come to the same conclusion.' Malai ' well.boss the accident happened last evening in the dark and the victim is a 65 year old man living alone with his wife.i doubt if a police team will be assembled to investigate this and thus waste their resources.But i think we got too close to some secret to which senthilnathan was part of and hence this result.So now we need to be really careful for someone is watching our every action and that someone could mean us harm,deadly harm.'

The afternoon sun was losing its heat and the white light was changing color and all four of them stood wondering what or who had done this grisly act.Malai asked them to slowly spread out and see if they could find any other clue and after a few minutes priya called ' mr.malai,there is a mobile phone here.'
malaiswamy asked her not to touch it with her bare hands and hurried towards it.Malai came to the place where the phone lay and chandru stood next to him and balaji slowly joined them and stood next to priya.malaiswamy looked at the phone and then slowly let his eyes travel around the whole area around it.His eyes took in the mobile which lay there and also took in the roughed up earth around it and clean smooth ground outside that radius.That is when the mobile rang,malaiswamy's instincts screamed and before he could say wait chandru bent down to pick up the mobile and picking it up pressed the answer button.

Years of service as a cop,many vital years under his mentor balwinder singh ,many cases investigated and sucessfully solved had honed malaiswamy's primitive senses and he moved,faster than a normal man can move and slapped the mobile from chandru's hand and was about to push him to the ground.Balaji a big man but a strong and an athletic man reacted the minute malai tapped the phone out of chandrus hand and threw his body over priya and both fell to the ground.
Everything happened in slow motion chandru pressing the green button on the mobile,malai reaching and slapping the mobile from chandrus hands and balaji throwing himself over priya and covering her and the ground near malai and chandru exploded.

Many days later after three surgeries balaji would recollect seeing the ground swell up with a muffled roar and as if belching flame and smoke and then he remembered nothing.

Chandru pressed the answer button and triggered a secondary receiver which was rigged to a land mine buried just where they found the mobile.

Weapons of destruction destroy and are solely meant for that and the bomb true to its nature did what it was meant to do.The explosion cut malaisawmy into half instantly killing him and went on to kill chandru whose body took the whole impact of the blast.Balaji saved priyas life and his in the process,first by reacting quickly and secondly covering her with his large frame and taking some of the blast on his strong back muscles that would leave him with ugly scars for the rest of his life.


Passing vehicles stopped when they saw the explosion and a few brave souls rushed to help.Mobile phones were whipped out and all of them dialed 100 and the situation was reported.A passing traffic police vehicle stopped and the sub inspector took one look and understood what had happened.he immediately yelled everybody to keep away and that one word 'BOMB' gave speed to all the people there.they scattered like dry leaves in the wind and minutes later the news was delivered to the police commissioner and minutes later the news reached the chief minister dhanashekara pandiyan.Ambulances from the toll gates near ECR and OMR rushed to the spot but had to wait until the bomb disposal squad could arrive.

Priya's eyes flickered and she felt difficulty breathing and slowly she took deep breaths and found her bearing.She came to her senses and lifting her head she saw the reason for her difficulty in breathing was because balaji's body lay over her.she had to really muster all her strength to push the big man aside and gingerly sat up.

You wake up everyday knowing it is a good day.You rise knowing that your loved ones are safe and then death happens.The world as you know it has changed.death changes everything you know and understand about life.death changes the way you treat people and most importantly death of a loved one takes away the purpose to live or lead a meaningful life.

Priya's eyes took in everything and she saw chandru's mutilated body and well she went into shock and fainted.the body does this strange thing just to safe guard you and protect you from overwhelming and shocking news.Priya lay in a faint and balaji was slipping away due to his massive injuries but most importantly due to blood loss.A few fishermen folk who saw that priya was still alive threw caution to the wind and breaking the police barrier rushed to help priya and started to carry her out.A groan from balaji alerted them that he was still alive and a few of them grunting and groaning carried the injured man out.Two of the fishermen took one look at the bodies of malaiswamy and chandru and knew they were gone and nothing could be done about them.

This timely act saved balaji's life for his injuries were treated immediately in the ambulance.the bandages stemmed the bleeding and he was rushed into surgery where doctors worked on him for a few hours. later after most of the shrapnel was removed from his back and legs,he was shifted to the ICU and closely monitored.


'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin...let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead,
Scribbling on the sky the message: He is Dead.
Put crepe bows 'round the necks of public doves,
Let traffic policemen wear black, cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East, my West.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour out the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

"Funeral Blues" by W.H. Auden



Did you know when you were born,the minute when you came into this world.That second when you slipped out of your mother or in some cases surgically removed from her womb do you remember it.No,we came in a bundle of flesh,new,innocent,blind and naive but most will know when they fall down dead,die in their sleep of old age or in some of the countless ways he beckons us back to his world and sadly that is the last thought,the last grasp of our mind and literally our last gasp.Death unites us all for in death you,me,all living things and this very universe change from from on life to another or back to putty,basic or broke down to basic chemicals.Death takes away your body,the body with which you made passionate love to,the body you lovingly bathed with scented soaps and shampoos and dressed in beautiful clothes.Death leaves you stiff,cold and alienates you from the living.Death scares the daylights out of most people and yet everybody has a destiny,a blind date, a tryst, a contract which is binding.


"Death never comes at the right time, despite what mortals believe. Death always comes like a thief." Christopher Pike, The Last Vampire


The boy now three touched his mothers face and tenderly asked her 'mother why are you different from the rest.' She smiled ' i am blind my son.' The boy puzzled 'what is blind mother.' She ' what do you see around you.' The boy replied ' i see you,i see the sun,i see lots of trees and i see my best friend with lots of hair and he walks on all fours and only comes to see me in the night.' The blind woman not understanding her son's description of the black maned lion said ' well i cannot see like you do and that is what blind means.' The boy gently touched her face and kissed her cheeks and said ' i will see for you.i will be here for you.From this moment my eyes are your eyes and you will know the world again and never feel that you are blind again.' They sat mother and son and the trees hummed with pleasure and far,far away the beast woke up hearing the song of the forest and knew its enemy was here once again.'-snippet from the boy who went into the dark and came back with light ( a future story waiting to be written by me)

CHAPTER 25


"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me." -Elizabeth Gilbert,


The man lay in the hospital with wounds that should have killed a normal human being.Yet he lay still with eyes wide open staring at the ceiling and did not flinch or moan in pain when they cleaned and dressed his wounds.There were whispers in the hospital that he had saved many lives risking his own and with a few others fended off the attack by terrorists in the sensitive border that divides us from pakistan and china.Details were highly classified and people only knew that much and were strictly warned to follow protocol.He had been shifted to this elite private hospital from the military hospital due to lack of certain facilities and a week had passed since.There were armed comandos at both ends of the corridor and and on every level leading up to the fifth floor where the wounded man lay ,recovering.It was late in the night and as the duty doctor maya was quietly doing her rounds when she heard his whisper of thirst.Pressing the button on the side of the bed she elevated him a bit and holding a glass of water placed a straw in his mouth.He finished the whole glass and when he started coughing she gently rubbed his head he turned and looked at her.Their eyes met and she realised that no one had seen her like this for his eyes saw everything and then they saw deep into her soul.Tears slowly welled and poured from his eyes.she wiped them gently and asked if he was okay and if she could be of any help.He shook his head and slowly whispered ' whenever you find time, please come and spend some time like you are doing right now.' So they met one night after another and he started healing quicker than before and both looked forward to their meeting every night.- Passage from circle of life, a future story i will start writing soon.



Earth,Wind,Fire,Water And Love


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

By Mary Elizabeth Frye


The whole hospital was buzzing with excitement for news had slowly spread that the chief minister was coming to visit his friend who was in the ICU.The security team in charge of dhana's protection were nervous and anxious at the same time for they had been given just a few minutes notice about the CM going to visit his injured friend at the hospital.But hurried calls were made and police officers from the surrounding stations scrambled and stood guard outside the hospital.

Dhana came in quietly worried sick about balaji and barely noticed people who lined the corridors to just get a glimpse of him.The chief doctor,the chairman of the hospital and most of the board members were already waiting for him,simply to see the man who was taking the state to great heights.

Dhana softly asked for the doctor who was treating him and asked him about balaji's condition and he reported that although balaji had been in critical condition because of the blood loss he was mostly out of danger.He further remarked with a gentle smile that had it not been for his muscle mass and size,the shrapnel would have surely killed him and priya.Dhana looked at the doctors face and tears slid down his cheeks and said ' that is balaji my friend for you,always thinking of others and their safety.'He gently shook the doctors hand and softly asked him if he could spend a few minutes with his friend.The doctor nodded okay and dhana quietly entered the ICU,careful not to make any noise and wake up his friend.

He sat near the bed and then gently took balaji's right hand and held it tenderly and the tears came,they came,they gushed and dhana felt so much pain seeing balaji in this wounded condition.

Balaji's eyes flickered and shifted and caught dhana in his sight ' how are the others.are they okay.' With tears still streaming from his eyes,dhana nodded and said 'ok but how are you doing '.Balaji smiled painfully and groaned ' you are such a bad liar and you could never and will never be able to lie to me.so tell me what happened.' Dhana did not know what to say and how to say but he knew he could never lie to his friend 'you saved priya's life by risking yours but you were injured pretty badly and nearly died due to massive blood loss.' Balaji smiled 'no problem for i will recover soon.lots of cold beer,chettinad chicken and ilayaraja's songs will help me better than all this medicines.but what about chandru and malaiswamy.'

Dhana hesitated ' priya is okay but for some minor injuries.' Balaji gripped dhana's hand tightly 'go on,what about the other two.' dhana sadly shook his head ' sorry da,they didnt make it.and i am the reason for this damn tragedy.i should have never called you in the first place.' Balaji groaned in anger ' stupid,you might be the chief minister but that wont stop me from giving slapping you silly.kill this weak attitude and help me recover quickly for we have work to do and matters to be settled.dont do anything stupid until i am back on my feet again.promise me.' dhana smiled and said ok.Like rama and lakshmana the two sat in silence lost in their pain and sorrow.


After balaji had drifted of to sleep,dhana came out and met balaji's parents and consoled them.He gently asked the doctor to take him to the room where priya was and followed him.

Priya was still recovering from the shock of having her whole world turned upside down and did not react to dhana as he came in and sat next to her bed.Chandru's mother sumitra was also there but quietly left the room and both of them to their secrets.Dhana looked at priya ' I am sorry priya.I know it wont be of much help but still we are all here for you and please dont hesitate to ask if you need anything.'

Priya looked at him sadly ' i need chandru.i want him back and i dont want anything else.' Then she somehow managed to compose herself and ' sir,promise me this.promise me you will catch whoever did this and bring them to justice.' Dhana nodded ' i will not stop until that is done.this case is now in the hands of the police and it is just a matter of time before the culprits are caught.'

Priya asked how balaji was doing and dhana replied that it would take time but he would recover.She stared into the distance with a vacant stare ' your friend was so brave and he reacted so quickly.but i wish he had saved chandru instead of me for he was more useful to this world.I am nothing when compared to him and now i am beneath nothing without him.'

Leaving priya dhana asked the police commissioner where the bodies of malaiswamy and chandru were and was told that the bodies had been taken to the general hospital for a detailed autopsy.Dhana asked the commissioner to travel with him in his car for he needed to discuss what to do next.

Traveling from kelambakkam dhana looked at the commissioner ' This case takes absolute priority and has to be solved quickly.Dont worry about anything and take whatever measures or means necessary and report to me directly on a daily basis.I will inform my chief secretary of the same.understood.'

The entrance to the general hospital was jam packed with reporters from newspapers and tv channels and they were screaming for a word from the chief minister.
Dhana walked up to them and raised his hand and everyone fell silent.He looked at all of them and there was sadness in his eyes and something more.

' I am talking to the people who did this.know this,where ever you may be,wherever you may hide or run to you will not escape.This is an act of cowardice and is possible only by cowards who dont want to show their faces.Good for you for if you show your faces and are caught it is death by hanging for all those involved in this case.I want to convey my condolences to the families who have lost loved ones in this ghastly act and extend my complete support to them.'

Dhana tried to leave but the crowd wanted more details and so he turned to them and said ' it is too soon for information but i guess you all know that two of your brethren were killed,no murdered in the blast.so rather than speculating,honor their memory with correct news and please dont write anything without proper proof.Thank you.'

Dhana was taken to the morgue where he found mr.gurumurthy,chandrus dad sitting in a chair.He got up out of respect but dhana asked him to sit down and sat next to him.The father of a murdered son, a son who had gone before him,well before his time was broken and the shock had taken its toll.He started mumbling and crying loudly sagged to the floor.dhana tenderly held him and said " sorry,i am so sorry for your loss.i am the reason for all this death and destruction and i dont know how to make it up to you.'

Gurumurthy mumbled 'only yesterday morning he came to me and explained the whole case and how they were conducting the investigation and i wished him well.And here i am the next day waiting to collect my dead son and i only wish i had died instead of him.'

The chief minister and the chairman of a major newspaper sat quietly talking about their grief and then gurumurthy said ' sir,i know the police department are going to investigate this case but i want you to know that my paper will also be doing its own investigation.I am going to take charge and if i get any information i will pass it on to you.But if i find who the culprit was then i will do what has to be done.'


Priya slowly got up from her bed and walked to the window and saw the darkness which had covered the city and felt the darkness cover her soul.She whispered his name and felt her lips where he had kissed her and leaning against the window stared and wondered where chandru was.


Orayiram paarvaiyile
un paarvaiyai naanariven
un kaaladi osaiyile
un kaadhalai naan ariven
orayiram paarvaiyile
un paarvaiyai naanariven

indha maanidar kadhalellam
oru maranaththil maarividum
andha malargalin vaasamellam
oru maalaikkul vaadividum
nam kaadhalin dheepam mattum
endha naalilum kooda varum

indha kaatrinil naan kalandhen
un kangalaith thazhuvuginren
indha aatrinil oaduginren
un aadayil aaduginren
naan pogindra paadhaiyellaam
un poomugam kaanuginren

Orayiram paarvaiyile
un paarvaiyai naanariven
un kaaladi osaiyile
un kaadhalai naan ariven

song from vallavanukku vallavan