Raghav-Pallavi, a happy ending??? |DT P.2, 9 - Page 3

Originally posted by: Wilddreams

Raghav is still in his me/myself/ I mode. He still doesn't know what he did to Pallavi. So true…it has always been about him and him only…

Pallavi calling his love fake rightly so because she is one who got betrayed by him. Yes she is absolutely right…she got betrayed and he is trying to gain sympathy with all the self harm tricks…

Why he is talking in that attitude to her? Well she didn’t give in to his rona dhona, ped ke neeche sona…so now warning her that he would resort to self harm…AgniPariksha…how does this act reduce the gravity of his mistake or reduce her pain and suffering…how daft is this guy.. He needs forgiveness for what??? He hasn’t even lifted his foot towards redemption but he deserves forgiveness…

Serves her right…. in spite of being blamed insulted and treated badly, she took a bullet to save his life so now he wants forgiveness too in charity…

He wanted to explain his situation and Pallavi listened to him...and she is choosing to stay away from him..That is her decision but he doesn't want to accept that. He still wants her to forgive him because he can't stay away from her.

What about her choice?? Now what is that, how can Pallavi..a mere mortal can decide for her life???

He isn't giving her any choice by continuously pestering her. Sleeping outside the D house and now this coal ramp walk all are his tactics to emotionally blackmail Pallavi to forgive him in other words give in to his choice. That’s always been the case right, it’s our fault that we mistook it to be his love while all he has been exhibiting till now is selfishness…right from the marriage to this day…even he putting the gun on his forehead..coz he is insanely obsessed with her and can’t live without her…even now he is resorting to self harm coz he cannot live without her…in his own admission….he can’t love her and be loyal to her but she has to always stay with him no matter what…kya hai yeh Insaan…

Self harm =Emotional blackmail

Specially when he is doing to prove his point. 💯 True…

Instead of self harm he should give her some space and respect to her decision. She needs some time to come in terms of whatever happened. She needs space to process her emotions which he isn't giving her 😔

She is the one who is being wronged and he is resorting to all sorts of tricks to gain sympathy…look how Amma and Keerthi melted…and now he doing the same thing to Pallavi…how hard is it to see???

For the meantime he can tackle with Esha and decide whatever he wants to do with her. Ironically the woman whose responsible for this mess is still living under the same roof with him😵 How insensitive of him to expect her to forgive and stay with him in the same house where lives the woman he slept with and cheated on her with..He should start rectifying his mistakes by throwing her out from his house.

When he went all out to save Esha at Warangal and ended up getting sloshed with her , it was out of humanity

When he went to check on her the next day and gave her ‘thodi si jagah’ and brought her home..it was out of humanity

When he threatened her Ex husband to stay away from her…it was out of humanity

When he went to meet her at midnight and comforted her and sneaked away from the bedroom like a culprit…it was humanity

When cancelled his HM to save his Ex, it was his humanity

Feeding her soup, guilt tripping his wife to apologize to her, beating up his house help at her instigation is all out of humanity

Now I pray to know where did his humanity go when he shoved away his wife twice, made her feel inadequate and not even bother to apologize to her…

Where did his humanity go when he ditched his wife to deal with her heartbreak on her own that night and returned home without caring to know about her safety and well-being..

Can we come up with one thing that this man has done after Warangal night that can be termed as redemption to seek forgiveness….

Abhi thak R ka Redemption kahi dik nahi raha hai but he deserves forgiveness ….Does the man have any intentions to redeem himself at the first place…let’s just know that first before deciding whether he deserves forgiveness or not…

Comments in blue…

Originally posted by: Anu1975

Who are you and I to decide what Pallavi and Raghav deserve and in the same breath Raghav deserves forgiveness because his crime isn’t big enough for the relationship to be cancelled??? Contradiction at its best!!!

Let the Man repent first then Pallavi can decide whether he deserves forgiveness or not and if sleeping outside her home, trying to kill himself and walking on the coal is repenting then I Will Dare to Say, even if he is the last man on the earth, she should not end up with him!!!

No relationship is worth it’s salt if the person in the relationship lack emotional strength to accept their flaws and work on it in a realistic way an instead resort to self harm as solution…

And self harm requires strength!! really??? So people who resort to self harm coz tiltok got banned, failed in Exams, Love failure, business failure showed strength…I beg to differ…it’s just a moment of weakness that people resort to self harm…it’s moment of weakness when they think life is not worth living which is not true, it’s more of escapism from harsh realities of life…and that’s weakness not strength…

Raghav right now needs a reality check or a therapist not forgiveness or Pallavi…

While I agree with your points about the story, I don't think it's accurate to characterize self-harm or suicide as either strength or weakness.

I am not a mental health expert (and anyone reading this, please talk to one if you recognize any symptoms that I'm about to describe), but this is what I've learned by listening to people who have encountered this issue in their lives:

Suicidal depression is not one moment; it's a persistent state of feeling insufficient to face daily life, which develops over time. This may feel like weakness or unworthiness, but it is biochemical, not a character trait of the person.

The decision to self-harm coincides with a sense of relief and calm resolve ("sudden brightening" of mood), which can feel like strength to the person who has deliberated for a while.

It's not surprising that someone with Raghav's traumatic past and habit of abusing alcohol (he's never a happy drunk) would contemplate suicide. I don't want to shame mental illness by calling the suicide attempt a selfish decision, because a person in that state of mind is vulnerable to the brightening after a period of depression.

Nevertheless, it is egoistic of Raghav to make the situation all about whether his love is true, rather than Pallavi needing time and space. And if Raghav felt love for Pallavi (assuming that he can feel anything other than suicidal depression), it would be unthinkable to slit his wrist or walk on coals, because he wouldn't want Pallavi to feel any worse.

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

While I agree with your points about the story, I don't think it's accurate to characterize self-harm or suicide as either strength or weakness.

I am not a mental health expert (and please talk to one if you recognize any symptoms that I'm about to describe), but this is what I've learned by listening to people who have encountered this issue in their lives:

Suicidal depression is not one moment; it's a persistent state of feeling insufficient to face daily life, which develops over time. This may feel like weakness or unworthiness, but it is biochemical, not a character trait of the person.

The decision to self-harm coincides with a sense of relief and calm resolve ("sudden brightening" of mood), which can feel like strength to the person who has deliberated for a while.

It's not surprising that someone with Raghav's traumatic past and habit of abusing alcohol (he's never a happy drunk) would contemplate suicide. I don't want to shame mental illness by calling the suicide attempt a selfish decision, because a person in that state of mind is vulnerable to the brightening after a period of depression.

Nevertheless, it is egoistic of Raghav to make the situation all about whether his love is true, rather than Pallavi needing time and space. And if Raghav felt love for Pallavi (assuming that he can feel anything other than suicidal depression), it would be unthinkable to slit his wrist or walk on coals, because he wouldn't want Pallavi to feel any worse.

While I appreciate your point of view, no where in my post I have mentioned about people suffered from Mental health issue or depression resorting to self harm…

My post was in response to a statement that self harm requires strength to defend Raghav’s actions, which in my personal opinion I disagree…I do believe it’s a momentary psychological state when a person believes that they don’t deserve to live for reasons ranging from failure in love, failing in a board Exam to loosing money, to many events and some times just one time event..

While in context to the show..Raghav has had his own share of suffering but he has not been shown to be someone with mental health issue or depression…on the contrary Mandar could be termed as someone suffering from some kind of mental health issue which turned him into someone we saw..

Originally posted by: missFiesty_69

Since people are very fond of this: Imagine, if your closed ones, your best friend, sister or someone whom you knew was in such a predicament, will we recommend them to give the husband a second chance? Kis basis pe? We would ask her to ditch it and get away from this toxic relationship as soon as possible.

I just wanted to reply to this part:

I know multiple people that did go through something similar. It was a similar kind of betrayal, with a far far worse outcome. I don't want to spill their stories all over the internet but I'll just tell you that these couples were married and had more invested into their relationship than what we're seeing on MHRW.

My gut reaction when I heard about these similar betrayals was to curse out their husbands. And I did, in my head. But that's not what I told them to their faces. They didn't need that from me. They were too heartbroken to want to deal with someone couldn't understand their conflicting emotions.

You know what I told one of the women? I told her to decide for herself what she wanted. I asked her if the pain of his mistake was worse than the pain of being without him. Because being in love with someone doesn't come easy, nor does it come multiple times for everyone. I told her that if she truly loved her husband then there was nothing shameful or wrong about wanting to make it work. Because there is nothing wrong with that. There is no one rule book that we must follow in our lives.

Just because we, an outsider, may think that x person is not good enough for y person, doesn't mean that y person actually thinks that way. Just because we may may not be able to move past something, doesn't mean that y person won't.

Love has no reason. There's no black and white way of looking at this because we're talking about feelings here. These are emotions that you can't just switch off because someone did something that hurt you. If you could then I don't think it was real love to begin with.

I always want my friends to be happy - to find their happiness. If that happiness lies in/with someone that i still don't even approve of, what has that got to do with me? If she's happy in that relationship, then she just is. I don't need to dig into it deeper than that. Who am I to determine what makes someone else happy?

That is beautifully written, fria319. While I agree with you, I have these points to add:

Indulging one's feelings is not the wisest way to live life. Raghav indulged his feelings for his ex and made a mess; Pallavi is trying to be wiser. She knows that Raghav is capable of committing the same betrayal again. If Pallavi wants to love Raghav from afar, or break her maṅgalasūtra and wait for her feelings to die, there's nothing wrong with that.

Pallavi understands that there are much deeper, recurring problems of domestic (and pre-domestic) abuse by Raghav. Violence, racketeering and other crimes, drunken refusal to communicate, stealing (evidence from under her pillow), habitual lying ... Adultery is just the most recent blatant expression of Raghav's disregard for Pallavi. Pallavi knows that Raghav plays with fire until there are consequences, then says he'll change, but backslides easily. If she doesn't want a lifetime of disappointment, there's nothing wrong with that.

In real life, we would be outsiders, but here we are observers of Raghav's behaviour and even his thoughts. Even Luṅgīvālā Raghav believes that Raghav never put in the effort that it takes to be an adequate husband.

If Pallavi were a real person, I would have to accept her decision. Pallavi is fictional, and as consumers of fiction, all of us have the right to disagree with how Pallavi's decision is written.

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

That is beautifully written, fria319. While I agree with you, I have these points to add:

Indulging one's feelings is not the wisest way to live life. Raghav indulged his feelings for his ex and made a mess; Pallavi is trying to be wiser. She knows that Raghav is capable of committing the same betrayal again. If Pallavi wants to love Raghav from afar, or break her maṅgalasūtra and wait for her feelings to die, there's nothing wrong with that.

Pallavi understands that there are much deeper, recurring problems of domestic (and pre-domestic) abuse by Raghav. Violence, racketeering and other crimes, drunken refusal to communicate, stealing (evidence from under her pillow), habitual lying ... Adultery is just the most recent blatant expression of Raghav's disregard for Pallavi. Pallavi knows that Raghav plays with fire until there are consequences, then says he'll change, but backslides easily. If she doesn't want a lifetime of disappointment, there's nothing wrong with that.

In real life, we would be outsiders, but here we are observers of Raghav's behaviour and even his thoughts. Even Luṅgīvālā Raghav believes that Raghav never put in the effort that it takes to be an adequate husband.

If Pallavi were a real person, I would have to accept her decision. Pallavi is fictional, and as consumers of fiction, all of us have the right to disagree with how Pallavi's decision is written.

Thank you.

@bold: That's where we completely differ in opinions - I don't think Raghav indulged in his feelings. Nor would I classify what happened as adultery in the form that you're using it in your response.

Regardless, I will just say that love is not logical and cannot be logical. It is all feelings. There's also no guarantee that a person will commit the same mistake twice.

I've personally seen real verbal, physical, and mental domestic abuse - while Raghav unfairly unleashed his anger out on P, it wasn't domestic abuse. Violence ? They've done it to each other. Tbh P more than R at this point. This show isn't PC. Sure that's DV but the show isn't treating it as such, so I'm not sure what you want me to say about that lol. Lying? They've done it to each other. It was wrong when both of them did it. What other "crimes" has R actually committed that fall under the domestic abuse you're charging him with? Refusing to communicate is not domestic abuse. It's just being a bad communicator. Stealing evidence? I wouldn't classify that as abuse either. It's being deceptive.

I mean, are you telling me you've never yelled at a family member? Have you never been wrong in your anger? Have you never unleashed your frustrations of your own life at others? That's human. It's wrong, but it's human. I wouldn't say what's been shown so far is abuse. That's a very heavy word to use here. And I think the use of it here belittles what people who suffer real abuse go through. Sorry, that's a very triggering term for me.

Showing anger to someone, I don't think thats abuse. Then anyone who gets upset at another would be accused of domestic abuse. When you use that anger to control or scare someone - that's abuse.

I'm not saying Raghav was ever right. I've never said that. IDK if you've ever come across any of my posts before, but I come after both Raghav and Pallavi, hard, when I think they deserve it.

I'm not saying Pallavi has to, or should, forgive Raghav either. I'm just saying we as the outsiders should be open to the fact that she can do either. She can choose to forgive, and she can choose to not forgive.

Of course you have the right to disagree. We all do, and have, for that matter, with the different tracks on this show. I'm just trying to present another point. I was essentially told more than once on this very forum that I need to look at Pallavi through her eyes. View her decisions through who she is. And that's all I'm doing once again.

There's absolutely nothing wrong in Pallavi leaving Raghav once and for all. I will agree with whatever decision Pallavi decides to make.

Originally posted by: -abz-

@bold- She fell in love only after he chose to rectify his mistake, big difference. The two married unwillingly. Love happened later.

Also, that was all fair until he indulged in infidelity. He thrived on challenges and hence he was readily gaslighting her...so his challenge finishes with his ex. Pallavi ain't his punching bag, she didn't choose to be one. She vocalised it in clear words.

She definitely fell in love after he rectified her mistake. Looks like she will continue to fall more in love with him as he continues to do so.

Pallavi's efforts to "improve" lives around her stems from her need to be needed*. Raghav gives her that. His needing her and his emotional dependency on her is what seals the attraction for him as love.

In that they are very compatible and will have a happy ending.

* Ignore if you do not believe in love languages. Imo her love language is acts of deed and she relishes relationships where she is needed. Everybody does but this trait is a bit more in Pallavi. I found no other way to understand her attachment to Ds and disengagement with her own brother.

P. S: Raghav has not cheated and yes the situation is dicey. This debate has been done to death in the forum, there is nothing new I can add and bored of that thread long back 🤷‍♂️.

Originally posted by: Ruhi.007

She definitely fell in love after he rectified her mistake. Looks like she will continue to fall more in love with him as he continues to do so.

Pallavi's efforts to "improve" lives around her stems from her need to be needed*. Raghav gives her that. His needing her and his emotional dependency on her is what seals the attraction for him as love.

In that they are very compatible and will have a happy ending.

* Ignore if you do not believe in love languages. Imo her love language is acts of deed and she relishes relationships where she is needed. Everybody does but this trait is a bit more in Pallavi. I found no other way to understand her attachment to Ds and disengagement with her own brother.

P. S: Raghav has not cheated and yes the situation is dicey. This debate has been done to death in the forum, there is nothing new I can add and bored of that thread long back 🤷‍♂️.

I think it will be a happy ending even if she stays. Pallavi will get a life long project which she can keep sacrificing for and Raghav will have someone who keeps challenging him. I feel like sacrificing for others makes Pallavi feel good about herself so why not. She'll keep using her danda and my way or the highway regarding her morals and Raghav will retaliate with his pathetic communication, lies, and anger issues. Agar Raghav emotional ho gaya he cheated but if they chose to conveniently forget about that and go back too her was too drunk blah blah.. it wouldn't be cheating [I don't think he had romantic feeling for Esha, he just felt guilty(more like Raghav 90% of the time) and care because of the situation] but would be deception which is what he has always done in front of the people he want in his life like Amma and Keerthi. Between all this conflict which will keep getting solved with surface level remedies they will eventual do a little romance and consummate if family members want babies and tadaa happy ending🤔 They both have flaws and their flaws fit together.

Whether their marriage is healthy or not that idk.. Haven't seen some real understanding, communication, space in it.

Originally posted by: fria319

I just wanted to reply to this part:

I know multiple people that did go through something similar. It was a similar kind of betrayal, with a far far worse outcome. I don't want to spill their stories all over the internet but I'll just tell you that these couples were married and had more invested into their relationship than what we're seeing on MHRW.

My gut reaction when I heard about these similar betrayals was to curse out their husbands. And I did, in my head. But that's not what I told them to their faces. They didn't need that from me. They were too heartbroken to want to deal with someone couldn't understand their conflicting emotions.

You know what I told one of the women? I told her to decide for herself what she wanted. I asked her if the pain of his mistake was worse than the pain of being without him. Because being in love with someone doesn't come easy, nor does it come multiple times for everyone. I told her that if she truly loved her husband then there was nothing shameful or wrong about wanting to make it work. Because there is nothing wrong with that. There is no one rule book that we must follow in our lives.

Just because we, an outsider, may think that x person is not good enough for y person, doesn't mean that y person actually thinks that way. Just because we may may not be able to move past something, doesn't mean that y person won't.

Love has no reason. There's no black and white way of looking at this because we're talking about feelings here. These are emotions that you can't just switch off because someone did something that hurt you. If you could then I don't think it was real love to begin with.

I always want my friends to be happy - to find their happiness. If that happiness lies in/with someone that i still don't even approve of, what has that got to do with me? If she's happy in that relationship, then she just is. I don't need to dig into it deeper than that. Who am I to determine what makes someone else happy?

This has my heart Fria ❤️

Very well put 👏👏👏