Originally posted by: euphoric
Thanks for asking right questions and raising right issues... I don't agree a bit with your perspective but the concerns and outlook concerning with the issues you have raised, definitely, needs to be reassessed. Thanks for the tag. How do you write so beautifully, you blow my mind.
1. Suicide... For the longest time, I thought suicide is for people who are weak and I was foolish. It takes guts to give up and such people needs immediate help. You think it was emotional manipulation... In two episodes, we have seen two suicide accounts... one fake that of Esha's and one Raghav's! What Esha does is emotional manipulation what Raghav is resorting to is an expression of self-loathin, worthlessness and condemnation. You know Soni, I've felt this too till I spoke to people who were suicidal. It changed my perspective, how foolish I was then. Why do people consider the ones who are suicidal as weak. Is it easy to take your own life, no it's not, it takes guts to do that? Just think of that one moment where a person is at such a dark place in their head that dying seems to be easier than living. Raghav hadn't even told Pallavi he's pulling this attempt. He saw he was all alone and life is not worth living. He thought of cutting himself, had Amma and Keerti not come on time, he would have died. What is emotional manipulation in this. Did he slit his hand before Pallavi and ask her to come home, Pallavi didn't know he was doing this? He was in a dark place that time and I'm glad Amma and Keerti came in time. I dread thinking if he had died, would Pallavi be able to live, thinking he killed himself because he was so lonely and dejected and saw no hope, she's a widow for the second time. Waise emotional blackmail is what Pallavi was trying to pull on Raghav to make him quit smuggling. Without making him see reason of her stand, she just went to another extreme. Ufff...
2. Who deserves what... My question is who are you and I to decide what Pallavi deserves or what Raghav deserves. I remember during Mandar track when Pallavi forgot Raghav's award function, was ready to feed Mandar food on family's insistence... people directed guns at Pallavi saying oh she's emotionally cheating on Raghav and let her go back to Mandar once. And now when Raghav was emotionally manipulated the same the guns are directed on Raghav. Is this how relationship works? No! Men are emotionally challenged and do not know how to handle emotional situations. Raghav never leaned towards Esha... he was made to believe that he was a consensual partner with onslaught of sob story. Pallavi and Raghav both have made their share of mistakes... undoubtedly Raghav's mistakes are way more than Pallavi's but relationships are not books of accounts. There is no balance sheets keeping a record of profit and loss. And if that seeps in relationships are mere obligations. Pallavi deserves to be loved unconditionally. Raghav loves her unconditionally and she will shortly realise that and return back to him. Both are good people and made mistakes because of their goodness. It's not easy to emotionally manipulate a selfish person but it's easy to manipulate a good person. Raghav has undoubtedly made more severe mistakes and is therefore atoning for those. Love isn't a contract where you keep records and checks. It's about accepting each other's flaws and supporting each other in good and bad times.
Raghav has made more than his share of mistakes... he needs to repent, he needs to rise and be the man worthy enough for Pallavi. We have no doubt he will.
3. Men who have stayed alone for a good part of their lives, do face issues in domestication. Not because, they don't want to... but because they don't know how to. Overnight things don't change. Albeit Pallavi has always held his best intentions while asking him to quit alcohol. But we know there are rehab centres for addicts and medication is needed. Raghav has emotionally relied on alcohol for years at a stretch. Relapse happens in so many cases and when you are emotionally vulnerable, it is all the more easy. With Esha in that closed room too, it was the same thing. Yes, he shouldn't have indulged in drinks with her but it was a case of bad judgment. Just like Pallavi didn't pay heed to Raghav's speculations of Mandar, Raghav let his guards down too. Procrastination doesn't call for execution btw. Arre if it is that easy to quit alcohol, there would be no rehab centres. Like you once told me people can't even quit a tea or coffee addiction overnight and this is alcohol we are talking about which he's been drinking since 10 yrs straight. Pallavi should be more understanding (she's the mature one in the relationship) instead of considering him to be a project. She needs to give him time to come around. Only with a supportive family can alcohol addition be handled.
4. I agree Raghav made error on error as he shunned Pallavi and made her feel less. But I don't think I would have accepted it if he had succumbed to Pallavi's seduction when he felt dirty himself. He did try to tell her but he failed and then he had resolved to tell her but she heard it. There are men like Mandar and then there are men like Raghav. Mandar who was pure evil yet kept a garb and Raghav who professes a devil in making yet is so aware of his wrongs and is capable of redemption. He feels guilt like none other. And only one who knows to acknowledge the wrong they do, can work to correct them. I'm so glad that they didn't show him proceed with her advances. I would be mad. I feel he could have been gentler but kal woh aag pe chalega for this mistake. Soni the only reason he deserves a second chance is because he feels tremendous guilt. He accepts his mistakes, is apologetic about it, repents and tries to make amends. Also, if we keep punishing people for mistakes they commit, everyone will be punished because no human being is without sin.
And as far as the toxicity of the relationship is concerned, this relationship is a journey of both of their liberation. Pallavi was liberated from the abyss of her past, she emerged as a winged bird soaring heights with confidence while Raghav is to be liberated from the shackles that hold his soul. This is no toxic.
If Raghav was stupid to hand himself over to police to get her justice for Mandar's accident... what was Pallavi when she wanted to let Sulo go scot-free in the earlier case related to Keerti and VD? Raghav's ONS declaration in front of 20 people and Pallavi calling police to RR mansion without once taking Amma in confidence... both were wrong handling of situations.
They are both beautiful because they are flawed. I am glad they are both not idealistic! Both have made mistake, both are flawed, both will learn and grow together to become better version of themselves.
Raghav could have used his don tactics and forced her to be with him. He could have twisted her circumstances again if he wished to after all if he could do it to marry her why not now. But he's not doing any of those, instead he's burning to earn her forgiveness. That itself is a proof that he is a changed man. He's still reforming, recasting of iron takes time. And this is the same man, who gave her space post marriage to showcase her talent, who gave her space to build her career, who gave her space to help her ex-husband, who gave her space to dictate the dynamics of their relationship. I fail to remember one instance when the changed Raghav has tried to twist her to do his bidding. If at all, she was the fire to his fuel!
You know we discussed this theory in idealogy track after the promo was out that she'll emotionally distance herself from him and that he may use his don tactics to get her to stay. I'm glad right now he's hanging his head in shame and not doing more damage. He needs to go through a redemption because he's Pallavi ka Raghav not Raghav Rao. He has always given her space and the relationship has literally been as per her liking. He's always put her comfort first. She's the one dictating progress of their relationship.
And I am sure, had he been complacent in his approach and let her have her "space" we would have called him out for being uncaring towards her predicament. Karo toh bhi mushkil na karo toh bhi.
5. What do you think will make Pallavi happy? To continue to believe and live with the fact that she was cheated? Be the same old dead Pallavi Deshmukh who made no heed to herself? Be a stone herself by killing everything thats left inside her? Sorry... she's numbing to her physical pain too and will soon be a living corpse at this rate. She would rather be happy when she knows that Raghav didn't cheat on her and everything isn't lost for her. Yes, she should not take him on face value anymore but at the same point of time, she deserves to know the truth of that night before she takes a call for herself. She must know she's loved so that she's not lost in the abyss she's pushing herself into. She's killing her self slowly, you can see her living like a corpse. She may build the biggest Empire and showrooms but will she be happy without the person she loves the most (hate you bolne se sach nai badalta) He is the blood that runs in her veins. She can't separate him from herself. She's going to know the truth and fight for them and their relationship.
And no I don't believe in happy endings. If its a journey you evolve through it. They are humans and they will make mistakes. But sustenance of togetherness is to fight the battle along with the other and not to keep feeling the long burnt pyre of old wounds between each other!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
