Karnandavas os-kahani mei twist-LAST part updtd pg 11

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Nikhita

@nuckts

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

guys this is the first os by me on MB so here is the given situation:

at kridangan after karna comes instead of kunti getting unconscious she blurts out the truth in front of evryone

kaurav team along with shakuni get very angry whereas bheeshma,vidur,kripacharya accept him gracefully as now he has an identity

yudhishthir though shocked due to his mother's deed,but thinks it was not karna's fault so he accepts him gracefully😲😳

bheem was not happy but the thought of this scene making kauravas angry makes him very happy😆😆

arjun was in dilemma whether he should accept him as a brother or not😕,nakul was following his brothers and thought to accept him as well😃

sahdev was getting an unusual poorvabhaas that something shocking but good will happen so he was happy.😛

so now technically karna was with dharma's side👏

but he and arjun had shared a relationship of being silent

slowly incidents like lakshagrah took place and gradually draupadi's swayamvar

all brothers insisted karna to participate first in swayamvar but draupadi was already had arjun in mind by lord's wish as well as her own wish

she denied karna from participating saying that -ok you ar not a sootputra by birth but your upbringing is done in a soot family so i can't marry you"

karna was hurt but then he remained silent and walked away then arjun won her in swayamvar and when he brought her towards their hut,kunti as per habit (of having 5 children with her)-jo bhi hai tum bhai aapas mei baant lo

so right now the story is same about pandava family but with inclusion of karna in it and he is with dharma now

so what do you guys feel about this story should i continue or not?

current scenario- pandavas including karna are called at HP and slowly pandavas's marriage is accepted by them as well as HP family

One day at evening when all the tasks of karna and arjun were completed they were seperately walking in their garden lost in their own thoughts

Guru Drona arrives there

arj-pranipaat guruji!

dro-pranipaat putra

kar-pranipaat guru dronacharya

but guru dronacharya ignores him and starts talking to arjun

arjun notices that but doesn't say anything ,karna leaves from there

arju-guruji aapne jyeshth bhrata ko praniapaat kyu nahi kaha?

dro-wo to sanjog se tumhara bhrata hai putra kintu mere shishya se tulna karne chala tha wo

arj-to kya hua? wo bhi to ek kshatriya hai,parvarish suto ki ho to bhi usme rakht to kshatriya ka hi behta hai na

dro-fir bhi vishwa ke sarva shreshth dhanurdhar keval tum ho aur iss baat ko agar koi chunauti dega to uska saath mai kabhi nahi dunga

after that dronacharya stay at their place for few days and leave

later arjun comes to karna's room one day

kar-aao mere anuj,baitho

arj-mai aapka swabhav samajh nahi paa raha hu jyeshth aap to mujse itni grihna karte aaye hai to jabse aapko aapki pehchaan ka pata chala hai

tabse aap mujhse itni acchese baat kaise karte hai?kya shatruta ka smaran nahi hota

kar-vaastav mei arjun meri kabhi tumse shatruta thi hi nahi,meri spardha humne prapt kiye huye shikshan mei nahi thi parantu humme diye huye shikhshan mei thi

mai gaya tha guru drona ke pass shikshan prapt karne kintu unhone mujhe thukra diya,kaha ki sutputra ko wo nahi sikhate

jaante ho maine koshish ki suto ki tarah banne ki,sochta tha ki agar mai sutputra hu to yeh saamarth mujhme kyu hai? aur agar yeh saamarth hai to iske koi upyog hai bhi ya nahi?

jab aapke paas bal ho kintu maargdarshan na ho to aap bhatakne lagte ho ,kahi na kahi aapme iccha hoti hai ki log aapko jaane aur wo iccha

spardha ka roop dhaaran kar leti hai,mere niji jeevan mei tumse koi shatruta nahi hai kintu meri spardha ab tak keval guru dron ne di hui saamarth se thi

arjun's eyes were tear filled with that 😭😭

arj-kash humne baalpan saath mei bitaya hota bhrata to hum dono bilkul ek samaan hote

kar-to kya hua? baalpan nahi to kamse kam hum ek saath ab to hai,aaj mere hridaya se spardha ki bhaavna nashth ho chuki hai

arjun-to kya hum mitra ke bhaati reh sakte hai jyeshth😭

kar-awayshya mujhe kshama kar do arjun😭

and they hug each other👏

kunti arrives

KaJu-pranipaat mata

kunti-aayushmaan putro

kunti-putra karna mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai

kar-ha kahiye maate

ku-putra mai soch rahi thi ab to tumhare anujo ka bhi vivah ho chuka hai to ab tumhara bhi vivah humme shigra kar dena chahiye

arjun passes a teasing glance at karna😉😆

kunti-to humme yeh dekhna hoga ki kaunsi rajkumari ka ab swayamvar racha jaega

kar-mata! iss waqt agar mai vivah karu bhi to mai kissi rajkumari se nahi karna chahunga

kunti,arjun-kyu?

kar-mata jo anubhav mujhe draupadi ke swayamvar mei prapt hua hai ho sakta hai baaki rajkumariya bhi yehi sochti ho mai iss waqt ek aur apmaan nahi sehna chahta

arjun mai nahi chahta ki humare beech khaaskar mere man mei jo spardha ki bhavna nashth hui hai wo phirse panpe,draupadi ki mai bahut izzat karta hu

kyunki mai jaanta hu ki mai aur wo apne hisaab se bahut acche hai,kintu jab apne aap mei shresth ho ya uttam ho zaruri to nahi ki aise do vyakti ek dusre ke liye yogya ho

vivah koi spardha nahi hai jaha ek shreshth hai aur dusra nahi, vivah mei shreshtha nahi ek dusre ke liye yogyata honi chahiye,mai nahi jaanta ki koi

bhi rajkumai mujhe kabhi samajh paayegi

precap:pandavas sitting in their room

a person comes

bheem-guptchar jyeshth kaha hai koi sandesh?

guptchar-wo nadi tat par hai ek...

arjun-ek kya?😕

guptchar-ek ...kanya ke saath🤢

pandavas-kya!😲

nakul-humme bhi dekhna hai ki jyeshth bhrata chup cupke kinse milne jaate hai😉

yudhishthir-nakul yeh adharma hai,mai isme tumhara saath nahi de sakta,par mai baaki bhaiyo ko yeh karne se rok bhi nahi sakta

bheem- thik hai jyeshth hum kal hi sarva jyeshth aur uss kanya ko dekhne nadi tat par jaaenge

sahdev-wo bhi chupke se

arjun-awayshya sahdev mai bhi dekhna chahta hu ki humare jyeshth bhrata karna ke man mei kya hai yeh kaunsi kanya samajh sakti hai😉

INDEX:

part 1 and part 2-pg1

part 3-pg2

part 4-pg4

part 5-pg6

part6-pg8

part7-pg11

Edited by nuckts - 10 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Roselind

@Roselind

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Plz continue...😊

Good going...😊

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shavii

@shavii

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

i like ur concept 👏👏

but u shd have made draupadi marry karn to to duri jal jaatha in anger 🤣

dp calling karn arya and duri burns in anger and shakuni mama too🤣 that scene would have been fun
but any way like ur way of taking the story

u shd make bheem hug karn tightly to make duriyodan jealous 😆😆😆😆 when duri passes bheem feeding karn laddo for no reason and hugging him saying meri jhest brata 😆😆😆🤗
yudi saying i cant do adharm but cant stop u people hahaa 😆

wow now all 4 brother catching elder brother romancing vrishali and helping him to get married which will be funny to watch 😆
write more 😆

i am waiting to read it 😆

Edited by shavii - 11 years ago

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Nikhita

@nuckts

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Roselind
Plz continue...😊
Good going...😊

thank you for commenting first!!!!!!!!😊

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Nikhita

@nuckts

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: shavii
i like ur concept 👏👏

but u shd have made draupadi marry karn to to duri jal jaatha in anger 🤣

dp calling karn arya and duri burns in anger and shakuni mama too🤣 that scene would have been fun
but any way like ur way of taking the story

u shd make bheem hug karn tightly to make duriyodan jealous 😆 when duri passes bheem feeding karn laddo for no reason and hugging him saying meri jhest brata 🤗
yudi saying i cant do adharm but cant stop u people hahaa 😆

wow now all 4 brother catching elder brother romancing vrishali and helping him to get married which will be funny to watch 😆
write more 😆

i am waiting to read it 😆

ya i know scenes u have suggested are very funny

thanks for that 😊

about draupadi n karna-see i am a huge karna fan but rather than justifying his mistakes i believe that he could have adjusted with his fate(about draupadi swayamvar atleast coz i hate women being insulted)

agar maine karna ko bhi uska hubby banaya hota to draupadi ke divine hone par joke banta which i do not want atleast through my story

so its just fun

besides i want karna-vrushali to have a love story where karna has a broken heart due to draupadi n vrushali with her cuteness n innocence mends it n along with that pandavas too enjoy their moment

i loved bheem hidimba's love story with a sprinkle of arjun,nakul,sahdev teasing😉😆

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Nikhita

@nuckts

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

part 2:(guys karna-vrushali story is not totally like what is shown in mritunjaya ,remember his brothers are now spying on him he he😉😆)

kunti-thik hai putra shayad tumhe samay ki awashakta hai

kar-hmm.. aap thik keh rahi hai maate

arj-chaliye ab hum sab so jaate hai, shubhratri

ka,kun-shubhratri

next day:

karna was performing his morning prayers to lord surya at nadi tat

he heard a voice "bachaiye koi bachaiye mujhe"

first time in his life his prayers were disturbed and he opened his eyes,apologized to lord surya for doing so

and saw that in the river a girl is drowning in the water

he without thinking anything just took a dive and entered the water and saved the girl

and came on the ground with having girl in his arms

kar-suno kanya tum thik to ho?

girl-ha.hmm

kar-tum bol kyu nahi rahi ho?

girl-after sometime she became fine

kar-shukr hai bhagwaan ka!

girk-shukriya

kar-arre koi baat nahi yeh to mera kartavya tha

girl-aap rajgharane ke prateet hote hai mujhe jaisi sootkanya ko bachana aap ke liye awashyak nahi that kintu phir bhi..

kar-kya aap sutkanya hai? aap humare kul ke liye bahut khubsoorat hai

girl-JI!!!

kar-arthat mera kehne ka tatparya hai ki aapko kabhi iss nagar mei dekha nahi hai

girl-ji mai kuch dino pehle hi aayi hu yaha pe saarthi satysen mere bhrata hai

kar-aapka naam?

girl-ji mera naam vrushali hai,aur aapka?

kar-raadheya

girl-arthaat aap saarthi adirath aur radha ma ke putra hai?

ka-ek tarahse ha,unhone hi muje paalposs kar bada kia hai

vru-ohh accha,

some other girls come there

g1-pranipaat rajkumar karna !arre vrushali to thik to hai na?

vru-rajkumar?kintu aapne to kaha tha ki aap ..

kar-ji ha maine kaha ki unhone mujhe bada kia hai,kintu janma se mai rajmaata kunti ka putra hu

vru-accha arre ha yeh aapka mukut hai na

kar-ji kya aap mujhe wo saup sakti hai aapke pass hai na isiliye ,maine usse soorya pooja se purva yahi par rakh dia tha

vru-ji lijie,she picks it up, hey bhagwaan kitna bhaari hai ye,aap isse sir pe rakhte honge to aapke sir mei dard nahi hota hoga kya?

karna laughs at that,-ha hota to hai,parantu ab iski aadat hai mujhe

g2-vrushali rajkumar se aise baat nahi karte chalo yahase pranipaat rajkumar

kar-pranipaat

vru-aree kyu nahi bolungi? mai stri hu mera janma siddh adhikaar hai bolna then turninig towards karna pranipaat aur ha mujhhe bachane ke liye shukriya

kar-(impressed by her innocence) arre ruko aise kaise jaogi,tum bheeg chuki ho ek kaam karo yeh lo mera uttariya isse apne aap ko dhak lo aur aap sab saheliya inke aas pass hi rahiye

inhe aisi haalat mei akele chodna aur aap sab striya ho to ek kaam karte hai,inki suraksha ke liye mai bhi aap sabke saath chalta hu

slowly her every friend goes to their house,vrushali's house was the last destination.

kar-to tumhe iss baat ka bhay nahi hai ki tum ek rajkumar ke saath iss tarah akele ja rahi ho

vru-nahi rajkumar ka kartavya hai apni praja ka rakshan banna ,praja ke liye musibat banna nahi aur waise bhi mujhe aap par poorna vishwaas hai

karna was pleased to hear that

"ladoo,taja taja ladoo"

vru-arre waah ladoo mujhe ladoo bahut pasand hai wo bhi boondi ke

kar-aapko khana hai?

vru-ji agar aapko aapatti na ho to

kar-chaliye

and they started eating that

unaware that someone was staring at them

rajbhavan:

yudhi-pata nahi jyeshth dinbhar se kaha reh gaye hai?

naku-ha jabse wo humare bhrata hai yeh pata chala hai bahut fikr hoti hai unki

arju-wo raajniti ke baare mei kuch nahi jaante

sahd-kahi mamashree shakuni ne koi naya shadyantra to nahi racha?

bheem-chinta mat karo maine guptchar bheja hai

and her comes the guptchar

bheem-guptchar jyeshth kaha hai koi sandesh?

guptchar-wo nadi tat par hai ek...Ouch

arjun-ek kya?Confused

guptchar-ek ...kanya ke saathDead

pandavas-kya!Shocked

nakul-humme bhi dekhna hai ki jyeshth bhrata chup cupke kinse milne jaate haiWink

yudhishthir-nakul yeh adharma hai,mai isme tumhara saath nahi de sakta,par mai baaki bhaiyo ko yeh karne se rok bhi nahi sakta

bheem- thik hai jyeshth hum kal hi sarva jyeshth aur uss kanya ko dekhne nadi tat par jaaenge

sahdev-wo bhi chupke se

arjun-awayshya sahdev mai bhi dekhna chahta hu ki humare jyeshth bhrata karna ke man mei kya hai yeh kaunsi kanya samajh sakti haiWink

guptchar wo kanya kaun hai?

gu-ji wo ek sutkanya hai

arju-jaisa ki jyeshth ne kaha tha,jo unhe samjhe unse behtar kaun ho sakti hai?

bheem-mujhe to samajh nahi aata jyeshth itni dur gaye hai,unhone kuch khaaya bhi ya nahi

gu-ji ha unhone ladoo khaaye hai na

bheem-kya ladoo!!!!!!

gu-ha taje taje ladoo ban rahe the raaste mei to unhone khaa liye

arju-wo kanya bhi thi saath mei?

gu-ji rajkumar,usine kaha tha ki usse ladoo khaane hai

arjun-ab to hone waali bhabhishree se milna hi padega

precap:

bheem-sarva jyeshth bhrata karna yeh lijiye ladoo khaiye

kar-bheem mujhe nahi chahiye

bh-arre khaiye na..

and from a distance duryodhan is watching them

bheem-jyeshth kitne din huye hai aapko humara bhrata ghoshit hoke ,mai aaj aapko gale lagana chahta hu

and he hugs him tightly

kar-bheem mujhe saansa to lene do

sah-bhrata bheem ka aalingan kuch aisa hi hota hai,arre aap ladoo to kahiye jyeshth

kar-sahdev mai aaj ke din aur ladoo nahi kha sakta

pandavas(excluding yudhishthir)-aur ladoo?

bh-matlab aaj aapne ladoo kha liye hai jyeshth kab?

karna is confused now but has a slight blush on his face.😳

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shavii

@shavii

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

omg omg 😲 u used laddo one and hugging part 🤣

kyunki brata bhi kabhi laddo kayi thi😆😆

no one more apt one

kyunki karn bhi bheem ka bhai hain bina laddoo kaye kaise re payega yee😆

duri is jealous 🤣
he send guptchar🤣
bheem kitna pyaar karte hain apne anujon se aur apne jhest se...
vrishali ka kya entry ..

tune maari entry and karn ki bachii gandhi🤣

awesome👏

update next part right now make brother helps karn getting married to vrishali 😉😉😉 in subhi haran style 😆 bring madhav into scene to guide it 😉😉😉

karn cant eat laddo as he ate soo much

pakdagaya jhest brata karn🤣🤣🤣
before weird ideas add in my comments and make in longer than ur update better update next part soon😆😆😆

Edited by shavii - 11 years ago

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Nikhita

@nuckts

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: shavii
omg omg 😲 u used laddo one and hugging part 🤣

kyunki brata bhi kabhi laddo kayi thi😆😆

no one more apt one

kyunki karn bhi bheem ka bhai hain bina laddoo kaye kaise re payega yee😆

duri is jealous 🤣
he send guptchar🤣
bheem kitna pyaar karte hain apne anujon se aur apne jhest se...
vrishali ka kya entry ..

tune maari entry and karn ki bachii gandhi🤣

awesome👏

update next part right now make brother helps karn getting married to vrishali 😉😉😉 in subhi haran style 😆 bring madhav into scene to guide it 😉😉😉

karn cant eat laddo as he ate soo much

pakdagaya jhest brata karn🤣🤣🤣
before weird ideas add in my comments and make in longer than ur update better update next part soon😆😆😆