FF: KUCH LUV JAISA - LAST pt pg-72 NOTEpg-75 - Page 18

Chapter 9

She felt something sharp being pierced in her arm and opened her eyes to find roops sitting on her left side while AS on her right side brushing her hand through her hair lovingly. She was lying on bed with a doctor examining her, she moved her eyes on saw him standing at the edge of the bed with his arms folded across his chest along with baaji. Everyone looked tensed especially him, he met her gaze, after a week he didn't expect to see her in such a state.

"kya hua nakku ko ? koi ghabrane wali baat toh nahin?" asked AS worriedly

"ghabrane ki koi baat nahin hai balki yeh toh bahut khushi ki baat hai , apki bahu shayad maa banne wali hai." Replied the doctor smilingly. Nobody could believe his/her ears, both of them once again looked at each other questioning, was all this really true? Was all this actually happening with them? roops jumped up in excitement," sach vaheni maa banne wali hain? Main abhi kala tai , leela tai ko batati hoon." AS couldn't express her happiness in words and had tears of joy in her eyes," doctor aap janti nahin aapne humein kitni acchi khabar sunayi hai." Said AS folding her hands and thanking the almighty. "maine inka khoon test karane ke liye le liya hai , report mein sab theekh se pata chal jayega aur kal aap inhe pure check up ke liye clinic le aayiga..ab main chalti hoon." Advised the doctor, AS kissed her forehead affectionately and said ," aaj tum dono ne humein itni badi khushi di hai ki hum bataa nahin sakte ?.sach aaj hum bahut khush hain?humare dutta ka vansh aage badd raha hai , humein toh yakeen nahin ho raha." Baaji grinned broadly and hugged dutta who was still in a daze," mubarak ho bhau , tune toh pehli ball par chakka maar diya aur mujhe chacha bana diya !" then patted his back proudly. AS got up and went towards him and caressed his face lovingly which brought a smile on his face, slowly the news was sinking in him, nakku sat up and fixed a pillow behind her back quietly, she was lost in her own world and stared into emptiness. AS took out her gold bangles and gave him," ye kangan humari saas ne humein diye the jab hum maa banne wale the ?jaa inhe nakku ko pehna de." He took the bangles and went near her, AS and baaji left the room giving them privacy to share this blissful moment alone.

He sat next to her, she instinctively moved back to maintain a distance with him, he frowned at her action but didn't give it much of a thought, he was too happy to hear the news. He pressed her hand softly, a faint smile lingered on his lips while his eyes glittered in joy, there was a trace of moisture in them as well," nakku aaj tune mera sapna?" she didn't let him finish and asked," maar diya apne usey?" he didn't understand what she was saying so she turned towards him and asked again," us aadmi ko apne maar diya?" she had seen him pointing the gun at a man when she came with a cup of tea for him, she was astonished to witness that cruel side of him. He now clenched his jaw hard on realizing what she was asking him, that man had duped him, he had dealt with that agent for years and was one of the faithful persons he had employed. How could he not punish someone who had broken his trust," usne mera bharosa thoda tha?usey kaise chod deta." He replied bitterly, she looked into his eyes and questioned," toh ? agar koi apka bharosa todega toh aap uski jaan le loge?" he pressed his lips tightly, he didn't like to justify his actions but still he was doing that with her," usne kuch paison ke liye mujhe dhokha diya ???? uski sazaa toh usko milni hi thi." She lowered her head and said," paison ke liye insaan ko kabhi kabhi kuch aisa karna padta hai jo woh nahin chahta." She lifted her head and continued," hum dono se behtar ye kaun ja sakta hai." He glared at her angrily on understanding the real meaning behind her words, he parted his lips to reply that what happened between them was different but just then heard a knock at the door, he turned his neck to see roops standing with the dinner tray ," bhau khaana taiyaar hai, AS apko neeche bula rahi hain?vaheni ka main le ayi hoon." She left the room after keeping the tray on the bedside table. He dropped the bangles that he was holding in annoyance and got up to leave, he didn't want to argue with her but stopped at the door step to inform her," woh aadmi mara nahin zinda hai..teri awaaz ki wajah se pehli baar mera nishana chook gaya."

He got a congratulatory call from kala while climbing down the stairs, she was delighted to know that soon he would become a father, happiness was clearly visible in her voice so was it on the faces of the rest of the family when he joined them at the table. A while back even he had the same expression on his face but like always it was short lived thanks to the person who was actually responsible for creating this memorable moment for him and then ruining it as well. He pushed a few morsels down his throat and smirked inwardly today his long cherished dream had begun to take shape and he desperately wanted it to share with the one who had made all this possible thinking, who would better feel his happiness than her? Who would be more interested in knowing what he was going through than her? But he was wrong, she wasn't there to share the joy he was getting out of seeing his dream finally being fulfilled, she wasn't interested in knowing the gamut of emotions he was going through instead she wanted to know whether he had killed that fraudster or not. What he did in his professional life that shouldn't bother her, he was capable enough to take care of them, he didn't need her opinion nor her advice on what to do and what not to, he pushed the plate kept in front of him slightly in frustration and left the table.

She touched her belly lightly, a new life was growing inside in her, she smiled at the thought of becoming a mother but the smile was not alone it brought along with it tears in her eyes. She would have to part with her child once it comes into this world, she would have to leave him and go away forever, She would miss out on seeing him smile, she would not be around to hold her child in her arms not even then when he would take his first baby steps and more than that she would never hear him call her "ma", tears rolled down her eyes and she wrapped her arms around her belly tightly. She knew before marriage that a day like this would come and somehow she had mentally prepared herself for it but now when all this was actually happening she was feeling weak and helpless.

She closed her eyes and lowered her head, why did sorrow overshadowed her happiness? she imagined Dutta's smiling face, she opened her eyes and wiped off her tears if all this would make him happy she was willing to sacrifice, just for him, she couldn't bear to see him depressed, if she could brighten his life in any way she would do so and that's what she was there for, After all he had never kept her in dark she was aware of everything including his profession, she knew he was a gangster and all that bloodshed was part of it but she had never witnessed it except for a very brief moment when he had held her father captive and now just a few hours back when she saw him pointing the gun at that man she couldn't take it, the fact that he was going to kill somebody astounded her completely. She had never seen that side of him and after getting a glimpse of it she was left stunned, immediately her hand went to her belly, what kind of a world was she bringing her child into? She shuddered at the thought but was relieved that he didn't kill him otherwise at the same time when members of this family were rejoicing the news of her pregnancy somewhere some family would have been mourning at the death of that person. She didn't want anybody to curse their child because of him, she frowned and looked around for him, where was he? It had been long since he went down for dinner, she kept the tray aside she wasn't hungry and went out in search of him. She found him in his cabin sleeping on the couch, she came back with a pillow and a blanket then lifted his head slightly without disturbing him and adjusted the pillow underneath him and covered him with the blanket. She moved her fingers through his tousled hair, she felt sorry for not being there for him when he wanted to share his biggest happiness with her, she was too engrossed in her thoughts that she failed to realize what that priceless moment meant for him. He opened his eyes to see her retreating back. She sat on the bed and traced her fingers on those bangles which he had left for her. The bangles symbolized a huge responsibility, a responsibility of giving an heir to this family, was she capable of doing so she wondered, only time would tell. She picked them up and kept them in the drawer then laid down to sleep.

He came out of the shower with the towel hanging around his neck and found baaji waiting for him, "bhau uss agent ka kya karena hai? Udaa dein?" he nodded his head in negation and said," jaane de usko aur aaghe se bhool kar bhi uske saath koi deal nahin karna." Baaji was surprised with his decision, how could they leave him without punishing him," par bhau usne humein dhokha diya hai?aise kaise usey chod de?humare dhande (profession) mein ye sab kahan chalta hai." He opened his cupboard to take out his kurta and replied," jaane de usey is baar..mujhe bina matlab ke khoon kharaba nahin chaiye." Baaji turned around to leave and saw nakku standing with the breakfast tray behind them, she had overheard their conversation and was glad that he had decided to forgive that agent. He saw her placing the tray on the table through the mirror then began wearing his kurta, he let out a frustrated sigh on noticing that one of the buttons was broken, he lifted his kurta to change when she placed her hand on his shoulder from behind and said," sahab kurta mat badlo main abhi button laga deti hai." She took out a box of needle and threads then came close to him to stitch the button. She looked at him once then dropped her gaze, he seemed to ignore her," kal raat ko maine kuch zyada hi bol diya..aap naraaz hain mujhse?" it was true he was upset with her, partly for what she had said but more at the way she had reacted with him, he couldn't forget the way she had moved back when he sat near her to make her wear those bangles, was she scared of him? Was she not comfortable with him? He recalled their wedding night, he had a heavy burden of guilt on his heart, it was she who lifted off that burden through her comforting words and even after that it was her actions, her thoughts that would ease out the awkwardness in their relation but last night when she was more worried about that agent and the way she tried to distance herself from him not only disturbed but also hurt him a lot. For the people belonging to the under world he was a ruthless gangster and for the people of Patil vadi he was their messiah but with her he was always himself. He stared at her face trying to read her mind, how did she perceive him? As a gangster? As a savior? Or as dutta?," nakku , tu kya sochti hai mere bare mein?" she stopped stitching and looked at him for a moment, she knew what he actually wanted to know then continued to tuck the button," sahab maine apko humesha dusron ki madad karte hue dekha hai, patil vadi ke logon ke liye ladte hue dekha aur ye bhi dekha ki badle mein sab apko kitna pyar aur izzat dete hain ?aapke aaghe haath jod kar khade hote hain par darr ke nahin balki isliye kyunki woh apki izzat karte hain aur main bhi dil se apko apna manti hai isliye kabhi bhi apne man ki baat kehne se peeche nahin hat ti." She moved closer to cut the thread with her teeth then met his intense gaze," par kal jab maine apko kisi ko jaan se marte hue dekha toh main ghabra gayi ." he bit his lower lip and said in his defense," woh mera kaam hai ..aur ye sab maine koi pehli baar toh kiya nahin." She buttoned his kurta," jaanti hoon aapke kaam mein yeh sab hota hai aur aapne pehle bhi kayi baar logon ko ?aur jo beet gaya usey hum badal nahin sakte lekin aaghe toh aap ?" she didn't complete her sentence as she knew he was understanding what she was trying to explain him, she kept her palm on his heart and continued," aayi kehti hai ki bhagwaan aur shaitaan dono yahin humare andhar rehte hain..aur ye hum par hai ki hum kise jagaayein aur kise sulayein .." she always wanted to bring out the best in him and let the beast in him sleep. She leaned on him and rested her head on his chest, he thought for a while, what she said did make sense but he was helpless, he couldn't leave his profession, "nakku, main ye sab nahin chod sakta." She straightened herself and placed his hand on her stomach then looked at him expectantly," apne liye na sahi par iske liye bhi nahin?" he squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back then took a deep breath, she waited for his reply but he remained silent not willing to commit, she turned around to leave when she heard him speak softly," koshish karunga." She grinned broadly with tears in her eyes, she was more than happy that at least he would avoid getting into unnecessary bloodshed in future and he proved that a little while back when he let go that agent," sahab aaj sham ko mujhe mandir jaana hai, aap chaloge?" today they had completed one month of their marriage, it was a special day for her and she wished to visit the same temple with him where they had got married. He shook his head ," nahin mujhe aaj bahut kaam hai aur phir sham ko tujhe doctor ke pass bhi toh leke jaana hai..tu roops ke saath chali ja." She was slightly disappointed but didn't show him and walked past him when he held her wrist from behind," chal saath mein naashta karte hain ?tune raat ko bhi theekh se nahin khaaya hoga." She looked at him in surprise, how did he know that she didn't have dinner? In return he raised his brow and said," thoda bahut toh main bhi tujhe samajhne laga hoon." She smiled shyly and lowered her head, he put an arm around her waist lightly and led her to the couch.