FF: KUCH LUV JAISA - LAST pt pg-72 NOTEpg-75 - Page 20

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Chapter 10

She stood before devi maa's idol with folded hands, this was the same temple where they had got married exactly a month back. The whole place was buzzing with excitement then and everybody present were rejoicing except those who were getting married. She wasn't confused about her decision but wasn't confident about it either in fact she was a little apprehensive about the whole thing, how would she cope up with him? Would she be able to do all that was expected of her? She didn't have the answers then, no one to support or guide her in the new house and the new life she was stepping into. At that point of time standing there she had asked devi maa to give her the strength to deal with whatever came her way and she was glad that till date devi maa was there to direct her on the right path. She began encircling the temple and remembered how both of them had walked around the holy fire and with each step they were bridging the gap between themselves in the eyes of the society but reality was a lot different, they were miles apart. This one month long journey wasn't easy for them, their relationship had its share of ups and downs, sometimes it moved two steps forward and the very next moment it went a step back but nevertheless it did move a little ahead from where it had actually started and the proof of it was that today she was carrying his baby. She completed circling the temple and stood before the deity once again, last time she was here as a nervous bride and now as a nervous mother. A lot had changed in these few days, their relationship moved on to a new level , in fact it was in one of its toughest phases, she would nurture the baby inside her for nine months and then would have to leave him and go away forever, this very thought brought tears in her eyes and she closed them tightly. Today a would be mother was standing before a mother who could clearly understand what was going in her mind, how difficult it would be to part away with the child? Like always she needed that strength from devi maa to make her heart strong which was beating for him and the baby, which didn't want to separate from them. She bowed down at the feet of the deity to seek its blessings and when she got up, roops noticed something," vaheni aapke maathe (forehead) par toh devi maa ke charno (feet) ka sindoor lag gaya…wah ..bhau aur apka rishta toh umr bhar ka hai .." nakku smirked at the remark, only if roops knew the truth behind their marriage she wouldn't say such a thing.

She gazed at the idol one last time and raised her hand to ring the bell before leaving when her fingers brushed with someone else's, she turned her neck and saw him standing behind her, both rang the bell together. He folded his hands and closed his eyes before the deity for a brief moment then glanced at her, she was delighted to see him there. His work had gotten over early so he came to pick her up and take her to the doctor," roops tum baaji ke saath ghar jao main nakku ko doctor ke dikha kar aata hoon." He looked around and couldn't stop himself from recalling the happenings which took place the last time he had come here. From a man he turned into a husband bringing a complete stranger into his life although only for a year but still the vows they exchanged here were not false, they both tried their best to fulfill the promises they made to each other. The going so far wasn't a cakewalk at the same time it wasn't as tough as he had thought, thanks to the woman standing next to him who always attempted to make things easy for them. He gazed at her and thought that he couldn't have asked for a better life partner, no not a life partner but a companion than her. She looked at him and could feel the softness in his eyes, a slight blush decorated her cheeks at the way he was looking at her. He broke the eye lock and said," chalein?"

The doctor informed them that the blood report confirmed her pregnancy, both of them were overjoyed and relieved to hear the same, they glanced at each other for a brief moment then the doctor began checking her blood pressure and weight. For a detailed checkup she was taken behind the curtains, she laid down on the bed as the doctor started carrying out the necessary tests, she appeared a little nervous so the doctor gave her a warm smile and asked," ye apka pehla baccha hai?" she nodded her head in response, the doctor continued," uske dil ki dhadkan sun na chaoge?" she inserted the ear piece of the stethoscope in nakku's ears and pressed the diaphragm against her abdomen, she could hear the heart beat of her baby, the unique and distinct sounds ringing in her ears made her eyes glow in happiness, she turned her neck and pointed out," sahab, unko bulado." The doctor called him as well and made him too hear the throbbing of the heart before leaving them alone for a while, he couldn't believe what he was listening and shifted his gaze from her stomach to her, she blinked her eyes reassuring him that he was indeed hearing right. He glanced at her belly once again, his child was breathing inside her, his own flesh and blood was taking shape, he removed the stethoscope from his ears and touched her abdomen lightly to feel the presence of the baby, she covered his hand with hers and he moved his eyes back to her, right now what he was going through he couldn't expressed it in words and she too didn't need to hear anything from him, the wetness in his eyes explained everything. He caressed her head fondly by moving her hair back, her lips broke into a smile seeing him happy both kept on looking at each other silently when the doctor cleared her throat to make her presence felt. She got up from the bed and came out with him, the doctor prescribed some vitamin tablets and certain breathing exercises along with morning/evening walks to her then explained the precautions she was supposed to take during the initial months of her pregnancy as they were crucial other than that everything else was fine and there was nothing to worry about.

While leaving the clinic he saw other pregnant women entering with their husbands, all looked anxious and nervous but he appeared different, on the exterior he was calm and within he was simply ecstatic. The drive back home was quiet, he was so thrilled at the prospect of becoming a father that he forgot to resume driving when the signal changed from red to green, in fact she had to call him out loudly because even the honking of horns of the cars waiting behind couldn't snap him out of his thoughts, the soft heart beat of his child still rung in his ears," uski awaaz abhi bhi mere kano mein goonj rahi hai." He said sheepishly," tu jo kar rahi hai woh tere liye aasaan nahin hai phirbhi meri khushi ke liye tu kar rahi hai..ye baat mein kabhi nahin bhoolunga." He was right all this was painstakingly difficult for her but she was doing only for his sake only to see that smile which displayed on his face.

He was resting on his rocking chair after having dinner when she came in with a bowl of kheer made for him. They had completed one month of their marriage, her pregnancy was confirmed they even got to hear the pulse of their child, all in all it was a very special day for them so she thought why not make something sweet for the family. He saw her standing with the bowl, the bangles which AS gave him now adorned her wrists, he smiled and took it from her hands then stood up as well and began having it," hmm bahut accha hai..tune khaya?" She shook her head, she didn't get the time to taste it after offering to the rest of the family she came to gave him, he stepped towards her and brought the spoon near her lips, she was pleasantly surprised by his forwardness then opened her mouth to have it. The kheer tasted much sweeter from his hands, he moved back and continued eating it slowly, he wanted to tell her something important but wasn't able to find the right words. He kept the empty bowl on the table and took a deep breath before speaking, "mujhe tujhse kuch kehna..meri baat ka galat matlab mat nikaliyo." She was keeping his clothes in the cupboard but stopped after seeing the serious expression on his face," humaari shaadi ek khaas wajah se hui thi aur aaj woh wajah puri ho gayi." He paused and slipped his hands into his pockets," toh mujhe nahin lagta ki ab hum dono ko ek saath ek hi kamre mein rehne ki zaroorat hai…tu aaraam se mere saath wale kamre mein reh sakti hai." He saw several questions rising in her eyes so continued," tu ghar walon ki chinta mat kar yahan koi mere faislon par sawal nahin uthata aur AS toh neech rehti hain unhe is baat ka pata bhi nahin chalega." He had married her to have a child and now that she was pregnant he didn't think it was appropriate to share the same bed with her. Like always this time too his decision shocked her, according to him their coming together was just a requirement, nothing else ? and now that she was carrying his child the purpose behind their marriage had been fulfilled so he didn't want her anymore in this room, suddenly the sweet taste of the kheer in her mouth turned bitter, she had not even finished relishing its sweetness that he came up with such a thing," kal raat jo maine aapse kaha us baat se aap kya abhi tak mujhse gussa ho?" she failed to understand why did he want to change things between them when everything was going on smoothly, she didn't have any complaints from their relationship, did he have? He nodded his head in negation, he was not at all upset with her, he went near her and cupped her face in his hands," hum dono is rishte ki sacchayi jante hain..hum kareeb aaye isliye nahin kyunki humare beech mein pyar tha balki isliye kyunki us waqt woh zaroori tha aur ab woh zaroorat puri ho chuki hai." He came close to her not because he wanted to but because he had to, he married her not to fulfill his personal needs but to have an heir from her, they were not like any other married couple so now how could he exercise rights those of a normal husband? She parted her lips to speak but felt as if she had lost her voice," dekh hum dono kitne dino se ek saath reh rahe hain..par." she finally managed to remind him by interrupting him in the middle," ek mahina ..humari shaadi ko ek mahina ho gaya hai." The fact that they had completed one month together didn't affect him and he explained her further," chal ek mahina hi sahi par humare rishte mein pyar to hai hi nahin aur hoga bhi kaise jab hum ek dusre pyar karte hi nahin…nahin karte nah..aur tu toh shaadi se pehle hi jaanti thi ki humare beech mein pyar ke liye koi jagah nahin hai..phir bina pyar ke rishte mein ek saath rehna ka kya matlab?" He asked pressing her face lightly in order to stress on the point that he was trying to make. Even if a faint feeling of love had blossomed somewhere in her heart, today he had succeeded in crushing that as well, she blinked her eyes in agreement," phir jab humare beech kuch hai hi nahin toh main kaise tere saath reh kar tera faiyda utha sakta hoon?" he remembered making it amply clear to her before their marriage that he would never love her and he still maintained his stand so without loving her how could he share a normal husband wife relationship and even if refrained from doing so he didn't have any right to keep her under any illusion that they were a normal couple," tu samajh rahi hai nah main kya kehna chahta hoon?" it wasn't easy for his heart to take this decision considering the extent to which he missed her in the past one week but morally and ethically he thought he had made the right decision also it was important for him not to get emotionally attached with her after all she would have to leave once the child was born, she shook her head silently and removed his hands from her face wondering how did he always unknowingly managed to hurt where it hurt the most? She slowly began walking out of the room, the same room where she had entered as his wife and now was leaving as the mother of his child.

She laid down on the new bed and fiddled with the gold bangle, whatever he said wasn't false, their marriage was nothing more than a compromise and just because they were husband and wife he didn't want to take advantage of her neither did he wish to give her any false hope, he never showed disrespect to her nor to their relationship, he always tried to maintain the sanctity and purity of their relationship and in doing so most of the times ended up hurting her feelings. Though he spoke less but whenever he did bitter truth came out of his mouth which never stopped her from respecting him all the more. He was a man of his words, if he said something he stuck to it and that's what made him special to her. She tossed and turned on the unfamiliar bed then closed her eyes tightly so that she could fall asleep but it wasn't working, she was wide awake. She pulled the blanket on to herself and dug her head deep into the pillow, she was about to drift off to sleep when she heard something and sat up immediately then looked around, there was nobody. She again laid down and tried hard to sleep once again but an hour later she gave up and thought of having some water. There wasn't a glass of water in the room, she went to the kitchen to have it while coming back she stopped outside his room, the door was still open she peeped in he was also not asleep and was standing near the window with his back facing her. He heard the sound of her bangles and turned around instantly, " nakku tu soyi nahin?" she lowered her head and replied," mujhe akele us kamre main neend nahin aa rahi ..thoda dar bhi lag raha hai." He folded his hands in front of his chest and thought for a while then spoke reluctantly" chal aaja ..yahin so ja." Her head shot up immediately and she met his eyes asking him, was he serious? He simply nodded his head calling her in, she climbed on the bed and laid down. He closed the door and came near the bed to pick up a pillow and sleep on the couch, she looked at him and said softly," sahab , aap agar bura na mano toh main ek baat kahoon?" he raised his head allowing her to continue," maana humare rishte mein pyaar nahin hai..par ek dusre par vishwas toh hai." She closed her eyes and turned her back to him after saying so, he dropped the pillow a moment later and She felt the bed sink down with his weight behind her. He stared at her back, he didn't know that he would have to revert back to his decision so soon but then on second thoughts the idea of her sleeping alone and that too when she was pregnant wasn't a sensible one, what if something happened to her? Or she needed something, then who would she call out? Moreover now he had made his stand absolutely clear to her so they could share the same room. He left enough space between them, soon both went off to sleep. A couple of hours later their sleeping positions were a little different, he had his arm placed on her stomach and she rested her head on his shoulder as she had turned around in his embrace.