Posted:
Hello folks! I am Aafrah! Remember me? Well if you stil do and you aren't mad at me and you are still looking forward to my story then hear this first - my life is anything but normal!! This time I took time off because I fractured my ankle! How? Don't ask me, blame absinthe!!
Anyway, I have access to my work laptop now and the story was here, so I will be updating on the days as promised!
Lots of hugs and apologies!!
Happy Reading!
Chapter 5
Abhishek. The man I am married to for the last three months now - is a good man. He is a responsible family man - he loved his daadi, adored his sister, respected his family, took care of his wife and her families need's, lived up to his fan's expectations, and also was a faithful boyfriend. There have been many moments in the past three months that proved this. In the past three months, Aaliya's engagement to Abhishek's best friend cum manager Purab, broke. Both siblings were heart broken, but Abhishek took care of Aaliya like she was a baby, he didn't shun Purab for long too, he understood his peril - afterall even Abhishek had lost his love. Aaliya was furious to see Abhishek forgive Purab, she, in a fit of rage had decided to leave home even - Abhishek was the calm understanding brother who coaxed her into staying back and is still helping him move on. Purab on the other hand, when he introduced us to the woman he had fallen in love with, which is why he abandoned Aaliya - when he introduced her, we all were shocked for a while - it was none other than my sister Bulbul! Aaliya in a fit of rage had decided that Abhishek should file a divorce against me. And honestly at that point, I had thought he would - he was furious to say the least, and it was the best way out too - this way he could divorce me and get married to Tanu, who was in all this while, very much a part of his life. But strangely, he didn't file that divorce, instead he took two days to cool off, and after that, had announced Purab and Bulbul's engagement come fall! He didn't need to do this, not when his own sister was suffering! But he did, and he forgave everyone.
Aaliya and my equation of course was gone from curt to damage beyond repair now! Over the months, Aaliya tried to humiliate me in numerous ways, and he had saved me every single time. We were no more room-mates now, we were friends - we acknowledged each other and cared for each other more - it felt nice being with him, Abhishek.
I found him funny actually, the Abhishek I had come to know in the past few months, was anything but serious, though whatever was happening around him were serious and he was dealing with them seriously, but his strength lay in his mischievous smile and optimism - I would have thought it was impossible to embarrass him! But turns out if you caught him watching super cheesy films when he thought no-one was looking, it makes him super embarrassed! The day I came to this house marrying Abhishek, I had seen a brooding man - so that's what my first impression towards him was - a matured, brooding man who lost his love and has forgotten to live. Boy was I wrong in judgement - it took him a few months to bounce back in life! He has loved and lost indeed, but he didn't let that pull him down. His antics were unique and always seems to make me uncomfortable and warm at the same time - be it his habit of sleeping shirtless, and arguing like a five year old that nightclothes itch him, or burns due to his hotness, or be it his habit of coming in front of me in his half naked torso after shower, just to annoy me, be it him arguing with me like a five year old, or be it him annoying daadi just to get her attention!
Sometimes, in all this hustle bustle of regular life, when I saw him dress up and leave for spending some time with Tanu, a low sigh would often escape me. He was perfect, he was an amazing human being, he was a good man, but he was wronging me. I hated myself for not being able to hate him, he was too nice. But what was my future? To remain an unloved virgin wife of the rockstar, to stand by him in public and family occasions? Was just that my role? What if I wanted more? What if I needed more? Then? He had promised me that he would never dishonour our marriage, he kept his promise in one way - he was a responsible husband, and Tanu never came in between us - that is, the part of him, he agreed to share with me. But there was another part of him, on which I had right too, but he gives that part to Tanu, that way he had broken a promise - and me? I was caught in a whirlwind where I couldn't figure out myself, whether I was satisfied to have only a part him in my life or not.
***
When you drive recklessly through life, life has strange ways of throwing a life guard at you - when I had walked into that Kumkum Bhagya marriage hall that night of my wedding, never did I imagine for a second that life could roll out this way for me. Pragya, she crept into my room as an-inmate I didn't acknowledge much, then we were cordial, then we became friends, and now she's my safety net. I cannot imagine a day in my life without Pragya - I know, I am not in love with her, but I can't let her go either! She understands me in a way that it feels like she has read Abhi's user manual front to back! She fit in so well in my life and home that, I have forgotten of times when she wasn't around. She fits like she belongs here - I only wish I loved her too. But truth be told, I never got over Tanu, I still love her. Tanu is no match to CHashmish, she can never be, but the heart has it's own reasons to choose someone. Sometimes, when I see her performing her duties, I feel bad for her, what did she do to deserve the life she is leading? She deserved to have a happy life with a loving husband - ideally I should let her go right? But I just couldn't , I needed her, much more than she knew. She could manage the entire Mehra Madhouse single handedly, she was humble, she was grounded, she respected elders, loved her youngers. I have seen her put in countless efforts to patch up with Aaliya, I have seen her take care of daadi in a way I never have been able to - and she has always been my support - whether sitting with a cup of tea, scrunching her nose and saying she hated my kind of music or by just being herself, and giving me inspiration to write better songs! I needed Pragya, but I could see it - she wasn't happy.
I wanted to give her a reason to smile - but she was Pragya, not Tanu, so a Gucci gift card wouldn't possibly do the job. In ways, Tanu was easier to deal with, Pragya was complex. I pondered for a while and finally hit the key. I decided to make her re-join work! I knew she loved teaching, and those few hours at college, when there were no complications to deal with, she would breathe freely and smile. This was my gift for Pragya - for being her, and coming into my life!
When I first gave her the appointment letter, she had frozen in surprise, then came the ear to ear grin followed by tears and a heartfelt hug - while holding her in my embrace, for a split second I felt content. Truly content - like nothing else mattered. Maybe because, I was finally feeling satisfied after making her happy?
It had been a month that she had re-joined college, initially I thought it wasn't a bad idea asking her to join, because, I thought when she would join, she would do-away with a few household responsibilities, but she didn't, she took up college over and above all the household responsibilities. Sometimes I would catch her coming to the room really late at night, after feeding daadi her medicines, teaching my niece and nephew for their exams, and she would come to the room, and not sleep, but pull out a pile of answer sheets to check before college next morning - soon she looked tired practically all the time, and I was concerned with her health. After a lot of coaxing she agreed to get a nurse for daadi, and tutor for the children, nowadays she has more time to relax. This should make me finally a little relaxed right? But guess who's not relaxed now either?
***
When I joined college, I was thrilled, in the last five months of marriage, I never realized how badly I missed this place, how badly I missed teaching, how badly I missed my students - now that I am back, I realize how big a part of me had gone missing. Now the fact that Abhishek is my name-sake husband, bothers me less - where is the time to be bothered? I have so much to do all day! I thrive in stress, I always knew that - I wondered why this idea of re-joining college never came to me but Abhishek!
However, I have learned early in my life that peace always is a short living guest in my life. From the time I have joined college, there was a vacancy for an econometrics professor. Our HOD had requested us for good referrals too, but I never gave any - not because I didn't care about my students but because I knew only one, and I didn't want him around. But as luck would have it, of all the people in the world that very man showed up in our staff room, one fine morning as our new econometrics professor - Suresh.
The first few days I had avoided him successfully, but when the HOD suggested we presented a paper together on behalf of the university for a leading journal in the domain, what choice did I have. So, after two years almost, Suresh and I came face to face in privacy. He was as uncomfortable as I was, he kept adjusting the collar of his shirt as he nodded at me with an uncertain smile. I smiled with tight lips, and couldn't somehow make eye contact - a lot of memories came back gushing - memories which I now know, have had two interpretations - one from me, one from him. Shoving those disturbing thoughts aside, I cleared my throat unnecessarily - he seemed to be coming out of a trance too.
"Suresh...I ..I know this is..." I began but he cut me off.
"Pragya, I am sorry for everything. I know I have said it before, but I never thought it was enough. I have purposely avoided you ever since..." but I had had enough, I didn't want him to spell out his rejection on my face again.
"Suresh, it is in the past. We have both moved from there. I am married and happy now. We can look past the past now" I said curtly. Something was revolting inside me - to avoid feeling dejected before Suresh I had to state another lie, that I was happy in my marriage ? Was my life so pathetic that to show that I have moved on, I have to quote lies? But Suresh on the other hand, broke into a smile of relief.
"You're happy with the rockstar right? Oh thank heavens for this. I was so sceptical of this alliance, but of course I couldn't say anything." He said almost chirpily. I stared at him for a moment and cynically questioned back,
"Why were you sceptical Suresh?" but he didn't seem to notice the strain in my voice.
"But of course Pragya, how will I not be? "You're my best friend. I care for you alright! I always did, even then, when I was forcing myself into marr--..you know.."he fumbled hopelessly at the end. His indifferent mention of our almost wedding stung. I could feel moisture slowly catch my eye, but I was not done being brave for the day.
"Aah. It's okay. All is over now. Lets put all this behind and ---" I was about to suggest work, but he took it differently.
"Yes absolutely Pragya! I think we can finally go back to being friends!" he finished, and before I could react, pulled me into a light embrace, before saying he missed me a lot. For a fleeting second I felt strange, his hug didn't feel as comfortable as Abhishek's, how could that be? I loved Suresh, wasn't his hug supposed to make me feel more special? Aah, maybe the bitterness of the past was clouding me.
Anyway, I have access to my work laptop now and the story was here, so I will be updating on the days as promised!
Lots of hugs and apologies!!
Happy Reading!
Chapter 5
Abhishek. The man I am married to for the last three months now - is a good man. He is a responsible family man - he loved his daadi, adored his sister, respected his family, took care of his wife and her families need's, lived up to his fan's expectations, and also was a faithful boyfriend. There have been many moments in the past three months that proved this. In the past three months, Aaliya's engagement to Abhishek's best friend cum manager Purab, broke. Both siblings were heart broken, but Abhishek took care of Aaliya like she was a baby, he didn't shun Purab for long too, he understood his peril - afterall even Abhishek had lost his love. Aaliya was furious to see Abhishek forgive Purab, she, in a fit of rage had decided to leave home even - Abhishek was the calm understanding brother who coaxed her into staying back and is still helping him move on. Purab on the other hand, when he introduced us to the woman he had fallen in love with, which is why he abandoned Aaliya - when he introduced her, we all were shocked for a while - it was none other than my sister Bulbul! Aaliya in a fit of rage had decided that Abhishek should file a divorce against me. And honestly at that point, I had thought he would - he was furious to say the least, and it was the best way out too - this way he could divorce me and get married to Tanu, who was in all this while, very much a part of his life. But strangely, he didn't file that divorce, instead he took two days to cool off, and after that, had announced Purab and Bulbul's engagement come fall! He didn't need to do this, not when his own sister was suffering! But he did, and he forgave everyone.
Aaliya and my equation of course was gone from curt to damage beyond repair now! Over the months, Aaliya tried to humiliate me in numerous ways, and he had saved me every single time. We were no more room-mates now, we were friends - we acknowledged each other and cared for each other more - it felt nice being with him, Abhishek.
I found him funny actually, the Abhishek I had come to know in the past few months, was anything but serious, though whatever was happening around him were serious and he was dealing with them seriously, but his strength lay in his mischievous smile and optimism - I would have thought it was impossible to embarrass him! But turns out if you caught him watching super cheesy films when he thought no-one was looking, it makes him super embarrassed! The day I came to this house marrying Abhishek, I had seen a brooding man - so that's what my first impression towards him was - a matured, brooding man who lost his love and has forgotten to live. Boy was I wrong in judgement - it took him a few months to bounce back in life! He has loved and lost indeed, but he didn't let that pull him down. His antics were unique and always seems to make me uncomfortable and warm at the same time - be it his habit of sleeping shirtless, and arguing like a five year old that nightclothes itch him, or burns due to his hotness, or be it his habit of coming in front of me in his half naked torso after shower, just to annoy me, be it him arguing with me like a five year old, or be it him annoying daadi just to get her attention!
Sometimes, in all this hustle bustle of regular life, when I saw him dress up and leave for spending some time with Tanu, a low sigh would often escape me. He was perfect, he was an amazing human being, he was a good man, but he was wronging me. I hated myself for not being able to hate him, he was too nice. But what was my future? To remain an unloved virgin wife of the rockstar, to stand by him in public and family occasions? Was just that my role? What if I wanted more? What if I needed more? Then? He had promised me that he would never dishonour our marriage, he kept his promise in one way - he was a responsible husband, and Tanu never came in between us - that is, the part of him, he agreed to share with me. But there was another part of him, on which I had right too, but he gives that part to Tanu, that way he had broken a promise - and me? I was caught in a whirlwind where I couldn't figure out myself, whether I was satisfied to have only a part him in my life or not.
***
When you drive recklessly through life, life has strange ways of throwing a life guard at you - when I had walked into that Kumkum Bhagya marriage hall that night of my wedding, never did I imagine for a second that life could roll out this way for me. Pragya, she crept into my room as an-inmate I didn't acknowledge much, then we were cordial, then we became friends, and now she's my safety net. I cannot imagine a day in my life without Pragya - I know, I am not in love with her, but I can't let her go either! She understands me in a way that it feels like she has read Abhi's user manual front to back! She fit in so well in my life and home that, I have forgotten of times when she wasn't around. She fits like she belongs here - I only wish I loved her too. But truth be told, I never got over Tanu, I still love her. Tanu is no match to CHashmish, she can never be, but the heart has it's own reasons to choose someone. Sometimes, when I see her performing her duties, I feel bad for her, what did she do to deserve the life she is leading? She deserved to have a happy life with a loving husband - ideally I should let her go right? But I just couldn't , I needed her, much more than she knew. She could manage the entire Mehra Madhouse single handedly, she was humble, she was grounded, she respected elders, loved her youngers. I have seen her put in countless efforts to patch up with Aaliya, I have seen her take care of daadi in a way I never have been able to - and she has always been my support - whether sitting with a cup of tea, scrunching her nose and saying she hated my kind of music or by just being herself, and giving me inspiration to write better songs! I needed Pragya, but I could see it - she wasn't happy.
I wanted to give her a reason to smile - but she was Pragya, not Tanu, so a Gucci gift card wouldn't possibly do the job. In ways, Tanu was easier to deal with, Pragya was complex. I pondered for a while and finally hit the key. I decided to make her re-join work! I knew she loved teaching, and those few hours at college, when there were no complications to deal with, she would breathe freely and smile. This was my gift for Pragya - for being her, and coming into my life!
When I first gave her the appointment letter, she had frozen in surprise, then came the ear to ear grin followed by tears and a heartfelt hug - while holding her in my embrace, for a split second I felt content. Truly content - like nothing else mattered. Maybe because, I was finally feeling satisfied after making her happy?
It had been a month that she had re-joined college, initially I thought it wasn't a bad idea asking her to join, because, I thought when she would join, she would do-away with a few household responsibilities, but she didn't, she took up college over and above all the household responsibilities. Sometimes I would catch her coming to the room really late at night, after feeding daadi her medicines, teaching my niece and nephew for their exams, and she would come to the room, and not sleep, but pull out a pile of answer sheets to check before college next morning - soon she looked tired practically all the time, and I was concerned with her health. After a lot of coaxing she agreed to get a nurse for daadi, and tutor for the children, nowadays she has more time to relax. This should make me finally a little relaxed right? But guess who's not relaxed now either?
***
When I joined college, I was thrilled, in the last five months of marriage, I never realized how badly I missed this place, how badly I missed teaching, how badly I missed my students - now that I am back, I realize how big a part of me had gone missing. Now the fact that Abhishek is my name-sake husband, bothers me less - where is the time to be bothered? I have so much to do all day! I thrive in stress, I always knew that - I wondered why this idea of re-joining college never came to me but Abhishek!
However, I have learned early in my life that peace always is a short living guest in my life. From the time I have joined college, there was a vacancy for an econometrics professor. Our HOD had requested us for good referrals too, but I never gave any - not because I didn't care about my students but because I knew only one, and I didn't want him around. But as luck would have it, of all the people in the world that very man showed up in our staff room, one fine morning as our new econometrics professor - Suresh.
The first few days I had avoided him successfully, but when the HOD suggested we presented a paper together on behalf of the university for a leading journal in the domain, what choice did I have. So, after two years almost, Suresh and I came face to face in privacy. He was as uncomfortable as I was, he kept adjusting the collar of his shirt as he nodded at me with an uncertain smile. I smiled with tight lips, and couldn't somehow make eye contact - a lot of memories came back gushing - memories which I now know, have had two interpretations - one from me, one from him. Shoving those disturbing thoughts aside, I cleared my throat unnecessarily - he seemed to be coming out of a trance too.
"Suresh...I ..I know this is..." I began but he cut me off.
"Pragya, I am sorry for everything. I know I have said it before, but I never thought it was enough. I have purposely avoided you ever since..." but I had had enough, I didn't want him to spell out his rejection on my face again.
"Suresh, it is in the past. We have both moved from there. I am married and happy now. We can look past the past now" I said curtly. Something was revolting inside me - to avoid feeling dejected before Suresh I had to state another lie, that I was happy in my marriage ? Was my life so pathetic that to show that I have moved on, I have to quote lies? But Suresh on the other hand, broke into a smile of relief.
"You're happy with the rockstar right? Oh thank heavens for this. I was so sceptical of this alliance, but of course I couldn't say anything." He said almost chirpily. I stared at him for a moment and cynically questioned back,
"Why were you sceptical Suresh?" but he didn't seem to notice the strain in my voice.
"But of course Pragya, how will I not be? "You're my best friend. I care for you alright! I always did, even then, when I was forcing myself into marr--..you know.."he fumbled hopelessly at the end. His indifferent mention of our almost wedding stung. I could feel moisture slowly catch my eye, but I was not done being brave for the day.
"Aah. It's okay. All is over now. Lets put all this behind and ---" I was about to suggest work, but he took it differently.
"Yes absolutely Pragya! I think we can finally go back to being friends!" he finished, and before I could react, pulled me into a light embrace, before saying he missed me a lot. For a fleeting second I felt strange, his hug didn't feel as comfortable as Abhishek's, how could that be? I loved Suresh, wasn't his hug supposed to make me feel more special? Aah, maybe the bitterness of the past was clouding me.
Bollywood
Cricket
Anupamaa
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
622