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Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#81
Excellent article. Yes, true. Where are the strong women who won't tolerate insults, who won't let their dignity and honour questioned,... I'd like to watch a show with today's strong, independent woman. Stupid me, I thought I was watching such a show. What a joke on me.

Originally posted by: Tinkerfairy

Indian TV's doormat daughters

If Indian television soaps are any evidence to go by, India's daughters and daughters-in-law " from the rural poor to the well-educated urban rich " are spineless doormats who cannot speak up to save their lives. In India, prime time television viewing begins traditionally by 8 pm when most working people have returned home and home-makers are settled after their daily routine of housekeeping and managing the children. The shows that are telecast during these hours " 8 pm to 11 pm " are therefore considered to be the most successful with the highest TRPS. So let's see what is on the menu.

Show some spunk, girls
According to media pundits, Balika Vadhu is the flavour of the season right now. In this narrative, all the women " heroine Anandi, her mother Bhago, mother-in-law Sumitra, aunt Gehna and sis-in-law Sugna " are going through some kind of torture or the other. All face relentless humiliation, insults and loss of self-esteem at the hands of the ogre matriarch, Masaab.

Except Gehna " who shows some spunk but is defeated' by her motherhood " all the women are helpless in the face of disgusting abuse from the men in their family and the vicious grandmothers.

The other show which attracts a huge number of eyeballs is Bidaai in which Sadhana, the beautiful bride, suffers every variety of insult. Currently, she has been thrown out of her house and is living in her uncle's home where she is hated and abused. It is likely that she will happily return to her sasural when her tormentors deign to give her a clean chit.
Take the case of Akshara, a university educated beauty from a wealthy Marwari family in Udaipur. In the popular soap Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai, she is thrown out of her home by her loving' but spineless husband Naitik. She too, anxiously waits to crawl back to her sasural.

The heroine of Lado, Sia, is humiliated beyond endurance by her in-laws, who use her as a servant. Sia is a doctor's daughter and well-educated, but she accepts this humiliation, agreeing to slave in the kitchen and work as nurse maid to the family's arrogant men.
To add to this parade of doormats, there's the unfortunate Amoli of Bairi Piya, who is relentlessly hounded by a horny zamindar.

There is no escape for her, not even the protection of her husband, who is willing to donate' his wife to his master, the zamindar.

Where are the real women?
The question here is: Are modern Indian women truly like this? Does TV honestly portray the Indian woman of today? Are they total wimps who can be pushed around, kicked out of their homes, deprived of their freedom and respect, raped, molested, plotted against and insulted every step of the way?

"Not at all," says Niyati Shah, an IT executive in Bangalore, "I would never accept such behaviour from anyone. Recently, I rejected many marriage proposals because the boys wanted me to move to the US or to the Gulf. I have a fabulous job here and don't wish to give it up and relocate."

Many young women like Niyati are clear about where they want to live and work, how they too must look after their parents and how they must have personal rights.
"I would never go back to a family that has thrown me out after insulting me. Women ought not to feel so helpless. These soaps on national television, night after night, are misleading and even damaging," says Niyati.
Spare us the drama'
"I would not want my daughter or daughter-in-law to accept this kind of treatment," says Rohini Adhikari, an income tax officer, "I wonder if TV serial makers look at the women outside their very small world."

Today, women are counted among the most powerful people in the country. Some Indian women even feature in the list of the Forbes most powerful 100 women of the world. Sonia Gandhi, Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kochchar and other women have made it to the world's power list. Millions of women make excellent money and pursue challenging careers. So, to show women as doormats is unrealistic.

The winds of change are blowing across India. "I would want TV to show the changing picture of Indian women too. Instead of showing over-dressed women being kicked around in their homes and living in fear of their own families all the time, I would want to see brave women who are building the new India as an inspiration to all women," says Rohini Adhikari.

Why are these soaps popular then? "There is a dearth of good television programming," says Swapna Nair, a script writer. True, television in India blindly follows trends. Sometime ago, it was the saas-bahu soaps about Gujarati women living in huge joint families. These lost out because they just went on and on, introducing bizarre track like mothers-in-law being sent to prison by scheming daughters-in-law and so on. At one time Ekta Kapoor had 19 such serials running on several channels with great success! Then, viewers suffered from TV exhaustion. The soaps lost steam, one by one.
Other production houses grabbed the opportunity and brought the flavour of Rajasthan to the small screen. All women wear Rajasthan-style costumes, all men wear the pagrees and kurtas from this beautiful state. Even the dialects are from Rajasthan. This is a new fad and viewers are finding something new in the serials. Some of them like Balika Vadhu claim to have a message. But nothing can justify the constant humiliation of the daughters and daughters-in-law.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/50981/indian-tvs-doormat-daughters.html


this is article i just wanted to share. 😃😃 please share your views also. Please dont underestimate indian women.😊

thedramaqueen thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#82
Tia, with regards to demand for fertility treatment, I want to be proved wrong. However, I fully expect sonakshi to undermine Dev's stance and give ma her haq (and annoy me :D)
sia.krpkab thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#83

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

Tia, with regards to demand for fertility treatment, I want to be proved wrong. However, I fully expect sonakshi to undermine Dev's stance and give ma her haq (and annoy me :D)




Sonakshi is in a vulnerable state right now. She hasn't got any time to digest anything related to her pregnancy and now infertility. If this woman feels sorry to her husband who lied to her, with such (ass of) a MIL who will give her emotional lecture, Sona would just like to get swallowed by mother earth!
I wish there was some time gap between the truth unveiled to the family and both Dev and Sona could console each other before they have to deal with the havoc at home.
For a change, Dev should be the problem solver and clear thinker now!


rahulvats12 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#84

Originally posted by: VIMAL.M

CV's made Saurabh N Asha as Dev's defence lawyer.Asha for me today is huge disappointment.She was like Sona is lucky.Dev married Sona in-spite of knowing the truth.Asha like normal typical Indian mom's said.Sona should understand why Dev did this.When Sona said their relation was based on lie.CV's made Dev help Saurab secretly for his business.Dev gave Rs.5 Crore.Asha said Bijoy see how good his ur jamai.Bijoy also started thinking.Sona apologized to Dev for scolding him.What a way for CV's to show Dev as great n best.I will not buy this.They day he stand for Sona publicly.Keep his promise.Then I will applaud Dev.Dev helping Saurabh N marrying Sona in-spite of knowing her infertility.Will not make me applaud Dev n call his love for Sona as selfless N Unconditional.

For me only Bijoy look sane person in the show.Who speaks the truth.I hope CV's don't butcher him to glorify Dev.Already Asha has been butchered to glorify Dev.

Both asha and saurabh are right about dev...no matter how he done mistake but he all do for sona...bijoy is stupid person in show...he never use a sense... If any other man would have know about sona's problem... Then he may never marry her...sona is lucky who got dev and who love her most and accept her with her infertility problem because for him...sona matters most.
Hari73 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#85
Happy new year tia.
I always love your post. Your post are some extent to bejoy character. Very straight which I love. His talks are mirror to the person. Some people might feel like he is insensitive. But truth is always hard. He is my favourite character. And he is so much similar to my father.

Dev may be however good person he is. But as a husband he is not upto the mark. Woman always wants secured relationship with husband/life partner. But he failed in that department. In last episode sona clearly mentioned about her fear.

I am not able to understand why Dev cannot stand up in front eshwari. It is a million dollar question to me. Thankfully all my and husband family..don't belong to this kind of emotions. We are all independent and we can put our views in front of them without hesitation. I don't even think it is kind of disrespectful to argue. And also they don't interfere in my personal life.

I am also upset with sonakshi character..who is not standing up for herself. If I was sonakshi. .I would confront my husband or my mil then and their if they ill speak to me. Here our smart sonakshi bocom worst than gopi bahu. here like any one would come sunoing sona. We should know our worth and if people does not value then make them understand your worth. I am not saying screem or shout but in a decent way you can convey them. In our bhagvat gita, krishna said first love yourself and then love your family. Hurting our heart is biggest sin.

Also I am upset with the execution of the story. I am not looking forward to today's episode. It will be all eshwari and devakshi are like slaves saying jee hujoor. Too much of eshwari reducing my interest in the serial. We suppose to understand eshwari point of view and treat her like a lead..but in my eyes she is villain of the story. Her character has become beyond repair which in my life I won't sympathise. I feel I have started hating 'ma' word in the serial. I wish cvs could give us one episode without eshwari and ma word. I know this is not possible at this point.



Edited by Pramila.harish - 8 years ago
Hari73 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#86

Originally posted by: sia.krpkab




Sonakshi is in a vulnerable state right now. She hasn't got any time to digest anything related to her pregnancy and now infertility. If this woman feels sorry to her husband who lied to her, with such (ass of) a MIL who will give her emotional lecture, Sona would just like to get swallowed by mother earth!
I wish there was some time gap between the truth unveiled to the family and both Dev and Sona could console each other before they have to deal with the havoc at home.
For a change, Dev should be the problem solver and clear thinker now!



Sadly our show is not treating sonakshi as lead so less importance to her feeling. They always concerned about eshwari feeling. How I wished to see whole episode dedicated to our devakshi. Now we are in a position to say thanks to those 3 to 4 mins of them. If they had equally concentrated on devakshi. .The show would have been more beautiful.
Hari73 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#87

Originally posted by: rahulvats12

Both asha and saurabh are right about dev...no matter how he done mistake but he all do for sona...bijoy is stupid person in show...he never use a sense... If any other man would have know about sona's problem... Then he may never marry her...sona is lucky who got dev and who love her most and accept her with her infertility problem because for him...sona matters most.


Till now Dev has not proved as good husband. He has not provided secured life to sona till now. Let us see how CV's make him good husband. About bijoy, you will understand when you become father. He is a ideal father so far. And one more thing if relationship stands on indebted things. .It is no less than suffocated life. If dev does not marry sona, bejoy would not abandon her. He is there like a pillar next to her. Which is a most beautiful thing in the serial.
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#88
You both are absolutely correct. Sona is in a broken state and is open to manipulation and exploitation by Ishwari right now. That's why my expectations are on Dev. He has to prove himself a good husband and make sure Sonakshi is not pushed into something she was not prepared for at a vulnerable state. However, if he nods his head and let's Sonakshi get manipulated by Ishwari. He will have proven himself to be a not only bad husband but also the most selfish human being along with his mother. Right now Sonakshi needs him more than his mother. He has to sort out his priorities.

Originally posted by: sia.krpkab




Sonakshi is in a vulnerable state right now. She hasn't got any time to digest anything related to her pregnancy and now infertility. If this woman feels sorry to her husband who lied to her, with such (ass of) a MIL who will give her emotional lecture, Sona would just like to get swallowed by mother earth!
I wish there was some time gap between the truth unveiled to the family and both Dev and Sona could console each other before they have to deal with the havoc at home.
For a change, Dev should be the problem solver and clear thinker now!


Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#89
Happy New Year, Pramila. Yes, you kind of echoed my complaints with the show. There is a difference between being a good person and being a good husband. Dev might be a good person in general and good son, he has not proven him to be a good husband yet. A good husband as we know isn't the one who tells you filmy dialogue in the bedroom but who shows the strength of his commitment in public without hesitation. Dev's attitude towards Sonakshi until now has been that of a guilty pleasure. As if she is his mistress that he has got into the house so if he stands up for her, it will be against his family's honour.

I don't see why it's hard to know that the woman you claim to love and the woman you legally married is being insulted and belittled by your family and yet stay silent day after day and try to show your inadequate love in the bedroom? May be because since I love my husband very much and I won't let even my mother (by the way, I was also raised by a single mother like Dev) insult him even once nor I will let my husband insult my mother, I can't imagine how someone can watch their loved ones being treated like crap even by another loved one.

Dev yet to put a stop to Sonakshi's insults and now he has practically handed over her dignity and self-respect to his family on a silver platter to stomp on by his lies where he involved Sonakshi. Watch the episode today or read the written update and let me know if Dev grew a spine finally. But since Ishwari ran away aka used her Trump card, I doubt Dev will say anything today beyond apologizing to her.

Originally posted by: Pramila.harish

Happy new year tia.

I always love your post. Your post are some extent to bejoy character. Very straight which I love. His talks are mirror to the person. Some people might feel like he is insensitive. But truth is always hard. He is my favourite character. And he is so much similar to my father.

Dev may be however good person he is. But as a husband he is not upto the mark. Woman always wants secured relationship with husband/life partner. But he failed in that department. In last episode sona clearly mentioned about her fear.

I am not able to understand why Dev cannot stand up in front eshwari. It is a million dollar question to me. Thankfully all my and husband family..don't belong to this kind of emotions. We are all independent and we can put our views in front of them without hesitation. I don't even think it is kind of disrespectful to argue. And also they don't interfere in my personal life.

I am also upset with sonakshi character..who is not standing up for herself. If I was sonakshi. .I would confront my husband or my mil then and their if they ill speak to me. Here our smart sonakshi bocom worst than gopi bahu. here like any one would come sunoing sona. We should know our worth and if people does not value then make them understand your worth. I am not saying screem or shout but in a decent way you can convey them. In our bhagvat gita, krishna said first love yourself and then love your family. Hurting our heart is biggest sin.

Also I am upset with the execution of the story. I am not looking forward to today's episode. It will be all eshwari and devakshi are like slaves saying jee hujoor. Too much of eshwari reducing my interest in the serial. We suppose to understand eshwari point of view and treat her like a lead..but in my eyes she is villain of the story. Her character has become beyond repair which in my life I won't sympathise. I feel I have started hating 'ma' word in the serial. I wish cvs could give us one episode without eshwari and ma word. I know this is not possible at this point.



VIMAL.SM thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#90

Originally posted by: rahulvats12

Both asha and saurabh are right about dev...no matter how he done mistake but he all do for sona...bijoy is stupid person in show...he never use a sense... If any other man would have know about sona's problem... Then he may never marry her...sona is lucky who got dev and who love her most and accept her with her infertility problem because for him...sona matters most.



For me Bijoy is right now only Sane person in the show and he uses his sense in right way.What he said become true.He said all will blame Sona for Dev mistake.Same happened both GKB N Ish did exactly the same.

I will say again for me Dev did not do any favor marrying Sona after knowing infertility issue.LOL Dev love Sona most n Sona matters him to most.Lets see.Once his mom comes to picture.He will show who he loves most.He did the same during break up track.He picked mom over Sona.Lets see what he does.Unless he takes stand for Sona in public against his mom n GKB.I will not say Dev love Sona most.If U love some one you will fight for them.Dev never did that.[If CV's make Dev do that I will be so happy.That I am proved wrong]

If Dev love Sona most.Why he did not say the truth to her n entire family.Dev said if any one comes to know the truth before marriage.This marriage would not have happened.Dev always escape from situation.Restore to do wrong this.Which will give temporary solution not permanent one.




Edited by VIMAL.M - 8 years ago

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