In Defence Of Dev Dixit - Page 2

Originally posted by: Snehavinaya

I never thought calling ma is such a big deal.
Nobody wholeheartedly can accept MIL as mother.
That is my viewpoint.
Your mother will be always ur mother. MIL can't be your mother.
One in a crore or more even I should say u will see a MIL who will accept a dil as their daughter.
That is the way it is.
Why fight these things?
As long as things are ok between u & your husband, nothing else matters.
U can call ur mil ma - don't have to mean it.
He need not call ur mother ma .
Respect should come from within.
Nothing Matters in name calling.

Sona can call iswari aunty. If the respect is there, no problem.
There is no need of unnecessary complications in life.

Ultimately the husband will realize the worth of wife's family & later the bond becomes really strong.
Even MIL can't break that.
That is the beauty of it.
It will take time.
We should not bother about acceptance. If are a confident woman, there issues should not affect you.
Keep your conscience clear & keep going; be happy

Just perfect. It is never about how you address your mother in law. It is about how you treat her. Thank you very much for understanding the crux of my post and saying your superb words.

Sona didn't ask him to call asha as Maa... he strtd on his own. Now out of the blue he changes it to aunty and sona shudn't even voice out her displeasure🤔? Now when she wants to do the same to his mom he is getting worked up.. Neither he dares to reveal the entire incident to sona as to what his mom has done nor he wants sona to call his mom as aunty. So bottom line is his mom should be protected. Whereas on other side this same mom of his shamelessly put the entire blame on her son when sona confronted.

to me it does not matter what dev calls asha as long as "he is doing it on his own" . he was the one to start calling asha as maa and suddenly out the blue ishwari feels threatned by him addressing asha as maa. ? seriously!!!

@ randomramblings

3 things I understood from this post

From the time Dev first met Sona's mom he has been calling her aunty. No one had a problem when he continued to call her aunty after the wedding. But when he started calling her Maa, she felt happy. Everyone in Sona's family noticed it and were accepting of the deeper bonding between those two.

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

@ randomramblings

and this is something that ishwari failed to teach dev. he feels he can have relation with sona and none with her family as he too has the opinion like u. girl goes and lives with the boy but not vice versa.

Dev never thinks so. He genuinely feels for Sona's family. He respects Ashabose. Values Bijoy even when he would not reciprocate. He understood Bijoy's concern for Sona when he did not wish him.

Dev loves Saurav and Elena. He is not that insensitive to think he can have relationship only with Sona

Having said that I mentioned he did wrong first calling Asha Maa and then calling Aunty.

I felt he should share this with Asha and say sorry.

I strongly believe relationships flourish with mutual love and respect but not by the way how a particular person is addressed by other.

Dev will never stand back where his duties and responsibilities are in question. He will fulfill them irrespective of Iswari's insecurities.

I think Dev's respect and adoration for Asha won't change depending upon the way he addresses her.

To me Dev really values his relationship with Sona's family.

There was a dialogue during the nehas wedding.. You cant go and tell ppl "i respect you but i will treat you like shit .. But i am hoping you will understand the respect i have for you.."... Bullshit

if you respect someone you show it through your gestures and this is not a forced action .. U feel it from deep inside... If you volunterely call ur mil maa when u wanted your inlaws approval to marry their girland then conviniently start calling Her aunty when ur mom has an issue with it .. Just shows how much dev respects asha... He respects asha just like he respects sona... Basically doesnt respect ... Respect has to be consistent not convinience

Then when sona confronted him he was more than happy about sona being ok with this change... And he doesnt have to work on anything. If he really respects asha he should have spoken with her and explained how his mom is getting me into this psyco mode ... So i will have to resort to calling u aunty .. I hope it is ok with you ... It doesnt mean that my respect and love have changed... That is called manning up and actually working to make things right and not hurt ppl

Or

Let sona call ishwari aunty.. I am all for equality. Me and my husband call our inlaws aunty and uncle..
So It is only fair if both sona and dev switch to aunty .. Ohh no but dev doesnt want sona to call ishu aunty.. Ohh she might get hurt.. She may take pills ... Again BS... If u think ur mom is mentally unstable and cant handle even this then u better reveal it to sona and asha i am sure they will be ok to let the matter go for a sick person. But asking sona to continue where as he doesnt evem want to rethink if he made a right decision is just hypocracy and showing doublestandards for dil and sil

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

@ randomramblings

and this is something that ishwari failed to teach dev. he feels he can have relation with sona and none with her family as he too has the opinion like u. girl goes and lives with the boy but not vice versa.

Dev never thinks so. He genuinely feels for Sona's family. He respects Ashabose. Values Bijoy even when he would not reciprocate. He understood Bijoy's concern for Sona when he did not wish him.

Dev loves Saurav and Elena. He is not that insensitive to think he can have relationship only with Sona

Having said that I mentioned he did wrong first calling Asha Maa and then calling Aunty.

I felt he should share this with Asha and say sorry.

I strongly believe relationships flourish with mutual love and respect but not by the way how a particular person is addressed by other.

Dev will never stand back where his duties and responsibilities are in question. He will fulfill them irrespective of Iswari's insecurities.

I think Dev's respect and adoration for Asha won't change depending upon the way he addresses her.

To me Dev really values his relationship with Sona's family.

Dev will only fulfill his duties if Ishwari is ok with it. When Sonakshi was in hospital, Ishwari did not know that and also at that time she was not insecure because of Sonakshi. Sona was not a family member at that time...

Even before Dev-Sonakshi love and everything, Ishwari did not like Dev doing something for her family. I mean when she comes to know that Dev had once taken cake for Sonakshi's moms birthday, her immidiate reaction is to tell him not to do that.

Whatever he did sir Sonakshi pre breakup was because Ishwari did not say NO to it. And that is Dev's problem. He should consider yes and no based on himself rather that Ishwari's yes and no. He should do what is right because it is the right thing to do. Not do the wrong thing and call it right because his mom did not like the right thing...

Originally posted by: AlooMatar

From the time Dev first met Sona's mom he has been calling her aunty. No one had a problem when he continued to call her aunty after the wedding. But when he started calling her Maa, she felt happy. Everyone in Sona's family noticed it and were accepting of the deeper bonding between those two.

Now when he backtracks to aunty for because his mother was upset, it feels like he is trying to push her back. He was civil from the beginning and became affectionate in between. Now he is back to being civil and people are hurt. Sona's mom won't say anything because she is a great lady who will take the high road. But as a wife Sona has the right to discuss whatever is bothering her with her husband and try to make him understand her pov. This is the method she had thought of.

Ideally Dev should have told his mother that he loves her very much but needs her to understand that his wife's family are also dear to him. He owes them the respect that she gets from Sona and will respond to the affection they shower on him. Unfortunately Dev isn't ideal and the drama ensues.

I believe you are incorrect regarding not referring to Asha Bose as 'Maa' after marriage. In fact, he addresses her as 'Maa' when they're discussing the menu at Boss residence and promises them a non vegetarian menu. I could write a novel about how to mend Dev's mistakes but I'm going to frame it one sentence: Dev needs to stop being oblivious, spineless, and downright selfish. As one businessperson to another, he cannot keep this up if he wants to achieve real gain in his personal life.

Originally posted by: dlavanya

There was a dialogue during the nehas wedding.. You cant go and tell ppl "i respect you but i will treat you like shit .. But i am hoping you will understand the respect i have for you.."... Bullshit

if you respect someone you show it through your gestures and this is not a forced action .. U feel it from deep inside... If you volunterely call ur mil maa when u wanted your inlaws approval to marry their girland then conviniently start calling Her aunty when ur mom has an issue with it .. Just shows how much dev respects asha... He respects asha just like he respects sona... Basically doesnt respect ... Respect has to be consistent not convinience

Then when sona confronted him he was more than happy about sona being ok with this change... And he doesnt have to work on anything. If he really respects asha he should have spoken with her and explained how his mom is getting me into this psyco mode ... So i will have to resort to calling u aunty .. I hope it is ok with you ... It doesnt mean that my respect and love have changed... That is called manning up and actually working to make things right and not hurt ppl

Or

Let sona call ishwari aunty.. I am all for equality. Me and my husband call our inlaws aunty and uncle..
So It is only fair if both sona and dev switch to aunty .. Ohh no but dev doesnt want sona to call ishu aunty.. Ohh she might get hurt.. She may take pills ... Again BS... If u think ur mom is mentally unstable and cant handle even this then u better reveal it to sona and asha i am sure they will be ok to let the matter go for a sick person. But asking sona to continue where as he doesnt evem want to rethink if he made a right decision is just hypocracy and showing doublestandards for dil and sil

I ageee with you; either "Maa" for both, or "Aunty" for both. Hipocrisy is not an ingredient for a healthy relationship.