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Badasurata Part 2
A desire in the bangles (Ek Icha chudiyan me by Gagan Gill)
A desire is in the girl's bangles:
first they will break on his bed
then on the threshold of his house.
But why on the threshold?
Because in the girl there is a woman
mourning — who is not yet
a widow
but a widow to be.
The girl's fear throbs in her veins
as far as her bangles
The girl's desire throbs in them
The girl's mourning throbs in them
Mourning?
Where is the girl's man
for whom mourning runs in her veins
for whom desire is in her bangles?
Her man is caught
in some other body
some other dream
sorrow, other tears
His every sorrow, dream, tear
is beyond the reach of the mourning girl…
But the girl is only a girl
in her is that primal innocence,
madness, death,
whose punishment
she will give to that man
one day
when she will break her bangles…
Translation By: Jane Duran
Kiran was taking an afternoon nap. Pia as usual was out with a friend. Bani after making sure the dishes were washed and the kitchen clean went upstairs to her room. She sat on the bed and picked up the book given by Jai. She opened the to the first page and there on the page where the dedication was printed, she saw a handwritten note 'Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.'(Bernadette Devlin)
For some reason she followed each curve of the letters with eyes. Beautiful words for the lady that dare to ride out onto the battlefield to preserve the freedom of her people. Bani, started reading the book and was soon engrossed in the pages, how much time had flown by only became apparent when she heard Kiran shout at her to make tea. Bani hurriedly put the book away and went down to the kitchen.
Over the next few days, she spent every spare minutes she had reading as much of the book as she could. At nighttime she and Rano would exchange their thoughts on what they had read. For the first time Rano realized how insightful her Di was, she promised Bani that if she wanted to read more books, she would take her to the library.
Pia saw Jai at least once a week, he bored her but she was too astute to say. He never wanted to go to clubs or parties, preferring a quiet dinner and long walks. She cribbed with her friends about how one of India's most eligible bachelors was also a bore. How could you have all that money and not enjoy yourself. Sure he got lots of invitation to attend parties by the well-known business and entertainment companies, but Jai refused to go to any of them unless it was within his business circle. He told Pia, I work long hours at the office, why would want to waste away the two three hours I have to spend with my family by going to some party where I hardly know people on a personal level.
It was Rano who on one of her visits to see Ranveer mentioned that she and her family were going away to a family wedding in Mt Abu for about four days. She asked Ranveer if he could possibly pop in and see Bani as she would not be coming with them and would at home alone. Ranveer questioned why she wasn't coming and Rano just shrugged, she doesn't want to come.
Ranveer casually mentioned to masi about Rano going away and had asked him to go and see Bani, but with his erratic work schedule that was hard to do. Masi told him why not ask Jai to go and see her, after all it was more convenient for Jai to pop in on his way to or from work.
Jai could hardly contain the happiness he felt at being told by masi to go next day and see if Bani was ok as the Dixits were away at a wedding. The time on his wristwatch seemed to stand still as Jai checked it for the umpteenth time. Meetings and appointments seemed unnecessary chores today. All he wanted to do was skip the whole damn lot and drive off to Bani's house. He had already been caught daydreaming twice by Adi. One more meeting to go and then he can pack up and leave.
As luck would have it, the meeting dragged, Jai glared at his staff unnecessary making them even more nervous. The manager from the finance had already stumbled on several points when Jai questioned him with irritation. Adi couldn't understand why Jai was behaving like this. He had no clue why Jai who had been chirpy this morning was suddenly behaving like an aggravated bull…snapping and fuming at the staff. Eventually the meeting finished and Jai rushed out just telling Adi, he had to rush to an appointment and would see him later.
He stopped at the florist and bought a bouquet of pink roses. He breathed in the fragrance flowing in the car…what had the lady said about pink roses as she wrapped the bouquet, 'It is a great rose to say Thank you, You're so lovely and Please Believe Me.'
Jai drove manically to beat the traffic and reach the Dixit home. He stepped up to the door and knocked. Couple more knocks and Bani opened the door slightly and peeked out. On seeing Jai she looked surprised but opened the door to let him in. Jai held out the roses to her and see looked hesitantly before taking the bouquet and whispering a quiet thank you. Few minutes later she returned and placed the roses on a corner table.
She came and stood opposite where Jai sat and said quietly, "Pia is not here, she had gone to a wedding and will not be here for the next few days."
Jai smiled at her and said, "I didn't come here to see Pia, I came to see you."
Seeing her nervous, Jai pointed at the seat next to him and said, "Why don't you sit down and tell me if you liked the book?"
Bani sat on the sofa farthest from him and told him about her thoughts on the book. He barely listened to the words…her soft voice seemed to swirl inside his head. When did she stop talking he didn't know, until he heard his name being repeated, "Mr Walia…Mr Walia."
Bani was standing and looking at him inquiringly, "Would like some tea or coffee?"
He absently nodded and said, "Coffee!"
Bani returned several minutes with two cups of coffee and plate of biscuits. She sat the tray in front of him and took her cup and sat opposite him. A wall of silence fell between them, as they both sat not saying anything. Bani seemed puzzled at his visit whilst Jai seemed content to sit and watch her.
After a while Bani picked up the empty cups and put them on a tray and carried it to the kitchen. Jai sat wondering if may be he should take her out for dinner; it would be nice to take her out with no one to kick up a fuss. He laughed quietly, if Kiran were here, would he even dare to suggest such a thing.
Almost fifteen minutes went by and Bani had not returned. Impatient now, Jai walked towards the back to the kitchen. He found her standing with her back towards the door, leaning slightly on the counter. Watching the slight movement of her back he slowly walked towards her. As if she could feel his presence Bani stiffened but did not turn around. "Why did you come here Mr Walia?"
Jai standing behind her, "To see you."
Bani breathing a little quickly, "Mr Walia why are you doing this to me?"
Jai pulled her pallu down, Jai traced his finger down the side of her neck, Bani shuddered at the touch. Leaning close to her he whispered, "What did I do Bani?"
Trying to move slightly away from him she spoke breathlessly, "Don't touch me…you cannot touch me. You are meant for Pia. I am…"
Taking one step he turned her around and crushed her to him. The voice emotionally charged rasped, "Bani I will tell you who is meant for me. You are in every breath that I take…when I look in the mirror I see you standing next to me…at night its you invading my dreams."
He brushed his lips across her cheeks, her hands tightened and pushed in vain against him. The hot breath seemed to burn her cheek, "Mora chain tune loota hai…mera dil tune cheena hai…mujhe sirf tum chaiye Bani…bas tum." He crushed his lips down on hers. He felt her struggle. He knew he should not do this but he couldn't stop himself even if he tried. Jolted out of the kiss, Jai instinctively held her tight as he felt her go limp in his arms. Panic set in as he her head roll, Bani had passed out. He picked her up and carried her to the room and set her down on the sofa.
Jai rushed to the kitchen and got a glass of water and he sprinkled some on her face and waited holding her hand. After few minutes Bani opened her eyes, realized she was lying down and hastily tried to get up only to find Jai pushing her down. "Stay down you fainted."
Bani lay still but looked away from him, "You should go, please…"
"No! I am not leaving you like this. Have eaten anything today?"
"Yes, I had late breakfast."
"I'll order some food…" But sat up and looked at him beseechingly, "Please Jai, just go. I can make myself something to eat."
Jai sitting down next to her said stubbornly, "I am not leaving until you eat something…and I haven't eaten yet either so you can make a little extra for me too."
Bani spent the next hour making dinner. Her nervousness made her spill, burn and almost cut her finger. She kept darting glances towards the door, expecting Jai to come in. But Jai stayed put in the sitting room watching TV. He had called home to let masi know that he was having dinner with Bani and so they should not wait for him.
Setting the food on the table, Bani came to the room and told him to come to the kitchen as the food was ready. Both of them quietly ate the food, mostly Jai talking to dispel the silence. He helped her wash up with protests from her, but refused to budge from the sink and eventually Bani let him. Not used to anyone helping with the chores, let alone stepping into kitchen Bani smiled as she watched him rinse the dishes.
Jai caught the smile on her face and stopped for a moment, wiped his hand on his shirt and caught her chin, "Aise dheere se mushkurana, laagta hai mujhe bahut pyaara...You should smile more often."
Bani just looked away and said softly, "One has to have a reason to smile."
Jai caught her close to him and whispered in her ear, "Marry me Bani… I will always make sure you have smile on your face. Mujhe har paal yehi muskhurahat dekhni hai"
Pehli Nazar Dil Pe Waar Kar Gayi
Armanon Ko Beqaraar Kar Gayi - 2
Pyaar To Mange Pyaar Ke Badle Pyaar Ka Hi Harjana
Par Dil Kehta Hain Dilbar Ko Jaan De Doon Nazrana Hai
Mausam Yeh Mausam..... Dheere Se Muskurana (2)(Mausam by Sonu Nigam)
Bani pushed at him with some force and looked at him angrily, "How can you say this to me? I am not worthy of marrying you or anyone else. I don't have anything left to give you any more. Just go please…" Bani covered her face with her hands and soft sobs racked her body. She stammered through her crying, "Pia is the one who…you should be asking to marry… not me…She is more worthy of you than me."
Jai removing her hands gently, the emotions within him reflecting in his eyes , "Bani, I don't love Pia…I love you Bani."
A pained look swept through her eyes and she looked at him aghast, "You can't…I can't…"
"You can't what Bani?" Jai asked softly, "Do you still love Mohan?"
A cry strangled out of her, "No…I never loved him."
Jai holding her close now his voice almost steely, "Tell me about Mohan…please. I want to know."
Bani still shaking, "There is nothing to tell. He never loved me, He married me for money. He said maa paid him two lakhs to marry me. To him it was just a deal, he needed money to start business and so he agreed."
The anger in his voice obvious, "Does anyone else know Kiran did this?"
"No. Baba paid the money thinking it was dahej." Bani hiccupped, "Baba would never have agreed if he knew what had done."
Jai asked the question which Rano would not answer, "How did he die?"
"He fell down the stairs. He came home drunk one night and started abusing me. He kicked me in the stomach and I fell. My younger sister try to stop him, I was five months pregnant…she tried to stop her brother and in the struggle he fell down and struck his head on the marble table. I took all the blame. I couldn't let the family hurt Sonali for helping me." She looked up at him, her eyes seeking in his assurance that she did the right thing by protecting Sonali. Sonali had become another Rano…a quieter version, but none the less someone she could talk to.
"I am not sorry it happened. And you were brave to take on all the hatred upon yourself. It couldn't have been easy for you to see and hear them accusing of killing him." He lowered his lips and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Will you think about what I said? I will talk to Nishikant on his return. What ever you decide Bani just remember Pia will never be my wife."
A Brief Love Letter (by Nizar Qabbani)
My darling, I have much to say
Where o precious one shall I begin ?
All that is in you is princely
O you who makes of my words through their meaning
Cocoons of silk
These are my songs and this is me
This short book contains us
Tomorrow when I return its pages
A lamp will lament
A bed will sing
Its letters from longing will turn green
Its commas be on the verge of flight
Do not say: why did this youth
Speak of me to the winding road and the stream
The almond tree and the tulip
So that the world escorts me wherever I go ?
Why did he sing these songs ?
Now there is no star
That is not perfumed with my fragrance
Tomorrow people will see me in his verse
A mouth the taste of wine, close-cropped hair
Ignore what people say
You will be great only through my great love
What would the world have been if we had not been
If your eyes had not been, what would the world have been?
I thought this would be a good place to stop. I think I answered the question most of you wanted to know what happened between Bani and Mohan. Leave some comments and I did read it over but if there are major bugs do point it out.
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