Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 3 | Thread 4 link updated on Page 150 - Page 111

Originally posted by: Pujakrishna

I was thinking, when arnav told khushi that lunatic lied of being pregnant, khushj gave no reaction to that, she doesn't even express shock or anything knowing that why an actress that she have also known for sometime will suddenly do something like that? In any other normal situation and conversation anyone will first ask this question, after getting that information.... but khushi didinot, the next what she asked is so you were not having an affair. WHY???

*because at that point she had much more important issues than asking why a woman will suddenly lie about her pregnancy to her husband

*because she was tired emotionally, she was tired of all the sudden turns that her life has taken.

Similarly,

When aman revealed all about the pregnancy to arnav, and he decided to do nothing, may be his reasons were also same. He was also tired and exhausted of all the unexpected turns and curve balls life is throwing towards him, his 10 years of marriage just ended at that point and his wife just left.

But may be because he is a man, a businessman and all of that some of us were (including me) was questioning his lack of action towards that information.

I am just trying to draw here a parallel between his and khushi's reaction to the same piece of information and i found their reactions pretty similar.

I don't know if i am able to articulate the whole thing properly, but all in all what i am trying to say is, this one piece of fake information has altered both of their lives to an extent and has always been a huge deal in their marriage but both of them have given pretty nonchalant reaction to it, because of the other situations in their life.

Originally posted by: Pujakrishna

I was thinking, when arnav told khushi that lunatic lied of being pregnant, khushj gave no reaction to that, she doesn't even express shock or anything knowing that why an actress that she have also known for sometime will suddenly do something like that? In any other normal situation and conversation anyone will first ask this question, after getting that information.... but khushi didinot, the next what she asked is so you were not having an affair. WHY???

*because at that point she had much more important issues than asking why a woman will suddenly lie about her pregnancy to her husband

*because she was tired emotionally, she was tired of all the sudden turns that her life has taken.

Similarly,

When aman revealed all about the pregnancy to arnav, and he decided to do nothing, may be his reasons were also same. He was also tired and exhausted of all the unexpected turns and curve balls life is throwing towards him, his 10 years of marriage just ended at that point and his wife just left.

But may be because he is a man, a businessman and all of that some of us were (including me) was questioning his lack of action towards that information.

I am just trying to draw here a parallel between his and khushi's reaction to the same piece of information and i found their reactions pretty similar.

Because this one news has effected both of their lives extremely. If lunatic had not come with the fake pregnancy, may be after khushi coming with the news of their family arriving for their anni would have made arnav confess his ONS to her and may be she would have forgiven also. But that one pregnancy news has soared his guilt to sky high where he couldnot even look at her and the need to get out of the marriage sky highed for him.

I don't know if i am able to articulate the whole thing properly, but all in all what i am trying to say is, this one piece of fake information has altered both of their lives to an extent and has always been a huge deal in their marriage but both of them have given pretty nonchalant reaction to it, because of the other situations in their life.

Originally posted by: Ashviniv

Swati a long post. before i say something i hope u had a great day yesterday

now i wont shot u down for being Arnav critic though i just have one point to mention. Here for the infidelity act, you are relying on arnav's word and his memories to term him guilty. fair point. even Arnav agrees with you here. though for me i wont even take his word as he was not in any condition to remember everything clearly. he has made up his mind that he is guilty and that's that.

now at the same time you don't take his word that he genuinely thought Khushi will prefer a child over him and she is unhappy because she cant have a child.

i just feel if we are taking his words to treat him guilty and lambast him then we have to take his words when he did things keeping Khushi in mind

does that make his behaviour towards khushi any less crass. No absolutely Not, does that mean khushi deserves what she got..Nope. it just means that then it doesn't make him selfish narcissist. He just made some very very wrong assumptions and that have costed him greatly

I am clearly going by his behavior more than what he says. And his behavior has been selectively cruel and demeaning towards Khushi and there is NO excuse for that.

He keeps on feeling - “For fleeting moments, he knew that the woman standing before him and then lying under him wasn't his Khushi,

So he knew and remembers (memory usually in terms of images when under influence) the woman under him was NOT Khushi. And Arpita just now confirmed Arnav has slept with Lavanya. This at least clears many doubts for all of us. No man can be r*ped being on top position over a woman. he is the one driving the act, so irrespective what and how much he drank, it was spiked, v***a or drugs, facts remains the same, he remembers going all the way.

So if he was in a position to do it in spite of all the drinks in his system, he is absolutely right when he thinks he should have also been in a position to stop himself which he could NOT. He fell for the lure, period.

AND HE DID CHEAT AFTERALL.

There is a form of sexual violence against men and this is again our lack of knowledge about the subject matter.

I would urge all to look up “made to penetrate”

Arnav being on top while remembering it does not confirm he was on top when the act started. As far as I remember, it was Lavanya who pushed him down on the bed and took charge. The line ended with Arnav did not protest.

Now, did not protest can also be taken into so many different ways. We have had discussions about male body giving in to stimulation. And let’s not fool ourselves by thinking Lavanya did not provide that stimulant to a barely sober man.

Him getting aroused by repeated stimulation under such heavy influence that he can’t even keep a safe distance from a railing is not him being a morally corrupt cheating man. It’s basic biology.

now if in the middle of it, he remembers being on top, doesn’t in any which way confirms that he started it. Especially if we consider how the act begun in the first place. Also especially since his memory is fragmented. Dude has like 2 seconds of memories of the night.

I have been reading up on stuff, just to understand everything and the questions that have been raised and I came across something that I was not aware was a legally recognized concept. I am just trying to share so people are aware this exists.

Following is a quote from CDC (Centers of Disease Prevention in US) regarding male rape/sexual assault:

"MTP (Made to penetrate) is a form of sexual violence that some in the practice field consider similar to rape. CDC measures rape and MTP as separate concepts and views the two as distinct types of violence with potentially different consequences. Given the burden of these forms of violence in the lives of Americans, it is important to understand the difference in order to raise awareness.

• Rape entails any completed or attempted unwanted penetration of the victim through the use of physical force or when the victim was unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.
• Being MTP occurs when the victim was made to, or there was an attempt to make them, sexually penetrate someone without consent as a result of physical force or when the victim is unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged, (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.

"

Now I also came across a lot of journals and articles trying to classify MTP as rape so the punishment is just as stringent. There were also many many statistics claiming that MTP is much more prevalent than it is reported (but hey that's true for rape as well).

Every country has a different "official" law on rape and what constitutes as rape. The definition of what constitutes rape has changed over time as society has come forward and accepted nuances to each situation.

Take for example:

"

“Forcible rape” had been defined by the UCR SRS as “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.” That definition, unchanged since 1927, was outdated and narrow. It only included forcible male penile penetration of a female vagina. The new definition is:

“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

For the first time ever, the new definition includes any gender of victim and perpetrator, not just women being raped by men. It also recognizes that rape with an object can be as traumatic as penile/vaginal rape. This definition also includes instances in which the victim is unable to give consent because of temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity. Furthermore, because many rapes are facilitated by drugs or alcohol, the new definition recognizes that a victim can be incapacitated and thus unable to consent because of ingestion of drugs or alcohol. Similarly, a victim may be legally incapable of consent because of age. The ability of the victim to give consent must be determined in accordance with individual state statutes. Physical resistance is not required on the part of the victim to demonstrate lack of consent. "

- US Justice Website

What I understand from what I read is that as society evolves, and we enter and see or are made aware of different situations and nuances, the definitions of rape evolve as well. Maybe tomorrow, MTP would also be legally considered rape. There are many groups rallying for this to be the case.

The one common factor that I have seen from all these definitions is that definitions are becoming clearer for one big purpose: Inclusivity, making rape a non-gendered thing, and last of all for the victim in the situation to realize and understand that they were not at fault.

I have only shared the above from what I have read/researched to make people aware. I was not aware of many of these terms and nuances and reading them up, as well as reading and gathering context on these situations has broadened my mind and I hope they will help you do the same.

P.S. I apologize to Arpita. I understand she mentioned that societal issues are not the focal point of this story. But I believe once the context is shared and a public forum is available, it is a disservice to society and the future generations to not have a discussion on the same. But I am sorry, if you feel this is not the right place for such discussions.

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Arpita, TY so much for confirming that Arnav has slept with La.

God, as a writer you have provoked so many feeling with us, it's unimaginable and unbelievable... If that's what a writer deserves a standing ovation for, you deserved it with this chapter! Best chapter so far! You have NOT minced words when Khushi takes Arnav to task...

I was so mad at his crass behavior, I just had to vent out and you can see it in my post as well. This is nothing personal but only an amazing writer has this capacity to make us feeling every emotion! It's time you take writing seriously and start writing books or for TV / OTT etc. Some of your heart wrenching dialogues will be super popular if part of real shows. There were so many in this chapter, take a bow!

Then your dialogues will be famous like that "Rasode me kaun that" dialogue.

As for Arnav, his position makes me stick to my analysis that he CHEATED and continued to CHEAT after the incident as well by being with La. I may be harsh but I am right and I will live with that.

Cheers,

Swati

Arpita, Tashi, Puja, Ashvini and Savera - TY so much for the Birthday Wishes, I had the best one with my boys... Yes my hubby is 6.1" so way taller than Barun.

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

so perceptive puja 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃♥️♥️♥️

Was that sarcasm?

Was I being silly?? 🤔

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I have been reading up on stuff, just to understand everything and the questions that have been raised and I came across something that I was not aware was a legally recognized concept. I am just trying to share so people are aware this exists.

Following is a quote from CDC (Centers of Disease Prevention in US) regarding male rape/sexual assault:

"MTP (Made to penetrate) is a form of sexual violence that some in the practice field consider similar to rape. CDC measures rape and MTP as separate concepts and views the two as distinct types of violence with potentially different consequences. Given the burden of these forms of violence in the lives of Americans, it is important to understand the difference in order to raise awareness.

• Rape entails any completed or attempted unwanted penetration of the victim through the use of physical force or when the victim was unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.
• Being MTP occurs when the victim was made to, or there was an attempt to make them, sexually penetrate someone without consent as a result of physical force or when the victim is unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged, (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.

"

Now I also came across a lot of journals and articles trying to classify MTP as rape so the punishment is just as stringent. There were also many many statistics claiming that MTP is much more prevalent than it is reported (but hey that's true for rape as well).

Every country has a different "official" law on rape and what constitutes as rape. The definition of what constitutes rape has changed over time as society has come forward and accepted nuances to each situation.

Take for example:

"

“Forcible rape” had been defined by the UCR SRS as “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.” That definition, unchanged since 1927, was outdated and narrow. It only included forcible male penile penetration of a female vagina. The new definition is:

“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

For the first time ever, the new definition includes any gender of victim and perpetrator, not just women being raped by men. It also recognizes that rape with an object can be as traumatic as penile/vaginal rape. This definition also includes instances in which the victim is unable to give consent because of temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity. Furthermore, because many rapes are facilitated by drugs or alcohol, the new definition recognizes that a victim can be incapacitated and thus unable to consent because of ingestion of drugs or alcohol. Similarly, a victim may be legally incapable of consent because of age. The ability of the victim to give consent must be determined in accordance with individual state statutes. Physical resistance is not required on the part of the victim to demonstrate lack of consent. "

- US Justice Website

What I understand from what I read is that as society evolves, and we enter and see or are made aware of different situations and nuances, the definitions of rape evolve as well. Maybe tomorrow, MTP would also be legally considered rape. There are many groups rallying for this to be the case.

The one common factor that I have seen from all these definitions is that definitions are becoming clearer for one big purpose: Inclusivity, making rape a non-gendered thing, and last of all for the victim in the situation to realize and understand that they were not at fault.

I have only shared the above from what I have read/researched to make people aware. I was not aware of many of these terms and nuances and reading them up, as well as reading and gathering context on these situations has broadened my mind and I hope they will help you do the same.

P.S. I apologize to Arpita. I understand she mentioned that societal issues are not the focal point of this story. But I believe once the context is shared and a public forum is available, it is a disservice to society and the future generations to not have a discussion on the same. But I am sorry, if you feel this is not the right place for such discussions.

oh please don’t apologise at all!! I did say that it wasn’t the issue in the FF but I’m beyond glad you guys are sharing this here. This point that you and Isha raised is absolutely important.

I consider myself better versed than average with the subject of male molestation and even I wasn’t aware of the term. I have read up on this a lot. Most of it comes down to me being empathetic, especially when I know this subject is not treated with the sensitivity it deserves. I probably would have been just as casual about this issue had a friend not gone through someone’s inappropriate advances. Nothing drastic happened and it still took a toll on him. Worst part of it was not being able to share with anyone since it wasn’t taken seriously. So what if you were touched without explicit consent? This came from both boys and girls and it makes me very sad.

So even if I don’t get into technicalities, at times just stepping away and looking at a situation with empathy leads me to decide between what is correct and what is not. Gender notwithstanding. I should probably read up more on it.

Completely agree with the definition though. Thanks a lot for stating this here. You’ve given me some solid food for thought.

Originally posted by: Pujakrishna

Was that sarcasm?

Was I being silly?? 🤔

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I have been reading up on stuff, just to understand everything and the questions that have been raised and I came across something that I was not aware was a legally recognized concept. I am just trying to share so people are aware this exists.

Following is a quote from CDC (Centers of Disease Prevention in US) regarding male rape/sexual assault:

"MTP (Made to penetrate) is a form of sexual violence that some in the practice field consider similar to rape. CDC measures rape and MTP as separate concepts and views the two as distinct types of violence with potentially different consequences. Given the burden of these forms of violence in the lives of Americans, it is important to understand the difference in order to raise awareness.

• Rape entails any completed or attempted unwanted penetration of the victim through the use of physical force or when the victim was unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.
• Being MTP occurs when the victim was made to, or there was an attempt to make them, sexually penetrate someone without consent as a result of physical force or when the victim is unable to consent due to being too drunk, high, or drugged, (e.g., incapacitation, lack of consciousness, or lack of awareness) from their voluntary or involuntary use of alcohol or drugs.

"

Now I also came across a lot of journals and articles trying to classify MTP as rape so the punishment is just as stringent. There were also many many statistics claiming that MTP is much more prevalent than it is reported (but hey that's true for rape as well).

Every country has a different "official" law on rape and what constitutes as rape. The definition of what constitutes rape has changed over time as society has come forward and accepted nuances to each situation.

Take for example:

"

“Forcible rape” had been defined by the UCR SRS as “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.” That definition, unchanged since 1927, was outdated and narrow. It only included forcible male penile penetration of a female vagina. The new definition is:

“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

For the first time ever, the new definition includes any gender of victim and perpetrator, not just women being raped by men. It also recognizes that rape with an object can be as traumatic as penile/vaginal rape. This definition also includes instances in which the victim is unable to give consent because of temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity. Furthermore, because many rapes are facilitated by drugs or alcohol, the new definition recognizes that a victim can be incapacitated and thus unable to consent because of ingestion of drugs or alcohol. Similarly, a victim may be legally incapable of consent because of age. The ability of the victim to give consent must be determined in accordance with individual state statutes. Physical resistance is not required on the part of the victim to demonstrate lack of consent. "

- US Justice Website

What I understand from what I read is that as society evolves, and we enter and see or are made aware of different situations and nuances, the definitions of rape evolve as well. Maybe tomorrow, MTP would also be legally considered rape. There are many groups rallying for this to be the case.

The one common factor that I have seen from all these definitions is that definitions are becoming clearer for one big purpose: Inclusivity, making rape a non-gendered thing, and last of all for the victim in the situation to realize and understand that they were not at fault.

I have only shared the above from what I have read/researched to make people aware. I was not aware of many of these terms and nuances and reading them up, as well as reading and gathering context on these situations has broadened my mind and I hope they will help you do the same.

P.S. I apologize to Arpita. I understand she mentioned that societal issues are not the focal point of this story. But I believe once the context is shared and a public forum is available, it is a disservice to society and the future generations to not have a discussion on the same. But I am sorry, if you feel this is not the right place for such discussions.

wow i didnot know this. Nor the terms nor the studies, though as u said as society we are evolving and understanding that men are victims too but i was still casual about this. i mean its a sensitive subject and i would have not even go there if it did not happen with my cousin who is a dear friend too. the truama he went through made me see at this subject more sensitively

but still i was so very ignorant. thanks for this. i feel as we are discussing these things, even if thats not the main objective of the story, it surely is helpful to know how our focus is so limited. When we understand other's POV we know how many things which we take casually are actually not to be taken casually. or how sometimes we selectively treat people and situations