Yesterday I was too busy to read the chapter properly to write my thoughts. Today I am ready to express & address few big elephants in the room without mincing my words -
1. Cheating vs R*pe vs Consensual S*x – When he is explaining his mishap with Lavanya and Khushi asks him, did he not know it was not her? At that point, his thoughts are “For fleeting moments, he knew that the woman standing before him and then lying under him wasn't his Khushi, and yet, he had been powerless to stop until they went all the way. He should have resisted the lure of temporary pleasure that would come at the expense of a lifetime of love, and he had no idea how he ended up falling for it.
She asked same questions again and his thoughts - Dying under guilt, Arnav had raked his brain repeatedly about that night, annoyed at the hazy memories but they were not blurry enough for him to escape the question Khushi just asked. No matter what had happened, his heart always arrived at the same conclusion. At the end of the day, he knew, and he failed. Those fleeting moments of awareness of his act with another woman were enough to kill him with guilt.
This tells me clearly that not just while kissing but also during final act of s*x, he knew the woman lying under him wasn't his Khushi and he still had s*x with the other woman. Please note the most important clue here that ARNAV WAS ON TOP AND LEADING THE ACTION, position matters the most in determining it consensual or NOT, if a woman was leading and the man was victim, their s*x position would be anything but he on the top, period. Now even with best case scenario, Aman confirms, MaLa D spiked his drink, La initiated, but he could have simply fallen on the side of La screaming his wife's name or crying, then even La might have had mercy on him... Even if La comes and explains both Arnav and Khushi about her motives and accept her share of mistake (which she might never do), how is he going to forget that he penetrated himself inside another woman who he knew was NOT his wife? Unless miraculously author /La change the stance in La chapter, where La confess opposite like he was still wearing his boxers, and nothing happened though he was on top of her. But then he remembers going through all the way, so it will be a conflict. So here I request Arpita to confirm this one, for once I want to be wrong for Khushi.
NO WONDER IT’S BEEN BLACK AND WHITE FOR ARNAV THAT HE CHEATED. There is no grey, there is NO ambiguity unfortunately. At this point in story with what I read, if La initiated kiss, he initiated the final act of s*x, as simple as that. Also note when he told this La incident to Akash or Khushi, he accepted it was a RAVE. So basically, he chose to stay back in a RAVE where he clearly knows random/group sex, alcohol& drugs are the main motive and the real worlds’ rules don't apply, he remembered twice it was NOT his wife, but he kissed back and went on to have s*x making him a clear-cut cheating ba$tard. Then he is being on top does NOT give him benefit of doubt any more whatsoever.
This aligns with his thought process above that he couldn’t resist the temptation. He had drunk around 8 drinks by his own choice in a RAVE, this itself had killed his opportunity to walk straight, forget going back by himself. He chose to be at mercy of others who can do anything to him and then he remembers what all he did with La. The only thing he is eligible to feel is tremendous guilt, shame, disgust, and repentance for life by choice just like staying back in an unknown RAVE party and drink heavily was his choice. Oh god so much for being the righteous soul! Keep Khushi aside, he didn't care about his hard-earned business status, self-respect, dignity, and image in society. Nevertheless, he still gets to run away as usual from the media / public for the sin he committed by taking care of his pics with La and safeguard his status while Khushi bore the brunt. A selfish characterless moron!
Arnav’s another thought when thinking about Aman’s investigation - The truth was again pointing towards Lavanya exploiting an opportunity that he presented to her on a silver platter. - Arnav also equally exploited the opportunity La provided by being under him. Now she can claim rape, Ta dah... Unless Arpita adds twist last minute and boxer plays a role, but I never expected that to happen before and not counting on it now also.
2. Divorce talks – Arnav discussed about the divorce with Akash in Sept 2015 and Akash told Payal, so they knew his thoughts and trouble in their marriage. Later in Nov, while talking to lawyer Basu with Aman, Arnav refers Khushi as his ex-wife stunning them both, so now the lawyer and Aman knew about his divorce before Khushi. Then of course, he told MaLa D before Khushi is established already. Payal and Akash simply jumping to wrong conclusions after seeing him with Naina is NOT true. He was planning to talk to Khushi and then to Naina and the second lawyer about the divorce after the will. So, divorce was in the discussion always. So, fact remains the same, he informed at least 6-8 people about his impending divorce before talking to Khushi! He has no excuse for this crime, when he says he was preparing for divorce for a year but did not inform her. And Akash and Payal’s conclusion was correct.
3. Khushi not informing Arnav about continuing to be on the BCP– During baby discussion after Leher’s birth, Arnav proposed to try for the baby and Khushi gave him a chance by asking was his decision after seeing Leher but his response made it crystal clear to her that he was lying through his teeth and was NOT ready. So here he lies, and she hides, making them equal culprits! She tried to restore their relationship first during that time and wanted to try baby in real sense later. “I thought you wanted a child more than anything, Khush. I wasn’t going to be ready. Ever. All those attempts, I was halfheartedly trying to push myself for you. You were right” – At least he acknowledged his folly and was truthful enough in not blaming her for the pills.
4. His fixation with La – I am appalled by Arnav’s gullibility when it comes down to La. La next day of mishap wakes up and tells him without any shame that she came on to him while they both were drunk and claimed it was No Big Deal! He was panicking and guilty as hell while being a woman, Lavanya was completely relaxed, and ok??? Such a stark contrast reaction?? What does that tell anyone, she was the one to throw RAVEs and so she must be in the similar situation with other men before, isn’t it? Else her reaction would have been worst than him! But only if Arnav ever used some brain and common sense? This guy has sympathy for this con woman without thinking deep and ordering a background check on her as soon as he came back and had audacity to cheat his wife by giving shoulder and care to this clingy woman, allowing her to hug him, lean on his shoulder and patting her head and what not. So, not just emotional but physical cheating continued without any alcohol, drugs and in broad daylight, Walla… He deserved the distress for two months, owing to his own dumbness… Also, note how he explains Khushi why he continued meeting La - “Khushi, I met her a few times because I thought she was pregnant” – Like really??? I don't get his behavior when it comes to La at all. Why is he covering for La, she had lied to him about pregnancy in the first place taking him for a ride and faked proofs too. And this is how he tells his wife; and this idiot is engineer, MBA and an astute businessman running conglomerate? And what’s with his nonsense about his mom’s words ringing in his ears “Chotey do the right thing” whenever he is going to Lavanya. He and his manipulative brain are convincing himself about meeting La is right when he knows it’s not; no married man is responsible for other woman behind his wife’s back especially with whom he had ONS. His mother loved Khushi the most, so she doesn’t remind him of his righteousness towards Khushi when he is blatantly ignoring or ill-treating Khushi but reminds him of his duties towards a sl*t?? Lies and more lies to gain self-sympathy, Khushi thankfully saw through his cheating.
5. Khushi’s status in his life – He was true when he said he has fallen out of love with her and he was done! No one can do such heinous behavior towards their loved ones! He would have never gone to get her back if it was not Shyam, he found it no problem to give shoulder to La while ignoring Khushi, He never found it an opportunity to inform her about divorce when he was thinking bout it for months, he found no time to inform her about his cheating and the list goes on. Only one mistake she did was talk about having baby when they were stabilized. He never understood her before, not now, all his attempts now are to bail himself out and get some peace for himself, remember he can’t sleep and has turned into wallowing in self-pity pig! He wants to atone his mistakes, no sins by getting her back. He was never going to do right by her, never! He had let go of her last year and his behavior and no realization or guilt before reading the letter justifies it. How convenient for him to say he was guilty to desert her in their room and run away with an excuse of his own heart & brain messes up and his own misery, suddenly he is enlightened saint that he understands her pain and Khushi is supposed to buy that?? Oh yes, he also wants her to believe she matters to him the most after giving her live proofs otherwise the whole year. And now he wants to talk, go to the counselor, wow! But Khushi again shot him down royally by saying - “Sure Arnav. Let’s talk. But you’re about a year and a drunken mistake too late.” She shot down his fake care too. She was back because of his guilt, responsibility and NOT love. So true, this man can never love anyone else but himself and his own misguided notions. A selfish narcissist monster he is, I am glad he at least recognizes himself well.
He was the wrong one here all along while Khushi made the biggest mistake of setting the bar low and loving him to this extent. But Khushi's blindfold has opened, she's put him in place and no longer sucking up his lies, fake care and screwed up righteousness.
6. Arnav’s communication is never a problem – Arnav’s communication was never a problem. He was sarcastic about her visits to Lucknow, there is life beyond domesticity and expressed all these to her in no-nonsense words. Then during divorce, I will take care of alimony, tells her he will send the things she has forgotten, clearly tells her we have drifted apart. Look at his tone when talking related to Lavanya, he covered up for her by saying he thought she was pregnant, he ruined her life. It shows so much care for La while cold blooded attitude towards Khushi! He is toxic monster to Khushi who knows what to say to hurt her but will never express love because he never loved her unconditionally ever.
7. If Arnav has any mental health issues – At this point, I truly doubt if Arnav has any mental issues. He might have just trauma about some incident with Anjali and her baby, but nothing can justify his selective cruelty towards Khushi. He just took her for granted is the truth. Usually mentally disturbed people show signs that others can make out. And Arnav has never shown any signs to others.
I can go on, but Khushi really needs to get out of his toxicity and NOT give him any right to decide anything for her! He doesn't deserve her at all any more! As Payal says she deserves better! His behavior before and after La mishap is crasser than the La incident itself. Oh boy, what was I thinking when comparing this story to Star Wars. You made it true; Arnav had turned Darth Wader already due to fear of the baby (As I have been demanding forever, I really, truly hope he has a super-duper valid reason for not having the baby) though it’s never going to bail him out.
Arpita - Long ago in initial chapters, you had confirmed he cheated on Khushi. Did you reconfirm now or we have to wait La chapter? I truly want to see your feedback before others shot me down for being harsh on Arnav!
-Swati
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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