Ashlok FF - You've Won My Heart! (Chapter 10 updated on page 138) - Page 84

Originally posted by: Sam_15

And guess what? I was looking for someone to give me constructive criticism and...congratulations, u r the winner 😉😆

But on a serious note...I wanted to ask you something. Do you think there was any part which felt unconvincing? I am just a little doubtful as to whether I am building Ashlok's relationship well. I know people tell me I am but I still feel doubtful. You tell me honestly, what do u feel? U see I want to start bridging the gap between them now but mostly from Shlok's front. I want to show him to start developing some pleasant feelings for Astha unlike before when he was very unpleasant to her. But I am afraid that I may be turning his character inconsistent along the way...u know abruptly bring a drastic change in him? Sometimes it makes sense to me because I ahve got the whole sequence of incidents in my head planned but I am not sure how you as a reader would be feeling about this change. Does it seem natural?

I am not even sure if I am making sense here😆

Originally posted by: Aishaa3

yeh kiske liye tha?

Originally posted by: Sam_15

Thanks a lot Aisha 🤗 Loved ur hilarious review on my update 😆😆

Originally posted by: Sam_15

U...didn't I mention that? 😕 Oops 😆😆

Originally posted by: Aishaa3

btw I kindof understood this was for me just confirming😆

Originally posted by: Aishaa3

Hehe...of course. You are the one of the very few I trust the most when I need some advice because I know you will be honest and tell me as it is 😊

Originally posted by: Sam_15

And guess what? I was looking for someone to give me constructive criticism and...congratulations, u r the winner 😉😆 Me?? Woww😃 Of course! Koi shak! 😛

But on a serious note...I wanted to ask you something. Do you think there was any part which felt unconvincing? I am just a little doubtful as to whether I am building Ashlok's relationship well. I know people tell me I am but I still feel doubtful. You tell me honestly, what do u feel? U see I want to start bridging the gap between them now but mostly from Shlok's front. I want to show him to start developing some pleasant feelings for Astha unlike before when he was very unpleasant to her.

No its really consistent!😳😳 Oh really? Phew 😃

But I am afraid that I may be turning his character inconsistent along the way...u know abruptly bring a drastic change in him? Its not abrupt...he is slowly reving how they used to be friends...trust me friendship is best way to start a love story😳😉 Oh I'm glad I'm on the right track then and most importantly it's sounding natural 😃

Sometimes it makes sense to me because I ahve got the whole sequence of incidents in my head planned but I am not sure how you as a reader would be feeling about this change. Does it seem natural? Very much...If you have got it in your head there must be some reason...its cant be random, since its your first fiction you are obv. putting your heart here! Yeah it's not random for sure. These current events will be building point of the future events.. 😊

I am not even sure if I am making sense here😆 you did😃 Thanx to you I just realised I am such a good motivator😛😳 Oh that you are...and a great one too 😃 Thanks a lot for the help 🤗 I was feeling restless since I updated this part. I felt I am going wrong somewhere 😳 But feel a lot better now after talking to u 😳😃

Originally posted by: Sam_15

Originally posted by: Aishaa3

Mosht welcum🤗


Ps-kiddo is going to be super jealous😆