Posted:
Unknown Feelings
(For Muskanp's FF - Dreams)
My life has changed in the last few months
It moves on a rhythm of its own free will
It summons me dance on its melodious tunes
Just like Radha danced to Krishna's flute
My mind, body and soul are in sync with each other
They repeatedly beat on one single tune
A tune that brings me closer and closer
Closer to Garv and to Maan
How did they become an essential part of me? Even I do not know
I hardly know them, yet I know them from ages ago
They are a part of me, my mind, body and soul
It is a need, need so deep that it is hard to explain
A need to hold, to feed, to soothe and to protect
A need for me to be with him every second, minute and day
A need for me to never let him out of my sight
A need for him, to be mine and only mine
A need for him to be my son and I his mother.
But, how can I think like this?
Is he really mine? Or am I living in a dream with my eyes closed?
Maan is married and it is his child.
Then how can Garv be mine?
Yet, I crave for Garv and for Maan
How can I perform such a shameful act?
Of dreaming about another man
The shock, the shame, the guilt and the realization tortures me from within
Yet, I feel hopeless because my heart beats only for both of them
And I shamelessly accept the love I have for both of them.
My Garv and My Maan!
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