Originally posted by: nairprasu
Hey girls!
This topic is really getting to be interesting and enlightening. Here's my story...
I've been this passionate soul that shocked the hell out of others when I was growing up...not because I did anything 'shocking' (I did not have a single boyfriend or hold hands with a guy until I got married)...but because people kinda anticipated that I would (do something shocking...I mean).
My mother would read my poems and blush....I had a professor who read some of my stuff and invited me in for a discussion. She was like...I cant believe you can write all this without any experience....I grinned and said...well I thought all you needed was imagination...!;-)
I was very accepting of live-in relationships and pre-marital sex ...but I never ifelt the urge to ndulge in that myself...simply because I possibly didnt come across a guy that I wanted to bed. I respected myself too much to experiment with someone that I didn't feel anything for....
That's probably the reason I opted for an arranged marriage...
Got married to a guy who was the exact opposite of the open, bindaas person I was. He however had 2 traits that I admired a lot - he was very honest and very family oriented.
Took me a while to get over the fact that he would never make my knees turn into jelly with his smouldering eyes...or make love to me under the stars (he would remind me that there were too many mosquitoes on the terrace...!)....
But I learnt over the years that he gave me something way more precious than those romantic moments. He stood by me always...supported me in my career choices...was visibly proud of every achievement that I made in my work life...encouraged me to go to MIT... and ahem...had eyes only for me all the while. He made me feel warm and safe and at ease with myself and our relationship. I didn't worry ever about other women stealing him...because they didnt seem to (don't seem to) exist for him. I can tell him my deepest darkest fears and he listens even when he does not understand. He makes these special soups for me when I have all-nighters to pull off at work. I could go on and on....it has been 14 years and I cant imagine my life without him.
We have just turned forty and it is interesting to note that he observed that I was spending a little too much time reading Sridevi's FF and watching Geet. He sat thru a few episodes and was like...I was not as romantic ...right? Sorry. I guess I have a lot of making up to do....
Marriage can be a beautiful thing...when you have the right partner.
Let me clarify, LIVE-IN Relationships are not just about sex or about bedding someone. It is also about sharing your life, your dreams, your fears. It is about companionship, friendship.
Why 2 people would want to stay together but would not get hitched on to the bandwagon called marriage could be some of the reasons:
1- they do not give much importance to something the society gives so much importance to aka marriage
2- they don't care much for the institution of marriage
3- they may not like to be committed just for the sake of being committed
4- they may feel that marriage is an obligation that they fulfill for someone else's sake rather than for their own sakes
5- they may feel that their relationship is strong enough that it does not need societal approval
6- any or none of the above
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