Geet-How important is HONOUR? - Page 5

@Dangelz....thanks! Yeah, I'm trying to look at it the same way!

No offense taken Khushboo!!!😃

I'm with Sofna here. As much as we wish it to be. when it comes to a woman, honor is indeed a certificate. Feminists may shout from the rooftops, but at the end of the day, esp. in the Indian sub-continent, a woman's character is always judged. The urban class may seem to be changing on the surface. But deep down, the society is still rooted to old mindsets.

As for divorce, the mindset may be changing. But it is still considered taboo. And always, its the woman to blame. I have come across a case where the wife preferred to stay in an abusive marriage, than walk out on her husband. And we're talking about a well educated, financially independent woman here.

@Ritika...I'm not denying it's true. But a girl can hope, can't she? And so sorry to hear about the woman you mentioned. Women need to change first...society can be worked upon later. Aah.

Originally posted by: Khushboo_AN

@Ritika...I'm not denying it's true. But a girl can hope, can't she? And so sorry to hear about the woman you mentioned. Women need to change first...society can be worked upon later. Aah.

WORD Khushboo. Nothing ever works out unless the women themselves are willing to take a stand.

@Ritika...yeah, if we don't change our own mentalities, then it's futile to even expect that society will change. We ourselves need to inforce this vital change, and so we need to move ahead of this stone-age beliefs in the first place!

@ khusboo, dangelz - im a bengali too! lolzz

Hmm, my take on on honor and the current situation, as I myself come a conservative family, which however values its womenfolk. If it wasn't for those values, then for sure I would have not been the 1st woman engineer in my family.

Yes honor is important for all families. And whether you like to accept or not, honor and women are closely interlinked in Indian culture.

1. Yes, the men in Geet's family have goofed up big time. But the one I would hold responsible is Geet's father. It was his daughter. If he had a slight suspicion, he should have taken his brother and Brij in confidence putting once again the family honor at stake by telling Brij "Pehle pata karo chup chap jaldi. Agar shadi ke baad kuch gadbad huyi, toh saari izzat mitti mein jaayegi". Brij like any other brother or cousin-brother would have gotten to the bottom of this then. Another thing I'd like to point out, a few of my own cousin-brothers are protective like Brij but thank god not abusive like him. They will go to any extend to protect me and respect the promises to the rakhis that I've tied on them since I was a kid.

2. Darji's telling Geet to act like an unmarried girl. Well he's thinking about the future. Yes, the men should have approached, and supported Geet better. They should have taken her in confidence and told her everything. After Geet burned her wedding dress, the men (minus Brij) should have suggested them selves that she become stronger by studying further. If she did that, then her eyes would get opened and understand chasing Dev is futile. Yes, definitely she should take revenge, but then by becoming educated would help her plan her revenge smartly (Have any of you read the Count of Monte Cristo? See how the Count extracts revenge. Amazing book I tell you).

Darji is also right because of the following:
a. The whole marriage was a sham. No concrete proof to validate the marriage. No marriage certificate, fake pundit, second marriages don't count, fake jewellery etc...
There is nothing on the side of law that Darji can really take. Even proving Dev is guilty of cheating them is a difficult task. So kanoon se shayad hi koi umeed ho.

b. The future of Geet: If everyone knows what happened to Geet, who will come forward and take her hand? Listen this is rural area. You can not expect Geet to stay like the way she is because people this is not like the USA where divorcees and single mothers can manage. Geet will be taunted, made fun of etc.. in society. Tiltil kar mar jaayegi woh.

c. The future of the Handa family: If everyone knows, along with Geet, the whole family will be ridiculed. And then no one will look at the Handas with respect, forget about getting decent proposals for Rajji.

There is a lot at stake here. For conservative families, honor and life are connected. If Geet or any of her family members die of humiliation, it will affect everyone else as well.