Geet-How important is HONOUR?

First Previous

Page

Frequent Posters

Khushboo_AN

@Khushboo_AN

Sparkler

Posted: 15 years ago

#51

Originally posted by: averma4583
Hmm, my take on on honor and the current situation, as I myself come a conservative family, which however values its womenfolk. If it wasn't for those values, then for sure I would have not been the 1st woman engineer in my family.

Yes honor is important for all families. And whether you like to accept or not, honor and women are closely interlinked in Indian culture.

1. Yes, the men in Geet's family have goofed up big time. But the one I would hold responsible is Geet's father. It was his daughter. If he had a slight suspicion, he should have taken his brother and Brij in confidence putting once again the family honor at stake by telling Brij "Pehle pata karo chup chap jaldi. Agar shadi ke baad kuch gadbad huyi, toh saari izzat mitti mein jaayegi". Brij like any other brother or cousin-brother would have gotten to the bottom of this then. Another thing I'd like to point out, a few of my own cousin-brothers are protective like Brij but thank god not abusive like him. They will go to any extend to protect me and respect the promises to the rakhis that I've tied on them since I was a kid.

2. Darji's telling Geet to act like an unmarried girl. Well he's thinking about the future. Yes, the men should have approached, and supported Geet better. They should have taken her in confidence and told her everything. After Geet burned her wedding dress, the men (minus Brij) should have suggested them selves that she become stronger by studying further. If she did that, then her eyes would get opened and understand chasing Dev is futile. Yes, definitely she should take revenge, but then by becoming educated would help her plan her revenge smartly (Have any of you read the Count of Monte Cristo? See how the Count extracts revenge. Amazing book I tell you).

Darji is also right because of the following:
a. The whole marriage was a sham. No concrete proof to validate the marriage. No marriage certificate, fake pundit, second marriages don't count, fake jewellery etc...
There is nothing on the side of law that Darji can really take. Even proving Dev is guilty of cheating them is a difficult task. So kanoon se shayad hi koi umeed ho.

b. The future of Geet: If everyone knows what happened to Geet, who will come forward and take her hand? Listen this is rural area. You can not expect Geet to stay like the way she is because people this is not like the USA where divorcees and single mothers can manage. Geet will be taunted, made fun of etc.. in society. Tiltil kar mar jaayegi woh.

c. The future of the Handa family: If everyone knows, along with Geet, the whole family will be ridiculed. And then no one will look at the Handas with respect, forget about getting decent proposals for Rajji.

There is a lot at stake here. For conservative families, honor and life are connected. If Geet or any of her family members die of humiliation, it will affect everyone else as well.

Nice to hear your take on this.

I come from a mixed family, whose outlook towards life in general happens to be very modernised. We've always been taught to stick to what we think is right, no matter how many fingers are pointed at us, and even if we're made fun of.

I know of many stories of gritty women, who, even in a very conservative family in Pakistan (o offence to anyone from Pakistan who might be reading this) managed to survive as a single mother.

I understand what you're saying, but to change the mindset, it's important that women ake once step in the unconventional direction. So what if she has hardships, i think she's got enough grit to live through it all. Education is extremely necessary if she wants to take revenge and also if she wants to give the child a good life.

Even despite living in a rural area, she's got every right to follow her own mind and heart. If she makes up her mind not to listen to society, whatever people say will not have any effect on her.

Call me a thorough feminist, but I always believe in asserting one's views. And she could well move into a city if she really wants to keep the child. She has every right to keep the child, and I hope she sticks to her decision.

Honour and women are pretty much synonymous in most Indian families, I know that. But since I myself come from a family which sincerely believes in independence and thinks that honour is a private matter, I beg to differ.

But thanks for providing a contrasting perspective. 😊