Jokes - Page 51

Maybe you have got this.......
I recently read that love is entirely a
matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic
waste.

David Bissonette


When a man steals your wife, there is
no better revenge than to
let him keep her.

Sacha
Guitry


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay
together.

Hemant Joshi


By all means marry. If you get a good
wife, you'll be happy. If
you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.

Socrates


Woman inspires us to great things, and
prevents us from
achieving them.

Dumas


The great
question... which I have not been able to answer...
is, "What does a woman
want?

Sigmund Freud


I had some words with my wife, and she had
some paragraphs with
me.

Anonymous


"Some people ask the
secret of our long marriage. We take time
to go to a restaurant two times a
week. A little candlelight,
dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes
Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman


"I don't worry about
terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison


"There's
a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's
called marriage."

James Holt McGavran


"I've had bad luck with
both my wives. The first one left me and
the second one
didn't."

Patrick Murray


Two secrets to keep your marriage
brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're
right, shut up.

Nash


The most effective way to remember your
wife's birthday is to
forget it once...

Anonymous


You know
what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny
Youngman


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.

Rodney Dangerfield


A good wife always forgives her
husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle


Marriage is the only
war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous


A man inserted
an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next
day he received a hundred
letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have
mine."

Anonymous


First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're
lucky, mine's still
alive."

caryn great i had my dose of laughter 🤣

Caryn, super wifey thathuvangal!!!
😆

A Russian, an American and a Surd, shared an apartment in the 100th floor on a Highrise.

One day when they returned from work they discovered that, the elevator was not working. As they were extremely tired and wanted to sleep, they decided to take the stairs anyways.

The American suggested that as it is going to be a very tedious exercise, they can do something fun climbing the stairs. He said " I will sing some fast numbers for the first 1/3 way and we will feel charged"

The Russian said " That would be nice, the next 1/3 I will say some funny jokes"

Then they both told the Surd, that he can come up with a really emotional story for the rest of the way, which will make them cry.

The first few floors went by pretty quick as the American sang some really peppy numbers.

Then came the turn of the Russian, who came up with hilarious Russian jokes, and they climbed lot more floors.

Now they told the Surd, "Come on man, its your turn"
Surd said, I am thinking for some nice story, but lets keep climbing anyway."

They all climbed and climbed, but still no story from Surd. He kept saying that he is still thinking. Finally the all three reached the 100th floor and the American and Russian glared at the Surd and said, that he cheated.

The surd sighed with relief, beamed and said," You guys are so wrong, I have a really tearful story, I just wanted us to reach the top floor, to tell that"

American and Russian asked in an exasperated tone, "What the heck is that story, tell it dammit"

Looking very pleased the Surd said - " We left the keys to the door downstairs,in the car."

Kavi, Caryn, Suram and Mathi .... good one 👏👏

engineering collegela padicha engineer aagalaam.
presidency college la padicha president aaga mudiyumaa?


auto'kku auto'nnu pEr irundhaalum...
manual'aa thaan driver panna mudiyum


thookka marundhu saappittaa thookkam varum...
aanaa irumal marundhu saappttaa irumal vararuma



handwash endraal kai kazhuvadhu
facewash endraal mugam kazhuvadhu
appO brainwash endraal?


tea cup'la tea irukkum
appa world cup'la world irukkanumE

Kavi kadicha kadila kazuthuu summma.......
Suparo super ma 😆

Why Divorce

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, " I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, " What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage ?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

" Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you ?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, " Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.

" I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

that is a real chiller vani!!! 😆