New Arshi TS: Moirai's Gambit COMPLETED| Part 3| Page 11| 9/10 - Page 5

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Srujana7.MaNan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#41
That was amazing. Now please post the epilogue soon. I will give a detailed comment after it.😃
Arshi67 thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#42
Part one

"he and self would be irreconcilable"
Ria, such a lovely way of putting across his certain despondency should he never find her.

I love that he has no photograph of her, just vivid memories. It adds to the intensity of the piece.

The way he was drawn to her chatter during the train journey, however spurious her yarns, was so simply but wonderfully written. You truly got a sense of the miles being eaten up as her voice enveloped his being, drawing him to her.

"drops from heaven that have found sojourn on your skin."
Yet another beautiful sentence! How can it be mere rainwater if it's touched her skin ...


Even though it's Arnav's own fault for faltering when he could have grasped her hand, you still feel desperately sad that their love will not reach fruition, The depth of emotions you've conveyed makes it impossible to feel otherwise. You're willing that parcel to reach her.

And then that awful moment when he does see her after two years. But the fact that she's sitting on his left indicated that they weren't man and wife as yet ...

AsmaXx thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#43
a sheer torture, when you hung us without Epilogue 😛
Armela thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#44
A beautifully written story. loved it.
chotidesi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: Arshi67

Part one

"he and self would be irreconcilable"
Ria, such a lovely way of putting across his certain despondency should he never find her.

I love that he has no photograph of her, just vivid memories. It adds to the intensity of the piece.

The way he was drawn to her chatter during the train journey, however spurious her yarns, was so simply but wonderfully written. You truly got a sense of the miles being eaten up as her voice enveloped his being, drawing him to her.

"drops from heaven that have found sojourn on your skin."
Yet another beautiful sentence! How can it be mere rainwater if it's touched her skin ...


Even though it's Arnav's own fault for faltering when he could have grasped her hand, you still feel desperately sad that their love will not reach fruition, The depth of emotions you've conveyed makes it impossible to feel otherwise. You're willing that parcel to reach her.

And then that awful moment when he does see her after two years. But the fact that she's sitting on his left indicated that they weren't man and wife as yet ...


Thank you, for saying everything I was thinking with such eloquence.
Kishmish thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#46
Lovely story ... and very well written ...
Would love an epilogue ... 😆
You better give us an epilogue 😡
and not leave us heartbroken ...
shree10 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#47
Rahat ki saans after reading part 2!!

But dusht, sadistic Aman, how could you stop there.. Rehem karo and give us third part epilogue whatever where they meet and "become one" !!😉

Then who the eff married Akash's cousin?
henamani thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#48
really ... do u even need to ask
epilogue de do abhi ke abhi
rulama thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#49
Of course the finale is needed!
I'll post my comments only after you complete the story Ria...😉
Girlabouttown thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#50
that was such an amazing story.
please we do need the epilogue

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