Torn Pages of a Diary...[Last Chapter - p 45]

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Onir

@Onir

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

😊

---Edit---

This one here was so full of adrenaline... it started with a monlogue & about one person. Then it went onto dialogues with the whole team as a unit. Loved this progression as it mirrored the sentiments of the update.

The captain knew that loosing this match had so much on stake for him. He has his whole carrer plan chalked out but also a lot depended on this match. He is no doubt hard working but yet does believe somewhere that actions of others also affect each one invloved in the team. He could have used any tactic to pep them up, encourage them... He could scold them for their carelessness, could order them as being the leader its within his capacity, also give them long speech on strategy & planning. But no, he did something that a person - lover of the game would do. He didn't show them that what all depended on this match for all of them but showed them the path they had once taken that led them here to depend on a game for achieving the better future. He showed them that they including him are here for the game & not the game is here played for them. The whole perspective change was so well brought out... 👏

I loved the sadist pleasure explaination, sometimes being a sadist helps a lot, just to vent it out & then channelise your energies purposefully. 😆

Loved it... 😊

Edited by Onir - 12 years ago

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khwaishfan

@khwaishfan

Elite

+ 9

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

fab update! Well written..update soon

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Madhuri

@Madhuri53

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

Loved the part

Loved the captain rasiing his team's spirit & boosting them to win the loosing battle

Very well written

Who is this captain

Cont soon

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893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

I don't care who the characters are, so I am not even going to venture a guess as to who he is. I love the feel of the scenes here. He needed to leave the locker room craze after games instead of basking in glory. He seems like a purposeful young man. His goal was achieved and he does not want to drown in it. He walks away and finds a gift instead. The girls dancing together and the music playing in the background built it up beautifully for me. There is so much depth to Rehman's music you can do possibly any dance form with it. I can attempt a twirl since I have two left feet which still does not make me stop trying esp with such beats. Fake bollywood steps and you can feel like a dancer, that's me...😊 Sometimes preconceived notions take away the opportunity of visualization and that happened to me when I saw the salwar kameez description for Naina... Oh well, I like that you blew that theory out of the water. I like surprises like that. Couple of pages of this diary and I am wanting to read more and more. Thanks for the return gift...❤️🤗

Edited by dqno1 - 12 years ago

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Onir

@Onir

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

😊

---Edit--

Dance like no one's watching you... so true. This is what dance infuses in you. A feeling of exhilaration, freedom form all inhibitions, a let out to all the repressed energies. I can so relate to it.

The surrounding was so well explained & in sync with the emotions the writer of the diary is going through. The setting sun & the whole scene was so well portraying the exact feeling of exhuberation of winning the match, an achievment yet soothing & calming within him, of fulfiling his dreams.

His thoughts about the age difference was so much in lines with all human mentality, each one of us sometime have done this comparision.

His need for freshness away from the euphoria, of time for himself... though wants to enjoy with them yet wants time for his own contemplation & also to have a view of his angel a soothing breeze in all the blowing winds of change.

I loved the song ... the beats, the rhythm, the feel was so visioned. I could picturise the whole song & dance steps, So clearly see it happening in front of me. Kathak & contemprorary is a strong combo... & very lovely to watch. Though kathak isn't my cup of tea... yet I love the dance form.

So Naina it is... her eyes are captivating, & a true angel... I'm loving her & waiting for more... 😊

Edited by Onir - 12 years ago