ArsHi FF - The First Rain-Imp NOTE on Page 22

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Nameera

@Nmyra

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

Mr and Mrs P ki jai ho!!!

The dedication was super cute!!

On tot the story - I loved how the image forms in my head as i read this -- i could see rain and the light drizzle, i cud smell the gol gappas - In short I adore how you build the scene around the characters.

Waiting to see how this goes

Much Love,

Nami!

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112642

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

ummm raabavey eats sex, so RES

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hilly

@hilly

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Panktiii !

such a beautiful start this was ! :D
...

I'm in love with this soft, adoring, and emotional OS ! gaaah. Loved it.

Loved the whole atmosphere around the crazy, playful rainfall (which btw I feel like soaking in, along with the spicy, chatpaatta, GolGappaas.

...

I wish I could have it all .. right now !

,...

splendid job ! continueee , or so I wish.

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AngelTeen

@AngelTeen

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

I absolutely love this song. It has that quality to take you back to some place you think you have left behind and thats what it does here to with Khushi. She feels that pull to the man and his daughter, not understanding why but not caring to examine either. She is just attracted to them and that acts like the flow for her. For me, it was also representative of the moment she first defies her parents (in a serious way because the number of times you have slipped in bits about her illness makes me feel it might be something bad but I hope it isnt) because in the flashback moment she has with the studies part she comes across as an agyaakaari beti type of person who was attracted to Arnav then but chose her studies, like her parents would have wanted her to (?) but love doesnt go away that easy, does it?

A very beautiful start. Pankti. The rain, the boats, the chaat, the yellow umbrella...made it all so magical where you thought it was just love at first sight but then started realizing it had been love at first sight meeting again. Do continue if you can. I absolutely loved it.

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AngelTeen

@AngelTeen

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

And I loved the reason you are writing it and for whom. Makes it all the more special. :)

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norolim

@norolim

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

That was just so beautiful. What a simple, wonderful thing you just penned down.

Absolutely lovely.

Avi

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Kalyaani B Rao

@Kalyaani

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

You had me hooked with the song; it is one of my favorites, soulful and beautifully rendered. The song fits so well with the start of the story, I am not going to accept this as a one shot, call me unreasonable, this is going to continue and for many reasons, this takes me to the answering a question paper mode.

List the five merits and demerits of 'The first rain'

Merits-

1. The prose, beautifully written; holding promise, the author must continue

2. Arnav and Khushi, this is a valid reason (I'm being nice to the author and placing this second)

3. The premise, love, lost to be found again, so bloody interesting

4. Romance (nah I am not that romantic, just this is a merit, yes it is, going to argue with me?)

5. It holds a lot of promise; one must encourage good work, right?

Demits-

This will be written if this stays a one shot.

I have made my claim for the next update and I am known for my impatient patience.

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AngelTeen

@AngelTeen

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: Kalyaani
You had me hooked with the song; it is one of my favorites, soulful and beautifully rendered. The song fits so well with the start of the story, I am not going to accept this as a one shot, call me unreasonable, this is going to continue and for many reasons, this takes me to the answering a question paper mode.
List the five merits and demerits of 'The first rain'
Merits-
1. The prose, beautifully written; holding promise, the author must continue
2. Arnav and Khushi, this is a valid reason (I'm being nice to the author and placing this second)
3. The premise, love, lost to be found again, so bloody interesting
4. Romance (nah I am not that romantic, just this is a merit, yes it is, going to argue with me?)
5. It holds a lot of promise; one must encourage good work, right?
Demits-
This will be written if this stays a one shot.
I have made my claim for the next update and I am known for my impatient patience.

This reminds me of Dr. Yash's 5 points, is it inspired from him? ;) :D

And I agree with the demerit. ;) :D

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inspiringstars

@inspiringstars

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: Kalyaani
You had me hooked with the song; it is one of my favorites, soulful and beautifully rendered. The song fits so well with the start of the story, I am not going to accept this as a one shot, call me unreasonable, this is going to continue and for many reasons, this takes me to the answering a question paper mode.
List the five merits and demerits of 'The first rain'
Merits-
1. The prose, beautifully written; holding promise, the author must continue
2. Arnav and Khushi, this is a valid reason (I'm being nice to the author and placing this second)
3. The premise, love, lost to be found again, so bloody interesting
4. Romance (nah I am not that romantic, just this is a merit, yes it is, going to argue with me?)
5. It holds a lot of promise; one must encourage good work, right?
Demits-
This will be written if this stays a one shot.
I have made my claim for the next update and I am known for my impatient patience.

Thank you K for your kind words. You have very intelligently manipulated me into having just one option - which is to think about the continuation. And that I will, I promise.

I am glad you enjoyed the song, and the OS so much.

P.S I love how you keep calling it the start of a story, you are pretty insistent, arent you? Ha!

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riafna

@riafna

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

Wow great yaar...loved it ... superb...speechless 👏👏👍🏼.Enjoyed every bit...rain and her instinct to follow the little girl and her papa then she knew he was the same man or boy whom she loved ...and with a kid..Please continue send me PM when you update

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ArsHi FF - The First Rain-Imp NOTE on Page 22 - Page 2

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