ArsHi FF - The First Rain-Imp NOTE on Page 22 - Page 3

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emistry thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#21
wow! This was beautifully written!!

You wrote about father- daughter bond so nicely and khushi observing them.. Kya baath hain!!

Bohut ache!!
HeadOverHeels thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#22
Aahhh soft, soothing, gentle... What a lovely flow. The slow build up.. everything.

I like that you're descriptive, and that you give attention to deeper emotions while the scene continues to play out... Nicely done!

You have a great story here, but take your time with it.

Love and huggles!!
inajnar thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#23
First love ..Lost love ..Nostalgic memories.
On the whole simply magical !!
arushi05 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#24
Superb story. So well written. Please continue yaar
JerryTheMouse thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#25
Very swet OS. I definitely want to read more!

And I led how you described the rains... I have always loved the rain and your description just took me back to Mumbai.

Thank you!
KKKA thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#26
I STARS ...CONTINUE PLEASE

PM ME WHEN YOU UPDATE

IT WAS AWESOME JUST LIKE THE MAUSAM





KKKA
PepsiGirl101 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#27
AWWW! The connection of hearts is so mindblowingly beautiful. It's at times like these when I'm reading that I feel like magic can overpower reality.
Beautiful OS!

and yaar you better continue!!!
blck234 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#28
Awww it was so heartwarming.:) The father daughter duo touched my heart. And tugged at its strings. The picturization was beautiful. And the girl's yearning, very nicely depicted. Pls continue Thank you for the pm. And lots of wishes to Mr and Mrs inspiringstars!May you stay happy and together and in love always <3
reflorated thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#29
To think I wanted a first RES. 😆
First up, I am in love with the song. Like... I was singing while reading the OS.
This OS was the cutest ever Pankti, the cutest ever. What I loved was how you focussed on Khushi's emotions, AND kept the sorrounding in mind. How you made us smile, by taking us back to the days when mum's used to run after us for getting wet in the rains. This was an absolute treat to read and cherish. what I especially loved was how you brought something else, towards the end... like I thought this was going to be an OS about the unmindful relationship we form with strangers on the street. Maybe smiling at other... after having liked the same pair of jeans... you get what I mean, right?
Well, I thought this was going to be an OS about something like that, but I LOVED how you brought another factor in, not something I would have expected.
You are a brilliant writer! Keep writing. Thankoo phar da scrap, frnxx ❤️
-V
PS- you brought back the earthy smell of rain :') You bought back all the happy memories, which now bring me a very happy pain. :')
🤗
This is proabably the longest I have commented ever on IF, LOL! 😆
Edited by V323 - 13 years ago
oceanssea thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#30

Brilliant OS.

And the setting is the first rain...sign...loved it.
I could almost smell the mud ,wet after the first rain...it
is the one of the most wonderful aroma in the world.
Please don't let it remain an OS.Do continue.

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