D3 FF : Bereaved [Multifandom] #1

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Shishir Darsh

@marauder

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#291

Wait a minute! Nilesh gave Simmi a disgusted look 🤣 What an irony!!!

Now without delaying here is my comment.

Chapter 3 : First thing first. Swayam's illness seems a lot serious than what I had expected than in the first update. And now even though I am enjoying the updates a fear is lingering back in my mind that something bad, seriously bad is just round the corner. Even though its a painful part but I still liked the way you are putting in these small shots regarding Swayam's illness in middle. Its really keeping the mystery level up.

Coming to the other part of the update. You know you may have said this FF is based on Swayma's life but to be honest I am enjoying the every little bit of jealous Sharon which you are adding in this FF. Its really fun to read those part. Rest of the gang memebers have been depicted true to their self and are nicley fleshed out so far. Now coming to the new addition in the name of Gunjan. Its quite an interesting addition. Her character seems quite vital one and was even established nicley. Really liked her. Looking forward to see what part is she gonna play in this FF.

Well aaj kal ke liye itna hi. Ab baki chapter kal padhoonga.

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Aruba

@sweetcherry95

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#292

nyssh update

emotions verry well portrayed

update soon em waiting

and sorry for commenting late

i read it on the day u send the pm

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Nivriti

@agreatperhaps

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#293

Originally posted by: sweetcherry95
nyssh update
emotions verry well portrayed
update soon em waiting
and sorry for commenting late
i read it on the day u send the pm

Hey! :D I am glad you liked my Chapter! 😳 Toughest of them all abhi tak! 🤢

And no problems dear, at least you commented now! 😆

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Nivriti

@agreatperhaps

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#294

Originally posted by: marauder
I have started reading this FF. Hopefully I will be up to date with current updates as soon as possible. So here is my comment on first update -

Chapter one : First of all I would say thanks for begining the FF with the plot of Swayam leaving college track. Because personally what they showed in that track in the show was something which bounced above my head. So its really awesome to read another version of that storyline.

Moving forward I have never read a multifandom FF so I was apprehensive about it. But it was quite different but still enjoyable experience for me. Although there wasn't much to do for Arnav. Moving on perfectly written chapter. Mine favourite portion was the way Sharon bursted on Swayam and said he can't leave college without her permission. It was short but sweet portion, in complete sync with Sharon's character. Rey and Kriya part was also awesomely written. An yeah nice character additions in form of Swayam's twin sis and mom. Both made there presence felt.

So Swayam seems to be suffering from some disease. Well it seems like this FF is going to be emotional roller coaster ride. Will soon comment on second chapter after reading it.

- Shishir

Hey Shishir. Nice to see you .. 😳 New Reader I see! 😉

Well, firstly I would like to say, thank you so much for this descriptive comment and your analysis on my story! 🤗

I really needed someone to do that since it gives you the highlight of how the story is moving and also in which direction!

So, now coming to your comment! 😉

It's actually not a MULTI-FANDOM Fan Fiction, but basically more characters from other shows as well! 😆

And I am glad against your apprehensiveness, you read the First Chapter and also carried forward.

And yeah, the Mother and Sister portion.

Sometimes I feel the show doesn't have logic.🤪

They have up till now only showed Kria's Mother and not anybody else's. 🤔

Agreed it's a college / youth based show, but family is pretty important. 🤓

So, I tried to put in some family members and make the set-up look realistic, because if your son is ILL you wouldn't stay anywhere in the world and not worry about him.

Anyways, coming back to your comment!

Thank you so much for taking out time and commenting, makes me feel encouraged. 😳

Also. As earlier said, thank you so much for the chapter Analysis. I needed it! 😆

Second Chapter comment, will wait ! 😉

-Nivriti 😃

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Nivriti

@agreatperhaps

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#295

Originally posted by: marauder
And here I am with my comment on second chapter. Well I kind of got hooked to this FF. So I guess I will be commenting lot faster :)

Chapter 2 : Now your description of Swayam's room make me feel ashame on seeing the condition of my room. I guess I will clean it tomorrow only. 😳 . Simply awesome description of the room I can literally visualise the room creating itself before me with each update. Sharon's jealous side though in just two lines but was amusingly written. But what caught my eye in this update was Kriya and Swayam's friendship. Even though it was not focused upon but still it was wonderfully established.

And finally I would say fantastically established Swayam's character. Nice changes and addition to his overall attributes. I guess ab wo bhadkne wala hai in third chapter. And BTW more new characters? I guess I have find it out sooner than I had expected.

P.S - Nice overall change in the plots and glad that you actually made a post and told about them.

Hooked to the FF? - Good Sign! 😆

Room, well even my room is as messy as if it has survived a tornado.! 🤣 So don't really take it seriously! 😉

Kria and Swayam's friendship has fascinated me since the very beginning of the show. 😎

And I really liked how they without each other knowing solved their issues and lightened their hearts! 🤗

The new characters are just there to support, they wouldn't be made the protagonists ever! 😳

And about the changes, these are all I wished would have been in the show!

Anyways.. This one is sort of shorter but sweeter! 😆 Thank you once again Shishir!

🤗

-Nivriti 😃

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Nivriti

@agreatperhaps

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#296

Originally posted by: marauder
Wait a minute! Nilesh gave Simmi a disgusted look 🤣 What an irony!!!

Now without delaying here is my comment.

Chapter 3 : First thing first. Swayam's illness seems a lot serious than what I had expected than in the first update. And now even though I am enjoying the updates a fear is lingering back in my mind that something bad, seriously bad is just round the corner. Even though its a painful part but I still liked the way you are putting in these small shots regarding Swayam's illness in middle. Its really keeping the mystery level up.

Coming to the other part of the update. You know you may have said this FF is based on Swayam's life but to be honest I am enjoying the every little bit of jealous Sharon which you are adding in this FF. Its really fun to read those part. Rest of the gang members have been depicted true to their self and are nicley fleshed out so far. Now coming to the new addition in the name of Gunjan. Its quite an interesting addition. Her character seems quite vital one and was even established nicley. Really liked her. Looking forward to see what part is she gonna play in this FF.

Well aaj kal ke liye itna hi. Ab baki chapter kal padhoonga.

NiMmi - Just alterations. 😉

Well, the illness is pretty serious and has been disclosed also in the Chapter Six, so buck up! 😆

And the gang has it's own essence and I did not want to change them, only I wanted few characters to be changed 🤔 and I thought of my nuanced approach numerous times before typing them, glad you liked them! 😳

And yeah, Gunjan has a vital part in the FF not the main part though! 😉

So.. Now I would be waiting for your tomorrow's [today's] comments and analysis. 🤓 You got me hooked bro! 😆

-Nivriti 😃

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Shishir Darsh

@marauder

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#297

You know D3 has its own share of plus point and so it has its own negative points too. A lot of unfinished track and abrupt begining and ending of tracks, lack of PoV's of each character, various plotholes; but what definitely is the most irksome is lack of parents of these characters. If only their parents angle have been also shown this show would have been on completely diferent plattform. Thats why even though I like D3 and absolutely love SwaRon but still my rational mind would rate it below REMIX, which used to come on Star One.

I had thought I will most probably complete this FF till the chapter which you have last added today only but apparently I was bit busy in eeping over the precap and episode. So couldn't complete it today. Now enough of my rants. Here's the comment.

Chapter 4 : So apparently its time for history lessons in this chapter. I guess it was needed with whole range of characters you have introduced, the whole equation and relation of each other was needed to be explained to fully grasp the situation and prepare ourselves for some more new characters I guess. Judging by the update looks like Swayam's dadi is also gonna be part of this FF? Overall quite a sweet update and kind of provided respite from the fear which is hidden beneath the light and funny words of this FF so far or was it the silence before the storm? It was quite pleasant to read about Swayam and Sakshi's bond and that little episode of Swayam's mom and dad also made a pleasant read.

P.S - By the way Tani is also here? I must say a lot of characters are here. Lets see how you will put them at use. I hope you justify all of them :)

Edited by marauder - 12 years ago

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Shishir Darsh

@marauder

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#298

Coming directly to the comment.

Chapter 5 : You know I have loved SwaRon from the very instant I have started watching D3 and that was some where in october last year. But at the same time I have liked other couples too. Kriya and Rey were the main couple but apart from them Vicky and Neha were also good. And their story line use to make a lot of sense and atleast they use to bring a smile on my face with their antics. But after their confession they have been royally butchered. However, thank God now a days from last week they are somewhat reedemed. And coming to NiMmi. I must say their story have been completely sidelined. They have too much potential to make a different kind of story like their's to work but God knows why CV's never pursued it. And not only them but almost each couple has their own uniqueness. God knows when their story will move forward in show.

Well all this Ram Katha just to say how much glad I am to see this update where all the rest especailly Nimmi get their due with a substantial scene. Really well thought of and even more awesomely penned sequence. Rey and Kriya part was sweet too and as well as amusingly romantic. Nice sweet update again. And now I have full faith you are soon gonna drop some really heavy bomb soon.

P.S - So Cliffhanger!!! I have not seen one in this FF so far so had not expected this coming. But you seriously stopped the chapter at very crucial juncture. Can't wait to read ahead but I think it will happen tomorrow :)

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Shishir Darsh

@marauder

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#299

First of all thanks for the note at the end of chapter because on reading Sharon saying yes to Shivam it felt like someone had crushed my heart with a rock weighings in tons. . Thank God its just a ploy of Sharon to make Swayam jealous. But is there time for this ploy to work or is it too late for it ? 😕

Coming to the update now.

Chapter 6 : I have read many SwaRon OS, SS and FF's. And there have been very few in which Swayam had been so humane as this one. Maybe problem is with us only. We have always expected Swayam to be Mr. Perfect whether the perfect lover, perfect friend or perfect person. But we forget that everyone has his/her own deficiencies and issues. This chapter deals awesomely with that humane or the real side of character of Swayam. Fantastically written chapter which dives into Swayam's psych and look into his fear, insecurities and vulnerabilities. His entire conversation with Gunjan could be termed a bit harsh in one sense but from one point it all made sense.

This story is really getting interesting with characters getting more and more relatable with each update. Can't wait to read the next update which I guess is at the moemt the latest one.

P.S - BTW is Shivam a neagtive character in this FF or just a random one added in it just for the sake of story purpose?

Edited by marauder - 12 years ago

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Snowey

@Snowey

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#300

Originally posted by: marauder
First of all thanks for the note at the end of chapter because on reading Sharon saying yes to Shivam it felt like someone had crushed my heart with a rock weighings in tons. . Thank God its just a ploy of Sharon to make Swayam jealous. But is there time for this ploy to work or is it too late for it ? 😕

Oh poor you Shishir - but i share the same doubt. 😕

Does or Does not - Swayam still have feelings for Sharon.

will quote that dialogue what Sharon said in D3 - feelings and emotions can't be so easily wiped from your heart - right.

BTW when are you updating - Please update soon.