-dreams- maaneet FF THREAD 10 - Page 28

waiting

Originally posted by: muskanp

started typing ..dreams is heading towards its end.. don't kill me..

but thats the destinited end..

offcourse there will be everything u looking for...

hope so😳

so me concentrateing in the dreamy bit

part 66

I am sorry he said & walked out of the room ashamed of even looking at her
she pulled her dress down & felt really odd. She his intentions..weren't wrong unlike her.. she felt odd.. did he hear her moan.. is that why he just left abruptly.

She felt really embarrassed, she wanted to leave immediately. She checked on the little one, just once before leaving .. tears didn't seem to stop from eyes. How could she get so carried away.. she closed her eyes leaning close to the baby & kissed his forehead. He chuckled smiling in sleep. She covered her mouth & ran out of the door. She ran down while trying to wipe her tears.

She walked in to the palace with a fake smile. She didn't want veerji or mama to get worried seeing her teary eyes. Wat would she explain. How will she tell them.. it is for this man...whom she loves madly.. even after knowing he is father of a baby boy. But she loves him.. she feels things she never felt before. She feels alive when he looks at her. Her soul, her heart, her eyes ..everything of her aches to touch him..feel him.. make hers.. claim as hers only hers.

She almost jumped when she heard rano called for her as she walked into the room.
Geet beta sab tayari hogayen?
Geet felt so ashamed ..she didn't even do anything.. she cursed herself. How selfish & desperate she has become. Rano placed a jar of laddos infront of her.
Geet smiled weakly mama yeh kya hain?
Rano ' yeh dry fruit ke laddo hain. They good for feeding mothers.. I mean feeding ladies. issen baby gets enough milk.

Geet hugged her. Her heart wanted to cry out her pains..her feeling for Maan. She didn't know if it was right to feel something like this for him. But she did... she now started to feel more strongly than ever. All she could think about was Maan.. his feel..his touch..his care..his silence..his understanding her.. giving her all the liberties on him & baby garv.

My life has changed in the last few months
It moves on a rhythm of its own free will
It summons me dance on its melodious tunes
Just like Radha danced to Krishna's flute
My mind, body and soul are in sync with each other

They repeatedly beat on one single tune
A tune that brings me closer and closer
Closer to Garv and to Maan
How did they become an essential part of me? Even I do not know

I hardly know them, yet I know them from ages ago
They are a part of me, my mind, body and soul
It is a need, need so deep that it is hard to explain
A need to hold, to feed, to soothe and to protect

A need for me to be with him every second, minute and day
A need for me to never let him out of my sight
A need for him, to be mine and only mine
A need for him to be my son and I his mother.

But, how can I think like this?
Is he really mine? Or am I living in a dream with my eyes closed?
Maan is married and it is his child.
Then how can Garv be mine?

Yet, I crave for Garv and for Maan
How can I perform such a shameful act?
Of dreaming about another man
The shock, the shame, the guilt and the realization tortures me from within
Yet, I feel hopeless because my heart beats only for both of them
And I shamelessly accept the love I have for both of them.
My Garv and My Maan!

She hugged her mom & cried... rano kissed her head.. its ok.. its ok.. sab teehk hojayega.
Geet ' lekin mama
rano wiped her tears..she didn't want her to question herself.. it would only disturb her.. she wanted her to feel every thing was right.. they need u now.. garv really needs u. its ur duty to take care of him.
Somewhere her words just soothed geets confused & baffled soul.

Next day Geet arranged every thing for the naming ceremony. Rano spoke at the gurudvara & fixed the date. Geet reached the flat little late. Baby was already up & crying. Maan didn't know if Geet would come today after his foolish act. He probably wanted to cry with the baby ...its because him.. she was not there.. always its been his mistake that deprived the baby of his mothers love.

He lost all hopes as the clock ticked & ticked ...he hugged the crying baby .. & walked up & down the room. Like a sunshine she walked in calling for the baby.. & who almost jumped into her lap. She hugged him kissed him dearly..mama late gogaya..sorly.. Maan immediately hid his tears & walked out. He didn't say anything.. he didn't want to.. he didn't want to do anything that would again create distances between baby & mama. Not again..he just left. He went out.. remained out the whole day fearing himself.. fearing his act ..fearing his uncontrollable emotions infront of her.

Geet felt it better that way since she was ashamed to face him herself as well. Couple of days passed .. Geet spend the day with baby at home alone. Maan would come only just before she left. Geet began to feel the distancing. His absence began to hurt her. She couldn't feel happy ..or smile.. the only time her eyes twinkled or lit up when she saw him in the night..before leaving.. even in the mornings he would leave before her arrival. She missed seeing him..talking to him.. the whole day with baby was fun & masti but there was a feeling of emptiness in her heart. part of her remained lonely through the day longing.. aching..cring.

She thought the attraction she left for him would die.. with time & distance.. but alas it only deepened further. Making it even impossible for her to breath. She wanted to be with him as much as she wanted to be with the baby. She cried nights alone..aching to see him .. wanting to talk to him..tell him she loves him madly. ..but now telling all this would only push him away.. she sat at the window.. cuddled up holding her legs.. watching the moon...that lit the darkness.. that somewhere only reminded him.. walking with him..holding his hand..like a fadded memory... she cried.. struggling to hide her emotions.

Anotherday.. without him.. she hated herself.. how could she stoop so low.. she thought it was her emtions he was running away from .. least did she know how he spend the whole day shouting & yelling at the office people over the phone & mails.. how he spend the day without seeing her.. without knowing how she was.. his heart cried equally to be with her.

Before leaving.. her eyes desperately waited for that little moment to see his face.. that would be looking down..not daring to meet her gaze.
She walked pass him to the door...her heart cried..wo..
his heart felt miserable hearing her voice so low.. in pain.. he wanted to take her in his arms just them.. & ask her wat bothered her.. then the fear..it would probably..hurt her further.. he clinched his fist in anger hurting himself.. blaming himself for her pain..
wo kal
her eyes filled.. she didn't know wat right she had '
naming ceremony
all she managed to say.
He nodded silently.

She ran out holding her tears not able to bear his silence.

my new FF

-Dhundlae aks-