Revenge of Brothers Grimm [Ch 14 pg61] Aug 22 - Page 3

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-Sookie- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: one_ashi

God I can't believe I'm so late in reading this! Brilliant Idea, I love how you've taken the typical quintessential damsel in distress cindrella and given it a cynic twist! Though I do like Fairy tales the one thing I've always hated is how they show the female protagonist to be so weak, dependent and meek infront of everyone else!!

The riddhima here just reminds me of... well me I guess! Not exactly the family situation but in ways of personality! And I have to mention this, whether it was an intentional pun on your part or not I was rolling with laughter with the simple 'The Good People' and 'The Bad People' It just reminded me of my 4yr old cousin saying it ever so seriously that I still can't stop grinning!
I think you've grasped the bitter comedy touch very well and as ever I'm really looking forward to this! Can't wait long please update soon!!



Hi! Yep, you have summarized it correctly. Its cynical cinderella all the way.
By the way, every pun is intended and every cliche is planned.
If you have anything of this sort with you, feel free to comment on those.
About good and bad: Have you noticed how in fairytale bad people generally are extremely ugly? Even in our hindi movies of pre 90s era, most villains had an ugly mole on their right cheek or nursed a bottle of alcohol in every shot. In real life, we expect to see that bias but unfortunately the good and the bad never really exist and the entire humanity falls under only bloody grey area.

I hope I can keep up whatever is the expectation!
Thanks a tonne for the comment

S (I watched Gossip Girl. Signing as "S" sounds cool, for now)
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Posted: 16 years ago
#22
Hey sookie....
so sorry for the late comment.. was out of state....
it was an amaazing intro dear....
the characters seem really interesting..
nd to take cinderella into your own perspetive seems apealing...
cant wait to read more dear...
do cont. sooon!....
nd thank u very much for the pm!
Luv SAZ!
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Posted: 16 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: SaziArmaan

Hey sookie....

so sorry for the late comment.. was out of state....
it was an amaazing intro dear....
the characters seem really interesting..
nd to take cinderella into your own perspetive seems apealing...
cant wait to read more dear...
do cont. sooon!....
nd thank u very much for the pm!
Luv SAZ!



😊 Thank you very much. Though I wish to make it as humor, it might end up being the same ol' sad and depressing stuff that I write. Yep, posting new chapter in few minutes now!
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Posted: 16 years ago
#24

Revenge of Brothers Grimm - Chapter 1

Character that was not mentioned in intro -

People - The Junta

The commonality of the story; bunch of guys and girls, men and women, ladies and gentlemen young and old, claimed to have witnessed this saga with their own eyes. The group includes everyone except for the hero and the heroine. People have to exist to spread the story and also they have to exist to insert anecdotes or back stories or flash backs when the author loses track of main storyline or is generally at loss.

Chapter 1: Close encounters of the awkward kind - "The Doosri Mulakaat"

Yes, they did meet in the most obvious clichd way; head on collision in the hallway amidst a mess of books and paper. After they exchanged introductions, they just went on their separate ways. People around them were clearly disappointed. Rahul was seen shaking his head and muttering something unintelligible as if he had front row tickets to a rock concert that just got canceled.

Their second meeting however wasn't.

It was a normal day, birds chirping all around, Nikki being mean, Abhi being meaner and Armaan generally ignoring everything around him. Until he saw Riddhima trip and fall that is. It was a boring day and he had nothing else to do. So he decided to teaser her. Just a little bit. Unfortunately he had no idea what he was getting into. People think that he still has no idea whatever the hell is going on between them, but now they seem to get a hang of it. Anyway, back to flashback.

He just laughed. As she was trying to collect the things that were strewn all around her, he gave a carefree laugh. Her eyes narrowed.

"Your assiduous presence makes me want to defenestrate you." She mocked him.

Of course, she rarely got a reply to her caustic remarks. While most people contemplated on running to library and renting a dictionary, people like Abhi growled and grunted and stomped away. Armaan however belonged to the third category.

"Aahh...Dah-ling, in this somnolent stenotopic congregation and churrigueresque hallways I am merely enjoying your phlegmatic behavior."

Everything around them stilled for few minutes. Rahul was furiously scribbling in his notebook. He had a feverish look on his face when he was jotting down the words.

Riddhima had her mouth open, jaw close to hitting the ground. Armaan was mocking her in her own game for which she never really had an opponent.

She had finally met her match.

Before she could retort, her eldest step sister graced the said congregation with her presence. People say that if you look at her real close, you can actually see the horns. Tiny red ones.

"Armaan, what you are you doing with this thing?" It was said in a completely nasal voice, which raised a several octaves when she ended her words. She wasn't exactly expecting an answer as she was just cutting short the mulakaat that had just happened. Riddhima might be out of Armaan's league, but she was after all a girl. Riddhima rolled her eyes. She wasn't allowed to speak in her sister's presence. It was kind of a rule of the self proclaimed college diva.

Armaan completely ignored Nikki which aggravated even more. Riddhima was glaring at him. He idly mused why?

"I know I am handsome Riddhima, if you stare this much, I might start charging; might as well make some money when being gawked at." He spoke to her not look at her but dusting off invisible lint on his jacket. She wanted to gag.

"Armaan, though you insist on trying to convince yourself and the morons around you that every female in this college is infatuated with you, I suggest you a trip back to reality and shrink your ego. I. Don't. Like. You. Get that through that thick skull of yours."

He stared at her for few minutes. She had a small smile on her face clearly smelling a mini-verbal victory that was on its way. He frowned and he looked thoughtful. Before she could turn that smile to a smug grin, he replied.

"Its absolutely uncanny. I could have sworn that you were a girl. But you are not? Wow...I guess...I was completely wrong about you. Sorry dude!" He could keep the charade of a confused man only for a few moments. He burst out laughing and at the same time bell rang marking the end of their free period.

"This isn't over", she snarled at him.

Before he could reply Nikki chose to answer.

"Or what brat?" She asked Riddhima menacingly.

"Woah...retract your claws lady", Muskaan replied standing next to Riddhima now.

As students all around them started shuffling around to go to their respective classes, Nikki dragged Armaan by the arm towards their classroom. Riddhima didn't have a heart to tell her that she was going in the wrong direction.

"Oh well," she thought, "a little exercise is not going to hurt her."

Confrontation with Nikki was never really a good idea. It always had its repercussions and Nikki got her retribution real quick. And being Nikki, her retributions were brutal too. Actually, this where you need to understand what brutality is. Brutality is relative to a person. The last time Nikki was angry, she made Riddhima shop with her the entire day when she clearly knew that Riddhima had tickets to a rock concert. The retributions that the family bestowed upon her was never really mean jobs nor did they starve her or make her slave for her bread or they treated her like scum.

They just killed her hope.

The worst possible punishment is lack of freedom and much worse than that is killing a person's dreams and hope. And they just did that to her.

Every single freaking day.

Riddhima knew what was going to come next. Nikki was an airhead in some aspects but she certainly wasn't an idiot. She was going to make sure that the next time Riddhima had to go out with her friends, which was during coming weekend, she would make a plan that involved her family and Riddhima usually ended up listening to what her step mom would say. She never really had the heart to defy her.

Riddhima liked spending her free time at Muskaan's house or spending time in local museums; anywhere but her house.

She shook her head and made her way to her class noting that Rahul was now following her. It was a little creepy the way he would stand in the sidelines and watched her and Armaan rant and rave about petty things.

Armaan that day had surprised her. He had not only understood her insult but also returned one back to her. Besides the fact that he had ridiculed her, his words were rather impressive and it was a quick comeback.

She had found a worthy foe.


The fun was about to begin.

~S (Told you I have been watching Gossip Girl)

(To be continued. Soon.)

Edited by Sookie* - 16 years ago
one_ashi thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#25

Originally posted by: Sookie*



Hi! Yep, you have summarized it correctly. Its cynical cinderella all the way.
By the way, every pun is intended and every cliche is planned.
If you have anything of this sort with you, feel free to comment on those.
About good and bad: Have you noticed how in fairytale bad people generally are extremely ugly? Even in our hindi movies of pre 90s era, most villains had an ugly mole on their right cheek or nursed a bottle of alcohol in every shot. In real life, we expect to see that bias but unfortunately the good and the bad never really exist and the entire humanity falls under only bloody grey area.

I hope I can keep up whatever is the expectation!
Thanks a tonne for the comment

S (I watched Gossip Girl. Signing as "S" sounds cool, for now)

Yeh I know I've noticed that too, everyones black or white in fiction and what people tend to forget is that it is done like that in fiction to strongly represent both sides and it's not neccessarily how people are in real life! People make bad and good decisions throughout their lives, some make bigger ones than others but that doesn't mean they have a corrupted personality!
Unfortunately life is confusing like that, it's never straight forward and most people hoping and praying that everything honestly smacks us in the face are the people to fall hard on their faces.
Anyways waiting eagerly for the update, just saw the message and was lucky enough to stay online!
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Posted: 16 years ago
#26
Ok well sorry for the 2nd message in a row, I must seem like an obsessesive freak but oh well, the miseries of misconception or truth!
Just finished readding and must say brilliant vocab! I actually had to look up the word 'churrigueresque' and seen as I'm an english student and intend to do that in university it's a little shameful but hey I'll get there! I loved the spat between the two though somewhere I would've loved to see Riddhima win the 1st pat of words but I guess you had to break Armaan's possible airhead mould and give Riddhima a hint of her way of stereotypised categorisation of people around her.
Interesting how you haven't shown Riddhima's family as 'evil evil' but actually suffocatingly annoying, something that a lot of teens and young adults might deduce their family as anyways, and what Nikita does is what some normal siblings do to take revenge anyways, actually in admittance I once did exactly that to take revenge from my older sister though I did feel guilty later, but she never forgets to remind me of my evil ways either so it's kinda even.
I'm beginning to think whether Riddhima's family are really that evil or is it that she sees it that way because she has the knowledge that she's the step daughter...
Absolutely loved it, again you made my brain think which it really needs, honestly its getting very mundane these days since most friends are either working, busy with family reunions or on holidays so I have hardly anyone to argue, debate or run around like an idiot with!
Do continue soon!
Edited by one_ashi - 16 years ago
aanchal_c thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#27
absolutely loved it,plz continue soon.
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Posted: 16 years ago
#28
Great part!!!
Thanks for the PM..
Continue soon!!
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Posted: 16 years ago
#29

Originally posted by: one_ashi

Ok well sorry for the 2nd message in a row, I must seem like an obsessesive freak but oh well, the miseries of misconception or truth!

Not at all 😊

Just finished readding and must say brilliant vocab! I actually had to look up the word 'churrigueresque' and seen as I'm an english student and intend to do that in university it's a little shameful but hey I'll get there! I loved the spat between the two though somewhere I would've loved to see Riddhima win the 1st pat of words but I guess you had to break Armaan's possible airhead mould and give Riddhima a hint of her way of stereotypised categorisation of people around her.

Yeah, vocab is pretty decent, but did you check the grammar? Its awful in some places. I am going to give this lame excuse (Even I don't believe it, but hey!) "It was late in the night when I had to whip this chapter up and an exhaustive day punched holes when sentences were formed in my head" Cool enough?


Interesting how you haven't shown Riddhima's family as 'evil evil' but actually suffocatingly annoying, something that a lot of teens and young adults might deduce their family as anyways, and what Nikita does is what some normal siblings do to take revenge anyways, actually in admittance I once did exactly that to take revenge from my older sister though I did feel guilty later, but she never forgets to remind me of my evil ways either so it's kinda even.

Evil, does not exist. Its just what people do when they don't choose to be "good". Yes, for young adults at a certain point of time their safe haven may make them claustrophobic but in case of Riddhima, the situations are purposely created to make her feel that way. I guess in reality most of the times its just a difference in opinion which ends up in this way but in case of Riddhima, its definitely intentional.
I'm beginning to think whether Riddhima's family are really that evil or is it that she sees it that way because she has the knowledge that she's the step daughter...

Good point. I don't know that, as of now. If I delve into this, it will be an essay. Maybe I should write a sober version in parallel.
Absolutely loved it, again you made my brain think which it really needs, honestly its getting very mundane these days since most friends are either working, busy with family reunions or on holidays so I have hardly anyone to argue, debate or run around like an idiot with!

Am glad you liked it! As you see, I enjoy lengthy comments and answering them too (only of late, to be honest. I have finally realized that work will always be there and there is no point in shoving back other things that matter to me)
Do continue soon!
I will!

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Posted: 16 years ago
#30

Originally posted by: aanchal_c

absolutely loved it,plz continue soon.



Hello Aanchal,

Thanks. I will. Soon. :-)

Sookie

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