AWTBL-Someday!Chp12(A). pg75. Jan28. - Page 6

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Illuminatus. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: Jaz_

Eagerly waiting on Chapter 1. How about a weekend treat? Please update soon.


Oh! Weekend Update!!😲
I am on the treadmill plz dnt make me fall...
close to 2000words + editing...
🤔
ILoveRagNa thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#52
😒 Had read this in morning, but due to my newbie limitations, I couldn't comment earlier. But beautiful start.. though sad one.. I am looking forward to read this story. It is sad to know such scenarios and issues do exist today.. in soo many places, where illiteracy and poverty rules.. awareness is 0..!!!
Waiting.. Do update soon.
rani214 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#53
Awesome beginning
Makes m sad reading abt kalpi's pain...n loved kalpi's spirit
Eagerly w8ng for first chap

Kiaraah thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#54
Hey Mini! Here I'm as promised with the comments. ...
Got to tell you again... I love your title- ' a wish to be loved- Someday! ' ... it's all about hope ...

Awesome start with a fabulous prologue! Kamala is really a mom... how cruel! Why is she so rude to her own daughter? Is there any story behind it or its just that the life she leads and circumstances forced her to be mean? I wonder...


Kalpi is a sweetheart... having happiness in small things ... she doesn't mind that she's wearing Pakhi 's old clothes or she leaves to school with no breakfast ... she thinks she's lucky to get a guava for lunch... such sweet thoughts even in her difficult times...


Pakhi seems good here, she's sweet enough to give her old clothes to Kalpi and sit with her to study... and so is her mom... Prem is another story altogether but I like the fact that Kalpi thinks she will be strong enough to deal with him, once she grows up...


Raghav , our dashing hero makes an entry... He doesn't sound like a rich spoilt brat... He respects people for who they are... not by their social status... Him giving the pen and chocolate to Kalpi was so sweet... he could see how important is education to her. ...


Amazing start! Fabulous way to join the writers club... 👏

Don't forget to pm me for further updates...

See ya. ... 😃


PadduBarunHolic thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#55
nice prolouge
continue soon...i always hated kamala.😡
But my poor kalpi has to face so many things at the smalll age 😭
Illuminatus. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#56
Update will be up next week Monday/Tuesday. Pucca 😊
I am working on it. and then I will be regularly posting this story.
Frozenfantasy thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#57

Originally posted by: _Mini_

Update will be up next week Monday/Tuesday. Pucca 😊

I am working on it. and then I will be regularly posting this story.


Pucca...na...
We will wait dear...
If not...I will sing a phati...sur...waali ...song...😆

My courtesy for you...😆
Illuminatus. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#58

Hi Friends,

I have made slight changes in the names of the characters- Kalpana is a Yadhav and they live in Dehradun. Her father's name is Nirmal Yadhav. her Mother's name is Kamla. Brother's name is Keshav Yadhav.

Please give this story a few more chapters to establish the characters. I have few more introductions and descriptions to establish before we embark on this journey together headon!! Thanx so much for being with me and being so patient.

I will try to update as much as possible. But for me Quality of writing is very important and I would like to give you the story in the best of my ability. So, please forgive me if there are delays.

LOVE


CHAPTER 1

Kalpana Yadhav was sitting in front of the earthen brazier and making fulkas for the family. Her mother took her brother Keshav to the next room for it was past his bedtime and the naughty kid although was six years old usually made a big fuss at the day's end.

This was a regular occurring in the Yadhav household for the last six months. Thus, most of the days the kitchen chores fell on Kalpi's tiny shoulders. Though she was just thirteen years old still she was an expert at making potato curry, dal and roti in one sitting. Till two years ago they had a gas connection at home but since the prices of cooking gas had gone up, they have started cooking on the angithi (earthen brazier).

Every evening as soon as Kalpana got back from school she would change out of the school uniform and run to collect the cow dung to make small cakes by hand and put them to dry in the sun. And, these were used as fuel to cook the food next day. She did not mind it since cow is a holy creature of God and the food that they eat is the purest of the hay and grass that her father collected for the cows from the nearby grasslands or from their own backyard. Every week her father went into the Singania property to assist their gardener and also collect wood for the fireplace and grass as fodder for the cows.

"Baba should I serve you the hot fulkas that I have just made? I will prepare fresh ones when amma comes out."

"Yes, my Rajkumari, serve your baba the delicious food that you have prepared. Each time you serve me with your hands I am reminded of my lucky stars and good fortune to have a beautiful daughter like you."

Nirmal Yadhav really loved his daughter and considered her his life's precious treasure. Every time he looked at her he wondered about Kalpana's maturity which was beyond her tender age. She had just turned 13 years old and other than smile and a blessings he had been able to give nothing for her. But she never complained, coz that is all Kalpana wanted. She had said that to him herself. "Baba, all I ever want in life is your and amma's love and blessings."

And that is where the whole issue probably was. Kalpana's soft voice broke Nirmal's reverie and made him look at his innocent daughter with such stoic tenacity.

"Baba, you always preach that we should always be nice to other, but what should I do about Prem?

"Why what has happened?"

"Baba, he is not a nice person." She does not want her father to worry too much but still she was not about to help herself. Today he had pulled her plaits so hard when she was passing through the school corridors. And, she had yelped in pain once of the passing teachers had seen her and punished her to stand under the school clock as punishment during lunch recess. In a way it had been a good thing because today she had not taken anything for lunch and her friends would not have to feel sorry for her. She always felt little embarrassed in front of her friends because she never took parathas and pulao for tiffin to school. But then they never had parathas and pulao at home either. She did not mind, because she had already decided thats she did not like fried and oily food. She rather have the fresh fruits in her garden than stuff prepared in slimy butter and oil.

"Rajkumari, Kanha says that however much someone troubles, one should not hold a grudge against anyone. We should always try to be happy and positive. umm... the potato curry is really good. You have become an amazing cook, my child. Just like your mother."

The father tries to pacify his young daughter and her uptight mother in one go.

"Again she is complaining? Everyday I come home to hear her complain about something or the other. Someday its about the weather being too hot, somedays its about the garden, sometimes its about her brother she needs to complain. And you think she is like me? Now she is complaining about Prem baba? How can you entertain such kind of immature behavior from her?"

"Kamla it is nothing. She is a child. And, Prem you know is a bit rowdy. And, he is 2-3 years older to her. Why don't you remember just last week how he scared the newborn calf with all the unnecessary crackers bursting. Don't be so harsh on Kalpi."

"Who am I to be harsh or mean to her, when you are there to cater to all her unnecessary demands. But remember they are our neighbors and they are extremely rich people. We should always be cordial and polite with them. Why Paakhi is his sister and she is so nice to you. Once again this year she gave you such a pretty dress on your birthday. Such a pretty color and a salwar Kameez no less."

"But mama, he picks on me. and yes, I am grateful to Paakhi as always she is a good friend but thats an old dress you are talking about." Her father shoot her a warning glance and she quickly adds, "Sorry, I am not complaining, I love that dress amma."

"You better be grateful and again stop complaining. They have thousands of acres of land all over Dehradun and I would rather we keep good relations with our neighbors because of whom we are still able to live in our ancestral homes. before you were born we also had everything but soon after your birth we started loosing our good fortunes." She sighs in dejection.

Kalpi had heard about her being unlucky so many times she preferred to ignore it as always, "But amma he teases us a lot all the time. Ask Pallavi, she will tell you."

"Nonsense Kalpi, I will not hear a single complaints from you about the kapoors or the Singhanias. They are the best people one can have as neighbors and friends. They have been so gracious to us in spite of our misfortunes. So learn some humility and be polite with everyone. Now go and finish your homework. I am sure you have not finished your school assignments. Then you will say that you never get the time to study."

Kalpi was always little scared of her mother's fury. Since her brother's birth she had become particularly harsh towards kalpi. But, Kamla was her mother and she loved her amma a lot. She always tried to do things to make her amma happy. Thats why she had taken upon herself to cook the evening meals and learned to make good fulkas.

She picked up her books and sat down to finish her school assignment. She picked up the pen that Raghavbaba had given her almost 2 years back. She liked to imagine it was her good luck charm. She always kept the pen close to her safe in her pencil box.

And today she wanted to write a small prayer to her Kanha. So, she took out the pen and at the back of the 2 year old diary that she used as a journal she wrote.


Dear Kanha, I wish to be loved. Just little bit. Please. Kalpana.


ps- ignore the typos they just refuse to leave!! 😊

Please do LIKE and LOVE.

Leave me a comment for sure to tell me how you like the update. And what are your expectations from the story.


If you want pm for the updates please send me a buddy request.

Thank You

Edited by _Mini_ - 10 years ago
Skyfalls thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#59
Yayyy
Skyfalls thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#60
Mimi how r u sweetie ?

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