A landmine deftly avoided by the CVs..kudos to them!! - Page 3

Originally posted by: an_chau

Rekha!!!! I'm so glad that there r writers and thinkers of your caliber on this forum. Maybe the depth and clarity of your words here will get the message - that many of us have been trying to say, but in vain it seems - effectively across.
We charge Shravan with misogyny but do not realize that the moment we say his words "caused" the assault on Sumo or that he tarnished her image, we are actually filling out the same thought bubble that tags a woman's virginity as her virtue, something that only her husband has rights to, and other such BS!

It's also very sad to see people still wanting to know the reasons/circumstances that "led" Adi to assault Sumo. Does it matter? Can anything ever justify his action? Some say Shravan's words were the "trigger"... Triggered? Can Sexual assault be triggered? What's next? Blaming Sumo for leading Adi on so that he couldn't control himself? The more we discuss triggers, and what made him do it, we actually add our weight to the group that lets perpetrators get away with their crime.

Originally posted by: sanfan

No doubt...that should have been done. More than Shravan, others also needed to reach out to her, as she is the victim. Only Nirmala did.. My daughter commented sarcastically..."Oh so now the focus is who has eaten and who has not" 😕 which is why I always maintain that Hindi TV serials should not take up such serious themes...they can't handle it sensitively. They have taken up misogyny...lets see where that goes...😲

U know, the plotline here is so thin, that at every stage they are forced to keep certain obvious reactions at bay only becos if that were to come to the fore...the CVs don't know how to stem the avalanche...for instance...when Shravan visited Tiwari Killa and Nirmala was also present, u had all the people worrying over the face-off but I thot the reaction of Sumo should have differentiated as there is baggage she clearly knows more than the rest...yet the director only chose to give Sumo the same expression as the others...huge directorial failure there like yesterday I suppose...

Originally posted by: chicksoup

Even I am glad they left it out..and saved it for another day...So much drama was enough for one day..😉

HAHA...well our reasons will never match even if the aim will😆😆

Yes it would have undermined the effect of the physical/ 'sexual' assault...I wouldn't call it the latter still, because Aditya did not feel he had breached her privacy here...He was ready to give his explanation for his behaviour when Nirmala slapped him and he left because she asked him to..He could have stood there and started explaining the rest of Haan Maa.. Lekin Shrav...That would have been a catastrophe for sure. Again emphasising on how it didn't occur as more than a physical assault/ evidence gathering for him until Suman and Nirmala pointed out otherwise..'

Look, Chick...I don't agree here with you here...semantics will not get us anywhere... If u are saying if he did not feel he had breached her privacy here...he needs a hard knock on his cracked pot...really needs urgent clinical help and I would be flabbergasted with the "Leave" having a guy like that on the loose... If the CVs intend to play it anyother way from here...its not going to go down well. If u are saying he has psycho issues..well I suspect the same...but that does not mean that based on what has been shown to us..we should not consider the obvious possibility that he is perverted.

The intention of that outburst is at the core of the issue, and admittedly it is a bit vague to me. I am not exactly clear at the moment whether it was only vindictiveness to show Adi who claimed to have a special place in Sumo's life. Unfortunately, the monologue on the next day gave an impression that given his deep-set misogyny, he was looking at it as if it was a victory of sorts that he managed to put a seed of doubt in Adi's mind. By making that conversation very explicit, and premeditated, CVs have made Shravan road to salvation very difficult

I think at that point in time, as you rightly said, Suman was nowhere in his sight...It was vindictiveness to the boy his mother cared for more than him...the very same boy who would mock at him as a failure when it came to him being a son and a lover...Misogyny seemed to be nowhere in place...In fact, Shravan seemed to be at war with the whole world!

Nice that the two things that matter to him most were part of the fbs after the incident- One was about how his Sumo had suffered...and the other about the disgrace Nanu was put through...Both thanks to Aditya, for sure😉...Suddenly his focus has shifted back to Nanu and Suman...Though he tries to classify what he feels for Suman too, as for Naanu's sake...

But he did turn around and say, apna khayal rekhna...That was all his shocked mind could come up with...

To be frank, Shravan looked more shaken than Suman at this point...and the memory of what he had told about their relationship had not even pricked him yet...

I call this Raw Shravan..Take away all his thinking capabilities..make him go numb...and even put in that hatred that doesn't seem to go away...He will still look back and say- Apna Khayal rekhna...Something that will touch Suman...

True that!!

Originally posted by: chicksoup

Even I am glad they left it out..and saved it for another day...So much drama was enough for one day..😉

Yes it would have undermined the effect of the physical/ 'sexual' assault...I wouldn't call it the latter still, because Aditya did not feel he had breached her privacy here...He was ready to give his explanation for his behaviour when Nirmala slapped him and he left because she asked him to..He could have stood there and started explaining the rest of Haan Maa.. Lekin Shrav...That would have been a catastrophe for sure. Again emphasising on how it didn't occur as more than a physical assault/ evidence gathering for him until Suman and Nirmala pointed out otherwise..'

The intention of that outburst is at the core of the issue, and admittedly it is a bit vague to me. I am not exactly clear at the moment whether it was only vindictiveness to show Adi who claimed to have a special place in Sumo's life. Unfortunately, the monologue on the next day gave an impression that given his deep-set misogyny, he was looking at it as if it was a victory of sorts that he managed to put a seed of doubt in Adi's mind. By making that conversation very explicit, and premeditated, CVs have made Shravan road to salvation very difficult

I think at that point in time, as you rightly said, Suman was nowhere in his sight...It was vindictiveness to the boy his mother cared for more than him...the very same boy who would mock at him as a failure when it came to him being a son and a lover...Misogyny seemed to be nowhere in place...In fact, Shravan seemed to be at war with the whole world!

Nice that the two things that matter to him most were part of the fbs after the incident- One was about how his Sumo had suffered...and the other about the disgrace Nanu was put through...Both thanks to Aditya, for sure😉...Suddenly his focus has shifted back to Nanu and Suman...Though he tries to classify what he feels for Suman too, as for Naanu's sake...

But he did turn around and say, apna khayal rekhna...That was all his shocked mind could come up with...

To be frank, Shravan looked more shaken than Suman at this point...and the memory of what he had told about their relationship had not even pricked him yet...

I call this Raw Shravan..Take away all his thinking capabilities..make him go numb...and even put in that hatred that doesn't seem to go away...He will still look back and say- Apna Khayal rekhna...Something that will touch Suman...

Originally posted by: sanfan

No doubt...that should have been done. More than Shravan, others also needed to reach out to her, as she is the victim. Only Nirmala did.. My daughter commented sarcastically..."Oh so now the focus is who has eaten and who has not" 😕 which is why I always maintain that Hindi TV serials should not take up such serious themes...they can't handle it sensitively. They have taken up misogyny...lets see where that goes...😲

U know, the plotline here is so thin, that at every stage they are forced to keep certain obvious reactions at bay only becos if that were to come to the fore...the CVs don't know how to stem the avalanche...for instance...when Shravan visited Tiwari Killa and Nirmala was also present, u had all the people worrying over the face-off but I thot the reaction of Sumo should have differentiated as there is baggage she clearly knows more than the rest...yet the director only chose to give Sumo the same expression as the others...huge directorial failure there like yesterday I suppose...

Originally posted by: sanfan

I do love the way you write! So concise and clear, and a pleasure to read. I haven't watched the episode yet.

I watched yesterday's episode with some amount of trepidation...Not so much becos of the Wednesday episode but becos of the Thurs monologue of Shravan. I felt that the CVs had scored a self-goal with that monologue...and wondered how are they going to get out of this one?

I watched Friday episode much later when it airs in the place I live...Before watching it, I wrote a message to Indrani saying all I hope from the episode is that the Cvs do not show Shravan having any immediate recollection of the Adi-Shravan convo. For me, it was the most important thing in how I perceive the serial...

I was happy that the landmine has been deftly handled by the CVs. Kudos to them!! Altho I am miffed with the monologue of Thursday...😡

Any recollection of the Adi_Shrav convo at this delicate juncture would have completely undermined the essence of what Adi's actions were and butchered Shravan beyond recognition. (if thats not already happened!!😆😆) Yesterday was purely a day to counter the assault on a woman. An action of this kind that Adi sought to perpetrate is a stand alone act. It deserves condemnation on its own. It needs no reflection on why it occurred, just the fact that it happened is enuf reason to be condemned strongly. Its is important to remember that there is no causative relationship to be sought here. In linking the two aspects in ANY form, we become guilty of playing into the hands of that part of society that seeks to find causative relationship to assault (of any kind) with situations, events, circumstances...and sometimes mere words. Even in the context of the make-believe world, these portrayals if wrongly, done only ensure the perpetuation of such wrong beliefs.

I agree that what Aditya did yesterday has to be viewed as a stand-alone, incident, and we have to isolate it from the conversation of the previous night between the two men. Sexual violence (verbal or otherwise) is deplorable by all measures. Society is another beast altogether. Each society has deeply ingrained in its core, values, biases, prejudices and it would take a huge tide to shift opinion. However, sometimes (or a lot of the times), it is the context of the make belief world that works (hard) to cement these preposterous opinions. The content shown on Indian TV is indeed horrid.

I do agree that a woman should have the choice of a physically intimate relationship before marriage. It is her body to do what she chooses. I am of the opinion that no one has the right to stand in judgement of anyone else, especially in matters of chastity. Its nobody's business. This is a private matter and as you rightly put it (so beautifully), it should be her choice to reveal it. Other than the fact what he purported to be is the exact opposite of what he is, (there is purity in their friendship, which was lacking in the relationship he described to Aditya), his lie was a breech of trust which is the essence of their friendship. However, her rights as a woman aside, and her rights as a person aside, the raw fact is that we live in a society that bears ugly warts on its soul. While we don't have to embrace the values and thoughts of this society, while we don't have to propagate or espouse it views, we cannot ignore it in its entirety by giving it the opportunity to talk about these issues. That's just unnecessary. However, despite knowing the strange ways in which our society works, he allowed her to be judged, to be treated as fodder for malicious gossip.

Shravan's misdemeanour on Thursday inexcusable - it was premeditated and malicious. The monologue that followed was odd at best, because his behaviour was impulsive. It was clearly well thought out - he must have known the impact it could have on Suman - in EVERY WAY, but most importantly, emotionally. He knew what he set out to do. Make no mistake of that. He can feel guilty about it later, but it was not inadvertent error in judgement.

Therefore, I am very glad that did not happen yesterday.

If i am not clear above about the reasons on why I did not want that FB of the Adi_Shravan convo yesterday, let me say that more clearly. If Shravan was shown recollecting the conversation yesterday,especially yesterday, it would somewhere mean that Shravan thinks that he brought on the situation facing Sumo. It would give credence to the view that Shravan believes that he had contributed to "tarnishing" an "image" of Sumo and somewhere Adi's actions would go scot-free. If anyone thinks that Shravan is in any responsible for what happened yesterday, it means that in some perverse way, they are encouraging a set of beliefs in which society blames victims of sexual assault and normalises male sexual violence, a odd set of beliefs that encourage male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. We all have to stop viewing personhood from the male perspective. Once we accept that there is no reputation or image to tarnish based on these notions, we will automatically stop reacting with such outrage...of duniya kya kahegi and the like.

We do have a blame culture, when something happens we automatically look for someone or something to blame - its a knee jerk reaction - rather than looking at the root cause. Aditya is the man he is. He chose to act irrationally upon a piece of information he received. He is man created by these very societal values we have denounced. And ONLY he is responsible for what he did. If the ill-fated conversation had not transpired between the two, and if the marriage had happened as planned, Aditya (because of the man he is) may have (successfully) forced himself on Sumo at some point (being unable to accept rejection). That is just how he is.

But Shravan carries a burden of guilt on his shoulders too, independent of Aditya. He pressed the accelerator of the car that may have otherwise cruised through a slower speed (but would have reached its destination anyway)

Admittedly a huge transgression occurred that day.Through the nature of the conversation and delivery, the CVs have arguably dug a hole for themselves. What is it that Shravan will reflect upon is key to the journey ahead, from my point of view. I told Indrani the other day that on Wednesday, Sumo was not in his periphery of vision when he had that outburst but the Thursday episode gave a googly. I think the CVs could not decide whether to keep Sumo out or in his thoughts in that monologue so they scored a self -goal by making Shravan reflect on Sumo's married life😡 making this a case for hero macho behaviour, as an afterthought.

I wrote about this on Wednesday that I felt, Shravan out of spite, spoke a huge lie and without the consent of the person involved, thereby breaching the privacy of the person he alluded to. The intention of that outburst is at the core of the issue, and admittedly it is a bit vague to me. I am not exactly clear at the moment whether it was only vindictiveness to show Adi who claimed to have a special place in Sumo's life. Unfortunately, the monologue on the next day gave an impression that given his deep-set misogyny, he was looking at it as if it was a victory of sorts that he managed to put a seed of doubt in Adi's mind. By making that conversation very explicit, and premeditated, CVs have made Shravan road to salvation very difficult 😉.

So effectively. the CVs have avoided one landmine, waiting to see how they handle the next...😉 Namik's tweets have indicated the aspect of vindictiveness and the aspect of the lie that is paramount in the matter as also Sumo's reaction 😉 (the key here!!)

So Hopefully, the CVs can make this worthwhile...

Ofc Shravan will go over that FB...many times in the coming days perhaps...that will be his private hell...i am only keen to see what triggers it!!😊

Originally posted by: --Amulya--

WOW!!! just WOW!!!

thanx yaar for placing a new perspective... now I'm able to view the situation in a lot more different view

and I love your writing style

Originally posted by: sanfan

Poppy,

I just hope my praise is not a case of famous last words...and all that I praised them for comes to haunt me...

I am not dreading the culture vulture brigade assault in the form of mami and chachi and sundry...that may happen...how Shravan and Sumo handle is most important...

I hope they have that many episodes necessary to handle it...😆