8/02 - Sid-Riddz-Shanky Promo - Honour is suicidal - Page 15

Originally posted by: Pocahontas

Originally posted by: hapinezz13

Hey Nitica,

A very insightful post and I like the way you have also reflected on the societal angle.

I agree that where a our thoughts about women are concerned we are still in the stone age.
Even if the women has a booming career, people, actually lets put it frankly, other women always say that so what if she is doing well, she still doesn't know how to cook, her mom-in law complains and so forth. I wish that We WOMEN should change first. Honey I absolutely agree with this part. Women's mindset needs to be worked on foremost. The men can wait. If we, women, don't respect our own kind, then how can we expect others to give us respect? Valid point!!! 👍🏼

Lets stop looking at ourselves through others eyes, whosoever they are, Mothers, Father, brothers, sisters and friends. Lets realise that our self worth is in our own eyes and hands. We as women have to give credit to other women and support each other.

I like the part where you brought out that if a boy and a girl are seen talking, rumors spread like wild fire. My question is who spreads these rumors? who does such a disservice to another woman's character? Sadly the answer is mostly other women!!

We are brought up many a times with such thoughts that you need to sacrifice when you get married.....why I ask? Isn't compromise enough? and sacrifice what? How much ? what for? In that part a woman many a times loses herself and when that happens, bitterness easily creeps in. Now this is another point I also stated. Women are always expected to sacrifice. Men never compromise, so why women? Don't we have the right to live our lives as we wish to? Why are married women expected to sacrifice? Why does a woman's world turn upside-down the moment she gets married? Men are never asked to change. It is we, women. And it is partly our fault, I agree. We have allowed the men to oppress us since time immemorial. Just because women never tried to force their beliefs on men, men simply assumed that they had the right to rule over and command women.

I am sorry if I sound like I am blaming women.....I am not....I am simply wanting to change myself, as a woman....to understand another woman's pain...and be her strength and be her best friend so If I ever need support , it comes from within or from another women who understand what it feels like to undergo such things.

You know, the best example I read lately, Ruchika Gehrotra's friend, who after so many years still refuses to give up fighting for justice her friend. That is women power, i think we have it in us.....just need to get it out and help each other. Yes, you have put forward a very good example. She's fighting for her friend, and we are all hoping that she wins in her battle. Women just deserve a chance to prove themselves. Unfortunately, this male-dominated society is hell-bent on keeping them under their feet forever. They want to tie us up in heavy chains and clip the wings they themselves have given us.The saddest example lies in our so-called "sanskriti" itself- "Patni ki jagah pati ki charnon mein hai"...what more an example do we need?

Sorry if I hurt somebody or went off tangent.

Originally posted by: Khushboo_AN

Ok Nitz and all the girls who've read and commented...I know this is kinda off-topic but...

I was thinking about all that we've come up with in relation to this topic and I think...just think...

That this needs to be published somewhere...with the best comments and the real-life experiences. It's a sensitive topic, and I wonder about the kind of furore it will cause in the real world...it's just an idea...tell me if you girls agree with me.

We've been talking about how men have oppressed us for such a long time, but shouldn't we know what the men think about it?

Originally posted by: Pocahontas

<br><br><font color="#ff0066" size="3">Hey Sri! <br><br>Always a pleasure to hear from you , darls. 😳 You are bang on. We cannot ignore society because we are a part of it and that is why we have to take the bad with the good. Nothing much is going to change for women and their character certificates in near future - but women do speak up and fight back - and the ones who do help other women find their voices too. <br><br>"Something different from me?" In short , tum mujhe naalayak bula rahi ho? Aao tumhaari dhulaai karoon! 😆</font><br>

Originally posted by: Ditto100

Hey Nitica 😊

I always find your posts evocative and interesting and this has been no exception......Thanks a lot! I am glad you liked what i wrote and replied as well.

To a certain extent, I do agree with what you have written; society undoubtedly determines so many aspects of our lives, and how people (especially women) are treated and how we as a community respond to it and thereby sanction it.


True. I think over the ages we have become conditioned to sanction the rules and conditions of society simple because they have been handed down from generation to generation.

It is understandable that a father, or any family member, would want to protect those they care about - it is frustrating that this again isgoverned by a group of people who refuse to acknowledge that times have changed and that too, for the better.

The so-called keepers of honour and discipline in society. Apna munh dhoya nahiin jaata , but yes , they will make rules for society which can later be twisted to oppress not only women , but men as well later on.

Your description of Dr Shashank as an "archetypal conditioned father" is apt. Even if he believes, trusts and loves his daughter his actions will always be observed by society (the so-called "societal glare" thanks to Heer) and so he is forced to act in such a way that it is deemed "acceptable".

Bingo! Shashank trusts his daughter but he knows the world will not leave her in peace. I understand his position.

You have portrayed these actions as covering the girl with the metaphorical shawl. A question for you; would you still feel that society determined this if a woman had asked for Sid to marry Riddhima? Or perhaps you may feel that this person (regardless of whether they are male/ female) is also a mere puppet in the hands of society and would act for the benefit of the group and not in the interests of the girl?

Dittzie, i did not get your question. Can you rephrase it? 😊

As some have mentioned, I agree that society has developed and progressed in many ways. I acknowledge that we are society and therefore whatever happens is a direct result of our opinions and perspectives. I would disagree with the idea that things are staying the same / never change; in fact, I think now more than ever, we are changing at an incredible rate. Take Bollywood, for example.

The actresses are role models for countless young people - and they are a shining example of the future; we see educated, well-presented young women who are atypical to the constraints and conventions of society. Yet they still embrace our traditional values, thereby showing that with progression change is not lost; it is not a case of either/ or. In interviews, many have expressed their perspective on topics such as marriage, relationships, family, traditions and even the concept of society and conforming to it.

I completely agree with you. And this wave needs to spread and percolate through the opaque slabs of oppression and archaic ill treatment of women.

The irony is that somewhere in the films and entertainment all of this is lost and once more the voice of society (not reason) can be heard.

The fact that such a plot is in DMG once again raises the question of whether the issue is one of life imitating art or vice versa?

An interesting post, Nitica 😃

I am sorry if I went off on a tangent - your post was so thought provoking! 😆

P.S I read all comments and just wanted to say that this 👏 ⭐️ 😃 🤗 is for all the women out there

Originally posted by: hapinezz13

Hey Nitica,

A very insightful post and I like the way you have also reflected on the societal angle.

Thank you! 🤗

I agree that where a our thoughts about women are concerned we are still in the stone age.
Even if the women has a booming career, people, actually lets put it frankly, other women always say that so what if she is doing well, she still doesn't know how to cook, her mom-in law complains and so forth. I wish that We WOMEN should change first.

A very valid point. Nobody cares if a man doesn't know how to cook, but all hell breaks loose if a woman is a bad cook. It doesn't matter if you are a gold medalist in university , people only want to discuss how bad your cooking and cleaning skills are. ..... if you talk about equality , then , give equality of life , not just right , puhlease!

Lets stop looking at ourselves through others eyes, whosoever they are, Mothers, Father, brothers, sisters and friends. Lets realise that our self worth is in our own eyes and hands. We as women have to give credit to other women and support each other.👏👏👏
👏
I like the part where you brought out that if a boy and a girl are seen talking, rumors spread like wild fire. My question is who spreads these rumors? who does such a disservice to another woman's character? Sadly the answer is mostly other women!!

Absolutely ! And these women who turn out be a post graduate in gossiping are the victis of hammering of ' community wisdom' which teaches you to talk more about a woman's character than her individuality. Their mindset never evolves beyond the zygote stage. 😡


We are brought up many a times with such thoughts that you need to sacrifice when you get married.....why I ask? Isn't compromise enough? and sacrifice what? How much ? what for? In that part a woman many a times loses herself and when that happens, bitterness easily creeps in.


True. If we are marrying a man, we are marrying him for companionship , mutual affection , respect , understanding and a lifetime of togetherness. Not to make sacrifices and compromises. Women need to look forward to getting married , not making lists of what they are going to sacrifice when they get married. Men have a big role to play in this and the mindset is slowly changing in the male gender as well - in certain sections of the society.

I am sorry if I sound like I am blaming women.....I am not....I am simply wanting to change myself, as a woman....to understand another woman's pain...and be her strength and be her best friend so If I ever need support , it comes from within or from another women who understand what it feels like to undergo such things.

You know, the best example I read lately, Ruchika Gehrotra's friend, who after so many years still refuses to give up fighting for justice her friend. That is women power, i think we have it in us.....just need to get it out and help each other.👏👏👏
👏
Sorry if I hurt somebody or went off tangent.

Originally posted by: Meenzyrox

I actually write for an online Muslim girl magazine 😊 I write a fictional novel, one chpater each month. It's an AMAZING magazine. Mainly about Muslim women, but other women issues as well.

If you all agree, I can surely talk to the chief editor of the magazine and get this published. What say? 😃

It's not a famous magazine YET, it started in July 2009, but it's getting popular a lot. It's read by a lot of people. So again if you all want... 😳

Originally posted by: sri_4

oh my god i just saw this..😆
no dear,,,u r the best always :) !!!!
actually its been a long time u wrote something like this .... thats what i meant to by "different"..nthng else.. ..by the way what ever u write is different n worth reading!!! :)

and i am ready for the dhulayi too 😆

i think khusboo n meenas idea is good..may be we shud give a try!!!may be we can create some awareness!!!great idea guys!! 👏 👏

nitz again a great post :) n cheers to u..

sri:-)