Originally posted by: Khushboo_AN
Poco I've been very busy preparing for my upcoming exams and I just came online for some relaxation, and I came across your post. It's 2:30 in the night (don't get worried, I stay awake till 4 😲...I'm a total night owl!) and I read every single reply and finally came here to share my own views...
I agree with every single word you've said, and Arzoo, wow girl you have to go through such a lot everyday! I salute girls like you 👏....I don't know whether i would have survived there....
And also the others who faced tough situations, and fought them hard...👏 👏 👏
Khushboo!😳.... You write so well. Where the freaks have you been hiding all this while? You write and express so well, baby. Attagirl!👏.... being nocturnal is bad , though. I suffer from hypertension and it has a lot do with my sleeping habits. Do sleep properly.
Aarzoo is a ROCKSTAR and so is every woman because it takes a lot to be a woman and survive this world , this life.
Forget spending a night together, even love marriages are looked down upon...this stone-age society we live in adamantly refuses to accept the fact that women are humans with feelings too...they've the right to live with freedom. And the strangest thing is that when it comes to love, which is looked upon as a heinous crime, women are blamed. Society never points fingers at the men, but supposedly the women's honour is destroyed and that's why she is allowed to marry him.
Tell me that. Love marriages are SUCH A TABOO in certain sections of the society. How dare you choose your man? Hum log marr gaye the kya ladka dhoondhne ke liye? Naak katwa dogi hamaari.... blah , blah and some more blah. 😡
When I hear the aunties and uncles gossiping about how the girl had a boyfriend before her marriage, I want to give them a piece of my mind...this kind of mindset strikes me as cheap and intolerable. It's sad that we have to live in a society that his hell-bent on suffocating women and making them follow the rules set by the so-called guardians of society...
This is what i call GARBAGE MENTALITY of petty minds. This gossip virus shows that education cannot change much unless there is no internal evolution. Damn these uncles and aunties. 😡
I fail to understand the reason behing honour killings and female foeticide, which, however much we might try to cover up with colourful curtains, exist in society. Why are women deprived of their fundamental rights, of their basic rights....like living freely without restrictions and norms. Poco, as you said, "every man is borne of a woman, but why are women not allowed to be born?" The mindset of society needs to be changed, and it has to be done fast. The few of us, who are blessed with the tenacity and capability of scientific thinking and acceptability can bring into effect these changes. We can't wait for stuff to happen, we've to make them happen ourselves.
Absolutely. And people are trying... all over the world but it is going take a whole generation to eradicate this dirt from our society because it is embedded and rooted in our system.
And coming to another point, I see almost all of you here have highlighted on the fact that men hold the reins in society, and they define the norms and make the rules. But have we thought about the numerous women who allow this to happen, who actually support this? I, personally have had the bad fortune to meet women who actually think that females are much less than males. I've heard them say "My goodness, that girl got such a good position in her company....I doubt even a boy could have gone there, and she, being a girl, managed that!" I wonder why a girl's progress, her success is always questioned, and why the society's regular gossipers don't go into overdrive when they hear about a boy getting promoted or being offered a good job. Why, in marriage proposals, it is always more welcome that the boy should earn more than the girl. What does it matter whether the husband earns more than the wife as long as they are compatible with each other and happy? Why does society question all this?
Because of this ANCIENT SOCIETAL WISDOM that has encoded it in our DNA since time immemorial that women are the weaker sex ! We are conditioned to think like that ....but the tide is slowly changing and that is the reason we have liberated lives. I hope it spreads everywhere.
And the biggest question is, who is the society? We, ourselves form this mundane world...it is the views of people like us that have irked us into starting this conversation. How come society has the right to criticise a woman's character? Who has given them the right to do so? I would say, if this trend is stopped, and people start ignoring the views of random strangers who act as "judges" in their own right, then the views of society would lose it's so-called "value", and also the ability to force people into ruining their lives, just for the sake of "honour". This can't be done in a day, but if people at least tried, then it would make a huge difference.
Every society has a habit if creating these honour keepers who set codes of conduct which are nothing but ways to twist rules into oppression and that is exactly what they do. Divide men and women into Us and Them . This gender divide and accompanying differential treatments are the root cause of half the troubles that we face as women. The so-called MORAL LORDS.
Conserving values is one thing, but forcing one's beliefs and opinions on another in the name of tradition and family's honour is plain oppression. And the sad part is, women are always the ones who have to sacrifice. In a marriage, it is always the woman who is expected to sacrifice...not the men. No one even thinks about it. She cannot befriend another man, for it would put her in-law's honour at stake. What honour, is my question. In my opinion, those who don't respect women, they don't respect their mothers as well...and if they don't respect their mothers...who gave birth to them, they never had honour in the first place...so the question of protecting it does not arise...
👏....FANTASTICALLY SAID! Bang on! Honour is private , not some freakin' public certificate.
👏
Coming to te situation in DMG, Shanky's decision is understandable from one perspective, but if it is analysed logically, then it is a very wrong decision. His daughter is well-educated, and can fend for herself. She doesn't need a man's support to protect her dignity or to show people what she's worth. Yes, she's wrong in accusing Sid without considering the facts, but then again, she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself...much to the contrary of the "preachers and decision makers" of society, who mostly are not well-educated. Shanky needs to support her and make her see reason, and find out what actually happened, not make matters worse by planning to potentially ruin her life and Sid's...I agree with you. If at all Sid-Riddz marry , it has to be for the right reasons. But as you and I have already said, Shanky is behaving like a quintessential father - driven by all the trash that the ancient societal wisdom fills in our heads. He is not thinking of anything except cocooning his daughter from zaalim zamaana . Parents are parents.
Women's position in society has been, and still is, extremely miserable...that's where feminism comes in. But if you ask me, I'd say that instead of men fighting for women's cause, I think that gritty and strong women should stand up and fight, and surely they will win. You see, if we let the men fight in behalf for us, we are subconciously letting it known that we can't take care of ourselves. If we stand up and say that we won't take this nonsense, and a few men supporting us, then I think it will have a larger impact, and may be people will sit up and take notice.👏
THAT WILL BE THE DAY!🥳
Society needs to be changed, and even if it is a sluggish process, we have to try our very best to fasten up the process.
I know I made a huge post and might have gotten off poing in many places, but this is what I thought, so I simply let it out. Sorry if I ruffled any feathers...I don't mean to hurt any sentiments.
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