A Trapped Bird - Updated Part 17 + 18 - Page 9

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ammmu thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#81
Oky, great, I can't wait for your next part... do post it today, I'm sorry I keep bugging you šŸ˜›
soni595 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#82
yaar don't be sorry about it! I know how depressing this week's episodes have been! I will post it tonight, but I think that will be tomorrow for you right? šŸ˜• these time zones really confuse me..
Edited by soni595 - 18 years ago
ammmu thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#83
Nahin nahin, it's oky.... and, dun worry about it... I will be able to read it !! 😃

It will make me happy... and tonight, if I have time, I will post my new Fanfic šŸ˜‰
soni595 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#84
you're posting your new fan fic? 😳 can't wait to read it! 😳
I will post it tonight definitely, after I get out from lab! hope you will like it! šŸ˜›
ammmu thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#85
Of course I will like it !! 😃 I still read your FFs to make my happy..... and yap, I'll try and post my new FF soon 😳
*Reemz* thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#86
Im waiting for both of you to write something...just make me smile!!! 😳
ammmu thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#87
I have written mine..... which is wayyy too long..!! šŸ˜• šŸ˜›

Am waiting for Soni Ji, Wafah ji, and you..... I need my SV 😳
soni595 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#88

Part Eight – Two Lonely Hearts
(Kuch tum kaho, kuch hum kahe, khamoshi se..khamoshi tak..baat karne do..)


"Are you okay?" As if life was poured back into her, she flinched when she heard the familiar sound, and relief flooded inside of her….He gently stroked her head and then slowly carried her in his arms, careful not to let her leg hit any tree…with half shut eyes, she peeped into his eyes…care and concern illuminated in his eyes, and for the first time she felt the gentle side of him…He caught her looking at him, and for a moment they both gazed at one another, and she couldn't help but let her heart beat faster, but then he shifted his gaze back up and never looked down at her the entire way….but it was so comfortable in his strong arms...and so warm…(sa re sa re e e...)

She noticed they were coming to a clearing from her side view, but knew this wasn't the palace. He carried her inside a gate, and that is where she saw where he was taking her to…It was this double story mansion, that was fashioned in a V shape in the front, and a beautiful swan shaped fountain stood in the front of the mansion…the sound of the water in the fountain sounded like music so melodious and peaceful...She once again turned back her attention to him, he never once grumbled or sighed whilst carrying her, was she that light? Or was he that kind?

Finally, he took inside of the mansion, and her eyes popped open at the elegant and trendy interior decorations…He then placed her down onto a soft cushiony white sofa…her head felt relaxed, and even though the pain in her ankle hadn't subsided a bit, she felt calm…He went into another room, to get some medicines…whilst she just let her eyes roam around her surroundings…the furniture in the living room was either black, grey or white…from the coffee tables to the curtains everything seemed relatively new…she wondered if he had just moved in…

After a few minutes he came back, her heart just melted seeing the concern reflected clearly in his eyes…He gently rubbed the cotton wool against her ankle…she flinched every time he pressed a little too hard…and he worriedly stammered "I'm soo ..sor..ry, I didn't mean to.." After cleaning her wounds, he applied medicine to it, and then bandaged her ankle…

He then went closer to her, and knelt down on the floor right beside her head and then sat on the edge of it…caressing her soft silky hair…and intently gazing into her eyes…there was this electric current that passed through them…she looked back at him with such passion and innocence, that on impulse he leant in closer, and grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her passionately…

"arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh" the loud scream jolted him out of his fantasies…he mentally chided himself for letting such…such stupid thoughts enter his mind… He realized, he had accidentally hit his arm on her ankle…so he rubbed it ever so gently… "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize.." "it's ok, but where were you lost?" He just shrugged…"So you…want to eat something?" Vidya's eyes now sparkled "You know how to cook?" He stood up and boldly said "of course I can cook" Then he mentally kicked himself, how the hell was he supposed to cook, when he had never ever switched on a stove before..? And his servants were on leave too…what a fool he was going to look in front of her…

To Be Continued…

PS: I was contemplating making Vidya illiterate? What do you guys think? Would this fit into the story?


Keep smiling…
Love
Soni

Edited by soni595 - 18 years ago
sum2005 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#89
nice episode.
yes vidya as illiterate fits the story. this will make sagar realised how kartick used an innocent and illeterate girl to get rid of his kundali dosh. i think it will further help sagar to have soft corner for vidya.
yaar please keep some sences were sagar teaches vidya how to write and read with some romance in it.
😳
Edited by sum2005 - 18 years ago
CherryPrincess thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#90

well, i don't know what would be better whether to have vidya litterate or illeterate. But this english speaking vidya and illiterate!!!!!!!! i m not sure if this sinks well in the story.

Honestly, i have full faith in ur suspense and imagination and hence I know whatever direction u give ur story it would be great. Even though u made a story totally different from BMTD, this is so fresh, vibrant, thrilling, exciting. i dont even have words. Ultimately, i wud suggest now that u sudnt make vidya illiterate just to stay a little bit in track. as i feel ur story is really new and let ur creative mind write whatever it wants to.

btw, i just hate u................. 😔 u know why? i wish that u had written a novel already and i was reading it. coming everyday to BMTD to check ur forum and not seeing new page is frustating. and even though u have posted sth, i get angry as i know that just in next 5 mins it wud b finished 😳

i m amazed why i like ur story so much? 😲 it's not that i haven't read any good stories before 😳 😳 still!!!!!!!!!!!!! i m amazed. i just wish that i had studied in english medium as now neither my gujarati is that good nor english. even though i feel tempted to write like u, i cant as i want enriched story with real emotions and rich words. may be for now let me satisfy myself just by reading....... šŸ‘

Edited by CherryPrincess - 18 years ago

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