Posted:
Another thought-provoking post followed by thought-provoking bunch of reactions : When the most intelligent people on this forum are in a discussion, the reading pleasure, needless to say, is immense. My takeaway from Friday's episode is that
The reason why this discussion is on an intellectual-moral plane is because BV is truly a landmark serial that -- despite tending to go back and forth in its plot line and characterisations -- has pulled off so many brilliant firsts. The BV women may be loaded in jewellery but the presentaionl is faithful to the Rajastani backdrop. Am so happy BV women have not fallen victim to E-Kapoor's "one portrayal fits all" look. In evey EK serial, the women look the same, regardless of whether they are from Bengal, Mahrashtra or Punjab or Rajasthan. .
There is no pan-Indian look in this wonderfully multi-ethnic country, and yet every EK woman will wear the sindoor, the long, dangling mangalsutra, the kada and everything. This has tended to reinforce the stereotype of the married woman tied forever to her relationship, good or bad as it mght be. It is a double, triple bondage for the woman whose secondary place in the marriage is affirmed by every every possible symbol of matrimony while the husband is bound by nothing.
I was so depressed when my UP maid's daughter turned up looking like a EK heroine. There is no mangalsutra in UP. But it has been dinned into women that this ornament has to be worn after marriage. Why destroy the diversity of this country?
BV women thankfully don't wear the mangalsutra. I can't tell you what a relief it is not to see that aesthetically ugly piece of ornament hanging from the necks of BV women. As Suchi pointed out, Sumitra told Anandi not to wear the sindoor while she was married.
Look at other landmark events. Anandi going to her mother's funeral and lighting the pyre. The significance of this is enormous. It does not even happen in the urban areas and here Anandi, matter-of -factly, without theatrics, without it being drilled into our heads by the CVs through defeaning music, pulls it off. What a remarkable achievement. I think somewhere all this is impacting other serials too. And it ought to also impact the many, many rural women who are absorbing the message.
Which is why BV is -- and ought to be -- much more than a serial. Which is why BV CVs should not ever make even the slightest suggestion that the SINGHs can be regressive.Look at the transformation in Dadisa. Anandi remarries not because the hero compels her -- or because she has to save her family from economic ruin - but because the matriarch of her matrimonail family decides she must get a second chance. Bravo. And DS it is who accompanies A to the funeral ground. Bravo again.
Which is why I'm hoping against hope that they don't show DS changing. I have been very disturbed by the unshed tears I saw in her eyes after spotting J. Why DS, why? I'm not convinced by the explanation that J is her grandson and she is feeling emotional for him. Then why did she no betray the slightest emotion for J during the divorce? That was the point of no return, wasn't it? J cut such a lonely figure as he walked off without a word to his family. Why did she stop A from talking to him then? Why did DS not feel the urge to give him one last hug? Why did the CVs not show any conflict in the minds of DS and Sumi at that equally significant time?
And why did DS address J as JAGDISH SINGH when he came to Bilaria? All outward indications then were that J had come to pay his last respects to Bhago. DS was not aware of the BIbhut mission. Why did she not feel any emotion seeing him beaten to pulp by Khajan?
I'm feeling uncomfortable abt DS's current behaviour. Forget the TRPs, forget the drama effect, forget the fact that Ansh are ultimately meant to be together, what does this suggest? I ferverntly hope that -- as Suchi says -- DS is simply going to help J redeem himself. I hope that she will not gradually start regretting her decision to remarry A. I hope she won't exert silent pressure on A to reconsider. Because here we are dealing with a matriarch who has been shown to be progressive beyond anyone's imagination or expectation. It important for the sake of the masses of women taking away their lessons from BV that DS remains progressive to the end. She should not even be in a conflict over J and A. Because no matter what happens in the end, her character will have been spoilt.
My takeaway from Fri's episode is that A has finally come to terms with Shiv. She already sees the sagai as a fulfilment of her mother's last wish. She said as much to herself. She also saw how evolved and progressive Shiv's family are. Shiv's speech on fizul kharcha was necessary for A to realise that she is in ideological alignment with shiv. All this has helped her resolve the conflict in her mind abt the marriage. The decision is on way to becoming as much hers as her mother"s. From her side, therefore, she is fully committed to the relationship,
As for JaGo,it will be unfair in the extreme if the woman is shown to suffer while Ja is rehabiliated by his family, G.alone is made to pay for her sins. The logic is appalling. Did J not lie to Gauri about being single? Isnt that a worse crime than G hiding the fact her education was paid for by the Singhs? Did J not lie to Bade Papa? Forget A, even in the JaGo relationship, J is more guilty than G. Therefore my second prayer, please do not build up sympathy for J. Don't show him so tearful that women start thinking it is okay to take back an ex-husband if he shed some tears.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
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