Posted:
Here is the story of a school friend of mine--I mentioned it earlier too..but would like to bring the details, of her suffering and struggle...Real names changed, but her story is very real--I have heard it directly from her and from her phone calls, emails...etc...
Rashmi came from a semi rural background, brought up in a conservative small town. She had never heard of words like divorce, extra marital in real life...for her marriage was forever, and no one cheated in marriages. In a typical arranged marriage setting, she got engaged with Sachin, who was at a good position in a company in US. Rashmi adored him, loved him...worshipped him in her heart...nothing meant more than being with Sachin to her...from the day she got engaged to him.
however Rashmi, on the first day of their marriage found a girl's pictures in Sachin's laptop. things looked very fishy, when she came to US. She came on a dependent visa..and was reduced to cooking, cleaning, and looking after Sachin and his home...while the homely, Indian wife didn't appeal to him so much. Rashmi and Sachin, though had consummated their marriage...but still she felt all the time that Sachin's heart still didn't lie with her...He would verbally /emotionally abuse her...neglect her...find faults with her personality, her chores...and put her down all the time he was with her...he never spoke to her without insulting her. Out of the home...he would chat/call...and stay busy with another woman named Kavita, whom he loved. Also, Rashmi had no access to finances and Sachin transferred all the dowry money in his parents name.
One day Rashmi got to know that Sachin had an affair with a woman named Kavita. Rashmi had loved Sachin a lot, and she cried bitterly and couldn't believe her luck. She was shocked and she felt she would die. She lost her mental balance for a while...she had left everything...and didn't know what to do now. after a month of pain and suffering she told everything to her in laws and parents. However the in laws lightly scolded Sachin just for a while and then were ok with him...while her parents told her to wait for sometime, before taking any action. However, in a few days...in laws forgot their son's misdeeds, and their focus moved back on her doing the duties of a wife properly. While her parents went in a fix...divorce was not a solution for them...according to them, the right way was fixing the marriage showing the "right" path to the boy...by love/anger/..anything but not by separating.
One/two years passed by, Rashmi's mental health started deteriorating...regular taunts and verbal/ emotional abuse...living with a husband who didn't love her...and having reduced to a housemaid took a toll on her, and she started behaving abnormally. Her husband, though would emotionally abandon her, wouldn't leave her socially---because leaving the wife was not a part of their culture...and he didn't want the social and community brickbats. He went on with abuse and adultery.
She had no money, and her dependent visa didn't allow her to work, her in laws were becoming nastier and worse towards her...and her father's health was deteriorating too...as he was diagnosed with a complete kidney failure. She became more and more miserable, while her husband continued with his girl friend...
Now, Rashmi could take no more...she wanted either freedom from this hell kind of relation...or death. But she could get neither...so she decided to do whatever it takes. the docile woman...took the first bold step...she took up a job illegally (her visa didn't legally allow her to work)...she somehow hid her legal status and started working. She made her job the focus of her life, and moved to a work visa, and from there she got a legal status for working in US. Slowly she started getting more responsibilities at work...from facing clients to hiring and firing of workers. Working outside and this position of power,in a small company though, dramatically changed her personality and attitude. Now she stopped caring about those who didn't care about her. Within a year...she adapted to the American culture------ in terms of dressing, speaking in American accent, dealing with people. As her pain started getting numb, she also started ignoring the existence of her husband and in-laws. She stopped giving a damn to whether Sachin loved another woman or not...She was waiting only for more economic empowerment...to dump her adulterous husband someday...she became neutral and numb to most emotions...and marriage had lost its meaning to her...
Sachin was taken over by her transformation. She was more beautiful than his girfriend and her newly acquired confidence won him over. He left his girlfriend and started pursuing his smarter, more modernized wife crazily...But Rashmi had more plans for herself...she left her job, and from the money she saved from her job, she pursued higher studies in US because she wanted to fulfill her ambitions now, US education is expensive, but now she has the money and assertiveness to do what she wants...so that no one ever can get the power to control or dominate her life again.
Rashmi's life has changed...now 3-4 years have passed since her marriage. She is no longer the sweet, Indian house wife...but a solid, ultra modern and determined woman, expert in getting her work done, and gives a damn to feelings, her ambitions are her life, marriage doesn't mean so much to her anymore. Her father has undergone a kidney transplant, and is doing well. And her in laws, knowing that she will not lie down to any demands or expectations...have accepted her the way she is------and they don't mess with her much... sometimes day talk behind her back...and when she gets to know about it...she still stays cool and doesn't care and does only what she wants to do!!
Her husband Sachin is a changed man too.He has fallen deeply, madly in love with her...and has started valuing marriage with her. He sometimes wants Rashmi to be that same sweet and docile wife again, who gives into all wishes of her husband...but that Rashmi doesn't exist anymore...This Rashmi has been hardened by circumstances...and nothing can change, or hurt her now. He dotes and adores her...pampers her...buys her gifts...listens to her...admires her and cares for her.
But Rashmi still feels ..only if in their culture it was easy to walk out of a wrong/loveless marriage, her heart would not have hardened this way...she would not have to go through emotional abuse-and trauma whose scars she would never forget. She remembers her semi rural roots...but cannot relate to them at all. She feels moving on and moving forward are the only imprtant things in life...nothing else matters as much as these do.
Rashmi came from a semi rural background, brought up in a conservative small town. She had never heard of words like divorce, extra marital in real life...for her marriage was forever, and no one cheated in marriages. In a typical arranged marriage setting, she got engaged with Sachin, who was at a good position in a company in US. Rashmi adored him, loved him...worshipped him in her heart...nothing meant more than being with Sachin to her...from the day she got engaged to him.
however Rashmi, on the first day of their marriage found a girl's pictures in Sachin's laptop. things looked very fishy, when she came to US. She came on a dependent visa..and was reduced to cooking, cleaning, and looking after Sachin and his home...while the homely, Indian wife didn't appeal to him so much. Rashmi and Sachin, though had consummated their marriage...but still she felt all the time that Sachin's heart still didn't lie with her...He would verbally /emotionally abuse her...neglect her...find faults with her personality, her chores...and put her down all the time he was with her...he never spoke to her without insulting her. Out of the home...he would chat/call...and stay busy with another woman named Kavita, whom he loved. Also, Rashmi had no access to finances and Sachin transferred all the dowry money in his parents name.
One day Rashmi got to know that Sachin had an affair with a woman named Kavita. Rashmi had loved Sachin a lot, and she cried bitterly and couldn't believe her luck. She was shocked and she felt she would die. She lost her mental balance for a while...she had left everything...and didn't know what to do now. after a month of pain and suffering she told everything to her in laws and parents. However the in laws lightly scolded Sachin just for a while and then were ok with him...while her parents told her to wait for sometime, before taking any action. However, in a few days...in laws forgot their son's misdeeds, and their focus moved back on her doing the duties of a wife properly. While her parents went in a fix...divorce was not a solution for them...according to them, the right way was fixing the marriage showing the "right" path to the boy...by love/anger/..anything but not by separating.
One/two years passed by, Rashmi's mental health started deteriorating...regular taunts and verbal/ emotional abuse...living with a husband who didn't love her...and having reduced to a housemaid took a toll on her, and she started behaving abnormally. Her husband, though would emotionally abandon her, wouldn't leave her socially---because leaving the wife was not a part of their culture...and he didn't want the social and community brickbats. He went on with abuse and adultery.
She had no money, and her dependent visa didn't allow her to work, her in laws were becoming nastier and worse towards her...and her father's health was deteriorating too...as he was diagnosed with a complete kidney failure. She became more and more miserable, while her husband continued with his girl friend...
Now, Rashmi could take no more...she wanted either freedom from this hell kind of relation...or death. But she could get neither...so she decided to do whatever it takes. the docile woman...took the first bold step...she took up a job illegally (her visa didn't legally allow her to work)...she somehow hid her legal status and started working. She made her job the focus of her life, and moved to a work visa, and from there she got a legal status for working in US. Slowly she started getting more responsibilities at work...from facing clients to hiring and firing of workers. Working outside and this position of power,in a small company though, dramatically changed her personality and attitude. Now she stopped caring about those who didn't care about her. Within a year...she adapted to the American culture------ in terms of dressing, speaking in American accent, dealing with people. As her pain started getting numb, she also started ignoring the existence of her husband and in-laws. She stopped giving a damn to whether Sachin loved another woman or not...She was waiting only for more economic empowerment...to dump her adulterous husband someday...she became neutral and numb to most emotions...and marriage had lost its meaning to her...
Sachin was taken over by her transformation. She was more beautiful than his girfriend and her newly acquired confidence won him over. He left his girlfriend and started pursuing his smarter, more modernized wife crazily...But Rashmi had more plans for herself...she left her job, and from the money she saved from her job, she pursued higher studies in US because she wanted to fulfill her ambitions now, US education is expensive, but now she has the money and assertiveness to do what she wants...so that no one ever can get the power to control or dominate her life again.
Rashmi's life has changed...now 3-4 years have passed since her marriage. She is no longer the sweet, Indian house wife...but a solid, ultra modern and determined woman, expert in getting her work done, and gives a damn to feelings, her ambitions are her life, marriage doesn't mean so much to her anymore. Her father has undergone a kidney transplant, and is doing well. And her in laws, knowing that she will not lie down to any demands or expectations...have accepted her the way she is------and they don't mess with her much... sometimes day talk behind her back...and when she gets to know about it...she still stays cool and doesn't care and does only what she wants to do!!
Her husband Sachin is a changed man too.He has fallen deeply, madly in love with her...and has started valuing marriage with her. He sometimes wants Rashmi to be that same sweet and docile wife again, who gives into all wishes of her husband...but that Rashmi doesn't exist anymore...This Rashmi has been hardened by circumstances...and nothing can change, or hurt her now. He dotes and adores her...pampers her...buys her gifts...listens to her...admires her and cares for her.
But Rashmi still feels ..only if in their culture it was easy to walk out of a wrong/loveless marriage, her heart would not have hardened this way...she would not have to go through emotional abuse-and trauma whose scars she would never forget. She remembers her semi rural roots...but cannot relate to them at all. She feels moving on and moving forward are the only imprtant things in life...nothing else matters as much as these do.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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