Should G be concerned with J's treatment of A ? - Page 8

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Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#71
ALl I have to say is that you guyz should look at it from the child marriage perspective and from the pov of a battered down woman.

Do not compare Anandi's situation with Gehna , saying why didn't she revolt back or recognize that there is something wrong with her husband.
And many other points about Why Why Why .. she didn't etc. etc. etc.


Point being Anandi represents those thousands of women , even educated, who simple Close their eyes towards reality, living in their dream land, thinking, refusing to believe that their husband could actually cheat on them.

Giving them excuses after excuses.

Anandi's trust on Jagya has NOTHING to do with her being from village. Aren't there so many people even here, working educated women, in US who trust their husbands , not suspecting them even for a moment but all the same , their husbands are cheating on them , lying , and having extra marital relationships/?


Its very very very common.


So I say, that slimy worms like Jagya exist everywhere and its NOT Anandi's fault for trusting him.

But Anandi being Anandi , also accepted that she has been punished for taking her life so blindly. So I think I will here Not accept Anandi being blamed for something she is NOT to be blamed for.

Galti koi aur karay aur bhuktay koi aur?
wah


And as I mentioned earlier , that I am GLAD Anandi did not tell those losers about their legality. I am glad because now , because of her NOT telling, what ever the reasons might be who cares, they are in BIG MESS.



Gauri is almost going to be exposed as his keep and Jagya's true colors will show when he will hesitate asking Anandi for divorce.

It will NOT be his decision.

=====

I do not appreciate Victim Bashing. Its like telling the girl who got raped, why did you park the car in the parking lot in the first place.

Its not her fault and this society needs to open its eyes and start punishing slimy worms like Jagya. and Gauri will have to face the consequences for her decision in choosing to live with Jagat and being so insensitive towards the girl who did not wish her any harm.



Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#72
Very very very well said Annika. I appreciate post. Your post is fair.. talking about the real problem.

And not just blaming Anandi for closing her eyes. its not about blaming its about understanding the mind frame of such people and actually accepting that Yes it does happen and it happens cause of Such such and such as you very well pointed.

👍🏼
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#73
Thanks Suchi!

I agree with you. We shouldn't kid ourselves thinking everything happens in villages only or with uneducated people!

In general, we are all lenient and accommodating towards people we're attached to!

Even modern women have tendency of giving their whole selves and their lives to the men they love.

Doting, pampering parents are there everywhere. And patriarchy is still very much around!

A son, especially if he's the eldest one, only one or sole heir of family is always loved, and protected no matter what. He's spoilt and pampered to the hilt. And not just parents, even society tends to ignore or cover up mistakes of the male species saying men will be men!🤢

Like I gave the example of that woman who kept waiting for 6 years. Even after 6 years, it was not she who initiated the divorce, rather her husband did it. And it took her another 6 years after divorce to rebuild her life from a scratch. She might have rebuilt her life, but there's still a section that blames her for not being able to make her marriage work, or greets her with pity for being successful at work but not in love life!

Marriage is still supposed to be the be all and end all of a girl's life. She's expected to give her 100% to that relation! Even if it is boy's fault, it is the girl only who the society blames! They either find faults in her character (she was too modern or she was too docile) or they label her as plain unlucky or cursed! That happens in cities and with educated families too! Remember how in Kyunki...Savita kept trying to break Mihir-Tulsi's marriage so that Payal could come in family, as she was a better bahu - modern and educated, better suited to their status?!

Famous gender expert Kamla Bhasin has rightly said that patriarchy exists due to participation of women also! Culture and society expect women to behave like Anandis - be loving, caring and always giving chances to husband and keeping up the hope that marriage will work. At the same time, there are women like DS who derive benefits from patriarchy, on account of being mothers of sons and grandmothers of grandsons. They feed patriarchy and also enjoy higher status on account of being in position to control and influence men (as sons or lovers).
A Gauri is also someone who first suffered due to patriarchy but now ended up using it to her benefit. Notice her argument - ki aap apne bete ke saath aise kaise kar sakte hain?!

She thought they would have to accept her since she was now their son's choice or that they couldn't part with the son, so they would have to accept what he does.

She easily thought Anandi gayi tel lene, she should pack her bags and move on and understand that her husband now dreams of someone else!

Slimeballs like Basant and Jagya exist because there are women like DS who pamper them to hilt and cover up their mistakes and buy them new wives if old wife ''needs to be'' replaced, there are Gehnas who ultimately give in and put up with husband for the sake of family or kids, there are Anandis who bear all insult in name of following their dharam and standing by their pati parmeshwar no matter what, there are Gauris who forget about their own maltreatment and blindly get led by a boy in name of love, thinking other woman would have to be thrown out since no family can part with their son for a DIL, there are Bhagos who give training in docility and art of being a doormat to their daughters and bear everything in saasra so that they can justify parents' sanskaars, there are women like Gauri's mom who get callous enough to tell daughter not to bother about any other woman and concentrate on making her own place in family or better still, leave the city - as long as jamai sa's support is with their daughter!

Bhagos get rewarded for giving good sanskaars to girls and get social respect. DSes of the world get to have things their own way and see their sons and grandsons happy and women in control. Gauris get to have fun as long as the boy is loving to them. Anandis' fates hang in balance - they either get a lot of respect for being ideal wives and DILs or get muck in real life, but are promised heaven after death for bearing so much in life. Gehnas get respect for ''learning'' to live with it all. Mums like Gauri's mom remain happy as long as their own girls are happy and have husbands latching on to their daughters' pallus!!

Women's own selfishness, ignorance, their lack of unity and lack of empathy for each other and their lust to control/influence men or get ''respect'' from men and male-dominated society make them do EXTREME DISSERVICE to their OWN GENDER!!😡

Ignore boy's mistakes and faults as long as he is good and caring to you. Ignore his faults even if he's no longer caring to you - take it as temporary change of season! Humbug!!!😡

If boy is really bad, take it as bad luck or believe God will punish him someday, and ''move on''!

Is it a joke how DIL can be called daughter and in-laws can become parents?! If Anandi is beti now, should she tie rakhi to Jaggu and make Gauri her bhabhi sa?!!😡🤢

I am deeply pained at how society treats women like puppets! And even more pained to see how women themselves support this puppetry!!😭😡

Men do suffer, but their suffering is way less and way too temporary, compared to that of women!! And this is due to women themselves too!!🤢

hooked thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#74

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

ALl I have to say is that you guyz should look at it from the child marriage perspective and from the pov of a battered down woman.

So I say, that slimy worms like Jagya exist everywhere and its NOT Anandi's fault for trusting him.

====

I do not appreciate Victim Bashing. Its like telling the girl who got raped, why did you park the car in the parking lot in the first place.

Its not her fault and this society needs to open its eyes and start punishing slimy worms like Jagya. and Gauri will have to face the consequences for her decision in choosing to live with Jagat and being so insensitive towards the girl who did not wish her any harm.


Dear Suchi,
I do agree that I have written in a couple of posts that Anandi too did not do certain things right. BUT nowhere will you find me saying J and G were even 0.1% right...In fact I have said that Jagya shud be hauled to court by Anandi, SIMPLY so that other Anandis know that they have a legal right to do so. And gauris of the world shud live with the 'homebreaker' and 'other woman' tag and hang their heads in shame and not be accepted anywhere in society.

BUT keeping quiet and swallowing pain and heartache in silence like Anandi is NOT the message I want this serial to send out.

All I said was Bhairon and Sumitra and Anandi cud have also pre-empted this if they had acted in time. Tinno and Annika have also said so in their posts.

A rape victim shud never be blamed, nor shud a wronged person- however, since this a forum and we all try to reason why what happened and how it cud have been different - one theory is to suggest that in future - sending a young man out in the city to live by himself, after he has had a taste of the marriage bed and not even checking up on him periodically is a SURE SHOT recipe for disaster.

Yes, a girl shud not get ogled or whistled at or fumbled against her wish. The law shud prove to be a very strict deterrent to crimes of this nature - however even at a red traffic light - it is prudent to check the road in both directions before crossing is it not ?
Edited by hooked - 14 years ago
tanvismile thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#75
I hv one question?r we nt making j a willian.was he is havin fun with wife n outside also.after watchg jan,feb episodes i feel j tried his level best to stay away frm g.he is nt matured enough as he himself goin through changes with thinking which couldnt match with a ,as behaviour ,he always fought with a ,that time we lovd to watch it we found it cute now we hate.plus he was goin through presure as it is nt goin to b aceptd.i m nt covering his mistakes bt today a is suffering due to the whole society.the who suffers most child maraiges is women thats the truth they r trying to show
Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#76
Nah hooked, I didn't mean you i just meant the general statements fo the entire posts no one specific yaar. Sorry if you thought i was pointing at you.

I do agree with the points you posted!


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