Thanks Suchi!
I agree with you. We shouldn't kid ourselves thinking everything happens in villages only or with uneducated people!
In general, we are all lenient and accommodating towards people we're attached to!
Even modern women have tendency of giving their whole selves and their lives to the men they love.
Doting, pampering parents are there everywhere. And patriarchy is still very much around!
A son, especially if he's the eldest one, only one or sole heir of family is always loved, and protected no matter what. He's spoilt and pampered to the hilt. And not just parents, even society tends to ignore or cover up mistakes of the male species saying men will be men!🤢
Like I gave the example of that woman who kept waiting for 6 years. Even after 6 years, it was not she who initiated the divorce, rather her husband did it. And it took her another 6 years after divorce to rebuild her life from a scratch. She might have rebuilt her life, but there's still a section that blames her for not being able to make her marriage work, or greets her with pity for being successful at work but not in love life!
Marriage is still supposed to be the be all and end all of a girl's life. She's expected to give her 100% to that relation! Even if it is boy's fault, it is the girl only who the society blames! They either find faults in her character (she was too modern or she was too docile) or they label her as plain unlucky or cursed! That happens in cities and with educated families too! Remember how in Kyunki...Savita kept trying to break Mihir-Tulsi's marriage so that Payal could come in family, as she was a better bahu - modern and educated, better suited to their status?!
Famous gender expert Kamla Bhasin has rightly said that patriarchy exists due to participation of women also! Culture and society expect women to behave like Anandis - be loving, caring and always giving chances to husband and keeping up the hope that marriage will work. At the same time, there are women like DS who derive benefits from patriarchy, on account of being mothers of sons and grandmothers of grandsons. They feed patriarchy and also enjoy higher status on account of being in position to control and influence men (as sons or lovers).
A Gauri is also someone who first suffered due to patriarchy but now ended up using it to her benefit. Notice her argument - ki aap apne bete ke saath aise kaise kar sakte hain?!
She thought they would have to accept her since she was now their son's choice or that they couldn't part with the son, so they would have to accept what he does.
She easily thought Anandi gayi tel lene, she should pack her bags and move on and understand that her husband now dreams of someone else!
Slimeballs like Basant and Jagya exist because there are women like DS who pamper them to hilt and cover up their mistakes and buy them new wives if old wife ''needs to be'' replaced, there are Gehnas who ultimately give in and put up with husband for the sake of family or kids, there are Anandis who bear all insult in name of following their dharam and standing by their pati parmeshwar no matter what, there are Gauris who forget about their own maltreatment and blindly get led by a boy in name of love, thinking other woman would have to be thrown out since no family can part with their son for a DIL, there are Bhagos who give training in docility and art of being a doormat to their daughters and bear everything in saasra so that they can justify parents' sanskaars, there are women like Gauri's mom who get callous enough to tell daughter not to bother about any other woman and concentrate on making her own place in family or better still, leave the city - as long as jamai sa's support is with their daughter!
Bhagos get rewarded for giving good sanskaars to girls and get social respect. DSes of the world get to have things their own way and see their sons and grandsons happy and women in control. Gauris get to have fun as long as the boy is loving to them. Anandis' fates hang in balance - they either get a lot of respect for being ideal wives and DILs or get muck in real life, but are promised heaven after death for bearing so much in life. Gehnas get respect for ''learning'' to live with it all. Mums like Gauri's mom remain happy as long as their own girls are happy and have husbands latching on to their daughters' pallus!!
Women's own selfishness, ignorance, their lack of unity and lack of empathy for each other and their lust to control/influence men or get ''respect'' from men and male-dominated society make them do EXTREME DISSERVICE to their OWN GENDER!!😡
Ignore boy's mistakes and faults as long as he is good and caring to you. Ignore his faults even if he's no longer caring to you - take it as temporary change of season! Humbug!!!😡
If boy is really bad, take it as bad luck or believe God will punish him someday, and ''move on''!
Is it a joke how DIL can be called daughter and in-laws can become parents?! If Anandi is beti now, should she tie rakhi to Jaggu and make Gauri her bhabhi sa?!!😡🤢
I am deeply pained at how society treats women like puppets! And even more pained to see how women themselves support this puppetry!!😭😡
Men do suffer, but their suffering is way less and way too temporary, compared to that of women!! And this is due to women themselves too!!🤢