Should G be concerned with J's treatment of A ?

tinoo thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#1
I have a quick question.
There have been a few posts on the forum about Gauri jumping into marriage with J, even though J has treated Anandi shabbily - and did not care about her rehabilitation or her future.
I want to know why this should concern Gauri (as a genuine question, not because I support her)
I mean, Jagat is nice to her, he takes care of her when she is ill, he did marry her in court, and he has feelings for her. How does it matter if he is nasty to anandi. (from G's POV)
I am also different to different people and present myself differently depending on how I feel about them.
Nobody is uniform to everyone in life. We all have people we are good to and there are others we dont care for.
If I am to base my relationship with someone -- it will be on how he/she treats me -- not how he/she treats a completely different third person.
Jagat has been good to gauri. How does it matter (from her POV) how he is with anandi?

Created

Last reply

Replies

75

Views

6.9k

Users

23

Likes

246

Frequent Posters

intruderfast thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#2

thats a very good qs tinoo and i have raised this point ages ago,

jagya has never been rude to gauri, even at times whenever he has scolded gauri , he has been in line
when jagya was two timing we all used to say jagya has split personality, completely diff to his family mebers and anandi and a new diff side to gauri
gauri has not been exposed to that side of jagya ever
ankit111 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Fascinator 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#3
Anandi was and is part of Jogia life so she want or not it will effect her own life. I don't want tht she sd think abt A but she sd think abt herself. She hd made her own life hell and blaming others. If she sd not think abt others why to expect from others. As I hv watch no one is interfering in her life but she is poking in others life.
tinoo thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#4
The point I am trying to make is that Jagya is the married one - it is HIS job to worry about his marital commitments and all the wedding promises to anandi.
How is it Gauri's job to respect Jagya's marital vows by staying away from Jagya? and why should she worry about A's life and A's maang ka sindoor? How is it her concern?
If J had said "I still love anandi" - then it is fine.
However, if J does not love anandi, then that is ALL G needs to be concerned with.
whether A is still in love with J, what will happen to A's life ... all these things are not G's concern.
Suchi- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#5
Tinoo ur point is valid to some extent but only if you look at it from the Jagya's point of view. Its not only about treatment, its also about respect, trust.

The person whom I love, I want him to be honest with me about everything.

A person who is good to someone on the face but behind their back he is a two timing creep or a serial lier, a cheat, then the person who is in love with this , that someone, i.e. Gauri , has the right to know about everything this guy is right?

If it was as simple as , as long as you treat me well I am fine, then every man in this world will be two timing their wives and most of the time the two timers and cheaters , get away because they treat their partners very well , so well that the partner does not have the slighest inkling about his other life, other woman or women.

Honestly is the basis of every relationship. Its not simple as , you be good to me, that's all I care about and you can do what ever you want behind my back.

Infidelity , cheating is called such because the person involved, hide their dubious life, and feelings.

So for once we should stop looking at it from the POV of jagat/Jagya.. I am glad that CVs have made him have two names to show the obvious duality and cheating life. We should look at it from Gauri's perspective. No girl , no matter how well they are treated would want to be called a mistress or a keep.

Its the worst kind of insult to any woman. Gauri does not deserve this. She has invested her emotions into this relationship. She deserves better but, I am sure there are other POV and I have to say they look at it only from the eyes of Jagya.


serialjunkie thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#6
I agree that A's well being is not G's responsibility. But it is J's responsibility.

G knows her marriage to J is not on legal grounds. As a self respecting woman, she should ask J to first file for divorce from A and then think of living a life with G. G's mistake is to stick with a guy despite knowing that her relationship with him is illegal. G should also realize that she treaded thin ice by marrying a guy who was already married, albeit in childhood. She should have been very very very very very very careful getting into the relationship.

Just as G is not responsible for A's happiness, G should not expect A to be compliant and understand G. If A resists divorce or decides she does not want to divorce J, then G should understand it is not A's responsibility that G got herself into an illegal situation.


642126 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#7
Well I think marriage is a very big decision in anyone's life and we should give weightage to how one's choice of life partner behaves everywhere.

As a woman herself, she should have thought how this man is merely blocking out people from his life when he feels he no longer needs them, whether this man would be the right one to spend her life with?

Even if it was child marriage, at least in the eyes of the family and society A was his wife. Now this man doesn't even tell you about it and you come to know about this baggage of past on your own. This man doesn't bother to tell you about such a big thing, he doesn't mind cheating on you and that wife (lying all these years to G is also cheating only), he doesn't bother to at least formally break older ties before forming new ones (saying I can't live with you on the phone is useless!)..., he's lied even about his name and birthplace! He is ashamed of his own identity itself! It shows weakness of character and utter spinelessness!🤢🤢

Such a man - I think any sensible woman should have doubts and second thoughts about him!

Today he got Gauri an educated girl in city, tomorrow if he goes abroad and finds an even more educated NRI or foreigner girl, will he outgrow Gauri also and ditch her?! I don't know about you guys or Gauri the character, but if I were in such a situation I would have rejected this big time phoney at once! And I would have felt guilty for getting drawn to such a man and not recognising his fishy ways earlier.

Again, as I said in my post in another thread, Gauri is being expected to think of Anandi, primarily because she is from the SAME background and culture!! She knows what child marriage is, how girls' entire lives are governed by this thing in rural areas and how seriously it is taken. So she could have spared a thought or two about Anandi, being from the SAME BACKGROUND!😕

It is very naive of a girl to think that ''he's good with me, so that is all that matters, and everything else can be ignored''. By that logic, a girl can marry even a terrorist, provided he is nice to her and pampers her to the hilt and takes care of her wishes!😕

It is not about Anandi, but as a woman Gauri should have given a serious thought to the way her boyfriend has treated another woman. She should have done it, NOT as a responsibility to Anandi but as a responsibility to HERSELF!
Edited by annika20 - 14 years ago
atria thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#8

Your spouses behaviour with other people is a huge pointer to how he will behave with you after the first blush of romance has ended. Yes we behave differently with different people, but how many people do we actively misbehave with? Is it not important to know the reasons for that? It is quite well known that certain behavior patterns repeat themselves, e.g. a wife beater is always a wife beater. Suppose you were getting married to a divorced guy and found out he used to beat his wife, or that he had once raped some one. Would you worry? Or would you think, well he didn't beat me or rape me, so that's okay then ! Thats the first reason Gauri should be concerned with Jagya's behaviour, because it will come back to bite her in the butt later.


In Jagya's case, he has been exposed as a liar and cheat many times over. He claimed that he was never in love with Anandi, he always thought of her as a friend. Ever since she came to Jetsar, Gauri has had the opposite information thrown at her face. Sumitra, Gehna, Phooli all have informed her in gory detail that Jagya used to romance Anandi with the same reckless abandon with which he pursues her now. How can she conveniently forget all that information?


You are right that Gauri has no legal obligations towards Anandi's future. But firstly she has an obligation to think about the moral consequences of her husband's actions. If your husband cheated someone why would you want to stay on with him, even if he is a good husband to you? Take this one step further in your mind, would you stay with a husband who raped some one? Then why with a cheater either? If you believe certain things are morally wrong (and she passionately talked about the fate of Balika Vadhus in her pre-hysteria days), then they are wrong even when committed by your near and dear ones.


Secondly, there is such a thing as sense of self-preservation. Gauri seems to have lost it completely. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She should think now that just as Jagya's love for Anandi became friendship when he went to the city, so may his love for her change when he goes somewhere else. How can she not worry about this? Well, except of course if she acted sensibly the serial wouldn't proceed quite so dramatically.


Bottom line, morally her actions are indefensible. Jagya has primary responsibility of course, but she cannot escape the secondary responsibility of destroying Anandi's life.

Edited by atria - 14 years ago
atria thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#9
BTW I just realized you were probably asking about her reaction when she got married to Jagya before coming to Jetsar. In that case also, the same applies. You find out that the guy you love has lied to you for years, and is leaving his wife to hastily get married to you, and that sets no alarm bells ringing? Why the shotgun wedding? Why not wait to find out why exactly he left his wife? Why exactly his family hates him? Especially in the case of a spouse, since it is important to be able to respect your husband or wife to live with them. How can you happily marry a wife abandoning, cheating, lying, shifty-eyed slimeball without a thought?
tiny15 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#10
@TM very gud quesns & topic👏👏 & i agree that though G isn't responsible 4 A's life but if she considers her as a human being then defntly shes expected 2 behave like a responsible, educated & sane prsn & not like sum stupid prsn!!
and its also true that if ur partner or frnd is gud 2wards u but not wid oders rather treating them like the slimeball J did then hes defntly'd sum problem wid him!!🤢🤢🤢
Edited by tiny15 - 14 years ago

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".