Originally posted by: mesimi
Dear Friends,
I understand all of us are equally frustrated because things are not moving in the way we want it to. We must understand this issue of older woman- younger man love is something which is not acceptable in the so called traditional conservative society.
The team is just trying to explore this arena and giving us the feel in small doses based on acceptance from each section of society. All of us voicing our opinion are people who are in some way having an identity of our own like working women, youngsters, middle aged women who have definitely had a positive influence by living and mingling with an open minded society be it east,west or even from India.
We are a group who are computer savvy/tech savvy i mean. This may be only a portion of the audience as a whole. There is one section of the society who may believe and appreciate our concern regarding the future of this couple but such people do not share their opinion in a forum like this. There is the major section of the Indian society especially people one generation older, or even our generation groups who still belong to the old school of thoughts.
When a show is being aired keeping in mind the Indian audience, I feel its right if they don't hurry up and show everyone accepting such relationships and them living happily ever after. Such a jolt is not possible so quickly. If people have to start accepting their relationship, they have to come to terms with the fact that she has had enough problems in her life and yes, though Abhi is younger than Simi, they are meant to be together because she deserves happiness and a supporting partner in him.
All of us like to see some intimate moments when you support a couple. But well it might just be that they want to convey the fact that it is not just physical attraction and physical needs that is important to both these characters. If they do show intimate scenes just like they did for Neetu-Vicky ( it purely highlighted the initial physical attraction as Neetu herself puts it...his style, looks which ultimately spelled doom for her) , there is no gravity to convey that their love for each other is not prioritized on physical closeness. If they do, it will highlight their pure love in bad sense that a 30 year old loves a 22 year old based on physical attraction, or that Abhi behaves like how an otherwise 22 year old guy will behave with a girlfriend of his. This is where the maturity level is highlighted. They still do have their cute scenes together. They show him comforting her in the middle of the road when she breaks down crying. It is still a comforting hug between people in love. Whereas, if they had showed them hugging in the late evening kitchen scene, its more of lust. I feel it's quite nice that way. The same two people were shown running around holding hands when they bunked class. The situation was more friendship and platonic though they had feelings for each other. The minute Simi has realized she is in love and is expecting Abhi's proposal during the marriage scene, she is not able to get her hands closer to his while picking the flower petals, or she moves away from him with her eyes dropping down in the kitchen.
Also, Simi's character is not the outspoken bold type of girl. She is already having a low esteem (Thanks to her mother) being judged by her looks and being rejected by many number of men. That is why she is not able to answer back Anita when she says are you still waiting for filmy hero type of guy in your life. At the temple also she is quiet when Anita says you are typical middle class fat woman in your 30. The little strength she gathered to ask why not? Can't he ask for my hand is immediately crushed when Anita reminds her and no one will accept their relationship. For a girl who lacks self confidence, we can't expect anything better. She can't reject Nakul immediately because she will have to explain why? And then the same issues of acceptance. She has taken a bold step in falling in love with younger guy in spite of living in a society which considers this a taboo. It just goes on to prove once again that when love happens, it just happens. One can't plan to fall in love. We need to give her time to overcome her fear of her own people not supporting her choice of Abhi as her life partner.
Well taking him for granted, yes she is. But I feel when there is so much of understanding between each other, there is no necessity for thank you and exchange of pleasantries. She was blossoming in his love, she was happiest with him at the park hoping things would get better and he can seek her hand in marriage. She was hoping for the Saturday lunch/dinner. That's why she tells her dad by next week i will decide about Nakul. But she is already thrown into newer problems from the likes of Anita and Anuj. Probably we can expect an outburst of all the bottled feelings??!!!
Let's hope for the best.
MeSimi, Thanks for your efforts in trying to bring some rationale to the story. Your background information in trying to understand POV of the characters and the writer's intentions was definately a good attempt. I do have some concerns in the arguements presented in light of how the writers presented information in the show.
First, the issue of older woman- younger man love, is a taboo in nearly all societies, but we never saw Simi have a problem with it. As viewers we were told she was 28, then 30 and Abhi was somewhere around 22/23 and then later 24. However, when the age range was finally revealed, as viewers we were taken back. When did they fall in love? That was never expressed. We know Simi wanted him to love her in return (see the Anita-Anuj behind the temple scene). Now, all of sudden she's gone cold about the idea of falling for Abhi. No explanation, no rhyme or reason for the sudden poor treatment of Abhi. If, Abhi is interested in her, then why does he like her for her sacrificial qualities, if these are the very reasons he argued against when she chose to marry RB? Makes no sense.
Second, intimate moments when you support a couple do not have to be physical; one of the most romantic scenes for me in the whole show was the conversation Abhi and Simi had over the phone when she revealed what a Bhenji she was to him. That scene was very real and gave us an insight into Simi's character and could have revealed things that Abhi would start to find attractive in her, but the writers never built on the scene. Big weakness. They really need to build their relationship over several weeks with them socializing and Simi getting confused in her feelings towards Abhi, and Abhi gradually falling for her. When they both confess how they feel; they could talk about that age-gap. This was never discussed expect in a few jokes here and there until the day of that phone call where he tells her in his baby voice "I love you." Going back to physical stuff, there should have been a hug in the kitchen scene, that's how I would have directed it. The one place to me where it was needed, more so from Abhi's part. But that's the least of my concerns.
Third, Simi's low self-esteem doesn't show up with Abhi. If she really likes him, why lead him on? Why give him false hope. If she's stressed, then why are there no scenes where she tells him Abhi, I cannot say no to Nukul, I have no execuse. At the same time, she begs him to take her away, and then he works to get everything done, she puts him on hold, but does nothing about putting Nukul on hold😕. Abhi is offering to do everything, and she gives him nothing. These are the points I am trying to make. She has a tremendous amount of support and a great friend in Abhi, but she has pushed him aside thinking he's a bachcha when it is this bachcha who has done everything for her. There is no romance in watching this at all.
I would love to be optimistic but I am not a gulliable viewer and I do expect to be challenged and not have my intelligence insulted hence the reason I wrote this post. I do have to realise as you say, these shows were never written with myself as an audience in mind, so I do have a some choices, I can continue to watch and say nothing, stop watching and say nothing, or I can watch and speak out - this I have chosen to do. Perhaps, somewhere, there might be a writer from Zeetv who will think, you know, we really need to add more depth in our character development be it for KB or other shows in the future.
Edited by Laila2009 - 15 years ago
Arjun
