The inexplicable pull of Zindagi Gulzar Hai - Page 42

Originally posted by: -Crescendo-

Continiung on the university talk,here's a bit of my experience-

I can relate to Kashaf the best on her views about love.I have always believed and continue to do so that 'love is a waste of time'(to say it precisely).I do not want to marry ever in my life as I can't see myself bound to someone and more so because I do not believe in love.I had this question in mind that why can't one (especially woman) live independently..live life on one's own terms.Those simple dialogues by Kashaf touched me for I could see a mirror to myself.

Boys have rather been very good to me most of the times(have had ego problems with few which is common)and they never dare to propose me because they know the outcome.

Its the girls who dislike or probably loathe me the most.Have always been sidelined in school due to Kashaf like demeanour but in university I do get some respect.

Hi 5 to all those didn't go to college and landed in university directly from school.

Originally posted by: .Hajmola.

A woman always can...but always be prepared for the society to look at you as the odd one out. But once people realize you are not marrying despite their best efforts they let it be.
I have seen many women live independently all their lives...some due to widowhood, some due to divorces and some simply chose not to marry. TBH at 60+ I find no difference between such women and those who have led a married life. The former usually seem happier. 😆The latter are still pareshan with kids if not grandkids.

Originally posted by: -Crescendo-

Ya that is what the main problem is the societal pressure...log kya kahenge etc etc especially in the case of girls.I feel one should not be forced into a marriage.A relative of our's went through the same fate where the girl was not ready to get married but due to aging her mother pressurized her to tie the knot saying 'rishtedaar kya kahenge..log kya kahenge'.And they almost had a narrow escape from getting divorced.Her mother said they weren't happy before her marriage and didn't see a good day after the marriage too.So these could be the outcomes but many parents do not realize that.Their prestige and esteem in the society is more important to them.

😆,must be so and the sad part is many people think after having kids all the problems will be sorted out which is not the case instead additional responsibilities of kids have to be taken up.

Originally posted by: Neerjaa

Now have seen many girls who are financially independent and have good job ,are not ready to get married or should say become independent taking their own decisions . Every guy is not Zaroon . And as for me marriage is not the end or start of life and do not need crutches named man just for the heck of marriage and have seen specially in metros life has become quite tough if both are working .

Originally posted by: -Crescendo-

Ya that is what the main problem is... the societal pressure...log kya kahenge etc etc especially in the case of girls.I feel one should not be forced into a marriage.A relative of our's went through the same fate where the girl was not ready to get married but due to aging her mother pressurized her to tie the knot saying 'rishtedaar kya kahenge..log kya kahenge'.And they almost had a narrow escape from getting divorced.Her mother said they weren't happy before her marriage and didn't see a good day after the marriage too.So these could be the outcomes but many parents do not realize that.Their prestige and esteem in the society is more important to them.

😆,must be so and the sad part is many people think after having kids all the problems will be sorted out which is not the case instead additional responsibilities of kids have to be taken up.

Originally posted by: -Crescendo-

Ya that is what the main problem is... the societal pressure...log kya kahenge etc etc especially in the case of girls.I feel one should not be forced into a marriage.A relative of our's went through the same fate where the girl was not ready to get married but due to aging her mother pressurized her to tie the knot saying 'rishtedaar kya kahenge..log kya kahenge'.And they almost had a narrow escape from getting divorced.Her mother said they weren't happy before her marriage and didn't see a good day after the marriage too.So these could be the outcomes but many parents do not realize that.Their prestige and esteem in the society is more important to them.

😆,must be so and the sad part is many people think after having kids all the problems will be sorted out which is not the case instead additional responsibilities of kids have to be taken up.

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As for kid point , you can always adopt a kid like Sushmita did . And i am not traditional in my thinking ,like lakeer ka fakeer . And thats why had lots of argument with my mother when i call her and its alsways phon patkofy . I have seen people around me and most have the same opinion why i got married . Yes this log kya kahenge is more in small town where everyone,s business is everyone . In metro ,you do not know even your neighbour and who got the time to see what the other person is doing . Yes Indian mindset just stuck at marriage as if its the end of journey .

Specially in upper strata you will find this break ups quite often as women are financially independent . Its now both have to put efforts to make the marriage successful but expected from the girl that she should make the food and all when she is also working . Todays life is more tough .

Originally posted by: khamosshhh

Der r all kinds of scenario, also I guess society does play a part in a person who does not really want to marry, ending up marrying and yes I suppose the pressure is more for the girls.

U know from the social setup I come from, divorce isn't looked down upon. Also I know a few of my mom's friends who hv married kids and grand children and their husbands have passed away a few years back and they hv opted for re-marriage, coz I guess their kids r settled in their lives and they r looking for a companion at dis twilight stage of their lives. But I also have an uncle of mine, whose wife passed away a few years back and he's in his 50s, but is satisfied with his single status. So der's no hard and fast rule for either man or woman.

Originally posted by: .Hajmola.

Yup...depending on your tuning your life partner can either make life easy for you or make life hell. Its best to go ahead with marriage when one is ready and when one thinks he/she has found Mr/Ms Right. Relatives or society wont come to help you deal with your day to day problems. Everyone is so busy with their own lives.
I think ZGH subtly showed that too. When Kashaf was pressurized to marry she was going to say yes to Osama who was the practical choice for her. But finally she married Zaroon as she saw some qualities in him which made her feel he was her Mr. Right.