Warning bells for Nav - Page 7

Originally posted by: Chaitu.V

Did I quote wrong person ? Or Anisha is it u ? Yesterday in the other thread u tagged me saying how about making Ruhi a legacy kid right ? Oh man ! There r two ID’s with Devil so am confused who quoted me yesterday! If it’s not u am sorry! 😆

Originally posted by: focus7

I don’t get this, Akshara and fam are clearly happy, there is not one scene where she regrets her kasauli family, all of them talk like Akshara has called them and complained cos she is missing intense romance. Is it so hard to accept there are different kinds of family, different kind of love that can exist between people to live happily? If intense romance physical intimacy is the criteria for successful marriage; why did abhira separate?

A relationship full of gratitude is not a relationship of equals, one was grateful because he didn't have a family and another one was escaping her life, living with him for 6 years thinking about her ex enough to feel her ex when she got his muffler through her son, what relationship is this where there's no emotional dependency? Physical relationship is on aspect of it, has Ak been loyal to her husband emotionally, if she was she wouldn't feel all that she did when she met her ex husband. She doesn't want to go back to her ex because there is a lot of bad blood between them, the question is would she even look at Abhinav if there was no communication gap between the two? A relationship between siblings is different, it works when you have 2 or 8 siblings, there's no difference but a relationship between husband and wife doesn't work on basis of constant comparison between current husband with ex husband. Ak living with Abhinav or Ak living with a friend for those 6 years had no difference. Your expectations from your friends aren't same as your expectations from your husband, Abhi let her down, no doubt about it, but it doesn't make the other relationship better. Relationship between a husband and wife is probably the most demanding and most intimate relationship of all, what was there between Ak and Abhinav? Nothing. Add families on both sides and you have conflicts in the relationship. Abhinav got a different version of Ak than Abhi did, she was an equal of Abhi that's why both would fight with each other, Abhi had outbursts so did Ak, Abhinav got an Ak who was grateful to him for anything, she wouldn't fight with him because she was always under his debt, this is a 6 years long burden, not a relationship, comparing it with what Abhi and Ak shared is unfair towards both relationships. The Kasauli life awaits Ak after Abhinav's demise if she preferred it to her current environment she would go back to it.

Originally posted by: OnTheBlock

Ofcourse we all know what's next. And it's simply irrelevant since Abhinav won't be around

Cause there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman moving on from the death of a spouse and giving her heart to someone else. Women are allowed to move on and not stay stuck with someone's memories for life, good or bad. It's regressive to think otherwise. It doesn't make them villains or characterless 😉

The best part is the kind of person Abhinav is (an actually good man) Abhinav too would like that for Akshara. He truly showed her what a healthy relationship feels and looks like so hopefully she chooses well for herself and her kid and doesnt make the same mistakes she did in the past. Good luck to her. Hopefully no more instant divorces😆

Abhinav will always be the husband she would choose over and over again even with all the options available around. Actually there is no other option in her head even. The proclaimed 'roohdar' is not even up for consideration. No what ifs or pining memories. He has been reduced to a second choice forced by death's hand. That is truly fascinating and a first for Rishta. For a FL to break the chain of an abusive partner and be proudly in love with a respectful partner and be vocal about it infront of abusive ex.

Yes, glad you brought his insecurities up because he's a human being with feelings too. This is also where the difference is stark with Abhimanyu when it comes to achhai, the basis of this post.

While going through his own demons, not once has Abhinav Sharma abused or character assassinate his wife. Throughout his battles with his own demons, never one did he throw divorce papers at her or thought of hurting her in any way. THAT is CONSISTENCY. That is the difference between actually being a decent man and being whitewashed into being one as per convenience

lol, yes the great husband who for first six years was not concerned with her inner struggles and then was so wrapped up in his own insecurities that he ignored her plight.

Originally posted by: NomadicWonders

lol, yes the great husband who for first six years was not concerned with her inner struggles and then was so wrapped up in his own insecurities that he ignored her plight.

I think a lot of women or people in general would agree that we don’t want a partner who constantly brings up our past or holds us responsible for whatever happened. There are people who would bring up our past with the slightest inconveniences and others who never even make us feel as if we had a horrible past. We can help others walk their path but can never walk for them. We should never rely on others to heal us. Healing comes from within.
I don’t have to give any other examples because we have one in Abhinav who never wanted to know what happened in Akshara’s past because he knew it was horrible taking into consideration how and in what state he found her.

Again, Akshara herself made it prominent a billion times how happy and at peace she was so why is it so hard to accept it? Now once her husband passes away, she can happily move on after she heals from it with whoever she wants and chooses.

Akshara and abhinav marriage life is four months old from march when he tied ms on her and she assured herself she will move on. In those 6 years she was happily living in peace full life free of all blames and fights. In initial kasauli episodes if we had seen clearly their was a scene where nav said to lighten her and abhir mood he will get her and abhir favorite snacks and said wrong once which ak corrected and sent him. Even though ak married him in papers and made him father of her kid she kept boundaries with everything among them.

Their were even conversation between them where ak asked do you except anything from me and nav said he is happy with what he has this is enough. That shows 6 years they were nothing more than friends roomates with no expectations.

Their real marriage life and testing times started when they started with their let's move on idea.

The next moment what happened at every single turning point nav showed his insecurities comparing every bit of his life with akshara's ex husband.

Ak ji i can't give grand love story like your ex husband.

Ak ji i am not like bhai ji. And so and so.

Trust me until that day i liked abhinav more than abhimanyu i didn't even feel bad for ak move on until these words came from nav mouth at every turning point and every single problem arises.

A girl had struggled this much and finally decided I will move on will give space to another man in my life and what is she in return hearing from him everyday. Her second husband comparing himself with her ex-husband.

If abhimanyu had emotional drained her with his anger abhinav did no less with his inferiority complex and insecurities. In real life any girls body gets shiver and chills when your current husband is constantly comparing himself with your ex husband.

Makers kept both of ak married life in cliff.

Originally posted by: Noorain13

I think a lot of women or people in general would agree that we don’t want a partner who constantly brings up our past or holds us responsible for whatever happened. There are people who would bring up our past with the slightest inconveniences and others who never even make us feel as if we had a horrible past. We can help others walk their path but can never walk for them. We should never rely on others to heal us. Healing comes from within.
I don’t have to give any other examples because we have one in Abhinav who never wanted to know what happened in Akshara’s past because he knew it was horrible taking into consideration how and in what state he found her.

Again, Akshara herself made it prominent a billion times how happy and at peace she was so why is it so hard to accept it? Now once her husband passes away, she can happily move on after she heals from it with whoever she wants and chooses.

The premise of husband not bringing up the past is valid but the extension of it doesn't fit in this story where Ak was holding on to her past and didn't feel like she has someone she can share it with. The past is very much a part of her emotional conscience, when she was under tremendous pressure of losing her son, she found comfort in arms of her ex husband while her current husband had ignored her emotional well being. When AK wasn't loyal to Abhinav for 6 years of their marriage, where do we have a scope of discussing how a husband and wife behave here? Which husband or wife would be content with his wife feeling the touch of her ex through his muffler? Ak says a lot of things in anger like Abhi does, she said she wouldn't let him be Abhir's father and today she assured him that he is Abhir's father. Ak's actions and words don't match

Originally posted by: SwatiSingh79

The premise of husband not bringing up the past is valid but the extension of it doesn't fit in this story where Ak was holding on to her past and didn't feel like she has someone she can share it with. The past is very much a part of her emotional conscience, when she was under tremendous pressure of losing her son, she chose to rely on her ex husband for comfort and hugged him tightly, while her current husband had ignored her emotional well being, this is not a good relationship. When AK wasn't loyal to Abhinav for 6 years of their marriage, where do we have a scope of discussing how a husband and wife behave here? Which husband or wife would be content with his wife feeling the touch of her ex through his muffler? Ak says a lot of things in anger like Abhi does, she said she wouldn't let him be Abhir's father and today she assured him that he is Abhir's father. Ak's actions and words don't match

That’s from Akshara’s end. We’re talking about Abhinav here but if you’re opening up about Akshara, initially they showed some type of soul connection but I’m proud of how they dealt with it moving forward and not showed Akshara running after her ex and being disloyal to her spouse. When you have a past and a child together you can’t completely ignore everything no matter how happy you are and that’s completely normal so for Akshara to feel something wasn’t out of the blue.
I don’t think they ever showed Akshara was in need of someone to share something with in the show so those are just assumptions on here. They never showed her having to go through trauma in the show after leap so again just assumptions on here. She might have initially in the first year or so which wasn’t shown and nor do we know how Abhinav dealt with it.

Originally posted by: Chaitu.V

Did I quote wrong person ? Or Anisha is it u ? Yesterday in the other thread u tagged me saying how about making Ruhi a legacy kid right ? Oh man ! There r two ID’s with Devil so am confused who quoted me yesterday! If it’s not u am sorry! 😆

I guess it was the other Devil... I'm not really active on MF these days...got bored of the show long ago just watching it out of habit

Originally posted by: NomadicWonders

lol, yes the great husband who for first six years was not concerned with her inner struggles and then was so wrapped up in his own insecurities that he ignored her plight.

What? Oh absolutely a great husband! Who actually gave SPACE to his wife to open up on her OWN TERMS and her own TIMELINE.

Why would any decent life partner bring up anything to trigger their spouse when the spouse itself wasn't clearly ready.

Trauma and processing of that trauma, healing and recovery is never linear. It takes months, years and even decades to come to terms with a traumatic event.

Abhinav build a home for Akshara to take solace in, find comfort in...be ready to reveal or NEVER reveal her past. Thats on Akshara. The onus was on Akshara whether she wanted to reveal her past struggles or not. Why would any decent partner force her when she clearly wasn't ready. Ajeeb.

Recovery and healing mandates a safe space, which he created for her. That's why it was so easy for her to reveal everything so easily when her past triggered her.

But the timeline and right to that conversation and that reveal had to Akshara's and hers only. The onus to reveal or not reveal her struggles was on Akshara. Had to be her choice and on her preferred time. If that time was NEVER, then nobody has the right to force it out of her or bother her about it.

Anybody trying to force their spouse's trauma out of their system or accelerate someone else's trauma processing and healing because of their own concern can never be considered a good partner.