Akshara and her reasoning - Page 3

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

I understand your frustration charu and I hope I didn't come accross as criticizing may be some posts you made ( that was not my indication) if it did forgive me.

I was just trying to look at this way that no matter what she does she will never be able to please both parties at once and,

if she turns rebellious, it can be a temporary solace but once Naitik and family patches up it will be back to square one.

Now I do agree that she should be more tactful.

Perhaps as you suggested say so , that I will make hot breakfast for you type.....

but I do not think thats Akshara's nature.

It comes to her slowly.

But she is learning.

and I still think she is doing a wonderful job!

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

I agree with the point that she needs to pay more attention to Naitik.

But before I humbly put my thoughts on that point,

I wanted to bring out one fact

That, a wife is someone who is in a relationship that is changeable, where as a mother can never be changed.

We have to look at the relationship in a manner where we understand the status of it.

A wife can never compete with the husband's mother (at least in my POV)

She will always be on the fire.. agay khada tho pechay khai.. No way is safe for her.

If she sides with her husband (when there is a clash) then the husband will be happy that he got the support of his wife.

But once things are fine, then wouldn't the thought come to his mind that, his wife actually helped him in his rebellion against his own mother? (parents-family)

Who will be blamed then?

I think, that one has to be tactful when it comes to living in a joint family (or not- because the husband's mother [family] is still in the picture]

Akshara, here when she tries to please her husband, she somehow gets her in laws angered.

And when she tries the other way, Naitik gets upset.

Whom should she follow?

its not simple as follow the husband , why,

becuase as I mentioned before , once things get better,- the husband and inlaws when they patch up... one thing that remains in the mind of everyone is ,

the wife did not do anything to patch up the husband and the in laws. and will get blamed even by the husband for not even trying

No one is going to blame the husband.

=============================

So THats why its kind of amazing and sad for me when She gets blamed even by us Viewers.

Yes she is kind of getting idealistic , and whats wrong in that? I guess thats one way of looking at things right?

Is being so upright wrong.

=========================

Now about paying attention to Naitik...

I believe that she does pay attention to him. As much as he needs but the nature of his is of such sort that, he always wants his way and he fails to look at the other person's perspective. I kind of blame his parents for giving him everything , at a simple gesture of his.

Now, he is failing to understand (sometimes he understands, but a little later , after the damage has been done) the responsibilities of Akshara and in that way he is not paying attention to her.

TO the home politics and kind of undermining her feelings and not looking closely at her home-role-play.

All I ask is.. I think , and I will do this that, we have to give Akshara the benefit of doubt and to not blame her at the first chance we get.

-

sorry if I offended anyone.

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

I was wondering , sometimes, the actions of Naitik bogles me.

During the batwara announcement, Akshara was wanting to again and again apologize and

it did not occur to Naitik that perhaps .. all he had to do was to apologize in a proper manner.

and to work on convincing his dadaji rather than accepting the proposal.

no no no no no no ! no way..no amount of apologizing wud have made a difference..pehle toh why apologize?naitik was partially correct....in his POV, he did a right thing by lending money from vishambhar n he did it to save daddaji....if daddaji takes it in a different way , it's his problem..and then, it wasn't he, it was akshara who took this step, he saved akshara by not taking her name initially ! why not appreciate that? why did daddaji make a fuss over the word dowry ? when he and his wife were ready to give trucks full of them to nandini ! 🤢 naitik did the right thing by accepting the proposal bec. he knew daddaji will not change his decision and when his parents didn't make an effort , raise an objection that they don't want a division from their son and DIL, then why should naitik beg in front of daddaji?? so that their wrong thinking is cemented that it was indeed a mistake which naitik did !

I mean yes I agree its good that he got separated etc. ( from the POV of Naksh betterment)

even there we see that he accepted the decision right away, without putting up a good fight ,

fight means fight and more fight but how can one fight when the opponent says "bas, main kuch nahi sunna chahta, aisa hi hoga , mera yahi faisla hai"...whatever naitik does is manmaani for them, then it's better both of them hold on to their POV's and keep quiet rather than provoking and giving the other person a chance to say that he's arguing with his elders ! 🤢 (their biggest problem with naitik)

Sometimes he really confuses me.

I feel that , He does really want to get out of the entire family ( atleast out of their control and do what as he please) even though he says thats not his motives.

can't say that..but yes, he wud have welcomed this decision also 😆

I watched the entire thing again and for the first time I saw the POV of dadaji and he was making sense that Naitik's defiance is not just something that comes as eruption to some situation rather its something that he wants. that is to not recognize the authority of Dadaji over his own thinking and way of handling things (everything).

absolutely....this is how naitik is...i can say a lot in daddaji's defense also but lets leave it there

======

and Akshara I think is stuck.

It would be better if they separated so that she does not have the pressure of facing BM and G3 (and others) even though she does not have to answer them any more (or so technically- i see no difference )

again, here Naitik I feel has failed to clarify that if they were to be separated then just leave.

prolly the CV's wanted to develop this track differently than Shaurya - Varsha's seperation...i'm making a wild guess here that they will develop it that way ke naitik realizes his "imaginary" mistake 😆 BTW this is nothing new for me...a few years back, my father implemented the same system in my family for better...this is the best possible solution wherein u have ur space & u enjoy the advantage of living together

=====

dadaji said, that he is not 'khator dil' to kick them out. But I think there is more to that, and its the people. He is afraid of what people might say and that is why he didn't tell them to leave.

he's the biggest hypocrite 🤢

=====

Anywayzz just random thoughts. that the situation for Naitik is very diff. vs. Akshara's

For her, I still see her life being much the same ( answering authority wise) where as Naitik has a say now where he actually can make a decision and expect Akshara to abide in.

I feel bad for her...

She will end up NOT going to the pooja and there is a good possibility that later when things get better, she will be blamed for this, as to not being able to convince Naitik to join the pooja during the rift.

poor her! : (

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

hmm.. Does he really now.

I find him to be very manipulative

he's not manipulative but he doesn't take as much tension as akshara takes..he's chilled out..if he's the bad guy out there he doesn't bother...if the man of the house starts taking so much of tension over little things then ghar nahi chal sakta der se kyun aaye, jhoot kyun bola, bahu maayke kyun chali gayi, movie dekhne kyun gaye, parantha kyun nahi khaya cornflakes kyun kha liya, ye bhi koi issues hai life ke? why should he change himself coz he's the lucky one who got the comfort of his home...agar woh bhi "bahu" hota toh woh bhi ro raha hota 🤣

Many of the misunderstandings have been caused because he has actually not spoken his mind to those people in authority (dadaji)

nobody does that in his house..not his father mother or anyone...but he tried to speak his mind whenever it was important..

But we should also notice how g3 and Bm did not speak up. and if they would have spoken dadaji would have gotten angry but since akshara spoke, he did not mind rather he supported her.

that's true..daddaji relaxed his rules for akshara ..he never talked to her directly, whenever there was a problem he addressed it to choti dulhan who made a mountain out of a molehill...daddaji gave her the permission to remove pallu...he was sympathetic towards her during the seperation phase...

some very weird things happened when baisa was around..akshara got some divine powers of speech 😆 naitik became more vocal than he was...baisa ke time par naitik got the max thrashing from all sides...akshara also stopped him a lot of times..

in other words, I want to say is: Akshara does speak up but, we have to see things through her eyes, that she does not have the liberty as much as Naitik does and even then she has maintained a balance.

the truth is that naitik doesn't have that much liberty otherwise this situation wouldn't have come up....if naitik has it then he's lucky and it has worked in favor of akshara a lot of times..otherwise unke khandan mein koi honeymoon par nahi gaya tha 🤣

I personally see that she has grown a lot and has done a wonderful job over all.

Yes , there is a huge misunderstanding going on right now, but with time that will also change and I am sure it will be Akshara's patience in handling both extremes ( the dadaji and other elders , & Naitik) that they will come closer.

yeps , she has maintained a balance by ignoring herself...if it works for her fine...but we've seen how successful she had been....

it's not a MU dear..it's the conflict of 2 generations ! and both will have to bend n leave the authority if they wanna live together peacefully...

anywayz my 2 cents

Did not mean to offend anyone

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

Honestly though charu.. do such families exist?

SO much rigid-ness

I mean thank GOD all my family members are super cool

and I do nto live with my in laws so thats like sonay pe suhaga type.

When ever there is an issue in the in laws (family side) I just leave it for my husband to solve and remain quiet.

I married a punjabi and I am south indian so , years my in laws think I do not understand punjabi lolol

[ I do understand much of it.]

I just remain a dummy and oblivious to anythin gthey talk to heheeh

saves me HUGE amount of un-necessary involvement : )