Akshara and her reasoning

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Hi,

I have just one thought, a question, a concern...

that

Why does Akshara get blamed all the time?

I mean in the serial I can understand , cause she needs to be blamed for the story to progress but many times I have seen in the forum that,

when ever there is an issue (through out the tracks ( all of them) )

I see that , she is put on blame a lot. Her actions are always questioned.

I mean I agree that criticisms can be made and its fine,

but somehow i feel that, many, do not give her the benefit of doubt.

The same sympathy that Naitik gets, we do not give it to Akshara..........?!

is there a particular reason why?

Why is her action given taunts and names like Akshara matha? etc. etc.

Am I missing something here?

Why is her action not taken on face value and with the attitude that she is learning as well and in a manner that, ok she will learn from this and a positive constructive criticism is made?

Sorry,

Just noticed a lot of this attitude through out the forum from many, and not just now but for a while now.

Suchi

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ss153

@ss153

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

maybe it's because naitik speaks his mind and akshara doesn't

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

hmm.. Does he really now.

I mean I feel that he has spoken his mind only to Akshara. The person who is under him ( or listens to him technically)

I find him to be very manipulative

Many of the misunderstandings have been caused because he has actually not spoken his mind to those people in authority (dadaji)

=====

I see that there is a clash in authority going on between Dadaji and Naitik.

Since Naitik is not able to take commands sitting down he has through his actions kind of revolted , though not meaning to insult ..

But during this process the person who gets most effected is Akshara becasue, she has to recognize more authorities than he has to

Dadaji, Rajbanna, Gayatri, and Bhabima.

======

My point is .. I agree that she needs to speak up at certain points but, she is learning as well.

for example, she spoke up when Baisa said that I havent' seen the girl's parents eat in the sasural of the girl and was taunting them.

I was quite surprised that she actually spoke out and corrected Baisa saying that, they are treated diff. in their house.

=======

But we should also notice how g3 and Bm did not speak up. and if they would have spoken dadaji would have gotten angry but since akshara spoke, he did not mind rather he supported her.

=========

in other words, I want to say is: Akshara does speak up but, we have to see things through her eyes, that she does not have the liberty as much as Naitik does and even then she has maintained a balance.

I personally see that she has grown a lot and has done a wonderful job over all.

Yes , there is a huge misunderstanding going on right now, but with time that will also change and I am sure it will be Akshara's patience in handling both extremes ( the dadaji and other elders , & Naitik) that they will come closer.

anywayz my 2 cents

Did not mean to offend anyone

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rainy.days

@rainy.days

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

I completely agree with you, Suchi. The exact same things have been running through my mind for the past few days. Many of the comments on the forum are in support of Naitik; and while I do agree that he has done an amazing job supporting Akshara and being a really good husband, Akshara deserves the same kind of praise. Naitik does not have the same kinds of problems as Akshara. We can all sit here and say that Akshara needs to speak up, she needs to stop worrying about Gayatri all the time, she needs to focus on Naitik, etc., etc. The thing is, she has to worry about Gayatri all the time because she knows that Gayatri will give her a hard time either way - Gayatri will never say anything to Naitik, but she will to Akshara and Akshara knows this.

For example, when Naitik told Daddaji that there was an accident yesterday which is why they were late, Gayatri ended up saying that Bahu lied to her, etc. - Ultimately, it was Akshara's fault.

In today's episode regarding the puja, Akshara didn't want to do puja with her family, she wanted to continue searching for her in-laws, but Naitik insisted that they do it with Rajshri. But what did Gayatri say? "Bahu wanted to do puja with her maayka." - Again, it was Akshara's fault. Akshara knows that she'll get blamed for it even if it wasn't her fault. Naitik is completely oblivious to all these problems. Naitik should have understood the seriousness of the situation and tried to come earlier to the mandir, he should have tried to continue looking for his parents instead of doing puja with Akshara's family - if he did, then they wouldn't have been in this problem and Akshara wouldn't have been blamed. I really don't see any fault of Akshara in this. She knows how important the puja is for Naitik's family and she tried to make Naitik understand, but he just doesn't get it. She's doing all this because she's tired of hearing all this crap from her MIL. Yeah, it never ends up working in her favour, but she still tries. And that's really the least she can do to help herself - keep trying in the hopes that one day Gayatri will find some good in Akshara and end up supporting her instead of taunting her.

Also, in terms of the precap for tomorrow's episode, Akshara realizes the seriousness of the situation, but once again, Naitik just doesn't get it. Yeah, so what if they have batwara? A puja in the house every morning is not the same as the MahaShivratri puja! Why doesn't Naitik understand this?! Why is he telling Akshara to not go downstairs? Akshara knows that as the bahu it is her duty to be there to serve guests, etc. - Naitik should at least understand this. But no, he's too busy asking her to look for his razor. And of course, Gayatri's going to blame Akshara for not coming downstairs quickly, even though Naitik is the one stopping her.

This entire thing is so frustrating! Akshara deserves a lot more credit than she's getting right now. She's trying her best, and that's all she can really do. I find this to be an extremely realistic portrayal of a woman conflicted between so many expectations and responsibilities.

Edited by rainy.days - 14 years ago

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smrth

@smrth

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

Can't say for entire forum, but general drift that I gather from here, and partially agree with, is... a.) Akshara's (character's) 'unnatural' sugariness, not reflecting semblance to a reality model. She is a stereotype 'ideal' soap bahu- portrayed too lame… A tale's prerogative to show 'Heroics/idealism', stretched too far- always subservient, extra bending to unworthy elder's but somewhat inconsiderate too her real friend- Naitik. b.) Self effacingly acquiescing to MIL/ in laws- so much so that compliance appears on verge of an outright flattery- eager to please them at any cost- but mildly careless to Naitik's feelings (improved on this front, though lately) c.) Becomes meddlesome when not necessary- in zeal to prevent unpleasant things to elders, even at extent of becoming somewhat evasive or lying and hugely inconsistent…d.) irritating in out doing Naitik on grief matters when actually his natural family is involved……all these points to a synthetic character portrayal, and hence the anger of viewers appears to be directed to Cv's this Akshara. If you must have noticed, people were used to be equally or more angry on Naitik too, but lately his character portrayal has improved for better- more realistic and consistent. Hence the support.

Your point on Akshara's growing process and her natural disadvantage vis. her in-laws, more layers of authority or Naitik's unintended disregard of some of her difficulties are well put and valid. And the day, Cvs will make her more realistic; people would start relating more to this character…My POV.

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@maan-and-geet

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

i totally agree with you thats why i gor irritated and stopped posting.... coz the poor girl is always blamed left and right and if you say something to support her there is a fight..... so decided to stay quiet 😳

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

I agree with the point that she needs to pay more attention to Naitik.

But before I humbly put my thoughts on that point,

I wanted to bring out one fact

That, a wife is someone who is in a relationship that is changeable, where as a mother can never be changed.

We have to look at the relationship in a manner where we understand the status of it.

A wife can never compete with the husband's mother (at least in my POV)

She will always be on the fire.. agay khada tho pechay khai.. No way is safe for her.

If she sides with her husband (when there is a clash) then the husband will be happy that he got the support of his wife.

But once things are fine, then wouldn't the thought come to his mind that, his wife actually helped him in his rebellion against his own mother? (parents-family)

Who will be blamed then?

I think, that one has to be tactful when it comes to living in a joint family (or not- because the husband's mother [family] is still in the picture]

Akshara, here when she tries to please her husband, she somehow gets her in laws angered.

And when she tries the other way, Naitik gets upset.

Whom should she follow?

its not simple as follow the husband , why,

becuase as I mentioned before , once things get better,- the husband and inlaws when they patch up... one thing that remains in the mind of everyone is ,

the wife did not do anything to patch up the husband and the in laws. and will get blamed even by the husband for not even trying

No one is going to blame the husband.

=============================

So THats why its kind of amazing and sad for me when She gets blamed even by us Viewers.

Yes she is kind of getting idealistic , and whats wrong in that? I guess thats one way of looking at things right?

Is being so upright wrong.

=========================

Now about paying attention to Naitik...

I believe that she does pay attention to him. As much as he needs but the nature of his is of such sort that, he always wants his way and he fails to look at the other person's perspective. I kind of blame his parents for giving him everything , at a simple gesture of his.

Now, he is failing to understand (sometimes he understands, but a little later , after the damage has been done) the responsibilities of Akshara and in that way he is not paying attention to her.

TO the home politics and kind of undermining her feelings and not looking closely at her home-role-play.

All I ask is.. I think , and I will do this that, we have to give Akshara the benefit of doubt and to not blame her at the first chance we get.

sorry if I offended anyone.

Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 14 years ago

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457639

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

@smrth..

once again.. an awesum post.!!👍🏼

i agree with suchi here..

akshara is trying really really hard to keep her husband n her in-laws happy.. and i hav absolutely no complaints from her.. the problem lies with the situations in which she is put.. n not in akshara herself.. she is put into situations in which she has to chose between her in-laws and her husband.. n she noes ki which ever way she'll go.. she'll end up disappointing either one of them..

many a times we start comparing her with naitik.. wen naitik can do this.. why not akshara.. but the point to be noticed here is ki akshara is the BAHU of the house.. n naitik a BETA.. he can argue with everyone in the house.. gharwale usse 2 din ke liye naraz rhenge.. den everythng will be back to normal.. lekin the day akshara starts to behave lyk dat.. sasural wale will start taunting her.. bahu jhagdalu hai.. ghar mein kalesh paisa kar rhi hai.. n den.. naitik too will disapprove of this behaviour.. aap mere gharwalo ka khayal nhi rakhti..

islie wat she is doing is absolutely correct.. the thing is ki there's no other way out.. the kind of environment that she is in.. only this type of behaviour will make her survive in the tough times.. the day she turns rebellious.. everyone will turn against her.. even naitik..

ha.. she's everytym coaxing gayitri.. this is a bit too much to digest.. thoda sa tone down kare to everythng will be fyn.. but otherwise.. on the whole.. she works just perfect for me..

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Charu

@Krinya

Trailblazer

+ 8

Team Critics

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: rainy.days
I completely agree with you, Suchi. The exact same things have been running through my mind for the past few days. Many of the comments on the forum are in support of Naitik; and while I do agree that he has done an amazing job supporting Akshara and being a really good husband, Akshara deserves the same kind of praise. Naitik does not have the same kinds of problems as Akshara. We can all sit here and say that Akshara needs to speak up, she needs to stop worrying about Gayatri all the time, she needs to focus on Naitik, etc., etc. The thing is, she has to worry about Gayatri all the time because she knows that Gayatri will give her a hard time either way - Gayatri will never say anything to Naitik, but she will to Akshara and Akshara knows this.
For example, when Naitik told Daddaji that there was an accident yesterday which is why they were late, Gayatri ended up saying that Bahu lied to her, etc. - Ultimately, it was Akshara's fault.
In today's episode regarding the puja, Akshara didn't want to do puja with her family, she wanted to continue searching for her in-laws, but Naitik insisted that they do it with Rajshri. But what did Gayatri say? "Bahu wanted to do puja with her maayka." - Again, it was Akshara's fault. Akshara knows that she'll get blamed for it even if it wasn't her fault. Naitik is completely oblivious to all these problems. Naitik should have understood the seriousness of the situation and tried to come earlier to the mandir, he should have tried to continue looking for his parents instead of doing puja with Akshara's family - if he did, then they wouldn't have been in this problem and Akshara wouldn't have been blamed. I really don't see any fault of Akshara in this. She knows how important the puja is for Naitik's family and she tried to make Naitik understand, but he just doesn't get it. She's doing all this because she's tired of hearing all this crap from her MIL. Yeah, it never ends up working in her favour, but she still tries. And that's really the least she can do to help herself - keep trying in the hopes that one day Gayatri will find some good in Akshara and end up supporting her instead of taunting her.
Also, in terms of the precap for tomorrow's episode, Akshara realizes the seriousness of the situation, but once again, Naitik just doesn't get it. Yeah, so what if they have batwara? A puja in the house every morning is not the same as the MahaShivratri puja! Why doesn't Naitik understand this?! Why is he telling Akshara to not go downstairs? Akshara knows that as the bahu it is her duty to be there to serve guests, etc. - Naitik should at least understand this. But no, he's too busy asking her to look for his razor. And of course, Gayatri's going to blame Akshara for not coming downstairs quickly, even though Naitik is the one stopping her.
This entire thing is so frustrating! Akshara deserves a lot more credit than she's getting right now. She's trying her best, and that's all she can really do. I find this to be an extremely realistic portrayal of a woman conflicted between so many expectations and responsibilities.

i also wanna quote some examples...day before, naitik said he wants to have cornflakes in breakfast..he said it in front of gayitri...he ate cornflakes in front of gayitri...and gayitri put the blame on akshara ke akshara se BF nahi banta...a layman can also understand that it's not akshara's fault then why did gayitri said it? bec. this is a universal problem of MIL's which is never gonna change....akshara gives them a chance to become a scapegoat..if instead of staring gayitri, she wud have insisted naitik to have something else in BF in front of gayitri, gayitri wouldn't get a chance to taunt akshara ! if akshara would have told naitik in front of gulabo ke she'll cook fresh lunch for him, gulabo wouldn't have got a chance to gossip....so one has to be vocal about certain things otherwise they r always misunderstood....say it in front of ppl. who misunderstand you instead of clarifying later when the damage is done....they will again say she's covering up for her mistakes....

yest. they both were looking for their family but what was more imp. for naitik was to do the pooja whether alone or with maheshwari's or his family...a different POV that's it...dun tell me they got late bec. naitik wanted to rest..they did the pooja right after singhania's so they were on time...if they wouldn't have come, gayitri wud have said "munna toh alag ho gaya usko humari parampara ka dhyan nahi hai", if they wud have done the pooja alone, she wud have said "munna ko toh akele hi pooja karni thi" , if they did pooja with maheshwari's, gayitri said that "bahu ko apne maayke walon ke saath pooja karni thi"...jiski aadat hai bolne ki abhu ke against woh bolega hi....gayitri is in a negative frame of mind and she will think that way only...lets watch the precap first and then comment on why naitik was not ready for the pooja..won't he feel bad that his family didn't wait for them last night??? before leaving the house or in the temple?

it's abt understanding one's nature...akshara very well knows gayitri that's why she's making a constant effort to please her ! but what she does not understand is that she can slog for years and years , yet she won't be able to keep her MIL happy....why? again a universal truth that 1 mistake and 1000 good deeds r in the gutter ! and ppl. (specially females) have this strange habit of not forgetting things...the moment something goes wrong they will start off "5 saal pehle tune ye chupaya tha bahu, toh aaj bhi yahi kiya hoga" 🤢 gayitri is in a rage bec. in a way batwara happened bec. of akshara's meddling into a serious business affair....and she's right in her place...naitik cud have put a blame on akshara but he never did it.....

the point is that therez nothing to feel so bad about certain things, even if gayitri feels that bahu is this and that, it's not gonna change ever ! it's better to filter out certain info n ignore it otherwise life will become hell...what was akshara's fault if they got late? or naitik's fault? it's OKAY if it happened..that's naitik's approach...but if due to this akshara decides not to go out for movies etc. then that's wrong....so much has been said on this issue but it has become a general thing that we're "bashing" akshara ! pahleez ! if she acts more than her age and we address her as akshara maata or sita , it's all being said in good humor...a lot many people call naitik as fat, little boy and what not but i never objected ! dun tell me naitik was never criticized when he did something weird....we love YRKKH, Naitik, Akshara and every character of YR...there was, there is and there will be conflicting views in a discussion forum and if someone expresses their opinion without using foul language then nobody should have a problem with it...n i'm not fighting with nyone here