Posted:
Hi there,
This post originated from a question R & R asked in her post : How would Naina have reacted if Sameer had threatened with Suicide attempt after Naina broke his heart. Would Naina have come forward to admit her love and save him? Or would Naina would have watched Sameer's jump of the roof and still be quite to restore the Agarwal pride?
Here is my answer to that question along with the explanation of the scenario
(With parallels to real life scenarios)
I am more than 100 % sure (going by the way the writers have deconstructed the character of Naina), in a real life scenario, Naina would have watched Sameer jump off the roof and later justify her action too along with a lecture to Sameer. (Some where in the corner of her heart she would feel regret and pain but after a week she will be ready to move on with another match if her family brings it)
Why so ?
Because years of misbehaviour and taunts have turned her (some where deep inside her) in to a stone cold survivor and pathologically obedient to her family. I say pathologically because her obedience to her family is her rightful right.
Threatening with suicide is a form of abuse where one may hurt himself/herself but at the same time make the other person (who is truly in love and care for the other one) go through immense fear and stress. That for me is emotional abuse.
(This is real life comparison.
This post originated from a question R & R asked in her post : How would Naina have reacted if Sameer had threatened with Suicide attempt after Naina broke his heart. Would Naina have come forward to admit her love and save him? Or would Naina would have watched Sameer's jump of the roof and still be quite to restore the Agarwal pride?
Here is my answer to that question along with the explanation of the scenario
(With parallels to real life scenarios)
I am more than 100 % sure (going by the way the writers have deconstructed the character of Naina), in a real life scenario, Naina would have watched Sameer jump off the roof and later justify her action too along with a lecture to Sameer. (Some where in the corner of her heart she would feel regret and pain but after a week she will be ready to move on with another match if her family brings it)
Why so ?
Because years of misbehaviour and taunts have turned her (some where deep inside her) in to a stone cold survivor and pathologically obedient to her family. I say pathologically because her obedience to her family is her rightful right.
But that makes any person (Sameer) who loves her romantically (not yet married) to be in a very vulnerable/weak/disposable spot.
Even after marriage, for the current character of Naina, if the husband is like Sameer (understanding, adjusting, loving and accommodating) Naina will take him for granted again doing as she feels like without giving a hoot about the other person's (Sameer's) reaction.
And when questioned about her insensitive and selfish beheviour she will use the weapon of harming herself.
Even after marriage, for the current character of Naina, if the husband is like Sameer (understanding, adjusting, loving and accommodating) Naina will take him for granted again doing as she feels like without giving a hoot about the other person's (Sameer's) reaction.
And when questioned about her insensitive and selfish beheviour she will use the weapon of harming herself.
As R & R said, in real life these instances are never one off.
When Naina realizes she has another way to get her pov and decisions around, she will instinctively keep doing it. And in the process, keeping Sameer or their love in a perpetual forced fear. As Sameer loves Naina, he will be forced to this psychotic approach also.
Mind it such behaviour get worse with time and Sameer won't know how to tackle it. May be he will end up doing something in real to himself to stop Naina's constant threat.
Though not always, but it's a fact that many individuals who have been insulted, misbehaved, mistreated for years turn stone cold and ruthless deep inside. It's a Survival mechanism. Surprisingly, such persons if get in to an abusive relation and are dominated always, they stay submissive. For example, take Naina and her submission in front of Sharad. Sharad was abusive, violent, dominant and also slapped her. But Naina took it all. She was submissive.
In contrast, in front of Sameer Naina is not submissive. As Sameer is complete opposite to what is Naina used to in her family and from Sharad.
Though not always, but it's a fact that many individuals who have been insulted, misbehaved, mistreated for years turn stone cold and ruthless deep inside. It's a Survival mechanism. Surprisingly, such persons if get in to an abusive relation and are dominated always, they stay submissive. For example, take Naina and her submission in front of Sharad. Sharad was abusive, violent, dominant and also slapped her. But Naina took it all. She was submissive.
In contrast, in front of Sameer Naina is not submissive. As Sameer is complete opposite to what is Naina used to in her family and from Sharad.
Sameer respects her, always encourages her, boosts her self confidence and makes her feel as the center of his world. And how does Naina behaves with Sameer? Completely opposite to how she behaves with her family and Sharad. She is submissive to them but completely dominant over Sameer. She does and decides as she feels like with Sameer.
I am sad for characters like Naina or others, who have been tormented with insults for years.
I am sad for characters like Naina or others, who have been tormented with insults for years.
But, I cannot ignore the fact that such characters like Naina (not all) are many times bound to dominate and manipulate the person who loves them unconditionally - the moment they feel that they have the emotional power over the person.
In our show, Naina is doing the exact same thing to Sameer.
In our show, Naina is doing the exact same thing to Sameer.
In a real life scenario there are high probability for this scenario to turn extremely suffocating for Sameer. A girl who can threaten to jump off the roof to make or force people to listen to her, is a sue shot Red Flag and a big one.
Threatening with suicide is a form of abuse where one may hurt himself/herself but at the same time make the other person (who is truly in love and care for the other one) go through immense fear and stress. That for me is emotional abuse.
(This is real life comparison.
Please note that genders can be reversed in the scenario)
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Coming back to the show:
We all connected because we all fell in love with the story coupled with leads great acting. It's made the serial not a patch work of romance scenes but the evolution of characters.
But now the story is just actors acting and we waiting eagerly for some romantic scenes. There the purpose of the show Ian defeated.
Before You Say, what Naina did happens in reality. Yes it does. But, Naina was projected from the beginning as the epitome of true love. So, she can make mistakes but there is also the need to show that she realizes the mistakes she did.
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Coming back to the show:
We all connected because we all fell in love with the story coupled with leads great acting. It's made the serial not a patch work of romance scenes but the evolution of characters.
But now the story is just actors acting and we waiting eagerly for some romantic scenes. There the purpose of the show Ian defeated.
Before You Say, what Naina did happens in reality. Yes it does. But, Naina was projected from the beginning as the epitome of true love. So, she can make mistakes but there is also the need to show that she realizes the mistakes she did.
Otherwise what's the difference between a vamp and Naina.
Real people makes mistakes and genuine real people realise their mistake. They express their regret and assures the person who loves them that it won't be repeated again and they can restore their trust.
Genuine people take slow consistent efforts to restore the faith of their loved one in organic way (not force it via suicide threat)
Hence, this realisation was required to keep the essence of Naina as the lead FL who is real. Who makes mistakes. Who sometimes hurt the person she claims to love romantically. But who is also genuine to realise her actions/their effects and put genuine efforts to restore the broken trust. Who is sensitive to the insecurities she has created in the person who loves her to marry her.
Hence, this realisation was required to keep the essence of Naina as the lead FL who is real. Who makes mistakes. Who sometimes hurt the person she claims to love romantically. But who is also genuine to realise her actions/their effects and put genuine efforts to restore the broken trust. Who is sensitive to the insecurities she has created in the person who loves her to marry her.
Please note that the current track was not just a passe. It was a track where Naina unilaterally broke up with Sameer due her fear and inhibitions without giving him any chance to understand. Even if we all understand her reasons, the writers kept on infusing such cold behaviour from her that the character kept loosing the essence. Naina was about to be married to someone else. This right after Sameer told her about his dreams that they will have a home together. So, such a serious track required a proper closure and some sort of empathy from her for Sameer and also his friends.
But nothing of that sort was shown. Naina appeared to have completely oblivious and not knowing type behaviour towards the condition of Sameer, his friends and his family. Hence, how am I supposed to connect with Naina (the character with whom I connected the most since the day this show started)
Whenever I now see Naina's character I do not get the genuine feeling anymore. Even Naina's cute smile in the previous episode did not feel cute for me. It just appeared as another ME smile with the relief in her mind that:
But nothing of that sort was shown. Naina appeared to have completely oblivious and not knowing type behaviour towards the condition of Sameer, his friends and his family. Hence, how am I supposed to connect with Naina (the character with whom I connected the most since the day this show started)
Whenever I now see Naina's character I do not get the genuine feeling anymore. Even Naina's cute smile in the previous episode did not feel cute for me. It just appeared as another ME smile with the relief in her mind that:
Yes I escaped from Sharad, yes I also did not appear too wrong in front of my family, yes I got Sameer back (was not expecting it), yes My suicide trick worked, yes that Munna is back in line (jyada phudak raha tha Sameer ke liye), yes Sameer is mine and my Chachaji gave him certificate.
No hint of retrospection in Naina shown by the writers. That essentially distorts the character of Naina.
For some time (for me) it will be just an actress playing the role of Naina effectively. However, the character of Naina that was created by the writers/directors with so much care and & sensitivity is now lost for me (for the time being). It's just a routine to watch the actors performing rather than a show where I can connect with the goodness of the FL for her lover in response to the love being expressed by the ML.
I do wish, to be proven wrong and change this perception.
Would be interesting to know your views too!
No hint of retrospection in Naina shown by the writers. That essentially distorts the character of Naina.
For some time (for me) it will be just an actress playing the role of Naina effectively. However, the character of Naina that was created by the writers/directors with so much care and & sensitivity is now lost for me (for the time being). It's just a routine to watch the actors performing rather than a show where I can connect with the goodness of the FL for her lover in response to the love being expressed by the ML.
I do wish, to be proven wrong and change this perception.
Would be interesting to know your views too!
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A small update in response to another question:
What Naina did is the Spur of the Moment.
What she did might be a spur of the action. It may be right. But again, who knows that? Everything negative in terms of human behaviour starts ONCE only. And before you know, it becomes a regular thing (until unless person is extremely aware)
Also why this Suicide Drama by Naina only for to get Sameer and Munna in line? Because, she knows that they will listen and bother.
Why no Suicide Drama by Naina to STOP her marriage to Sharad being forced on her by her family members?
Because, she knows no one will listen or bother to her antiques. She is not going to be able to mould Taiji, Tauji and SS in her favor by doing any Suicide Drama or Acting. For them trio only real suicide can put a stop to their actions towards her. Naina knows this. So, she never dared that Antique in her own clan (in response to taunts or abuses by Agarwal Trio or Sharad)
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(Please understand that I realize the issues in Naina family. However, this post is only to retrospect how Naina as an Individual Treats Sameer, behaves with Sameer and Reacts to Sameer compared to the insults/taunts she receives from her family members & abuses of Sharad)
I do know that I am again in the minority view. Hence, all brick bats are welcome. However, do sensibly analyze the points I have raised. I have also mentioned that the scenario is not gender specific and can be reversed in real life. So, please do not raise any gender war.
Let the bricks bats begin!
