IshRa TS: I see you, I see you not. (Final Pt 3 - Pg 10 - 10/05)

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#61

Originally posted by: Tuc_Mob
Really nice writing, continue soon!!!

Thank you 😳

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kavya

@s_kavya

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#62

OMG OMG Nidz that was very painful my poor ishra in so much pain 😭 😭

Nidz how you write such Amazing stuff yrr ... our gang has such Talented writers You... Anku.. Atii... Aani... Nee.. Anju 👏 keep up the Great work guys ... so that ishra fan like me keep getting such ishraliouse treat 😳 😉

Once again Awesome.. Amazing update Nidz... Will be waiting for next update jaldi post karna ... thanks for PM 🤗

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#63

Originally posted by: s_kavya
OMG OMG Nidz that was very painful my poor ishra in so much pain 😭 😭

Nidz how you write such Amazing stuff yrr ... our gang has such Talented writers You... Anku.. Atii... Aani... Nee.. Anju 👏 keep up the Great work guys ... so that ishra fan like me keep getting such ishraliouse treat 😳 😉

Once again Awesome.. Amazing update Nidz... Will be waiting for next update jaldi post karna ... thanks for PM 🤗

They are in so much pain 😭 😭

Thank you so much Kavya 🤗 🤗 I was waiting for you to get free and read this 😃 You always want IshRa from everywhere 😛

Once again Thank you Kavya 😃 Will update soon 😊

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traveller_girl

@traveller_girl

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#64

Now this is brilliant

Loved how you wrote it

Continue soon

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#65

Originally posted by: traveller_girl
Now this is brilliant
Loved how you wrote it
Continue soon

Thank you so much 😳

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#66

Part 3 - I see you, I see you not

This is the final part of this TS. It was the most challenging, yet the most interesting part. It was challenging to think how the confrontation should proceed, what all issues need to be sorted, and how should it ultimately end. Interesting because this format of writing that I'm following for this TS is interesting in itself, makes me think more.

Remaining thought I'd share post the shot.

2300+ words. By far the longest I have ever written, where it is supposed to be crisp, but some situations had to be dealt with.

Not proofread.

Monologues and self-talk are colored. Blue for Ishita, Red for Raman. Dialogues italicised.

Shot on the next page.

Edited by -Nidoo- - 9 years ago

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#67

THIS IS A "MEMBERS ONLY" POST
The Author of this post have chosen to restrict the content of this Post to members only.

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#68

Author's Note

Now that you have read the final shot, this is an insight as to why I ended it this way. The kind of suffering these two have gone through, and the amount of pain they have given each other, is tremendous. It is not going to get resolved in a day, which is why I have left it open-ended. This is not a cliffhanger.

While writing this conclusion, I was thinking hard as to how it'd end. My first preference, as an IshRa fan, was obviously for them to end up together. But the more I wrote, the more I went through the pain they endured for and because of each other. It's neither purely his, nor purely her fault, yet mistakes of colossal proportions happened. In such a scenario, I just don't see how these two would get back together immediately. Hence the ending.

I'm open to discussion on this point 😊 So please do leave your thoughts behind.

Edited by -Nidoo- - 9 years ago

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-Anku-

@-Anku-

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#69

Nids 😳 I told you this before, and I am telling you today. This story of yours, and especially this part is one of your best work ever. The last part being a masterstroke. Putting forth what you think in one part, a conversation that could run deep and be endless into something so crisp, concise and so perfectly takes a lot of talent, and you have that in abundance.

I can't point just one line or one instance or one moment I liked in this part. The whole of it was genius.

But some of the best, ones that stay back once I've shut the screen..

To Param, outside the court.

To Subbu's mother, in Iyers' old house.

To Shagun, inside their house and everywhere else.

To his father, that led to the family feud.

Claiming her, as his own.

In a bus, asking for a kiss.

In a restaurant, asking for a hug.

In their bedroom, asking for the special night.

Everywhere he could remind her that she belonged to him

👏👏 That was so effective. Even Ishita couldn't stop him. And these scenes just flashed past. What's most commendable in your work is that through the flow of your parts, there's always a high point that makes you stay back and think, this is one of them.

Another masterstroke that he took her to the cliff...something I'd tag as poetic justice...not that I mean that its what Ishita should face. But it got them full circle.

Their inner battle, like it's been on since the last two parts is a way to highlight just how well they know each other, that they read each others eyes, expressions and know what the other is going to say or is thinking even without having them say it.

"Ruhi... See, who has come to meet you? Remember, two days ago we were talking about her... how I told you that she joined you in the after world, leaving me alone... So obviously she loved you more than me, more than anyone else in the world... that she always cared for you more than her own self... that she would do everything in the world except hurt you... She lied, beta! She lied to you, and to me! She did not join you in the after world, neither did she stay back with me... But see... she's alive! She's alive, Rooh! Your Ishima's alive! And she didn't tell anyone!" he laughed maniacally, till his breath hitched and tears flew out of his eyes.

Those words said so much. That Raman came there more often, facing the worst day of his life... talking to his seemingly dead daughter, and talking to her about Ishita. His words admitting she could never hurt her own child, washing away the accusations he made earlier.

Their confrontation, him questioning why she played dead, why she let him believe he killed her, drove her to her death, of how she would feel if he would die and she would have to exist in that same world without him?

She fights back, but not telling him that he had wrongly accused her, but letting him know how much his trust, his love, his belief meant to her that she believed each word he said. She lived with the accusations of being a bad omen, bad mother and a bad wife and didn't come back for his happiness.

And they truly are at an impasse. They can't be having a solution here, not right away.

Every word, every emotion, every damn thing in this part has left me speechless and amazed, but if there's something that stole the show... it's their inner thoughts, their acceptance of the mistakes made, of the others feelings ...those inner thoughts summed up their relation, whatever they were and are...what they will be was best left unknown. LOVED LOVED how you ended this. Couldn't have done it better.

👏👏👏 BRILLIANT Stuff Nids. So proud 🤗

Edited by -Anku- - 9 years ago

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Anuhyaa

@Anuhyaa

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#70

This is so so beautiful, that I had to login to comment...

What have you done here is so amazing...
Raman & Ishita getting all their hurt & feelings out open is pretty much everyone's dream right now...& you have done such a fabulous job of it ..
with out siding with anyone & without neglecting any words ...
What they do afterwards is a story for another day.

Thank You...
& Iam so glad that I stumbled on to this..

Edited by Anuhyaa - 9 years ago