IshRa TS: I see you, I see you not. (Final Pt 3 - Pg 10 - 10/05) - Page 5

Originally posted by: -Anku-

Everyone's hating on you apparently. BUT I LOVE YOU 🤗 For many reasons, but for now just the fact that you updated this so quickly 😆

I love you too Anku 🤗 And even I'm surprised I updated this so quickly 😆

The first one was started as Raman's voice and here you started with Ishita's. Ishita's heart or mind or brain is like a maze. You dive in thinking it would puzzle you, but you would probably find a way out and only keep getting lost deeper. And even for a character like that, you've taken a few lines, little words to put forth what she's undergoing. Her battle with herself to not look at him, then look at him and avoid, and then finally trying to decipher the state of his heart through his eyes teared me up. I could almost imagine them standing across each other, stuck in time and in an intense eye lock...feeling their world fall apart and come together when they do meet like how you described.

@red - For me, she's actually more easy to write for. She bottles everything up, but her words and actions match. As in, she doesn't suffer from the monster-outside-Puttar-inside syndrome as Raman does. He always makes me go crazy, trying to understand why does he say and do things he doesn't mean

@blue - Her battle has been on ever since she left 7 years ago. She wants to see him, yet does not want to see him. She wants him to be happy, yet tears up on the inside knowing he is happy with someone else. She just wants to know whether her actions left him in a better state or worse.

@green - Actually that was the exact thought I had in mind while writing this TS. I imagined them coming across each other, standing across the fence and just staring. And since these two are such expressive actors, it was very easy to visuaize the scene as if it was playing in my head. Like with the dialogues 😛 😃

What amazes me about your writing here is...like I even said before. That you've not made them talk, you haven't even delved much into their thoughts but in a few lines and words said so much more even none of their confrontations would specify.

And the last two lines, especially the last, BROKE MY HEART 😭 Hit just where it had to.

Mission accomplished 😆

I love the undercurrent of sarcasm, anger and resentment that I get from Ishita. She maybe guilty but I am hoping she isn't forgiving.

More than sarcasm, and resentment, I was going for resignation and acceptance. But this has given me an interesting angle to think about for the conclusion.

Originally posted by: -Atii-

I told you already.

I hate you. Leave my life. I love this.

LAST LINE. UFFF. 😲 Damn woman!!

Updated SOOON. ❤️

Originally posted by: Neetz

For the record , I don't like you..This was 😭😭'"

But I still like you 😳 ❤️

Unres

Nidz, this is super super amazing. I love this writing style of yours. Something new and fresh.

Thank you Neets 🤗

In Part 1, my fav has to be the lead up to Raman realizing that the reason his heart was so restless was because Ishita was there..the way you have penned that down was so thrilling and the argument he has with himself was the cherry on the cake..

@bold - It has to be. These two share such a deep connection, that their sixth sense is intertwined. Her presence rattles him to the core, especially because he can't believe it's her since she apparently died.

As for Part 2, i am sure many have told you already what hit the most.. the last 2 lines.. they hit where they had to.. it was more like a dagger to the heart (mission accomplished, eh?)

Haha yeah 😛 It had to hit that hard, their confrontation would be incomplete without addressing that elephant in the room. The sooner, the better.

I liked that you have not gone into detail in explaining either Raman or Ishita but the words are such that one feels what they are going through. You have made them talk/express through their eyes and that sent a shiver down my spine.. i believe both of them have the most expressive eyes, the windows to their very soul..(or is it that I am imagining DivAn here..😲..argh, screw them).

@bold - We all do that Neets 😉 😆

And like Anku said

i could seriously learn this from you. i go into such detail explaining my characters but you managed to do that with so much clarity in few words. You have encapsulated their feelings, turmoil, varied emotions in less wards and that i think is an achievement in itself cz these two happen to be so difficult to decipher at times that I for one feel like pulling my hair out. You straight went into the crux if the situation with their arguments and talks with themselves and that was enough. No elaboration needed.

That was actually key in my mind. To explore them, by letting them talk to themselves, instead of my usual way of narration. And this is how the new thingy also came into existence 😊

Nidzzz, i love you girl..🤗 This was fantastic👏

Originally posted by: apoo91

Brilliant..

Their inner conflicts... reading each other's eyes..

Absolutely loved the last line..

Continue soon