Originally posted by: EkPaheli
"Chastity is the most unnatural of the sexual perversions."
Rmy de Gourmont, Philosophic Nights in Paris,: Being Selections from Promenades Philosophiques
I see a lot of conflict regarding today and especially Ishita' words and actions but probably minority here, or even a lone ranger but I loved the episode and liked it that there was actually a conversation today about the need of intimacy between a couple, the importance of sex in a marriage sans the baby making that is a byproduct of it.
i too liked the epsd... bcz reality check needed... but the words came from wrong person... even thoug vanduakka did her part too
Maybe because it came from Shagun it sounded all kinds of wrong and weird and stuff, but the talk was very much needed and if Shagun had to be the one to not mince words so be it. She had already once taunted Ishita about this back when she was made to leave the Bhalla home; the only difference is then the motive was to demean her and tonight it was to motivate her, but somehow in a twisted way it makes sense. Shagun is the only person who could have known Raman in a way that no one else family included would be aware of, she is the woman Raman has a history with, who has known him and his sexual side, his appetite in that sphere of the marriage and something had to shake the very foundation of Ishita as a woman to make a progress on the front that has been for long ignored and none of the mothers or sisters could have said those things about Raman to Ishita.
What Shaun said
today though, the lines were crude, cruel and yet dripping with a harsh truth that perhaps no one could have honestly told Ishita in the family being considerate of her feelings.
this was very much needed... as said even the words where lick tearing ur heart with sword... bt reality check was needed...
Lets break down some of the core things which she said - she spoke about love needing an expression beyond just saying the words I love you, that it has to be shown and that is as bold as it could get in this slot...but a reality - the words are spoken between the duo effortlessly but when it comes to expressing that love, in the realm of a physical plane, there' no movement there. Raman speaks about wanting to have a baby with Ishita but has it not struck him that to get his wife pregnant while he does need medicine and science, but he has to do something too and the only times he gets aroused to want wifey is when people are around, when they are all alone he's a monk. When Ishita dressed in that gown both the times she meant to take her relationship to the next level with Raman, but the first they fought and then the family was there and the next time he was under the stupid illusion he is gonna die...but what about after all of that and even before his hypochondria?
These two have had enough time to consummate the relationship but nothing has happened so far, Ishita has NEVER once backed off whenever Raman has approached her - be it holi or the night he wanted to steal those papers, she even shed her inhibitions and walked out in only a shirt for him. She wore the gown he wanted to see her in Mumbai, back home since she couldnt do it then, fulfill his request due to the presence of the family...yes Ishita knows Raman desires her...but there' enough evidence to also support the fact that he has despite all his talks and all her willingness not made a move that is concrete.
It has been said and asked enough times already - what do they do at nights? Raman might have wanted to plan something special for her and all and failed twice - once on the night when they brought Shagun and Adi home, Ishita was not backing off then when she learned his intentions nor later, the night the earthquake happened...but in between these two events and after the latter too, there was no lack of opportunities for the couple, Ishita has never demanded Raman has to book a villa or a maharaja suite or any other thing as a condition for them to go ahead, she has been waiting for him to make the move. When she got enough courage to take the initiative he backed off and even made that comment about wearing proper clothes.
At one point - the Sati Savitri part...Sati savitri is basically a woman who is pure and holy and all we know that, but here it implied stop being a prude if that is the way you are behaving with your man...with your husband be a seductress, an enchantress, hold his attention and don't let his interest be diminished in you since that is potentially setting up your marriage for failure and doom...a man may stray if he is not satisfied by his wife and not all affairs can be physical but a lack in any aspect of marriage can spell catastrophe if not treated with immediately and handled with care which is true.
Not to mention that everyone assumes that since two people who are married to each other havent hit the sack there's something very wrong there and can try to take advantage of the same...the harassment situation is coming up again, a sort of recreation of the incident during Mani track, then the very same woman who wanted to motivate Ishita had said a few words about why Ishita landed at Ashok' party - she had called Ishita hungry for some male attention since she doesn't get any from her husband at home. In fact the words were used by Raman too on the night he was drunk and misbehaved with Ishita but they never took that anywhere, the upcoming recreation of the same thing might be a way to close to loop for the same.
And the last barb about Raman not wanting her as a woman...that was in a way bang on too...since Ishita had to move out of the comfort zone of a wife, a mother and a friend to take the bull by the horns so to speak and approach this front as a woman...take charge of her sexuality and that of her husband' by extension for them to finally make a breakthrough in their sex life...
Ishita has already been thinking along the lines, if you notice when the episode starts and she is talking with Vandu, she says that anything would work when...she knows that all these reports and tests are futile so long as she and Raman don't make a move in their marriage, what Shagun said today though just hurt her beyond words because it was demeaning and degrading - not only to her marriage but as an individual to Ishita herself, as a woman, since the ex of her husband stated out flat that he is a very physically active man or was when she was his wife and there was no issue about them having a dry spell or a boring sex life since he was all over her, but if the same man today even after over a year of marriage is a monk with you, something is wrong with you...the words that Ishita recalls even as she drives home.
The only difference I see is, prior to this Ishita wouldnt have reacted so angrily, so aggressively and made a statement by donning a dress like the one she is about to, what I really wanna see is post that whole drugging incident how things are taken. They could have an argument, since he invariably would be angry about her disappearance and later being drugged, while already miffed with her owing to whatever crap Ass is about to say...and she is gonna be raging mad that not only were her efforts taken in the wrong way but instead she was behaved with the way she will be, adding to the anger she already feels thanks to Shagun' words...the heated argument could finally make them angry enough that they end up in bed together.
As for Shagun being the medium of those words, I say that they had to come from someone and somewhere am just glad that they didnt make Ruhi do anything along those lines imagine that happening *shudders shudders* taking sex ed from a six year old - creepy and sick 🤢
There' a lot of discontent about the conversation Ishita had with the lady doc, mentioning friends and the fact that they have kinda skipped a part...but then just think about this from her POV for a moment.
The fact that the doctors had to know the marriage is not yet consummated is a no-brainer. When visiting for the purpose of a baby, doctors ask you questions like the frequency at which you have sex, any problems with the sex drive, any problem with the erection, the position and even if there are factors like stress, depression or some drugs that you take or any ailment you suffer from...so yeah Ishita had to reveal they have not yet consummated the marriage but what could she provide as an explaination for the same.
Could she tell the doctor the complicated family history, say how Raman and she married for a child and for the better part of the early months of their marriage they couldnt stand each other but as they started getting close, her husband' ex and his son came to live with them under the same roof. tell the doc they have a crazy family with never ending problems, that they are surrounded by fools who even invaded the trip to Mumbai, one they sent her on themselves to have some sexy times with her hubby 😳
Shagun' words about how Raman used to be all over her, added insult to the injury that she inflicted with her earlier words.
And while they were really not pleasant to hear - the words she spoke about maintaining interest in a marriage were absolutely true. Sex is a vital component of marriage and a couple has to move beyond the sphere of parents, children, siblings and xyz roles to don the role of lovers as man and wife, the mention of bedroom by her was also a good thing, when she said that they used to stay locked up in their bedroom...the one space where a couple can shed their inhibitions and just be themselves, where they should also shed the various hats they don in their personal and professional lives and just be with each other.
Last but not the least I am so happy that there was actually an explanation as to how did Shagun learn of their celibate status, she overheard the conversation and the whole thing wasn't just spurred on by a figment of her imagination or anything else 😆
And that they chose to talk about sex in a sorta unabashed way in this slot which is refreshing
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