CHEE ... My analysis from a WOMAN's POV

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Bhanu

@btalwar

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

Helloz Again,

I am on a roll today. But, looking at various posts in the forum inspired me to do this.

For the sake of this post, I proclaim myself as Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla (Hahaaha ... dream of all forum vaasis 😆😆).
What prompted me to say Chii when I found my husband sleeping with me?

To know further, I delve deeper and this is what I find about, well ME.

I am an independent woman born and brought up in an all girls home with my father as the sole man in my life.
I found my prince charming during my teens and he is the best I could get.
All my dreams, fantasies and aspirations of a happily ever after are ruined by the same prince charming because of my medical condition over which I had no control of.
Even when I tried to move on and settle in my life, one after other MEN reject me after they get to know I cannot produce an off spring. They find me UNWORTHY. One of them claimed to fall in love with me at first sight.
I meet an innocent angel who brings the much needed solace in life, however, society abhors this relationship as it has no meaning.
I am forced to marry a man I detest as a last resort to save the innocent relationship I share with the innocent angel.
My man, my husband, clarifies in not so subtle words on our first night, that he will go crazy before he even thinks of touching me. I am not good for him.
One of my husband's relative abuses me, almost rapes me, mocks me in front of my family because he knows the truth of my relationship with my husband and my inability to conceive. According to him, it makes me AVAILABLE and EASY.
My equation with my husband changes with time. I am now friends with him, I accept him as a companion of lifetime, someone I want to grow old with and raise our daughter with.
I Love You. Ha, I will be crazy to fall for someone like you. This is what my husband had to say after he said the same words to divert my attention. Yes, all he wanted to do was divert my attention. That's it.
Bala Jeeju made me think of Raman as my husband for the first time. He is my husband. Does that change anything between us? I don't think so. The feeling is so surreal for me that I get goosebumps.
His bed broke the last night so he happily took my spot on the couch and slept. Mean. I had to settle and sleep on the floor on a single mattress.
I found him sleeping on the same mattress with me in the morning and I ... shouted. I have never seen him so close to me.I cannot imagine my mornings with him. This is not what can be between us. This is not what is possible. He yet again reiterated the biggest truth that neither was he doing anything with me, nor there was a remote chance of anything happening in future ... at all.

Coming back to my analysis on Ishita's thoughts

Being married for few years now, I am very well acquainted with the importance of physical intimacy in a marital relationship, however, am sure, all married women in the forum will agree with me that, passing the barrier for the first time is an uphill task for both the sides, even in a conducive marriage. Awkwardness, Embarrassment, Blushing are some adjectives which will be apt to describe what a woman feels.

Now, please imagine the plight of a woman, who has time and again been rejected by the men of this society, not to mention, her own husband has done that, not so subtly from time to time. This continued even after marriage, even if it was through seemingly harmless jokes. If we keep looking at the same side of the coin for a very long time, sometimes, we tend to forget, that there is another side to it as well. Ishita, whose femininity has always been questioned by different men at different times of her life, will definitely be uncomfortable if she suddenly gets a different treatment.

She has long ago settled for the fact the she does NOT deserve it. She is NOT worthy of it. So, she reacts the only way a woman who has long ago resigned in the battle will react ... she will feel ashamed, not awkward, not embarrassed, no flushed cheeks ... simply ... Chee ...

Your Thoughts Junta.

Edited by btalwar - 10 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Aani

@EkPahelii

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

reserved

Hey Bhanu thanks for making this post honestly I can see people hate the chee thing but I took it with a pinch of salt and had two interpretations for it.

the first one is short and funny - Ishita had a mental image of Raman' w0rds come in her mind making her say the word Chee- her appa coming onto Raman cannot inspire any other word from her 😆

Next - honestly I am more put off with Raman' lines here - he could have said he was merely sleeping and doing nothing else. I can even understand him being annoyed with the questioning since he deflected his answer by relating the incident with Appa as he clearly didn't like being questioned by his wife why did he sleep beside her but the words he used next didnt sit right with me. About not considering herself some hoor and that he isn't even interested in doing anything to her. His callous offhand remarks made in rudeness are actually impacting Ishita and hence her demand the other day his words should be sweet too not just his actions.

That word was also a way of her rejection of his idea - that she would want to come onto him or want him close in any way because honestly here Ishita is the one who is more scared than Raman in my opinion.

He says I Love You offhandedly and takes it back just as easily - she on the other hand hasn't so much as held his hand to show off to anyone or to assert her right over him how can she when he dismisses her time and again? Yes he does sweet gestures like resign for her, get the nameplate for her but all of that is done openly... like you said the CVs are tackling issues one by one and making it be known to the world or the villains in general they are a single unit now not two independent, individuals who work exclusive of each other even in matters that concern them both and their families - but one.

Like how Ishita recently told Param as long as they are together she and Raman are invincible. Now with Shagun coming home she would see the nameplate and perhaps even certain interaction/s which would assure her that indeed Raman isn't bluffing anymore when it comes to his marriage with Ishita like he did initially or that recently when he chose to give that resignation it was because he truly has developed feelings for Ishita which is what I think is the point of getting her home like this.

But, BUT - Like you said the dynamics in a marriage inside the bedroom are a different thing - that equation has to change and for that Raman has to stop being so rude and dismissive of Ishita as a woman to begin with. He cannot expect her to reciprocate in any manner or be cool about sleeping besides him if he keeps on rejecting her even now as a woman or makes it come across she isn't the least bit attractive to him or that he considers her plain.

He need not go all Romeo on her but he should be considerate of how he treats her.

People assume Ishita is an idiot and what not when it comes to NOT understanding Raman' feelings but can you really blame her? Has she once felt in the confines of her room she is special to Raman.

The man was not even willing to share his cupboard with her and she had to live out of her suitcase for ages before she got a little space and even after that when she came back to the home post the Pervy fiasco Raman made it seem he doesn't like her clothes with his... even now on the bathrobe scene day he says how a Madrasan' clothes are in his cupboard... he gives her a nameplate outside the home - proclaims to the world she is his... but inside their own room he makes it seem he cannot wait to be as far from her as possible and suddenly one night he plops down next to her on a small mattress and expects her to be cool about it.

But as usual Raman can do no wrong almost - ah well lets see what causes the dynamics inside to change - what actually causes the fear to give away... cos from the way I see it inside their room with only each other around - they are scared - of themselves and each other but mostly the power that the other could get over them should they hand that out.

These two come with baggages of their own - and while his is a burden to bear - facing infidelity after marriage, post two kids and a divorce hers isn't any less too.

She has had a heartbreak, countless rejections and always the reminders of her infertility to bear .

Also why do people forget her relationship with Subu lasted twice as long as Raman' marriage to0 - 12 years vs. 6 years ... is it any wonder she is taking it slower here - especially when the man she is now dealing with keeps on changing lanes and is himself inconsistent in his approach and feelings for her or in the manner he treats her - cos inside the bedroom and outside he is two different people and unless these two merge - she wont be able to move ahead too.

Edited by EkPaheli - 10 years ago

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columbia

@columbia

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

Very very well written but I think only we analyze like this cvs write episodes or tracks not character or story development they Re not having such depth in analyzing her character so the moving one step in front ten steps back is TV writing so that serial develops not story writing so that character develops

TV shows mei back story nahi rehta for the characters 😕 Buss hamare fans ke 'minds ki khayali pulao hai

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sang3241

@sang3241

Explorer

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Sorry cant agree with you Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla, I will support you only when you have did this before the licence track,,,
I dont agree that this is the first time you both are thsi much close. think about curton rolly polly scene, you both were veri claose still dd your husband made any wrong things? This is high time for you to understand your husband.Please understand him, please do that which is much better than doing fasting for him

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exploringmyself

@exploringmyself

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

i agree wd ur pov..
when 1 is rejected many tyms they start rejecting things which indicates them getting hurt again by the same rejection..
amazing post :)

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redwine1

@redwine1

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

BHanu ... Loved the way u went inside Ishita's head ...

The "CHEE" per se i don't think was the wrong word ..but how it was said .. when it was said & what followed it was the shocker & why the entire forum is up in arms about it ..

Now as u put it ... she is a REJECTED WOMAN .. she thinks she is HALF A WOMAN .. if this same scene had happened in the beginning of their marriage the JOKE of it would have kept this same forum in splits .. But too much has transpired between the 2 for this to be a "CHEE" moment ..

What all u say makes immense sense to me .. in ur last post i too wrote that the CHEE is justified for a woman for whom PHYSICAL INTIMACY is a BIG BARRIER specially coz she feels she is HALF A WOMAM .. PHYSICAL INTIMACY in our country is normally related to creation of progeny .. a place where she feels she is a failure hence Physical Intimacy will always be a Barrier in her mind ..

BUT having said that .. one they have been physically close just a couple of days back ... in a shower .. after which her reaction was very normal ...also the nameplate scene & her acceptance of RAMAN as her husband ... was a big step ..

Now if u look at this scene ... If the "chee" had come immediately after the APPA dialog it wud make sense .. she is disgusted by the talk of intimacy & she is disgusted about the joke that Raman has made of it ... ( i think Aani pointed this out during the LU yesterday .. & she was bang on) ...

But for me personally what was even more difficult to palate was the way she cleans herself .. she rubs her hands as if she was TAINTED .. that was completely not PALATABLE to me ... that was WRONG ON SO MANY COUNTS ... i just gave up counting ... Thats one juvenile ... secondly it belies the closeness these two have already formed .. three she is a dam doctor ... she was all over him when she gave him that back rub ... a million other reasons why that particular SHOT was the WORST EVER ON YHM ...

Awkwardness yes ... also the nok jhok to cover the awkwardness .. which is what RAMAN does by bringing in the APPA topic was APT ... this was a BIG move for the couple .. the ease & no hesitation with which Raman went to sleep next to his wife .. that moment was lost completely .. either don't show INTIMACY now if the writers are not ready for it .. or then show it in a way which is palatable ..

The other thing which irked me & probably the entire forum is a lack of follow thru of this scene .. when the forum says Less scenes of ISHRA .. i guess this is what they are crying for ... U see in the last 2 intimate scenes ... 1. Button popping ..2 . Shower scene ... There is a follow thru .. they both exchange awkward looks .. at the end of the button popping scene u get a monologue of ishita's & at the end of the shower scene u get a monologue of raman;s ... now u know where these 2 stand vis a vis what u saw ... But in this scene there was NO FOLLOW THRU ... it jumped all places ... hence a feeling of W*F did i see .. WHY DID THEY EVEN SHOW THIS ??

During the LU in the first half of this scene .. i had mentioned .. it will be ONE STEP FORWARD .. 2 STEPS back for these 2 ... but this was a million steps back ... now of course we are seeing this scene in isolation ... all one can hope is that a follow thru at some point about this scene & the writers are able to justify the same ..

PHEW ... i am posting more than a regular post in a reply ... 😡 UGH sorry

Edited by redwine1 - 10 years ago

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Bhanu

@btalwar

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: columbia
Very very well written but I think only we analyze like this cvs write episodes or tracks not character or story development they Re not having such depth in analyzing her character so the moving one step in front ten steps back is TV writing so that serial develops not story writing so that character develops
TV shows mei back story nahi rehta for the characters 😕 Buss hamare fans ke 'minds ki khayali pulao hai

Hahaha .. I agree with you to an extent .. in a daily soap, they do not have the luxury to analyze the characters like a novel writer, that is why I have always maintained that written medium beats the visual medium anyday.

However, for the sake of discussion, isn't this entire forum all about analyzing our favorite or not so favorite characters 😳?

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exploringmyself

@exploringmyself

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: sang3241
Sorry cant agree with you Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla, I will support you only when you have did this before the licence track,,,
I dont agree that this is the first time you both are thsi much close. think about curton rolly polly scene, you both were veri claose still dd your husband made any wrong things? This is high time for you to understand your husband.Please understand him, please do that which is much better than doing fasting for him

ol those scenes involved them in conscious state i.e those situations happened when both of them were aware that events happened due sum kind of event happening

here ishita (is not used to c raman this close ) then her subconscious mind was not aware of raman's presence & suddenly founding him this close scared her..

thts my pov.. 😕

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Paru

@paru_rox

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 10 years ago

For all her independence and her strength, Ishita has always seemed to lack confidence when it comes her various sides as a women. As a daughter & sister she is comfortable, probably because these are two relationships in her life where she has never been questioned or felt inadequate in.

Her role as a mother ...yes this has been her biggest insecurity. And it took numerous instances after which she finally accepted that Ruhi is her daughter and she is a good mother. But I have quite a feeling that this inadequacy of her's when it comes to Ruhi will again be in the forefront if something big happens.

Coming to her role as a wife ... Ishita has always fulfilled her roles as a wife when it comes to her duties & responsibilities towards her husband and his family. And no I do not include the physical aspect of a married couple's relationship as a "duty" to be fulfilled 😲. These two started off as a couple who were together for their mutual benefits -- she wanted a daughter, he wanted his daughter back & for her to have a good mother. Their equations changed today but who has confessed??? Who has said they want something more from each other. On top of it, hubby is such a jerk that he taunts her on her physical aspects & keeps telling her there would be nothing more between them. Whattay shit? This to a woman who has undergone immense rejection in her life.

The above is something that any normal person might view this whole situation in. But honestly when it comes to CV's, I have no hopes of such deep thoughts from them. I have a feeling this country dance of one step forward & two back is just to postpone the inevitable to appease the TRP maiyya. So my request, if this is the reason CV's are writing this shit, then please to remove the "Cheee" from Ishita's vocabulary because then it is irritating.

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Bhanu

@btalwar

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: sang3241
Sorry cant agree with you Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla, I will support you only when you have did this before the licence track,,,
I dont agree that this is the first time you both are thsi much close. think about curton rolly polly scene, you both were veri claose still dd your husband made any wrong things? This is high time for you to understand your husband.Please understand him, please do that which is much better than doing fasting for him

Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla happily accepts your point of view and can explain the difference.

I agree I have been close to my husband many a times. Let me quote some

I have sat on his lap in the Satyanarayan Pooja.
He has lifted me in his arms in a supermarket
I was tied up with him in a curtain in our home
He fixed my saree in the hotel for me. Something, very intimate in nature.

However, all these times were different from yesterday. All these times, both of us were aware of our surroundings, we were awake. Yesterday was different because, we were sleeping together. Or, my sleepy head immediately deduced that or let me say, assumed that.

So, as soon as he cleared any doubts of it, my reaction to gauge my the uncomfortable feeling inside me was ... Chee

Hope this explains what Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla wants to share 😳.